Sex Drive Pill - article in NYT

[skroobdlo]

Did anyone else see this?

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/26/magazine/unexcited-there-may-be-a-pill-for-that.html?pagewanted=all&src=ISMR_AP_LO_MST_FB&_r=1&

I'm really, really worried, because apparently now there's a pill to cure lack of sexual desire (in [heterosexual] women). And besides it being really incredibly sexist and heteronormative, there is also no mention of asexuality as a legitimate identity in either the article or the first page of comments. I am slightly consoled by the fact that most of the comments were annoyed women of the opinion "We don't need to be 'cured'" but I feel like this is the reason we need asexual visibility. So that lack of sexual desire is not something that needs to be cured with a pill.

[LionRoar]

Sometimes it is. In us asexuals it isn't, but guess what: some people really want to have sexual desire.

[Vyanni Krace]

Good Lord. -_-

[Seraph's Embrace]

I don't see any reason for it not to be available to the people who genuinely want it, but I wouldn't want to be granted a stronger sex drive any more than I'd want to have reassignment surgery - it wouldn't be right for me as an individual. As long as people (most importantly people trying to prescribe it) bear that in mind, then I can't see the harm.

And if they don't, ask them how they would feel about taking medication against their will while someone else tried to interfere with who they are.

[Phaetion]

At least people have choice whether to take the pill or not.

As ridiculous as I see the news, what of the side-effects? I'm sure there's something on it. I just don't like where this is headed...

[Guest]

I am generally okay with things made for people who want them. This is no exception: if some women want a way to get their sexual desire back, then good for them if they can find one.

However, the whole article makes me sad. It's portrayed as a drug, and... it just looks like those people (at least some of them) actually felt broken because of their lack of sexual desire for the sole reason that sex is considered important by most individuals. I bet they wouldn't have felt the same way if it had been considered an activity like any other.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sex-positive and everything, and I still count this as medical progress, but psychologically speaking, things like these make me wonder whether we've taken it too far or are about to do so. So long, Mr. Huxley, so long.

[Ace Amoeba]

Agreed that having a choice is a good thing. It's not like anyone's going to be forced to take these. Pressured maybe, but that's a horse of another color.

[Janus the Fox]

Well asexuality is not technically the lack of sexual desire, the drug, if it is produced will benefit women who actually want sex, legitimately want it and are bothered by they're personal lack of arousal. It's not going to benefit individuals who don't see it as a problem, it is in the same stance with Viagra.

[Vega91]

For a minor fraction of all the sexually indifferent (or repelled), the condition has been lifelong, regardless of whom they’re with or how long they’ve been with them.

Yeah, that really sounds like these specific people are asexual, and really don't need a drug....

However.. I do think that when one's sexual desires become less, it might be a problem. (At least if the woman feels it is) I see no problem with women who want to become more sexual taking this pill. On the other hand, I do wish this article had had at least one sentence about asexuality, about how not wanting sex can be normal... and I am sacred that if drugs like this become popular, people might start showing these pills on us. Still, if nobody's forced to take these pills, it doesn't seem like a terrible thing, long as they don't have bad side effects.

I am always a little bit worried about meds that alter brain chemistry though.

More than one adviser to the industry told me that companies worried about the prospect that their study results would be too strong, that the F.D.A. would reject an application out of concern that a chemical would lead to female excesses, crazed binges of infidelity, societal splintering.

Just.. what the hell? Because it doesn't matter if men fuck around, but if women do it, then society itself will fall apart?

[Melorian]

It's not really an issue. I could take 10 of these pills and it still won't make me want to have sex with someone. It's not sexual desire that is the issue, it's sexual attraction. I have a libido, I know I do, I just don't want to do anything with it.

This pill is obviously for women who are sexually attracted to their prospective partner but for some reason don't have the libido or energy or desire to follow through with the attraction. I'm guessing that women is this situation may find their mental health affected. Pill will help.

I guess it will be irritating because a lot of sexual people who don't get asexuality will use it to dismiss asexuality as a valid non-orientation. Time will prove that giving this pill to an asexual woman will achieve nothing.

[Fiddler's_Green]

Legitimate Asexual: "Hey Mom so I think I'm asexual"

Mother:"The Horror! We must send you to a psychiatrist"

Quack: "I'm gonna say he needs one of these fancy pills since its completely terrible and irregular for anyone to not have sexual desire"

Legitimate Asexual:"What about what I want? Asexuality is a real thing that exists."

Quack: "He's crazy. Sedate him. He won't be leaving here until he takes those pills."

Mother: "Thank you so much. My son can finally live a normal life."

[wordforger]

Argh! That Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder nonsense again... If you don't desire sex, you don't desire sex. There's nothing wrong or broken about that. If it "causes distress" then that's usually because being stuck in a society that tells you you should want sex can be distressing. If this increases libido, then that's fine, but if it's seen as a cure for this non-disease then it's a problem.

[NamTar]

Yeah, I saw this on Facebook.

My reaction is that, while it's good to have options for people who genuinely want them, I am concerned that this makes lack of sexual desire look like a disease; something to be cured. I feel like the general reaction to a woman who doesn't want sex is that there is something wrong with her, which makes asexuality invisible. Partners of an uninterested-in-sex woman will just think she needs meds, etc. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I don't know. I guess the way it's presented bothers me.

[divided_sky]

Legitimate Asexual: "Hey Mom so I think I'm asexual"

Mother:"The Horror! We must send you to a psychiatrist"

Quack: "I'm gonna say he needs one of these fancy pills since its completely terrible and irregular for anyone to not have sexual desire"

Legitimate Asexual:"What about what I want? Asexuality is a real thing that exists."

Quack: "He's crazy. Sedate him. He won't be leaving here until he takes those pills."

Mother: "Thank you so much. My son can finally live a normal life."

Before you know it, we'll be getting Baker Act'd for claiming to not want sex. Involuntary detention, hooray! Haha

Really though, who cares? People will take what they want for whatever reasons they want. If this makes someone happy, good for them. I really don't think anybody is trying to forcibly "cure" anyone that isn't looking to be cured. Most psychiatric meds have some pretty awful potential for side effects. But for many, the potential benefit of the drug outweighs the risk of side effects. How is this any different? If a person claims their lack of sexual desire is enough of a problem that they'd want to take medications for it, I will take them at their word that it is indeed a problem for their life.

Yeah, I saw this on Facebook.

My reaction is that, while it's good to have options for people who genuinely want them, I am concerned that this makes lack of sexual desire look like a disease; something to be cured. I feel like the general reaction to a woman who doesn't want sex is that there is something wrong with her, which makes asexuality invisible. Partners of an uninterested-in-sex woman will just think she needs meds, etc. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I don't know. I guess the way it's presented bothers me.

Agreed though, it certainly doesn't help the notion that lack of sexual desire/interest isn't a disease that needs a good fixin'. Through meds or otherwise. ;)

[NamTar]

^ I should clarify: I don't see as problematic for those women who have decreased libido and want to try something to perhaps change it.

I see it as potentially problematic for other people who read that article and decide women with no sex drive or low sex drive just need a pill. In my head, I imagine a sex-starved SO telling his asexual GF that she has a problem that can be fixed with drugs. Or even doctors asking about sex drive, and the women answers and is told "there's a pill for that," not understanding that she may not experience sexual attraction and a pill won't change that.( I'm just thinking about this because I scheduled my first psychiatrist visit in 13 years, it's next week, and I dread being asked about this in case the doctor has no clue about asexuality.)

[Vyanni Krace]

You can just see it though cant you? Soon they'll be trying to prescribe asexuals with this pill. Or at least suggesting we try it.

You'll be talking with your therapist or whatever about your asexuality and suddenly they'll say: 'Y'know. I think there's a treatment for that. Try this pill!'...Okay I may be over-exaggerating a bit for the sake of humour, but you get the gist.

[AppleEye]

I don't see a problem with this. They have many different kinds of these pills for men, and I rarely see them for women.

Also, it is meant for women who have sexual desire for their partner, but can no longer muster up enough desire for intimacy. I think that it is very important that women in that position can regain their desire.

And it is a choice, only those who would want to can take it. Actually, I decided a few months ago that next time I go to the doctor I'm going to ask if there is any chance I may just be lacking in libido and if there is something I can take.

[Otohime]

I imagine a sex-starved SO telling his asexual GF that she has a problem that can be fixed with drugs.

My ex recommended that I should take viagra. Apparently, he thought if he could get me aroused enough, then I would be interested in sex. I kinda blew up at him over that, saying that was the worst idea ever. That even when I'm aroused I don't want sex, so that would be nothing but a horrible, horrible irritant (provided the viagra worked on me as a girl, of course).

I don't like the sound of this pill either, mostly because it seems it's just yet another pill instead of just letting things be. If a woman really wanted to desire sex more then ok... but it mostly sounds like yet another reason to try to "fix" people when nothing is wrong. Even a sexual woman shouldn't have to desire sex all the time.

[divided_sky]

But if someone is seeking help for a lack of sexual desire, something IS wrong, at least for them. The simple fact they are going to a doctor about it would suggest that they feel this a problem for them. I'm not one to support throwing medications at every little issue that comes up in life, but ultimately, it's not my place to tell people what they should or shouldn't take. People will take poppers, MDMA, all sorts of herbs to get them going, why not a medication that might be more specifically targeted to help them with their issue?

I'm completely in favor of getting the concept of asexuality more visibility and acceptance, so hopefully doctors will bring this up as a possibility before simply throwing medications at the person. But who are any of us to tell someone that their lack of sexual desire isn't a problem for them?

[Lydian]

I suppose it's good for women who want to feel that way, but the idea of wanting that just seems so weird. It kind of scares me because I can totally see what people are saying with people telling asexuals to take it or even just boyfriends trying to make their girlfriends take it just because they want to have more sex and don't think their girlfriend wants it enough even though she doesn't have a problem and I just...sdfghjkl; $20 someone is going to try to tell me to take this. I've already had a girl from school tell me I could just take hormone pills to 'fix' my 'problem'.

[Blood-of-Cherries]

I wouldn't take that pill. I know have said sometimes that I wish I was sexual but I wouldn't change who I am with a pill.

[Schrecken]

I think the whole notion of "hypoactive sexual desire" stems from a woman simply having a lesser desire for sex than her partner (usually a male partner). So if her partner desires sex and she doesn't feel like participating, she may feel bad about that and feel she lacks enough desire to want to have sex. In other words, if she is with a partner who has very little desire for sex (that his libido matches or is less than hers, and his desire for sex is the same as or less than hers), then she probably wouldn't feel as though she had a problem. So "hypoactive sex drive" only exists as a disorder if you are with someone who desires sex more than you do. Basically it's a situational "disorder".

I guess this would be a bit like there being a pill to make women want to accompany men to sporting events and actually enjoy the sport as much as their man does (yes I know there are women who like sports, but many don't, depending on the sport). But if their man isn't into sports, then there would be no need for such a pill. But of course, no pharma company would ever waste money in trying to come up with a way (if there was one) to make women gung-ho to head to the bowling alley or golf course with their man.

I guess the whole thing boils down to compromise - if a woman is willing to take a pill (and not all would be) to reach a compromise with a partner who has a higher libido and desire for sex than she does, I suppose that might be OK in some circumstances.

[Lydian]

Ugh, I mentioned this to my boyfriend just because it seemed an interesting topic and we've been OVER why I would not want to ever boost my libido and he asked "but you'd take it for my sake, right?" and just ugh and it made me feel like shit all night. I know he didn't think there was anything wrong with the idea because he figures if I had that 'itch' I'd be more willing to compromise but all it would feel like is instead of just having to deal with society pushing me for this shit I'd have to deal with my own body practically forcing me to want sex. Based on the article those women want it all the fucking time now too. Ugh. Libido or not it wont change the fact that I'm still repulsed and would still rather not. I can't even GET anywhere by myself so assuming I COULD get any satisfaction out of sex, now I'd just get to have my own body forcing me to have sex. Lovely.

I know he doesn't understand why I think having a libido would be so terrible for me but considering I've explained it to him before it really bothers me that he would even suggest it. This is exactly what I was afraid of, guys telling their ace girlfriend to take this shit, whether they mean well or not. All it's gonna do is make them an asexual with a sex drive, it wont make them WANT it if they don't already. This isn't something to cure asexuality it's for women who want sex and just want to boost their libido.

I'm just so bothered that he would just assume I'd take such a stupid pill. As much as he tries, I think he doesn't really understand why it bothers me so much and he's just overly optimistic about me liking sex when we try it. I know myself well enough to say chances of that are pretty low for various reasons.

[WhenSummersGone]

Unless this pill made men more attractive than they actually are, it's not going to work for me. Even the times I was drunk I didn't find men sexually attractive. I'm not sure what inner sexual desire for partnered sex feels like but if there's no one I want to sleep with it's not going to work. Does the article mean women who don't even want to masturbate anymore? I have a high sexual desire to masturbate a lot, but I just don't find 99.9% of men sexually attractive and that .1% is being generous.

All this pill would do is make me masturbate even more than I already do.

[ItAllMakesSense]

All this pill would do is make me masturbate even more than I already do.

LOL! That statement is so funny because it's so true!

I think people should be more accepting of others around them. I'm glad it's available to those who want it but it's ridiculous in a way too.

[Guest]

All this pill would do is make me masturbate even more than I already do.

Yup, this. Which is why the only pill I'd be interested in would be the one with the exact opposite effect. :lol:

[GeminiJo]

Not to start a Thing, but it sounds as if some of you are a little...well...paranoid. Do you really think someone is going to force you to take a sex drug? I mean, outside the criminal activity of someone forcing any drug on you, like a rapist. In which case it would more likely be something....else. I don't see that happening.

What I do see happening is a lot of women who miss sex, because they once had it, going for this drug right away. I would. I admit that freely. I'm not asexual to make any kind of statement. If I could enjoy sex, I'd love to give that a try. It's an experience, not a statement, for me. If my friends said I was brainwashed on the pill, I'd reconsider my medication, but I don't think that's a likely side effect.

I would absolutely not hold it against anyone for not wanting to use this. It's not a "cure" for an ailment. If it doesn't bother you to not have sexual desire, then the pill isn't for you.

Which brings me to the part I DO understand. I don't like how this is presented. I don't like that lack of desire is such a BAD THING in our culture. I CAN understand sexuals viewing asexuals as missing something. I get that. It's not normal the way they see it. I don't like that that view is repeatedly reinforced. It's the same with males. I'm not a fan of Viagra. Not because I think it's evil, but because it perpetuates an expectation that is not, actually, universally appreciated. (that said, it's about dang time women get their turn)

But...I don't think anyone's going to physically force these pills on anyone. Socially, things will get interesting. But heck, that was already going to happen, anyway. Look at us, getting all vocal ;-) Oh yes. Things will not be boring.

[SorryNotSorry]

IMO the underlying problem has to do with bad bonding more than with brain chemistry.

[WhenSummersGone]

All this pill would do is make me masturbate even more than I already do.

LOL! That statement is so funny because it's so true!

Haha thanks. :)

All this pill would do is make me masturbate even more than I already do.

Yup, this. Which is why the only pill I'd be interested in would be the one with the exact opposite effect. :lol:

Same with me lol. A pill that decreases my sexual desire to masturbate would be fantastic.

[divided_sky]

IMO the underlying problem has to do with bad bonding more than with brain chemistry.

Do you have anything to back that opinion up with?

Not trying to be an ass, but I'm curious how you came to that conclusion.