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Hello, my name is Allie and

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#1 AllieLeanza



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Posted 30 April 2013 - 03:32 AM

I'm asexual. >_<

Whew, that took a while the really type out.  :wacko: I'm a little nervous, but hopefully I'll make some like minded friends here.


Here's how I found myself here, for those interested:

I just recently began questioning my sexuality after I acquired a boyfriend. I thought he was cute and funny, but I didn't want to kiss him or do any physical things past holding hands. He broke up with me within a month. I felt terrible, but also super relieved. Like, I didn't have to worry about kissing him anymore and I didn't have the scary inevitability of sex over my head.

I never really questioned my straightness before that. Like, I find guys nice looking, I just don't really want to bang them. I thought that was pretty normal. But what scared me was that even when I had a connection with my then bf, I just didn't want anything physical. I thought that I would get the sexual attraction after the emotional connection, but it just was not happening.

So I thought maybe I was gay? Girls are super pretty to look at after all. Truthfully though, I didn't feel any sexual attraction towards anyone. I was super confused and depressed. I kept thinking that I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be sexually attracted to somebody! I vaguely knew what asexual was, but it seemed too scary.


Recently, I found myself looking into asexuality more, and I'm beginning to embrace my asexuality. It just feels good to know I'm not the only one like this.


Sorry for the essay. I'll be super impressed if anyone reads it all.

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#2 Lady Girl

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Posted 30 April 2013 - 03:49 AM

Hi and welcome!!! Your intro was not too essay ish at all...it was just right. I think you will like it here, there are definitely people who feel as you do and just really would rather not do the sex thing (others will for a partner, or to have a baby, or other external desires, but yeah, it's not connected to sexual attraction). So we welcome people with cake and I think it's time for that now! :) This cake is really fancy...



Not all asexuals define asexuality in terms of sexual attraction. Some just do not desire sexual interaction.

"...research on self-identified asexuals...shows that they do not necessarily have a lower desire for sexual activity, 

but they clearly have a lower desire for sexual activity with others..." Anthony Bogaert


About Asexuality General FAQ     The AVEN Terms of Service (ToS)     Project Team's Guide to the Site

#3 RosettaAce


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Posted 30 April 2013 - 04:29 AM

Hi Allie! Welcome, your post wasn't essayish or too long or anything. I'm sorry you had such a hard time with your boyfriend, but I am glad you found your way to Aven. I knew about asexuality a couple of years before I embraced it, I felt like you did - it was scary and asexuals are only 1% of the population... could I really fit into that 1%? Aven has been awesome, the people are fantastic!




Sorry to copy you Lady Girl, I just wanted to look for fancy cakes... and this one has a starfish!

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"Sex is a joke in heaven?"
"The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too." Dogma, Kevin Smith


"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." Buddha


“The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.” Christopher Moore, Practical Demonkeeping.

#4 Arctic_Revenge


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Posted 30 April 2013 - 04:50 AM

Welcome to AVEN! Glad to see you type it out! Must feel pretty good, ya? :D

Have some cake!! :cake:



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Feel free to ignore anything that comes out of my big, fat mouth.


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#5 enjolras


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Posted 30 April 2013 - 05:45 AM

Hi! Welcome!  :cake:  :cake:  :cake:

A small library in Phoenix ceases to exist.

#6 Renly


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Posted 30 April 2013 - 07:19 AM


Chaos is a ladder. 
Many who try to climb it fail, never to try again. 
The fall breaks them. 

Some are given the chance to climb, 
but they refuse.
They cling to the realm, or the gods, 
or love. 

Only the ladder is real.
The climb is all there is. 


#7 desmanthus



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Posted 30 April 2013 - 02:07 PM

Welcome! :)

(wow your post could almost have been written by me...)

You really didn't type that much compared to a lot of people... I guess because for many, it's their first time talking about their asexuality to other people? So they have a lot bottled up that they want to say :P

#8 AllieLeanza



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Posted 30 April 2013 - 02:27 PM

So much cake!  :o

Thank you for the welcomes. 

I guess I didn't write as much as I thought.  :redface: I'm a little shy so it felt like I wrote a ton.

#9 runester



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Posted 01 May 2013 - 02:27 AM

Please save room for another piece of 'traditional cake'.


Welcome to AVEN! :cake:  :)

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