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Disturbed by Knowing People Fantasize About You


I Shot the Serif

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I Shot the Serif

I can't be the only one. Being informed that someone fantasizes about me and used to try to look down my shirt... I mean, I know it's a human thing. And I sense I might be less disturbed if I could return it. :P

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

You are not the only one! I get creeped out as hell when I find out someone finds me sexually attractive. Well, with the exception of a non-asexual woman I was in a relationship with. But if I find out someone I have no romantic interest is sexually attracted to me...*grossed-out-flailing* The worst thing is cishet guys looking at me like I'm a choice cut of meat. Ack ack ack.

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I Shot the Serif

(Possibly I should have called this thread "Disturbed By Knowing People Find You Sexually Attractive.")

And my person I am romantically attracted to, I just- I don't know. :P

(Yeah, I suppose that would be worse if I wasn't.)

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Lots of people get creeped out when they're the object of someone's sexual fantasy regardless of if they're sexual or not. It's just...creepy. I don't like it when someone finds me sexually attractive and tells me about it. It's just weird.

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Yeah, really creeps me out. I dress like a nun in order to discourage it. Doesn't work nearly as well as it should, to be honest.

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Qutenkuddly

(Possibly I should have called this thread "Disturbed By Knowing People Find You Sexually Attractive.")

You want that I change the title for you?

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I hope, "pray," wish, and desire feverishly that people just keep those kinds of thoughts to themselves, if they MUST have them, but really, I wish such thoughts would never ever involve me in any freaking way. Yet, saying that, I feel bad because then it would mean the thoughts would be turned to someone else which isn't quite fair either.

Re-statement: I wish that people who fantasize about other people in sexual ways would keep those thoughts restricted to people who actually want that kind of attention.

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Mostly Peaceful Ryan

I am not creeped out by people fantasizing about me.... but honestly I think there are better guys to fantasize about, I would question their taste, it seems like they have have poor taste in men if I was their fantasy. :LOL:

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As for me, why and why should I give a shit if they don't do anything about it? If you fantasize about me, I can't stop you from it. If you don't, that's fine too.

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I was more tolerant of it when it was about my former partner. If a random stranger or a friend were to fantasise about me, I'd feel terribly awkward. Especially in the friend's case.

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WhenSummersGone

I think as long as I don't know or feel pressured to have sex with someone then I'm fine with it. I usually don't think about this really so thank god lol.

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I Shot the Serif

I find it flattering.

I think I did too, the first time.

(Possibly I should have called this thread "Disturbed By Knowing People Find You Sexually Attractive.")

You want that I change the title for you?

Hrm... I let you decide.

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Oh, I don't think I ever thought about the possibility of others fantasising about me. I dunno, I guess I don't really mind. It's not like fantasies hurt anyone... just keep it to yourself, please.

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ArtemisLiCa

I have to agree it's more the sharing the fact they fantasized about me than the actual fantasizing. Then again, after working nights at a convience store, mostly on weekends, I've gotten desensitized to a lot of sexual things.

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alpacaterpillar

I'm fine with the idea of people fantasising about me, including gay men. People can think whatever they like. But telling the... fantasisee about the fantasies is, well, unnecessary, and just makes things uncomfortable and awkward. I fantasise about girls I know, or have seen... actually, I fantasise about their clothes.

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SquirrelCat

I find it slightly flattering and slightly creepy... I don't feel comfortable knowing someone is (excuse the language) jacking off to my image but at the same time I feel; 'meeh, live and let live.'

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If someone is romantically attracted to me, I'll get pretty flattered. :P

Sexually, I just don't know. I mean, even if someone did (which is highly unlikely), I have no idea how I'll react then.

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It's just that any relationships I've had with guy friends got ruined the minute they started fantasizing about me, because they thought the relationship could go deeper and I just couldn't do it and then they would get upset and drift away because they thought I didn't like them. I did, but you know, as a friend. That and when I'm out and there's a guy who is clearly leering at me it just looks so gross. Control yourself, dude.

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It's just that any relationships I've had with guy friends got ruined the minute they started fantasizing about me, because they thought the relationship could go deeper and I just couldn't do it and then they would get upset and drift away because they thought I didn't like them. I did, but you know, as a friend. That and when I'm out and there's a guy who is clearly leering at me it just looks so gross. Control yourself, dude.

My ex and I were the same way. I did have sex with him, but it was because he wanted it and he thought it "bonded" us or whatever. (I disagreed because it was forcing me to do something I didn't want to do.) He thought that it was some sort of intimate thing that was the glue to any relationship. It bugged me. I'm fine with romantic feelings. I just wasn't comfortable with the sexual ones because, with him, it meant I had to put out or that I didn't love him.

But...leering is gross. My mom is great, though. If guys leered at me she'd pipe up and tell them to knock it off. When I was 12, I was tall and my body was blossoming so I didn't look like the average 12 year old. My mom embarrassed the hell out of some old man by shouting "she's only 12!" It was pretty awesome.

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The Great WTF

I've fantasized about doing violent/painful/horrific things to people in my life and I feel like I'd be a massive hypocrite if I got upset about people using me in their sexual fantasies. I can't guarantee I won't get upset or possibly do something mean or violent if someone starts giving me details of their fantasies, I certainly wouldn't be sharing my mental desire to stab them in the eye with a ballpoint pen, but in the long run it doesn't ruffle my feathers much.

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5_♦♣

I seriously doubt anyone fantasizes about having sex with me. And even if they did, as long as they didn't pressure me to have sex them, why would I care?

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Technically, as long as I'm not forced to do anything, it should be okay but I'm still creeped out by it. I really don't want to be the object of someone's sexual fantasies. But like some people said, the telling is the worst part, because otherwise I can ignore it and pretend it doesn't happen.

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Edit: I'm talking about sexual attraction/fantasies only. Romantic feelings don't provoke the same reaction, although they do make me feel a little... I dunno, weirded out and self-conscious, I guess? (Though still flattering if the feelings are mutual.)

That's interesting. I normally don't feel very bothered by other people having feelings for me if:

~ I reciprocate them (I get really freaking awkward in the beginning because I'm terribly shy romantically speaking, but I will eventually get used to it and work towards trying to make something work between us)

~ I don't reciprocate but we're good friends and I know they respect the fact that I don't want to be with them

~ They're just some random stranger that happened to feel romantically attracted to me without knowing me (the "how" part of it transcends my human understanding, but whatever)

I do feel awkward if those feelings come from a persistent person I know. Like, I got hit on by a really annoying person a little over a year ago that wouldn't get their mind off me for the life of me, even after having been rejected twice and being told FROM THE FIRST TIME that I liked someone else and I wanted to see how it would work. Cheers, thanks for understanding. <_<

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I try to find it flattering. The only time I've had a major problem with it was when a friend told me exactly which facebook picture he'd been using as "inspiration". it just creeped me out too much. Essentially, I don't mind, but I don't want to know about it. on the flip side, I have a friend who has told me outright that he will never ever fantasize about me, because of my asexuality. I find something not quite right about that, too.

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There was a whole incident a few years ago because a guy (with good intentions) told a friend what he thought of me often and eventually word got to me.

I'd like to say I would handle it better now, but it's still unsettling to think of. Fortunately no one has recently shown interest in me.

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I try to find it flattering. The only time I've had a major problem with it was when a friend told me exactly which facebook picture he'd been using as "inspiration". it just creeped me out too much. Essentially, I don't mind, but I don't want to know about it. on the flip side, I have a friend who has told me outright that he will never ever fantasize about me, because of my asexuality. I find something not quite right about that, too.

Oh yeah, that'll definitely be TMI. :wacko:

Be glad no one does that to me.

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I don't mind it, and because I'm narrcissisticly dammaged, I often use people's attraction against them, or manipulate them to procure things I need.

As for my attempted "real" friendships, it does botter me a little when people admit to having a crush on me/ desiring no strings attracted sex from me. When sexual attraction is an added ellement to relationships I allready find rewarding on a platonic level, its just an added level of drama and complication.

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So this actually is an interesting thread for me. Being sexual, I often fantasize about my SO, who is ace.
To fantasize about anyone else seems wrong, but at the same time it feels wrong to fantasize about doing something she obviously wouldn't like to do.

Obviously she knows that I feel sexual towards her (though I have become quite adept at never acting on that desire), but I don't know if she knows that I fantasize about her, and I don't know if she'd want to know.

From this thread, I gather that she probably wouldn't like to know. So thanks.

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