I'm asexual. >_<
Whew, that took a while the really type out. I'm a little nervous, but hopefully I'll make some like minded friends here.
Here's how I found myself here, for those interested:
I just recently began questioning my sexuality after I acquired a boyfriend. I thought he was cute and funny, but I didn't want to kiss him or do any physical things past holding hands. He broke up with me within a month. I felt terrible, but also super relieved. Like, I didn't have to worry about kissing him anymore and I didn't have the scary inevitability of sex over my head.
I never really questioned my straightness before that. Like, I find guys nice looking, I just don't really want to bang them. I thought that was pretty normal. But what scared me was that even when I had a connection with my then bf, I just didn't want anything physical. I thought that I would get the sexual attraction after the emotional connection, but it just was not happening.
So I thought maybe I was gay? Girls are super pretty to look at after all. Truthfully though, I didn't feel any sexual attraction towards anyone. I was super confused and depressed. I kept thinking that I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be sexually attracted to somebody! I vaguely knew what asexual was, but it seemed too scary.
Recently, I found myself looking into asexuality more, and I'm beginning to embrace my asexuality. It just feels good to know I'm not the only one like this.
Sorry for the essay. I'll be super impressed if anyone reads it all.