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Romance and sex in movies....Does it bother you?


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#1 aasha.karma

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 07:32 AM

I am wondering what people generally feel about it.

 

Do you enjoy it

DO you tolerate it

Do you avoid it

 

I am a sexual person that enjoys romance and sex  in movies, but not porn. I have watched porn out of curiosity and find it disgusting for most part.

My husband, who I believe is an asexual  avoids any romantic movies. He talks down to me, when I am watching anything other than a documentary or news at home and says these movies are for less intellectual folks. I think it is because he is uncomfortable with onscreen intimacy. Does he just not like it on the screen or is he afraid that I might seek intimacy from him.

 

I wanted to know how others on this form felt about physical intimacy in ovies, so I can understand his extreme reactions to screen romance.

 

 



#2 Kitty Spoon Train

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 07:37 AM

The only thing that bothers me in movies is extreme romantic cliché. 

 

Everything else is fine.


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#3 Aqua-ace

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 07:42 AM

For me, romantic scenes are generally okay, but sex scenes have no appeal, and I look away, but I dislike romance or sex scenes when they're gratuitous with no relevance to the plot or characterization (or worse yet, a character gets derailed in order to be shoehorned into a relationship). Can't tell if he dislikes romantic movies out of the fear of you expecting intimacy as a result of seeing them, or if romantic movies are just not his cup of tea regardless of his sexuality. -_-


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#4 Cats.

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 07:49 AM

I don’t like sex in movies full stop, and I’ll avoid movies with romance as a main plot like the plague, but I quite like a bit of subtle romantic subplot (preferably side characters so it's not in my face all the time) despite being aromantic. If they’re not touching excessively or kissing and they’re fully clothed it’s cute, otherwise it’s icky and I’ll turn away for the moment or stop watching entirely. However I’m not about to judge other people for wanting to watch that kind of thing, I know it’s me that’s the weird one there. Like Aqua-ace said though, perhaps he's concerned about it shaping your expectations.


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#5 starrynight

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 08:01 AM

I don't like over-romanticized plots, such as love at first sight, love based on physical passion but nothing else, "the one and only", and "happily ever after". But I enjoy love stories with some "substance". And the more unconventional the better! :D I'm mostly indifferent to sex scenes.


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#6 Messen

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 08:10 AM

Sometimes I dont mind it, other times it is sooo cheesy that I have to look away and cover my ears so that I do not puke.



#7 Kitty Spoon Train

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 08:15 AM

I don't like over-romanticized plots, such as love at first sight, love based on physical passion but nothing else, "the one and only", and "happily ever after". But I enjoy love stories with some "substance". And the more unconventional the better! :D I'm mostly indifferent to sex scenes.

 

I actually like the love story of Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala in Star Wars - but only because it's such an awesome example of how love based on selfish attachment is a destructive force. :lol:

 

As for love stories that I actually like in movies, hmmmm, can't think of any well known or recent ones. But lots of them are not actually too bad in older romantic comedies. Whenever there's a basic plot of the characters totally annoying the crap each other at the beginning, but then starting to love each other as their contact/friendship deepens, I think it's generally more in line with real love, and not the whole passion-limerence-lust-attachment cliché thing.

 

A good example of this is "French Kiss". 


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#8 Cymry

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 08:27 AM

I was discussing this with a friend not so long ago, and I said 'it's like wallpaper to me' which goes back to me saying how when watching such things I will comment on random things around the room they're in that nobody else has noticed, which I find so funny.  All of this was before I even knew what asexuality was and it makes so much sense now.


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#9 starrynight

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 08:29 AM

Whenever there's a basic plot of the characters totally annoying the crap each other at the beginning, but then starting to love each other as their contact/friendship deepens, I think it's generally more in line with real love, and not the whole passion-limerence-lust-attachment cliché thing.

Yeah, I like that kind too. The old Russian movie Office Romance is like that, and very hilarious. I also like Flipped, where the girl's love started from infatuation, but she gradually learned what real love means and started to reflect on her own feelings.

 

Romantic movies I don't like include The Notebook, Serendipity, and the romance part of Les Mis (I love the musical to pieces, but I think Marius and Cosette's love is totally stupid).


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#10 kkkkai

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 08:29 AM

It depends on the context of the romantic interaction, I think. I am comfortable with small gestures, holding hands, hugs, etc. In the 'right' relationship between characters I am able to enjoy watching them develop in this way. In terms of more intense physical intimacy, I definitely struggle to watch anything 'heavier' than kissing. Even making out makes me uncomfortable most of the time. Under specific circumstances, mostly depending on my investment in the characters and plot, I can be okay with scenes like that, but its entirely up to the film. 

 

Honestly, I know a number of sexual people who are uncomfortable watching physical intimacy in movies, so this is no definite indicator for anyone. I am the worst person in the world when it comes to second-hand embarrassment, and I know that is the case for a few friends of mine as well. This trickles into my media enjoyment, because I am physically uncomfortable watching characters do things that I would not want to do, or be caught doing. I agree with a lot of above posts, in that gratuitous sex and romance, particularly when it undermines a character or plot point, also bother me on a higher level than it might for others.

 

In your husband's case, romance stories may simply not be the kind of thing he enjoys. He may value the romantic relationships that he has/had, but could just have no desire to watch or experience anyone else's. Sometimes, like with my second-hand embarrassment thing, it can be hard to articulate these feelings and personal interests, so he may simplify it down to deriving more enjoyment from intellectually stimulating material like documentaries. If you have a problem with the way he views your entertainment choices, it would be a good idea to talk to him about it. (Unsolicited advice, take it or leave it) Your husband would be far from the first person who has difficulty articulating their interests or communicating their discomfort with genres of film.



#11 Vrenn

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 08:39 AM

It doesn't bother me, though you will catch me riffing crappy sex scenes in movies and annoying the people I'm watching with... though I'm doing that throughout the rest of the movie.  I'm not a lot of fun to watch movies with.



#12 Axestopper Pete

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 08:40 AM

I don't like sex scenes, and I'm very picky about romances. Mostly once they start I think "oh god, here we go again..." but sometimes I'm all :wub: :wub: :wub:. I'm not quite sure what sets that off though.

 

I feel kind of smug when there is potential for romance but it doesn't happen. I don't like cliche romance.


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#13 Silmaril

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 08:42 AM

I am wondering what people generally feel about it.

 

Do you enjoy it

DO you tolerate it

Do you avoid it

I consider myself as rather an old-fashioned romantic at heart but I absolutely despise romantic comedies because they seem to have such shallow storylines and reinforce cheesy gender stereotypes. It is also unfortunate that many film and TV portrayals of "romance" are more of unbridled lust than anything. To answer your question, I don't feel the need to avoid such scenes and I can tolerate many of them but often the encounters are so tacky that I simply have to roll my eyes and get up to make a cup of tea or refill my bowl of potato chips.... On a more positive note, there are rare occasions when love/romance is portrayed in a way that is genuine and respectful, which I do like very much. One example that springs to mind is the relationship between George and Jim, a gay couple in the film A Single Man. For those who haven't read the book or seen the movie, George is living with overwhelming grief after Jim dies in a car accident. The movie references their long-term relationship in a series of flashbacks and I thought the subject was handled with a lot of class when it could have so easily have been ruined by artless depictions of their sexual encounters. A viewer would come away from that film touched by the endearing awkwardness of their first meeting, the depth of their intimacy as a couple and the poignancy of all the little everyday experiences that shape a shared life. I was moved to tears in a scene where George is angered by insinuations that his relationship was a poor alternative to a conventional heterosexual marriage and he cries out, "Jim wasn't a substitute for anything, and now there is no substitute for him!" Now that to me conveys far more about love/romance than any number of graphic sex scenes.


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#14 Nyu

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 09:12 AM

Cute romance? That's fine. Sex scenes? No, leave them out of the movies. I really dislike it when the sex scene could have easily been left out, when it seems tacked on. 


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#15 Mysticus Insanus

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 11:57 AM

Hollywood Romance bothers me whenever it comes up.

 

Sex... well, depends. If it's the good old-fashioned "passionate kiss, move out of frame, fade out" routine, fine and dandy. (Ah, those were the days, right? :lol: ) If it's just women, fine and dandy too. Otherwise, yeah, I'd like it to get over with and I sure as Hell don't want to see any anatomical details.


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#16 Xeleer

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 12:22 PM

I'm fine with a good romance plot that makes sense and stuff. I'd imagine I couldn't bear clichéd romances though. And in general, sex scenes aren't necessary at all to tell the story, they're just shoehorned in to appeal to people that like that sort of thing...?



#17 A Taste of Harmony

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 12:22 PM


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#18 TuesMorning

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 02:44 PM

I absolutely love romantic films, I seek them out.  All my friends know I go for the "chick flicks" so my movie picking privileges have been revoked.  But I love 'em.  The more corny and predictable they get, the better.  

 

Movies are escapes from real life right?  So why not make it a warm fuzzy story.  I'm not going to go out and get into a romantic relationship in real life but that doesn't mean that it isn't cute to watch.  I especially love homosexual romances but I don't see many of them.  There's just something about a relationship in it's infancy that drives me crazy, I can't look away.  The bubbling feelings, the awkward looks, the words they can't say, the eventual kiss, it's just so cute!  Even better if it's a "forbidden relationship".  I don't care much to watch a sustained romance, something that's been previously established.  That's not terribly exciting.

 

Sex isn't something that I seek out in films, in any fashion.  It isn't all that terribly cute.  To be honest I rarely see it.  I can't remember the last film where it was at least hinted at that this couple was now having sex, or even displaying it.  If it does pop up then I can tolerate it, it's not the main segment of the film anyhow.  However IF I like the film I'll make a mental note of where it is so I can avoid it the next time I play the film.  

 

I love documentaries as well, and I watch a lot of them.  They're really interesting!  But if I'm going to escape I need a lovey-dovey film.



#19 Robin L

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 02:45 PM

Sex = never watched, don't know.

 

Romance is great as long as the characters aren't acting cheesy or stupid.


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#20 Epitaksor

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 04:47 PM

Generally, I find romance and sex scenes just boring. I am not bothered by it, but I don't see anything interesting in them. It's like, ok, let's wait till the plot goes on.

 

All in all, I can tolerate it as long as it's not too stereotypical or clichéd.


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#21 Pyro Yoshi

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 05:19 PM

I hate lame, cheesy over the top cliche romance. I don't like sappy romance either, I'd much rather watch something that will make me laugh or that features someone getting their head sawed off. Comedy and horror is pretty much all I watch to be honest.

 

Sex scenes don't really bother me, as long as they don't occur too often. I saw part of the Watchmen, and I swear, it seemed like there was a sex scene every 15 minutes! Needless to say, I got bored and didn't bother watching the whole thing. So, I'm rather indifferent to cinematic sex, but when it occurs too often in a film, I'm just like, "Really? They're having sex AGAIN? BORING, FAST FORWARD."



#22 The Great WTF

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 05:30 PM

I hate Hollywood romance because it's usually unrealistic and cliche, nothing to do with my asexuality. I think the last romantic comedy I enjoyed was Sweet Home Alabama and even then it was more because the main character's hometown was just like the town my family came from. It was a case of'It's funny because it's true.'

As for sex? They irritate me when they're clearly just put in the movie for sex appeal (Looper's random sex cutaway, for example) and add nothing to the actual story. If it's somehow a part of the story or a character's development, I don't mind.

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#23 Satin

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 05:44 PM

I generally don't mind romances in movies but I get the feeling that many movies include a romance sub-plot (as well as usually some sex scene) simply for the sake of having included that in the story. I'd definitely appreciate if more movies would simply ignore any kind of cheap/cliché/unrealistic romance and focus on the other topics that matter in a specific movie, like saving the world or whatever.

 

Regarding sex scenes... I treat those like advertisement breaks and use the moment to do something else until the story continues.



#24 Storm Dancing

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 05:52 PM

I hate Hollywood romance because it's usually unrealistic and cliche, nothing to do with my asexuality. I think the last romantic comedy I enjoyed was Sweet Home Alabama and even then it was more because the main character's hometown was just like the town my family came from. It was a case of'It's funny because it's true.'

As for sex? They irritate me when they're clearly just put in the movie for sex appeal (Looper's random sex cutaway, for example) and add nothing to the actual story. If it's somehow a part of the story or a character's development, I don't mind.

 

 

I am wondering what people generally feel about it.

 

Do you enjoy it

DO you tolerate it

Do you avoid it

 

I am a sexual person that enjoys romance and sex  in movies, but not porn. I have watched porn out of curiosity and find it disgusting for most part.

My husband, who I believe is an asexual  avoids any romantic movies. He talks down to me, when I am watching anything other than a documentary or news at home and says these movies are for less intellectual folks. I think it is because he is uncomfortable with onscreen intimacy. Does he just not like it on the screen or is he afraid that I might seek intimacy from him.

 

I wanted to know how others on this form felt about physical intimacy in ovies, so I can understand his extreme reactions to screen romance.

I like the idea of enduring love more than romance.  For example, I love The Color Purple.  "Mister's" love for Celie began as abuse but when he brought her sister home it was such a testament of knowing what love is far too late and honoring a one-sided love that he would never have again.  Another one would be "Fried Green Tomatoes".  The first time Ruth kisses Idgie, it sets up an undying love that is never blatantly put on the screen but is made more powerful by the constant suggestion of it.  And,well, I loved Saving Silverman.  Love in its funniest form,lol.  But the high passion scenes of where the characters can't keep their hands off of each other? Puh-lease.  Or dialogue where every other word is a sexual innuendo?  Ugh.  Or the constant angst of "Does he like me? Will he call?" No thank you.  One of the stupidest movies I think I ever watched was "The Sweetest Thing" with Cameron Diaz.  I went to see it with friends and afterwards, when asked my opinion, I said that I thought it was ridiculous and Cameron Diaz and her friends acted like they were ten years old.  There were a few funny parts but not near enough.  All my friends loved it though.  Go figure,lol.


 

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#25 ArtemisLiCa

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 05:53 PM

Romantic comedies, or 'chick flicks,' for the most part annoy me to no end. Which is funny because I'm a hopeless romantic and I love seeing romance in other kinds of movies. I do have to second that I enjoy movies where the characters fall in love after starting out disliking each other, but only if they've had experiences to overcome that dislike. I liked French Kiss, too, but I saw one movie where the two leads hated each other but then one realized the other was hot and wanted to jump in bed and that's all it took to overcome years of hating each other. <_<

 

As for sex scenes, it really depends on how it's done. I absolutely despise Hollywood's belief that every horror movie needs pointless, gratuitous sex scenes. I like watching horror movies with my youger sister and the last time we tried to watch horror movies three different movies went straight to sex scenes within five minutes of starting.

 

That said, a good example of a movie that I love with both romance and one sex scene is The Illusionist. I still watch it over and over trying to get hints or foreshadowing, because it's a great mystery as well, but I also love the romance of it. The one sex scene in the movie is really well done and very...elegant for lack of a better word. It's not graphic, but at the same time it's obviously showing bare skin of people engaged in sex-you just can't really tell what part of the body your looking at. I'd actually call it a beautiful sex scene and pretty much any other sex scene I've seen I've just rolled my eyes and looked around the room or fast forwarded the movie or something.


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#26 cdrdash

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 06:06 PM

I am wondering what people generally feel about it.

 

Do you enjoy it

DO you tolerate it

Do you avoid it

 

I am a sexual person that enjoys romance and sex  in movies, but not porn. I have watched porn out of curiosity and find it disgusting for most part.

My husband, who I believe is an asexual  avoids any romantic movies. He talks down to me, when I am watching anything other than a documentary or news at home and says these movies are for less intellectual folks. I think it is because he is uncomfortable with onscreen intimacy. Does he just not like it on the screen or is he afraid that I might seek intimacy from him.

 

I wanted to know how others on this form felt about physical intimacy in ovies, so I can understand his extreme reactions to screen romance.

 

I generally enjoy all types of romance in movies.  As for sex in movies it really depends on the sex scene.  If they are on the short side and they move the plot along, I sometimes enjoy them.   The longer sex scenes usually bore me unless they are very artfully done.   If the show/movie is on DVD, I will often fast forward through the sex scenes when I start to get bored of them.  


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#27 A380

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 07:08 PM

Good question! I was really curious to find out how people reacted to those! :D

 

Personally, I hate sex scenes. I feel deeply disturbed, even offended, when they come up. Sometimes I overreact and burst into tears when I see one in a movie. :/



#28 RedPanda3

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 07:15 PM

I'm not into chick flick romance movies at all, I find them boring and cliche. 

 

Sex scenes in movies... really bother me. It just makes me uncomfortable, like I just got too close for comfort with the characters. It makes me want to leave the room until it's over. They just always seem to be awkward, perhaps because I simply cannot get myself to relate to it at all. Making out on screen has the same reaction to me. 

 

Does anyone watch Game of Thrones? I absolutely love that show, but the sex scenes in there are so... well, just beyond graphic and really hard to watch. After the first couple of episodes I got "used" to it, but it really just leaves a large distaste in my mouth. 



#29 .Lia

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 07:17 PM

Hate romance movies. Don't mind sex scenes but I will not watch romance or romantic comedy movies. I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a dull rusty spork >.<


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Have you ever wanted to tell someone how much you appreciate them,
but realized that cake doesn't have ears?
I may not be the most beautiful, or the sexiest, nor do I have the perfect body.
But I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not, I’m good at being me. I might not be proud
of some of the things I've done in my past, but I’m proud of who I am today. nobody is
perfect, but that’s what makes everything interesting.


#30 *killer*queen*

*killer*queen*

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 07:49 PM

If it's a believable part of the plot, and doesn't go overboard, I'm okay with it.  Not fond of it, not that it makes me uncomfortable, I'm just fucking bored and want to get to the rest of the plot.  I mean seriously...we know where those scenes are typically going to end.  Unless a bunny jumps out of the closet and shoots them... eh, whatever.  I don't care much for strict romance movies either (ex: The Notebook).  It is a good movie, yes, but not my cup of tea.  If I'm going to have to sit through romance it better be hilarious. 


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