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Afraid of being forever alone?


Grumpy Alien

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EruditeVolatility

I agree, though. It would be so nice if all of us could just have a party with Disney films and cookies... or pie. ha

Let's do it. (If only the world were a bit smaller.)

There should be an internet way to do this :P

Can there be a massive Ace Convention where there's a Disney Movie room with complementary cookies?

Guys... We should have an ace convention. Like ComicCon or VidCon. We should have an AceCon. Obviously, everyone would be invited and welcome, but it would be a whole weekend devoted to raising awareness for asexuality and what it really means and that it's okay and normal, not something super weird and "wrong." And we can have panels for asexuality in religious contexts, in having relationships, we can have some sexuals have a panel. And of course fun stuff. We can have writers/actors/etc who play/are/write asexuality and...

GUYS THIS HAS TO HAPPEN O_O

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JackSlashJill

I agree, though. It would be so nice if all of us could just have a party with Disney films and cookies... or pie. ha

Let's do it. (If only the world were a bit smaller.)

There should be an internet way to do this :P

Can there be a massive Ace Convention where there's a Disney Movie room with complementary cookies?

Guys... We should have an ace convention. Like ComicCon or VidCon. We should have an AceCon. Obviously, everyone would be invited and welcome, but it would be a whole weekend devoted to raising awareness for asexuality and what it really means and that it's okay and normal, not something super weird and "wrong." And we can have panels for asexuality in religious contexts, in having relationships, we can have some sexuals have a panel. And of course fun stuff. We can have writers/actors/etc who play/are/write asexuality and...

GUYS THIS HAS TO HAPPEN O_O

Made a thread so we won't derail this one: here. :)

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swim2thesun

I have no fear whatsoever in being "Forever Alone". I don't really crave romantic relationships with people but still friends are nice...

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  • 2 weeks later...
DemisexualHulk

All my life Id never been attracted to anybody, romantically or sexually, and the only time I was ever sexually attracted to someone was when I had an emotional connection to them... Even then, I have almost no drive to act on the attraction. I don't even connect to most people when it comes to making friends.. As much as I accept my potential fate as a loner, it would be nice to find more people to connect with as a friend or more, IRL. Maybe one day..

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I've never been in a relationship and i'm 23, i'd be more content with just having a platonic life partner more than anything though, like a lifelong kind of sibling relationship

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I've had fears that I might never find a partner in life. I feel romantic attraction but really don't care about sex in a relationship (it's not even that I can't do it...I just don't care enough to pursue it). I imagine it's going to be difficult to find someone who understands that I'm just not into sex, not because I'm not attracted to them but as I can't muster up the interest in general. However, I'm also open to polyamory and would be fine with having a girlfriend who got sexual satisfaction from another person while remaining my partner. I would even live with two people while we were all in a romantic relationship while those two could receive sexual satisfaction in each other.

I guess the problem is just finding someone who doesn't back away slowly when I try to explain this. xD

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Yes. Graceful. This is a fear that I have often enough. Every time I think my grandfather passing away, and my grandmother going next, I am reminded of not having a wife or children of my own and it pains me. I'm limited in what I'm comfortable doing sexually too. I can give/receive oral sex with an attractive member of either gender, but don't care for penetrative sex. This is frustrating for potential partners and makes me doubt I'll find one for life.

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I sometimes get scared that I'll die alone. It's a scary thought. I'm not sure I'll ever find the right person, but I want to be hopeful about it. :)

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0rangeHoodie

Does anyone else get physically aroused by the thought of marriage? Or having a partner? I know that I do, but its only for a moment and then everything goes back to normal.

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Asexual and romantic here. There are days I feel "doomed" ;) Then there are other days I feel "oh well, maybe someday..."

I'm still exploring the definitions and trying to figure out if I'm somewhat grey-A or really A. I feel attracted by men, I just have no interest at all in sex. Sex can happen (hence "the grey-A doubt"), but if it doesn't I'm perfectly fine as I don't remember ever feeling sexual attraction in the first place, so maybe I'm just A... Which goes back to the topic of the thread. I sometimes feel I'll end my days alone. I try to be optimistic, telling myself I might be "alone", but not feeling "lonely" because at least I have very dear friends. But it's tough sometimes.

Sorry this post isn't probably helping at all. Ops! :unsure:

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Webley Tempest

I've made peace now with dying alone.

I always hoped I might find someone that has a singular connection with me on some intuitive, intrinsic level. I sometimes wonder if what I keep an eye out for doesn't actually exist.

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EruditeVolatility

I'm almost convinced that what I want doesn't exist. But I can keep hoping. For awhile. I'm still in the "I'm young and life is full of possibilities" phase of life.

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Asexual and romantic here. There are days I feel "doomed" ;) Then there are other days I feel "oh well, maybe someday..."

I'm still exploring the definitions and trying to figure out if I'm somewhat grey-A or really A. I feel attracted by men, I just have no interest at all in sex. Sex can happen (hence "the grey-A doubt"), but if it doesn't I'm perfectly fine as I don't remember ever feeling sexual attraction in the first place, so many I'm just A... Which goes back to the topic of the thread. I sometimes feel I'll end my days alone. I try to be optimistic, telling myself I might be "alone", but not feeling "lonely" because at least I have very dear friends. But it's tough sometimes.

Sorry this post isn't probably helping at all. Ops! :unsure:

At least, we're not alone in our emotional pain!

You have expressed exactly how I use to feel and think about myself.

I'm also Hteroromantic Gray-A and tend to feel doomed and have a very bad days (even cry many times in just a day) while in others I'm more optimistic. Also, in certain days is just like I have accepted my "destiny" of being alone like... forever u_u Yes, this is very discouraging, it's a known fact that hope is something good and bad at the same time: it keep us alive, but it also can kill us if we never find what we're looking for.

This fear to be "forever alone" will maybe always be with us, but I really want to know somebody like me or who can understand me for real.

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Um yes definitely feel doomed. I have no idea what I am to be honest!

I have felt sexual attraction only 1 time. I have felt romantic attraction I'm not sure how many times. I do desire a partner very much but in general they are all way too sexual for me far too fast. I think I am demisexual. Most of the relationships I tend to have are very platonic from my side but the other person develops sexual feelings and that ends it for us. I really can't do sex too soon or I feel very unsafe. If I feel comfortable with the person I may consider having sex even if I don't feel sexual attraction if I know that I need to to keep the relationship but I haven't had a situation like that. It's mostly people who I am not yet comfortable with who are wanting sex with me it all feels far too intrusive.

Oh yeah, and I'm also HoH/Deaf autistic nonverbal.

I'm pretty sure what I want doesn't exist.

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Asexual and romantic here. There are days I feel "doomed" ;) Then there are other days I feel "oh well, maybe someday..."

I'm still exploring the definitions and trying to figure out if I'm somewhat grey-A or really A. I feel attracted by men, I just have no interest at all in sex. Sex can happen (hence "the grey-A doubt"), but if it doesn't I'm perfectly fine as I don't remember ever feeling sexual attraction in the first place, so many I'm just A... Which goes back to the topic of the thread. I sometimes feel I'll end my days alone. I try to be optimistic, telling myself I might be "alone", but not feeling "lonely" because at least I have very dear friends. But it's tough sometimes.

Sorry this post isn't probably helping at all. Ops! :unsure:

At least, we're not alone in our emotional pain!

You have expressed exactly how I use to feel and think about myself.

I'm also Hteroromantic Gray-A and tend to feel doomed and have a very bad days (even cry many times in just a day) while in others I'm more optimistic. Also, in certain days is just like I have accepted my "destiny" of being alone like... forever u_u Yes, this is very discouraging, it's a known fact that hope is something good and bad at the same time: it keep us alive, but it also can kill us if we never find what we're looking for.

This fear to be "forever alone" will maybe always be with us, but I really want to know somebody like me or who can understand me for real.

Hola midrashim :)

I know what you mean... about finding someone who can understand. Y'know, I think sexuals must feel the same. We humans in general... so many people look for somebody similar, somebody who understands. But not everyone succeeds.

Then I guess knowing ourselves can be an advantage. Like you say, knowing can be good or bad.

In my case, it's a bit like a heavy backpack: some days I feel tired of carrying it around all the time; but some days I don't feel its weight, it's just part of who I am and it's not a weight ;)

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trumpetchick

I feel like I will be. With the exception of 21 hours of my life, I've always been single. I've never even held hands or gone on a date with anyone while the rest of my friends have. I like being single enough, but I do wish I had a boyfriend sometimes. And if it ever got to the question of marriage - which I highly doubt - I'd be willing to compromise with the fact that I don't want to go past kissing with anyone, but I have a feeling that no matter what I am, sexual or asexual, I'd still be forever alone. I'm coming to terms with it, though. As much as I'd like a relationship, there are definitely some downsides to being in one, so I'm trying to make it so that the cons outweigh the pros for me.

Goodness, and I'm still too young to be worrying about this kind of stuff. I have school and band to focus on.

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I know that I will probably be forever alone haha, who would want to live with an asexual dude haha, but as well as that I also suffer from ED, so no sex for me for the foreseeable future haha

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  • 2 weeks later...

I find it interesting that so many people think that just because they might not get married or date that they will die alone. I personally don't care much about marriage and dating but I know that even when someone is on their deathbed they're not alone. I mean you have plenty of friends and acquaintances to make over the years and theres family as well...

just something I thought was interesting.

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This is quite possibly the worst fear I have in my life right now. Being someone who is a romantic and who really desires a life parter - a jeevansathi if you want to use the indian term - the idea that I will never find that person is terrifying. At the same time, it seems more and more possible by the day. I'm 27, never really had any sort of parter, and I just don't see it happening. It's scary as hell most days and something I typically try not to think much about.

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Hmm, like Celine Dion said in one of her songs 'when I was young I never needed anyone' . Some years ago I wouldn't think about a soul mate, about a partner. I felt good with myself, I did not need companionship. Now I am getting older and my thinking evaluates. I need someone just to be here, share views, laugh together. The worst thing is that I realised that I am a big stranger, outsider and I don't find my soul mate.

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I'm 29 and after a few failed long term relationships I'm terrified of being on my own. Sex has always been a massive barrier for me. My partners have always expected me to intitiate sex regularly and when I don't they start questioning why. My last partner constantly accused me of being unfaithful and in the end drove us apart. I hope one day to fond someone to have a meaningful relationship with without sex coming between us.

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I'm just afraid really of never trully understand what love is, and being unable to write good novels just for that. :mad:

For not being forever alone, I have to find something that can be at my height :redface:, where height is the ability of doing great and amazing things but also the risk of losing all the stability and not having a planned life. Most of the woman are not ready for that risk I have found.

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Milo Minderbinder

Yeah. It's something I'm scared of, but I have no idea what to do about it. I'm 23 and I've been watching high school friends getting married and while I'm very happy for them, it's been disheartening for me. The fact that my friends have found people with whom they want to share their lives with made me question whether something's wrong with me (I still wonder).

I always admired Margie's and Norm's relationship in the movie "Fargo", but I have a feeling that's never going to happen.

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I keep telling myself that I'm still young and have plenty of time to find someone, which I suppose is true, but I am still scared I'll end up alone. I'm not very good at making friends or talking to strangers at all, let alone finding someone to get involved with romantically. Even when I signed up to a dating site I had trouble sending or replying to any messages.

I think part of my problem is that I'm not entirely sure what I want though. If I don't even know what I would want from a relationship, how can I find someone who wants the same thing?

I've never been in a real relationship, but I have had a couple of experiences. One was purely an online thing that happened when we met in an MMO by chance. We would just talk pretty much all the time, and play games together. He knew I was asexual and was initially okay with that but later changed his mind, and acted completely immaturely when I ever tried to talk about anything serious with him. The other experience was when I first went to uni. He knew I was asexual from the start too, and made no comment about it. When I tried to talk to him about 'us', he completely ignored me even if I was sat right in front of him. I later found out he'd JUST broken up with his girlfriend before coming to uni and was never interested in anything with me.

I guess those experiences have had a bit of a negative impact on me, and I'm worried that if I do somehow get involved with someone who's okay with me being asexual, they'll either change their mind or never want anything serious. I did love the time I spent in the online 'relationship' though, and if I could find something like that again that could later transfer to real life, I would be extremely happy. I just have no idea of how to go about finding anything like that.

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Im currently battling this myself at present. Being male and asexual is alot to deal with when society is concerned. I would love to have a relationship get married and possible have kids if thats possible. But it doesnt it, and has gave me some anxiety as i regard myself as somewhat extrovert and the thought of being a lone is daunting. Ive only ever had romantic feelings which i think would mean im possible demisexual. But in Scotland its hard to find a girl who would like to first build a friendship and see where it goes. I cannot just go out and be fully attracted to a woman at first glance/ meeting. My mates have an easier time with this and now they are all starting to settle down with girlfriends and a feel that im always going to be the one left out in the group. I can see where your coming from and if you ever want to chat just send me a message.

Ste

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buttcheekasaurus-rex

I know that I will probably be forever alone haha, who would want to live with an asexual dude haha, but as well as that I also suffer from ED, so no sex for me for the foreseeable future haha

Dude, you probably will find a woman that doesn't mind not having sex more easily than me finding a dude that is okay with my asexuality and desire for a platonic relationship :ph34r:

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Dimitra_Blud

At the point in my life (I'm only 20 and I'll be 21 next month) I don't feel doomed it although I think that I might once I get closer to my 30s. However, I can say that I feel like I'm in the same department. I think that it would be very hard for me to get a boyfriend being, possibly, grey asexual or demi grey-asexual (still trying to figure it out). I've never been in a relationship but it doesn't bother me. I had a huge crush on a guy in high school and this was far before I would figure out anything about myself sexually. It was rather unrequited :redface:

But try not to let it bring you down. Remember, there are a lot more things in life than love and sex. And if the time comes, it will happen for you. :D

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buttcheekasaurus-rex

I strongly believe I will never find someone (male, female or non-gender) that wants to be with me in an asexual queerplatonic relationship. The world is big, but how I know that I will meet that person if I can't even go out of my house without having anxiety attacks? :unsure:

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Guest FlamesofFire

Having my friends and people close to me tell me that finding someone who is romantic but doesn't want intercourse and doesn't want children is nearly impossible.

Dating sexuals leads to frustration from their side and leaves me scared as I want nothing to do with intercourse. Dating asexuals I have not done yet, my hopes are in there.

Doomed to be single? It feels that way sometimes, but I do not want a sexual relationship. I would like the emotional support, romance and some form of intimacy.

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