Sex Drive Pill - article in NYT

[gypsy_princess]

if a woman has lost her sex drive, but really wants to have sex with her partner, these pills could be of great help.

if a woman has lost her sex drive, and feels it as a natural thing, she deals with it (and maybe uses these pills occasionally).

if a woman has no sex drive because she's asexual, these pills are totally useless.

i agree with the top comment in the article, that now there's a pill for everything and we're losing our nature. but if someone can't accepts these lacks, a pill could be useful.

but... i can't understand why they should give asexuals these pills. if you're asexual and you don't have a partner to have sex with, it's useless! these pills are just for women who have sex regularly, i guess. an asexual doesn't have sex, and so does a person who is single by choice or other. there's no use.

[Vega91]

Not to start a Thing, but it sounds as if some of you are a little...well...paranoid. Do you really think someone is going to force you to take a sex drug? I mean, outside the criminal activity of someone forcing any drug on you, like a rapist. In which case it would more likely be something....else. I don't see that happening.

... (cut for space)

But...I don't think anyone's going to physically force these pills on anyone. Socially, things will get interesting. But heck, that was already going to happen, anyway. Look at us, getting all vocal ;-) Oh yes. Things will not be boring.

I think what most of us are saying is that this could just be used as another tool, kinda to say, "oh, you're not asexual, there's a pill for that!" Psychiatrists generally can't force anyone to take pills, maybe in cases of extreme psychosis or something (just a guess), but I think most people were saying the same thing as you. This article seems to present a disinterest in sex as abnormal, and something to be cured, and many are (rightly) afraid that doctors could start prescribing these sort of pills to aces.

It's not like they can shove the pills down your throat, but if/when these pills become more common, it would seem fairly easy for a sexual partner to pressure their ace partner into taking these pills. (That, or parents could pressure you to take them because they want to "fix" you).

But yeah, I still think these pills are fine if someone wants to use them, and feels that they need them. As long as asexuality is discussed as a viable option, especially for those who have not ever felt sexual attraction.

[GeminiJo]

I think what most of us are saying is that this could just be used as another tool, kinda to say, "oh, you're not asexual, there's a pill for that!" Psychiatrists generally can't force anyone to take pills, maybe in cases of extreme psychosis or something (just a guess), but I think most people were saying the same thing as you. This article seems to present a disinterest in sex as abnormal, and something to be cured, and many are (rightly) afraid that doctors could start prescribing these sort of pills to aces.

It's not like they can shove the pills down your throat, but if/when these pills become more common, it would seem fairly easy for a sexual partner to pressure their ace partner into taking these pills. (That, or parents could pressure you to take them because they want to "fix" you).

But yeah, I still think these pills are fine if someone wants to use them, and feels that they need them. As long as asexuality is discussed as a viable option, especially for those who have not ever felt sexual attraction.

Ah, that makes a lot more sense. Though, to be honest, I think we're already there. The pressure exists already - it's only a hop, skip, and a jump (if even that) from "You've just had bad sex", or "You haven't met the right guy/girl, yet" to these pills. To my mind, and this is just my opinion and individual observations, the difficulty we face in acceptance and understanding is already there. It may change faces, but the words don't really matter when the sentiment remains the same.

[Vega91]

I think what most of us are saying is that this could just be used as another tool, kinda to say, "oh, you're not asexual, there's a pill for that!" Psychiatrists generally can't force anyone to take pills, maybe in cases of extreme psychosis or something (just a guess), but I think most people were saying the same thing as you. This article seems to present a disinterest in sex as abnormal, and something to be cured, and many are (rightly) afraid that doctors could start prescribing these sort of pills to aces.

It's not like they can shove the pills down your throat, but if/when these pills become more common, it would seem fairly easy for a sexual partner to pressure their ace partner into taking these pills. (That, or parents could pressure you to take them because they want to "fix" you).

But yeah, I still think these pills are fine if someone wants to use them, and feels that they need them. As long as asexuality is discussed as a viable option, especially for those who have not ever felt sexual attraction.

Ah, that makes a lot more sense. Though, to be honest, I think we're already there. The pressure exists already - it's only a hop, skip, and a jump (if even that) from "You've just had bad sex", or "You haven't met the right guy/girl, yet" to these pills. To my mind, and this is just my opinion and individual observations, the difficulty we face in acceptance and understanding is already there. It may change faces, but the words don't really matter when the sentiment remains the same.

Yeah, you're right, aces do face a lot of pressure already. It just seems that a pill like this will seem like an easy cure to asexuality, at least to those who don't know anything about it. Because now that there is a pill, it will make diagnosing asexuality as a disease seem even more medically tested.

But the pressure's definitely already there, that's true.

[Lydian]

if a woman has lost her sex drive, but really wants to have sex with her partner, these pills could be of great help.

if a woman has lost her sex drive, and feels it as a natural thing, she deals with it (and maybe uses these pills occasionally).

if a woman has no sex drive because she's asexual, these pills are totally useless.

i agree with the top comment in the article, that now there's a pill for everything and we're losing our nature. but if someone can't accepts these lacks, a pill could be useful.

but... i can't understand why they should give asexuals these pills. if you're asexual and you don't have a partner to have sex with, it's useless! these pills are just for women who have sex regularly, i guess. an asexual doesn't have sex, and so does a person who is single by choice or other. there's no use.

Main part here being "An asexual doesn't have sex." You do realize there are a lot of asexuals who are in mixed relationships with sexual people and thus have sex, right?

[GeminiJo]

Yeah, you're right, aces do face a lot of pressure already. It just seems that a pill like this will seem like an easy cure to asexuality, at least to those who don't know anything about it. Because now that there is a pill, it will make diagnosing asexuality as a disease seem even more medically tested.

But the pressure's definitely already there, that's true.

Ah, the pill = cure = disease thing. Yeah, that's a Thing. I guess I'm so used to fighting that already (I'm ADD, which is classified a "disorder") that I mentally glossed right over it. Mozart would have been medicated right out of his genius. But that's a rant for another time.

I do understand that concern. It's a tough issue, for sure. I, personally, want the medicine to be there for the people who want it, and whose lives may be enriched by having it. But then society goes and tries to make things all black and white and...well. Nobody really wins.

But maybe this will open things up. Maybe (and this is my optimistic side) this will shed light on the topic of sexual desire and attraction to the point where we can have a more visible presence. No harm in hoping, right?

[Notte stellata]

but... i can't understand why they should give asexuals these pills. if you're asexual and you don't have a partner to have sex with, it's useless! these pills are just for women who have sex regularly, i guess. an asexual doesn't have sex, and so does a person who is single by choice or other. there's no use.

No one said asexuals should take the pills. Also as Lydian said, some asexuals do have sex with their sexual partner. If an asexual isn't repulsed by sex and is willing to increase their libido for the sake of their mixed relationship, I suppose the pills can be useful too.

Yes, the existence of sex drive pills may lead more people to believe lack of sexual desire is a disease that can be cured, but I don't think we should expect an article about sex drive pills to address asexuality. After all, it's just introducing the pill, and whether to take it is up to each individual. It's not necessarily related to asexuality. Maybe some sexuals don't want to take it anyway, and maybe some asexuals don't mind taking it.

But of course, asexual visibility is important. If most people knew what asexuality is, we wouldn't worry about how sex drive pills might reinforce people's misconception about asexuality anyway. I just don't expect an article about sex drive pills to do the visibility work for us.

[Lydian]

but... i can't understand why they should give asexuals these pills. if you're asexual and you don't have a partner to have sex with, it's useless! these pills are just for women who have sex regularly, i guess. an asexual doesn't have sex, and so does a person who is single by choice or other. there's no use.

No one said asexuals should take the pills. Also as Lydian said, some asexuals do have sex with their sexual partner. If an asexual isn't repulsed by sex and is willing to increase their libido for the sake of their mixed relationship, I suppose the pills can be useful too.

Yes, the existence of sex drive pills may lead more people to believe lack of sexual desire is a disease that can be cured, but I don't think we should expect an article about sex drive pills to address asexuality. After all, it's just introducing the pill, and whether to take it is up to each individual. It's not necessarily related to asexuality. Maybe some sexuals don't want to take it anyway, and maybe some asexuals don't mind taking it.

But of course, asexual visibility is important. If most people knew what asexuality is, we wouldn't worry about how sex drive pills might reinforce people's misconception about asexuality anyway. I just don't expect an article about sex drive pills to do the visibility work for us.

I just hope in the setting of a mixed relationship, it's not assumed increasing libido would make the person enjoy it more or become 'less asexual' so to speak. I know my partner brought it up once and I flat out told him no. It was a bit of a miscommunication in which he assumed taking the pill = craving sex = making me enjoy sex. Even though we've yet to confirm how I actually feel about it, if it turns out I don't like it, taking the pill wouldn't change that, it would just force me to deal with a libido in a way that I would continue to dislike/feel neutral about. It wouldn't change my actual feelings towards sex. If my lack of the libido was my only problem sure, but obviously it goes a lot farther than that.

[Tullio]

I'm a bit late to this discussion, but I think I have something to add. When I read this article (I think it was in the NYTimes magazine, don't remember though), I was totally taken aback- I have been a long time NYTimes reader, and while they don't mind publishing a controversial editorial, their journalistic stuff is usually well written: I could not believe this made it past the editor. E.g. where's the commentary on this gem:

When Tuiten, a disheveled, youthful 58-year-old, told me the story of how he conceived of Lybrido and Lybridos, there was something sad and funny and metaphorically perfect about it — it was a tale of scientific ingenuity stemming from a young man’s broken heart. Tuiten was in his mid-20s when his girlfriend, a woman he’d been in love with since he was 13, abruptly decided to leave him. “I was — flabbergasted. You can say that?” he asked me, making sure, in his choppy English, that he was using the right word. “I was shocked. I was suffering.” He was an older university student at the time; before that, he’d been a furniture maker. The breakup inspired a lifelong quest to comprehend female emotion through biochemistry and led to his career as a psychopharmacologist. “I’m a little bit — not insane,” Tuiten said. “But. There became a need for me to understand my personal life in this way.”

Doesn't that warrant some further investigation, or does a scientific title just absolve people of suspicion.

I guess perhaps it's what separates this kind of journalism from that of certain better publications: they are happy to report something like this, but they can't see what could be the deeper story here. What ulterior motivations are driving the development of drugs like this, who defines what "normal" sexuality is, why should science and especially psychology which have often failed to remain detached from social pressures, be trusted to define it. The article says nothing.

[ShockTrance]

I have mixed feelings about this. I'm glad that a solution has been provided for couples seeking to re-ignite the sexual aspect of their relationship. While I can't say that I know how they feel, I can imagine that it'd be exceptionally frustrating and stressful, and thus I'm happy that a potential solution for them has arisen.

At the same time, I'm concerned that, as has been stated above, this will trivialize or even misrepresent asexuality as being something that can be -- or, Astaroth forbid, should be -- fixed through medication. Moreover, I'm concerned that asexuals in mixed relationships or with non-understanding families will be pressured into taking this medication as a means of "fixing" their asexuality. A clear distinction needs to be made to the public at large between being sexual with a declining or low libido and being asexual, otherwise things could get particularly uncomfortable for asexuals in the near future. Granted, I don't think that we're going to have pills shoved down our throats or anything that extreme, but the pressure to conform to the expectations of "normal" sexuality will increase without a doubt.

What concerns me most of all, however, is the notion that these pills could be retooled into something that could be slipped into a woman's drink to make her more "receptive" to sexual advances. I don't know enough about chemistry or neurobiology to say if a drug such as this could be converted into such a form, but I know for certain that, should it be possible, an unscrupulous chemist looking to make money will make it happen.

[crescens]

It's good for the women that want it, so that part of it makes me happy for women, they have a right to that. There are people who want sex but don't have the libido because of medication side effects, changes in hormones, mood, stress, whatever. I think a lot of partners also fall into what I heard called "roommate syndrome", where the problem is more in the relationship itself that leads to the flame going kaput.

I can't tell you how many meds I've been on that had knocked my libido through the roof as a side effect. But it didn't change the fact I wasn't attracted to anyone, and anytime I did try to think of anyone when I had to masturbate more, it "killed the moment" so to speak. Even when I was in a relationship with a sexual and we tried to take advantage of it when meds would do that to me, trying to have sex would totally kill any arousal. I still didn't want sex. It'd be like having an aroused heterosexual woman in a room with a lesbian, the lesbian may be willing to have sex but the heterosexual woman still wouldn't want to. I wouldn't take this pill though though... in the past, anything I took to manage chronic pain that affects dopamine and/or seratonin (as this drug evidently does) always made me depressed.

Asexual women may get more aroused when taking this, but it wouldn't change the desire to have sex with anyone, although it might make it easier if she's willing to in a relationship with a sexual. And that just boils down to the person. Unforunately, an unknowing asexual may think they would want sex if they were more aroused and didn't understand the different types of attraction. I think this is why it's important for asexuality awareness to increase. That way, women who are presented with the option of this pill can make the right decision for themselves... is it because of who I am innately, or was I attracted to folks before and my libido just fizzled out? Or if they knew they wanted to have sex in the first place, but maybe just didn't have the drive.

What concerns me most of all, however, is the notion that these pills could be retooled into something that could be slipped into a woman's drink to make her more "receptive" to sexual advances. I don't know enough about chemistry or neurobiology to say if a drug such as this could be converted into such a form, but I know for certain that, should it be possible, an unscrupulous chemist looking to make money will make it happen.

Aye. I don't know enough either, but I suppose if it's a tablet or something that can be crushed into a powder, it could be, and maybe be concentrated into a more potent dose. Would certainly be safer for someone to get caught with, rather than something like GHB, so there could be some room for people to exploit using it in that way.

[Someone Else]

There are multiple reasons for why someone might have a lack of a sex drive, some of them medical, some of them an orientation. I seriously doubt that there is a "cure" or a pill that will change a person's orientation, no matter what it is. I know as a straight guy, I don't believe there's ever going to be a pill that will make me lust after big hairy guys. As such, if one's lack of a sex drive is an orientation, I doubt a pill can affect it, short of absolutely drugging and wiping out a person's entire sentience, beyond drunkenness.

[divided_sky]

What concerns me most of all, however, is the notion that these pills could be retooled into something that could be slipped into a woman's drink to make her more "receptive" to sexual advances. I don't know enough about chemistry or neurobiology to say if a drug such as this could be converted into such a form, but I know for certain that, should it be possible, an unscrupulous chemist looking to make money will make it happen.

You're really reaching there. There is a list a mile long of legitimate medications that can be used and abused for all sorts of horrible reasons. I don't see why that matters. People will always be there to do unscrupulous things to one another, it shouldn't prevent the rest of the population from access to potentially helpful medication.