I am Sherlocked Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 I can relate to that. I remember some situations in which supposedly someone flirted with me. Then, I did not realise at all, I only know because I was told by another person. I myself didn't notice anything, but it seemed to be obvious for most of the other persons around. As well, I have had occurences the opposite way. People told me to stop flirting while I personally didn't intend to, but they seemed to be quite sure about it. Yeah, I'm often playfully slapped on my shoulder by my co-workers who then say. "Omg, stop flirting" Or they throw me winky faces after helping what you would consider an attractive man. I just shake my head and deny everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Akabara86 Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 I'm in the same boat. No clue, usually until it's too late. Wish I could offer some insight. Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 I used to be really oblivious to when others were showing interest/trying to flirt with me, but have gotten better at detecting it. If I do get the feeling they're showing any interest in me as a female I act more non-feminine and show more aggression to try to lessen them from thinking that. Seems to work pretty well as I'm pretty tomboy anyway. Most guys don't seem interested in that. lol Link to post Share on other sites
you*hear*but*do*you*listen Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 The only time I was able to detect flirting was when someone told me in an IM that he wanted to massage my butt and thighs. Which for some reason I don't want to call "flirting" because I don't think "flirting" should be that creepazoid.Seriously, you look up "flirting" in my mental dictionary and there's a giant tie-dyed glittering question mark. Someone flirting with me might as well be trying to communicate by using the WWII German Enigma code to spell words in Sumerian. Link to post Share on other sites
Squick Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 There are a lot of websites about how to tell if someone's flirting, so for what it's worth, it's not an exclusively asexual issue. I think it's much easier to see as a third party than when you're involved in it--you've basically got a vested interest in the answer, as well as an ego. Link to post Share on other sites
divided_sky Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 I used to be really oblivious to when others were showing interest/trying to flirt with me, but have gotten better at detecting it. If I do get the feeling they're showing any interest in me as a female I act more non-feminine and show more aggression to try to lessen them from thinking that. Seems to work pretty well as I'm pretty tomboy anyway. Most guys don't seem interested in that. lol Tomboys I'm not sure if I'm unable to detect flirting, or my self esteem is so shot that I'd just assume that whatever weird behavior the girl is displaying towards me, it certainly can't be flirting. Either way, I prefer people to be very direct about that sort of thing, and will probably be annoyed if I think she is flirting with me. Link to post Share on other sites
supersprite42 Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 I am so completely oblivious to flirting that I spent an entire 3 day out trip at camp flirting with this one guy and didn't know about it until I got back to actual camp and my cabin mates physically told me "Yeah, you're interested in that guy and he's completely interested in you - c'mon, you flirted with him the WHOLE TRIP!" I honestly thought we were just having an awesome conversation about Veggie Tales and books and movies and music and stuff... Maybe we were, and they were just being super girly teenage girls. I am just that clueless. Anyways, I turned beet red and couldn't talk to the guy again for the remainder of camp. =P If I WAS able to figure out when I was being flirted with, I would probably hide forever. It feels like I'm being mocked otherwise, at least when there's obviously sexual whatever involved. Besides, when have pick up lines EVER worked??? :P Link to post Share on other sites
alpacaterpillar Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 Reading some of these, I'm beginning to wonder if simply talking to a member of the opposite sex = flirting. I remember once at school my (female) cousin passed by and said "hi" to me and I said "hi" back. One of my friends who noticed raised an eyebrow and said "is she your...?" I quickly said "cousin". He immediately understood, thank goodness. I wonder what he would have thought if I said "friend" or something. Link to post Share on other sites
lapislazuli Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Reading some of these, I'm beginning to wonder if simply talking to a member of the opposite sex = flirting. I remember once at school my (female) cousin passed by and said "hi" to me and I said "hi" back. One of my friends who noticed raised an eyebrow and said "is she your...?" I quickly said "cousin". He immediately understood, thank goodness. I wonder what he would have thought if I said "friend" or something. Lol I know what you mean!! I will joke with male friends same as I do female friends, but then gets told that I'm flirting with them by my girlfriends because of course platonic relationship with a guy is impossible... (or in this case, general, non intent conversation is also impossible). This becomes tricky in social occasions when male friends shows up with their girlfriends. I worry that if I act too friendly with them it might look bad. But yeah I absolutely can't tell when people flirt with me, I remember in Uni once a girlfriend ask why I "reject" this guy because I didn't progress with his "obvious" flirtations and I was like "huh we were just talking!" Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 I usually can't tell if people are flirting with me or just being nice/polite. I can tell when I am, or when I'm trying to, but I can't tell if they are. For me when I try to flirt I become kinda stupid or I start to blush. I usually can't think of much to say when I like someone and I get nervous. Link to post Share on other sites
alpacaterpillar Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Sudden realisation: now I come to think of it, I think one of the main reasons I can't approach girls (even ones I know somewhat) is that I worry they or others will think I'm flirting. Even if it's a girl I like, and what I'll be saying to her I assume will count as flirting. Once again, I have succeeded in confusing myself and finding out more about myself at the same time... Link to post Share on other sites
John.G Posted April 27, 2013 Share Posted April 27, 2013 Hey, I have the same problem! It seems that when sex is not on your mind it's kind of hard to imagine it being on anyone else's but. . Here's what I do to counter this problem. Just act INCREDIBLY niave on the subject, if you believe the person is flirting with you; act as if you don't know or can't tell. . Usually people will either stop flirting or just tell you straight out. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Anhamirak Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 Flirting-oblivious peoples of the world, unite! Seriously, it's like listening to myself and I love it (in a non-narcissistic way, I promise). Part of my problem, I think, is that my family members all interact with each other in a very playful, teasing manner. So in my mind, that's just how a person behaves around people they don't dislike. Unfortunately, it seems like the rest of the world interprets that as flirting, which leaves me wondering: how exactly are you supposed to interact with others in a way that is friendly without it being interpreted as flirtatious? Link to post Share on other sites
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