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Scared; Enraged; Confused... Tumblr


OnEdgeDemi

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My nerves are soooo frayed!

Yesterday I was on Tumblr because it was a safespace for people like me, a Demi, and then I saw this post…I don’t want to show my stupid, but I will.

I am not a mean person but I wanted to kill the OP of that post so damn much. I never felt so much anger before until then! I wanted to disprove him but I found the forum he was talking about. I found the posts in the screenies and I don’t know what to think anymore. Demisexuality was created by this vile and wicked girl but it fits me so why can’t I use it!? And I don’t want to post the information about the guy I found on the forum, even though it’s old.

What do I do? I wanted to cut again but I know it’s bad and decided against it, but I am shaking and haven’t been able to sleep or eat! I know the forum does exist and I don’t want to post it because that will even prove him more right but there is information there on where he might live but there is also information on other people there!

What do I do?

Do I just ignore it and live with the fact that some horny girl made it for a role playing forum?
Do I accept it but move on knowing that it created something wonderful for this world!?

WHAT DO I DO!?

I am so scared of what this can do… I mean, the truth is not always the best thing to do! What can I… what can we do about this menace?!

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sound_the_bugle

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm going to be frank and blunt here:

It doesn't matter how the term began. It fits you. It fits me. It fits many other people on this site. Does it matter how it began? Does it matter if some child created it or if some professor did? No. Don't let something as insignificant as this color your perceptions of yourself and try not to let it affect your emotions. Definitely don't let it make you cut again. It's a real thing, even if a girl on the internet created the name and abused it. She didn't make you feel the way you do about yourself, other people, and sex.

Besides that, how do we know she was as vile and awful as the author of that post described her? He sounds like a complete ass, if I may say so. He has no compassion for this girl or anyone else, and claims to be the start of the 'demisexual fiasco' as he calls it. Arrogant bastard.

Please don't let yourself get so upset over this. Calm down, take a step back, and realize that it doesn't matter where the word originated. If the currently accepted definition describes you, then it does. I don't know about you, but I described my sexuality by defining demisexuality for several years before finding the word and going "OH! Thank you, world. Now I can just say one word for it."

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The Pofessional

Yeah. Quite a few people are going off at this person in the comments. I wouldn't be too too concerned about it. In the end, its just vitriol.

EDIT:

This person is quite the absolutist. If you look at their sidebar description, it just screams "I am right about everything, everyone else is wrong".

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Arctic_Revenge

First of all, breathe. Seriously, take a step back, take a deep breath and don't let the chaotic emotions overwhelm you.

And let's get one thing perfectly straight: He is not an authority on anything. He is a random guy with a poor attitude and no knowledge or power over YOUR life.

If you are demi-sexual, then that's what you are. Don't let some random ass undermine your sense of self or make you want to hurt yourself.

Even if demi-sexual started off that way, guess what? It's a real thing now. It's as real as anything else and many people describe themselves as such.

The best thing you can do? Prove that demi-sexual isn't what it started as by being yourself and not letting any nay-sayers under your skin.

All you need to do is relax and not let them have any power over you or any other demi-sexuals.

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Member54880

Demisexuality has always been around, it just hasn't been named until recently. Those are some unfortunate origins on how it originally got its name, but nowadays, the demisexual label divorced from its origins, so I wouldn't worry about that. It's awful there's still so much flack, particularly the idea that demisexual = slut-shaming. Ugh. I've browsed the #demisexuality and #demisexual tags, and can't recommend it for you. :(

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The Pofessional

Also, the deeper I get into their blog, the more evident it is that they are simply trolling.

Just a troll, guys! Now, let's go back to cat videos and other happier things.

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Batman's Ace

Please don't feed the [word removed]s.

This person is being a complete jerk. (Screenshots? Seriously? Nothing better to do than whine about someone from a forum that's not active anymore?) Also, illogical. No one person can "start" or "create" a sexuality. It's not like someone invented homosexuality. Someone had to come up with the word at some point, but the meaning it currently has was there before the word came along. And there's no rule a word has to stick to its original meaning or purpose. Besides, even if some girl used the word on some RP, that doesn't mean she actually invented it.

Please don't let them get to you. They're using the internet to be an [word removed] and get away with it. :cake:

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Janus the Fox

Tumblr is by no means a safe place, I've seen that post and saw other communities actually agreeing with it. What you could only do is just ignore the user, block the post and in the end of the day, the Internet is not real life. Believe in yourself more and don't seek approval from another, believe in what you believe in, really don't take anyone's word for it but your own.

Origins of many words evolve in meaning over time, the origins perhaps have gone further back which perhaps ment something else. It's sad posts like that can get people to react so badly, well you're in a safe place now which I do hope to feel things improve :cake:

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Agreed about the origin, and I find it weird that the people who did bring up the fact that the origin came from other places weren't mentioned either. It was just LULZ 15 YEAR OLD GIRL. Not cool.

Cutting is not the answer, just know that sometimes people are...well, jerks. I've seen some people agree with this person but I've also seen people stand up for demisexuals outside of AVEN.

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Ripjawwolffang

Is there any real evidence to what he claims anyway? Like REALy? He sounds like a troll who wants to think he is better then he really is to me...

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Great Thief Yatagarasu

Honestly, I think the whole thing's bullshit - for all we know, this girl could have heard the term from elsewhere - but even if it is true, do we care? It's still a word that actually describes the sexualities of many people. Why care where it came from?

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The Pofessional

Honestly, I think the whole thing's bullshit - for all we know, this girl could have heard the term from elsewhere - but even if it is true, do we care? It's still a word that actually describes the sexualities of many people. Why care where it came from?

Because some people just need to be RIGHT. About EVERYTHING. All the TIME! Don't you understand?!

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WoodwindWhistler

Man, this really makes me want to crawl in a hole and never come out, too.

( I could live in a burrow with my rabbits. I'm not only a crazy cat lady, I'm a crazy bunny lady)

But look at some of the responses:

"look again.The first mentions of asexuality were actually done in 1977 (Asexual and Autoerotic Women: Two Invisible Groups, by Myra T. Johnson)and 1980(study published in 1979 in Advances in the Study of Affect vol. 5 and in another article using the same data published in 1980 in the “Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,” Michael D. Storms), and more studies done in 1983(by Paula Nurius) and in 1994(^ Wellings, K. (1994). Sexual Behaviour in Britain: The National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles.)."

"Hey I think you’re forgetting the part where sometimes words develop independently of each other and the part where the current use of demisexuality stems from AVEN, not livejournal. The livejournal demisexual group is extremely recent (2010) compared to the time when people in the asexual community first started talking about demisexuality (2007 or earlier).

Even if your story is true…WOW, CONCEPTS DEVELOPING INDEPENDENTLY AND HAPPENING TO USE THE SAME WORD, THAT NEVER HAPPENS IN LANGUAGE EVER!

Also, having a name for the real phenomenon of being incapable of experiencing sexual attraction to strangers is apparently ~sj~ now?"

Take a deep breath, cuddle whatever animal, stuffed or otherwise, is close to you, and know that it will be okay. This guy is obviously in denial about girls not ALL wanting to have sex immediately. That means he and his buddies don't get as much chance to f***.
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