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Doctor_What

Sexual-aversion questions

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Doctor_What

Hi, I've been describing myself as asexual, but I'm still trying to figure out where I fit. I just have a few questions on sexual aversion. First, can I have a clear definition of sexual-aversion? I just don't completely understand exactly what it is. Two, do sexually repulsed people still masturbate? Three, are sexual activities traumatizing for sexually repulsed people?

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Vega91

I think that can depend on the person you're asking. All I can offer is my own personal feelings on the issue.

1) In my opinion, at least, sexual aversion is that you just don't want sex, perhaps don't even want to think or hear about it. While some asexuals may even enjoy sex, even if they don't feel sexual attraction, I would say that sex-averse people could not even imagine enjoying sex.

2) I guess some might do it, maybe some people make a definition between sex with another person and what they see as just fulfilling a personal need. Personally, I don't as I find the thought of touching that area gross and pointless.

3) Once again, this can depend but for me, personally they would be. From what I've heard from sex-averse people here on AVEN, most would feel awful if they were forced to be in a sexual situation. Still, it's impossible to say what everyone who identifies as sex-averse feels.

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CBC

Here's something that describes sexual aversion disorder, if that helps at all. (Which is NOT the same thing as being a repulsed asexual, but you asked about aversion specifically, so...)

As for your other questions, I think they're impossible to give general answers to. Sexually repulsed people are not one homogeneous group who all share the same feelings and habits. You didn't even specify whether you meant sexually repulsed asexuals or just people of all orientations who experience repulsion.

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Doctor_What

I guess I should rephrase my questions to start with "could" rather than "do". Thank you though! ^__^

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Doctor_What

Also, "Sexual aversion disorder"? I'm not very fond of how that is phrased...informative though

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Vega91

It's an interesting article definitely, CBC, but I don't like the fact that it makes it seem as if the only cause for sexual aversion is trauma. (Though you did state that this is different from a sex-repulsed ace). Still seems like it's an attitude too many people who don't know about asexuality have.

I think I have heard somewhere that it's only called a "disorder" when it's causing problems for the person suffering from it. Don't know how medically accurate that is tho :P

No problem Doctor_What :)

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CBC

Also, "Sexual aversion disorder"? I'm not very fond of how that is phrased...informative though

Like I said, it's not the same thing as asexuality for sure. It seems to be a legit disorder in some people (regardless of orientation) though, and that's the name it's been given.

Also, it's just the first page I came across on a site that seemed legitimate. Again, I'm NOT not equating that with asexuality or repulsed asexuals. The OP first asked about sexual aversion, so I assumed they meant that in reference to the disorder. If it was being used as a synonym for sexual repulsion and was referring only to repulsed asexuals, that's a different matter altogether.

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Doctor_What

Thank you again. I would like some personal answers from other sexually repulsed aces, it would really help.

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Vega91

Also, "Sexual aversion disorder"? I'm not very fond of how that is phrased...informative though

Like I said, it's not the same thing as asexuality for sure. It seems to be a legit disorder in some people (regardless of orientation) though, and that's the name it's been given.

Also, it's just the first page I came across on a site that seemed legitimate. Again, I'm NOT not equating that with asexuality or repulsed asexuals. The OP first asked about sexual aversion, so I assumed they meant that in reference to the disorder. If it was being used as a synonym for sexual repulsion and was referring only to repulsed asexuals, that's a different matter altogether.

I'm not trying to say that you were, I'm sorry if I came off like that. And of course, the site's not wrong, after all those things can lead to sex aversion.

I guess I just meant that in a more general sense, that it would be nice to see more knowledge and talk about asexuality.

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Fitzsimmons ♡

I'm only mildly repulsed, not averse. Especially not touch-averse, I freaking adore physical contact with people I love!

I'm repulsed by even just the idea of body fluids (genitals more than saliva, I don't mind kissing that much), but I sometimes think that is also because i've always been non-libidoist (I don't experience libido) so I've never really found the whole arousal experience 'natural' for my own personal feelings.

I've participated in sexual activities out of curiosity (and a bit of self-pressure to be like my peers), and I just couldn't handle body fluids, but I also had the issue that I got bored half-way through foreplays XD I don't think it'd be traumatizing for me, it hasn't been, and I'm actually sometimes still curious about some things and activities I haven't tried.

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Doctor_What

Thanks ithaca. Also...sorry for messing up with the uses of "repulsed" and "aversion"

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CBC

No worries about mixing up the terms.

Anyway, I guess I identify as repulsed in certain ways... though my repulsion is not so much about the physical aspects of sex than the emotional mental/psychological ones. Like, I'm not really grossed out by the actual actions, more the idea behind them. Anyway, I already gave a link to a definition of sexual aversion (which I guess is not really what you meant anyway, haha), so here are my other answers. If it's useful info to you at all, I'm grey-a-ish, a non-libidoist, and somewhat sex-negative. I actually prefer to say 'sex-negative' than 'repulsed', because I feel 'sex-negative' covers the aspects I'm talking about more than 'repulsed' does. People usually seem to use the latter to describe feelings of disgust towards the physical components, which is not really my issue. (And no, I'm not conservative or religious or anything. Quite the opposite actually, although I cannot bring myself to truly feel positive about sex. No real idea why this is. *shrugs*) Anyway...

Masturbation -- Tried it and my "parts" work as they should, but I have no drive to do it and personally I find masturbation creepy/gross/dirty, so no, I do not masturbate.

Sexual activities -- Some of them are traumatising, yes. Not all of them really, at least not to a great degree, but I'd still prefer not to engage in them for the same reasons I don't masturbate.

I'm happier with myself when my life does not include anything to do with sex, and given that I naturally seem to have little to no drive for it, it's not at all difficult for me to live a sexless existence. Engaging in the few things I've been able to physically enjoy to some small degree when experimenting in the past does not add anything positive to my life, so actively avoiding them is preferential to me -- which, as I say, is effortless due to the fact that sexual activity of any sort never really pops into my head as something to do.

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.........................

I'm repulsed by fluids, the looks of genitals and the way people look/act when they feel aroused, but I'm also repulsed by the whole physical intimacy thing... I'm not a touchy-feely person, and I don't feel the need to be physically close to people.

Two, do sexually repulsed people still masturbate? Three, are sexual activities traumatizing for sexually repulsed people?

From what I've seen here on the forums, it really depends on the person. I rarely do... Maybe once every two months or something, and I don't think about anything sexual while I do.

They were traumatizing to me, but maybe it has more to do with the fact that I kept going/didn't say no, even though I wasn't enjoying it.

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