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How do you 'come out' as Asexual?


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#1 Coop

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 09:19 PM

Just figuring out that I am asexual, wondering how I should let my friends and family know. 



#2 br0wneyed-babe

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 09:40 PM

I haven't told my family. They're pretty anti-LGBT to begin with, so they'll probably just say "asexuality doesn't exist, you need to meet the right person." I've been telling my mom that sex bores me since I was 16, and she's been saying the same thing for the past four years. 

 

I probably will just publicly post it on Facebook on National Coming Out Day (sometime in October) just to get it over with. My friends don't know either!



#3 Germanicus

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 09:48 PM

I just told them straight out one day. No fanfare. I just said "I want to tell you something, I've felt for a while that I'm asexual." It doesn't work for everyone, but you can come out in a variety of ways and it doesn't need to be complicated.



#4 John Dee

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 09:55 PM

Could you tell us more about your family and friends, and whether you have any disorders? My OCD, Nervous disorders, and introversion made it a complicated scenario to say the least, as well as hostile parents and a depression, and the fact that I was actually told by a psychologist, not discovered it myself. I've made a topic of it in Tea and Sympathy.


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#5 NamTar

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 10:14 PM

I just let most of them guess. I'm also aromantic, so I think my disinterest in relationships of any sort should be quite obvious to anyone. If they ask, I tell them. Otherwise, I don't, because I get sick of the idea that I just need to "meet the right person" and the assumption I'm a closeted homosexual or too shy to meet someone or whatever.



#6 illGatsby

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 10:24 PM

Oh, and here's some  :cake:



#7 Coop

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 10:25 PM

Could you tell us more about your family and friends, and whether you have any disorders? My OCD, Nervous disorders, and introversion made it a complicated scenario to say the least, as well as hostile parents and a depression, and the fact that I was actually told by a psychologist, not discovered it myself. I've made a topic of it in Tea and Sympathy.

I have supportive parents, although I'm not sure they are fully aware of the LGBT(etc) community. I have Non Verbal Learning Disorder, as well as some anxiety issues. My friends are not supportive, and I feel as though I'd be mocked by them if I came out. I'll check out your topic, thank you for replying. 



#8 Law of Circles

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 10:36 PM

I don't make an effort to "come out" specifically, but I am willing to talk about it if it comes up in conversation, provided I know the person to some degree first. Sometimes I don't outright say I'm asexual and instead imply it by saying things like "I'm not attracted to people that way." If the other person seems interested in talking about it more, then I do. A lot of the time, though, the conversation simply moves on from there.


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With limitless shapes and countless forms
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Every manifestation, I'm gonna celebrate it

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#9 raventhatrefusedtosing

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 11:03 PM

Nice, a profile pic of Moz.  Good luck coming out.



#10 Coop

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Posted 09 May 2013 - 11:40 PM

Nice, a profile pic of Moz.  Good luck coming out.

Cheers mate, I appreciate it.



#11 .Lia

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Posted 10 May 2013 - 04:24 AM

If you feel that "coming out" would only cause you stress or grief, then I don't see the point in doing it. I don't think that "coming out" should be a negative experience, and I also don't think that "friends" should be anything but supportive towards another friend for anything (unless said friend is doing something stupid and illegal). 


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Have you ever wanted to tell someone how much you appreciate them,
but realized that cake doesn't have ears?
I may not be the most beautiful, or the sexiest, nor do I have the perfect body.
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of some of the things I've done in my past, but I’m proud of who I am today. nobody is
perfect, but that’s what makes everything interesting.


#12 kaykwitch

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Posted 10 May 2013 - 04:47 AM

I've only come out to one of my friends and only plan  on coming out to two more (at least in the foreseeable future). The friends I am choosing to come out to are the ones with whom I talk about everything and I think it's important for them to know (because it will explain a lot in our conversations about boys). I personally recommend not coming out to people who you know won't be supportive. I especially think this is true for het-roms (as your profile indicates you are). Haters don't need to know what goes on (or doesn't) in your bedroom.



#13 `Silver

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Posted 10 May 2013 - 10:21 AM

The actual question is, do you want to come out? If yes, then by all means do it, and many people (including myself) could give advice on that. If you don't, then don't come out. There's always time to start letting other people know about your sexuality, so you don't need to rush things if you still feel uncomfortable with it.


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#14 Dara_Effe'

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 06:37 AM

I tend to believe my sexuality is my own business.  My mom does not want to know about it as I do not want or need to know about hers.  If I become involved with someone, I am sure she will realize that I like women.  What we do behind closed doors is none of her, my brother, my aunt, uncle, cousin, etc... business.  I just do not understand why people feel that this is something they need to share with everyone.  I believe that is why these places are here.  So if we need to share, we can do it with people of like mind and experience.  I don't see what good it would do to tell my parents, except to give them information they can do absolutely nothing with.  Just a little bit of a rantette there.  Sorry if it offended, just my personal opinion. 


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