Luftschlosseule Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 I hope I am right here although I am "only" part-time agender. I just discovered the term, and everything fits and now my brain is adjusting to this ... me. Yesterday I realised that I don't exist legally on some days, because the laws in this country only work with binary genders and I'm not able to get under the protection of the anti-discrimination laws. I felt ghost-ish before, but now that's even stronger. xD 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 Congratulations on finding a label! Yeah it's a weird feeling, it's discrimination basically. But all the laws refer to you "official sex", whatever you were assigned at birth, so you still got protection. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Luftschlosseule Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 Thank you! (:It feels like half of me is acceptable and I am thinking of writing a Batman fanfiction or so. "You can't stop me! I've done nothing! It was my left side, ha!" Or do you know Welcome to Night Vale and the five headed dragon Hiram McDaniel? When he gets arrested and convicted, one of his heads tried to stop the other four and they made a hole in the cell for this head because he doesn't have to be there. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 Good quote! I'm too far behind with wtnv to be honest. I do feel like an undercover agent sometimes. Nobody knows my real identity or purpose. (the secret is, neither do I) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Luftschlosseule Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 I feel like a ghost. And as long as I have enough books and everybody is nice to them and to me, nothing will happen. Also, I am night active and... well, I guess the Halloween mood struck finally. Normally it starts in august, so I was a bit late. But, hey, if you are an undercover agent it would be wrong to know everything, but if you knew, there were no reason to be undercover. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 Such wise words! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Luftschlosseule Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 So if you happen to be undercover in a library, keep looking for me. Maybe we find the right book. I am answering your message later, at the moment I just get a error message from the side. Also, I am ghosting somewhere different, bye. (: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 I'm having an agender day and feel good with my body and all is well! I'm also rocking my new compressing sports bra. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 Ugh. So I'm at my parents' currently and my mom and I started talking about my hair/haircut. She told me about several people saying to her how beautiful I looked. I mean, that's a nice thing to hear, sure. But then she went on to say "you look like a woman now and not like a girl" and "you look so great with lipstick" (which I rarely put on but of course she likes me wearing make up). We had the same discussion a while ago when we met a neighbor and the both of them started saying "you look so mature now, a real woman and not a girl anymore". I HATE it. Stop calling me a woman, stop calling me beautiful like it's the main goal of life, of women's lives. Just stop. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Luftschlosseule Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 Ugh, yes, that sucks. /: How long are you staying? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 sorry finn :( 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 I'm going home tomorrow! That's a relief. The whole stay was kind of stressful for me, just because I need to prepare for my exams and stuff. So I'm a bit more sensitive as well. Yeah, my mom is full on in the denial stage apparently. You came out as genderneutral? When was that? Oh, she also asked why I'm not wearing earrings anymore. (I do sometimes! On occasion I even wear eyeshadow, or a skirt or a dress, but it's just not the norm for me). We went grocery shopping today, and nothing makes me feel more foreign than doing that in my hometown. Luckily no one really recognizes me anymore, so no one approaches me. I feel like the only (gender)queer person on the whole planet there. With my short hair and lipstick and button up flannel and lacking purse. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 When it comes to my mum, she seems very obsessed with the differences between males and females "All women are like that" "That's cause they're a man" Etc etc It really makes me uncomfortable to hear whenever she starts on the subject. I've tried explaining about all the different genders out there and not to assign things she associate with masculinity with me. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dodecahedron314 Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 Argh, I get similar things, though more with behavior than appearance--my mom is always saying things like "As a woman, you're going to have to deal with X" and "You have to be aware that men will treat you like Y and Z in the workplace because you're a woman" and "You're a woman who's in a male-dominated field, so watch out for P and Q". I understand that this is her way of trying to be helpful, but not only does it squick me out when she says stuff like that in reference to me (haven't come out to her yet...), but most of the stuff she says is really arbitrary and as far as I can tell has nothing to do with actual matters of gender. I'm not sure if coming out when I'm staying with her over break will make things better or worse... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Elia Posted October 11, 2016 Share Posted October 11, 2016 My mother (who I'm not out to) misunderstood something I said and thought I was saying I wasn't a woman. (Which I am not. But it wasn't what I meant.) Her: "What? Of course you're a woman!!" Me: (crying inside) I'm glad she doesn't do the whole "women are like this/mean are like this" stuff (and I'm sorry that you have to deal with that), but then I don't think I'll ever be able to get her to not call me a woman even if I come out to her. Sigh. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AppleSauceLake Posted October 11, 2016 Share Posted October 11, 2016 OHHH! I love chips! <3 Heyo everyone! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted October 12, 2016 Share Posted October 12, 2016 Hey AppleSauceLake, and welcome :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted October 12, 2016 Share Posted October 12, 2016 So I'm moving soon and I just looked into lgbtq things in this city. I figured since it's bigger there would be more options. And yeah, that's true. But I feel crushed now. I looked into trans and gay self help and community things. The only trans groups (that I'm not too old for) are "ftm" and "mtf" groups so that's a no for me. And all the gay stuff that's not party scene or for men is soo directly aimed at women. It directly says "no men allowed" or "only for women" (and they use the feminine terminology for everything which makes me feel so alien, oh sweet dysporia). There are groups for bisexuals, and the talk about "both / the two genders" and "women and men", and the lesbian ones are so female-centric (obvs). There are other fun groups, like reading groups and stuff, but it's all so... feminised. I mean I get it, female empowerment and safe space, I'm all for it. But does this mean I get no space? Can't there be a reading group just for... people? Like, I could totally check it out. But if they actually go through with this whole "we are all women" thing I will just leave. And I will certainly introduce myself as Finn. This move is a great chance for me to be more open about my name. But it might stir up questions. And telling this women group that I'm not a woman? I don't know how that will turn out... And I was hopeful that I could seize this opportunity to actually meet new cool people. it's easier to start attending groups if you only just moved there, at least in my head. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted October 12, 2016 Share Posted October 12, 2016 sorry, finn :( 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
idekrncidc231 Posted October 12, 2016 Share Posted October 12, 2016 1) Must be able to juggle, or must be able to attempt juggling check2) Must be tall. If you are not tall, you must be short. If lacking in either qualification, must perform a feat of daring (ie. lion taming)short... check 3) Must be willing to don silly hats. checkity check check4) No hiding! T.T but... but...5) We'll come up with 5 later. *nod...nod* ^^; I ... am only seeing this now... soooo... ... ..... *waves then goes off and hides in corner eating popcorn and watching what is to ensue* 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Luftschlosseule Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 Hahah, yes, Finn, I thought there may be some space for me since this is the first city in the country to have a pride parade and it's all about spaces for everybody, but the official groups don't include people like me.I am thinking about asking them if their websides are simply outdated and what they would say, if I could be welcome. It's so screwed. If I had the energy, I would open a group. Finn, would you like to come into my imiginary group? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 2) Must be tall. If you are not tall, you must be short. If lacking in either qualification, must perform a feat of daring (ie. lion taming) short... check OK, fine. Be short. I guess I'll just have to tame the lion myself then. *picks up chair and strides over to lion cage with confidence* Welcome BabydollJester! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 Hahah, yes, Finn, I thought there may be some space for me since this is the first city in the country to have a pride parade and it's all about spaces for everybody, but the official groups don't include people like me. I am thinking about asking them if their websides are simply outdated and what they would say, if I could be welcome. It's so screwed. If I had the energy, I would open a group. Finn, would you like to come into my imiginary group? Yes let's join forces! That would be amazing =) I hope it's just outdated, but the ftm/mtf thing is pretty clear. Why can't people use "queer" more often, that would help me lots already. And then there's also the whole LGBTT, LGBT*, LGBTT* weirdness going on here sometimes. What is LGBTT* supposed to mean? 1. T = transsexual (meaning ftm/mtf I suppose), 2. T = transgender (shouldn't that include nonbinary?) and the asterisk is for whom then? I actually saw this at cologe pride this year on a banner. I dislike the asterisk but it seems to be the norm here so I got used to it. But the TT* makes no sense at all. If I'm still supposed to be only the asterisk there, I will get angry. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wayfarer Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 I'm sorry Finn :( I'm really lucky that I had the complete opposite experience. In my previous town I didn't have a group I could join and be comfortable with, and here they actually have a group that really accepts asexuals and agender people. I'm still hesitant about being really active there, but I met up with some of them yesterday, and they really are open to people who identify as I do. It's extraordinary, and I still can't really believe it, but they do exist! Sometimes. *hugs* for any people in a less lucky situation 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
idekrncidc231 Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 2) Must be tall. If you are not tall, you must be short. If lacking in either qualification, must perform a feat of daring (ie. lion taming) short... check OK, fine. Be short. I guess I'll just have to tame the lion myself then. *picks up chair and strides over to lion cage with confidence* Welcome BabydollJester! thank you~ *jumps in cage and hugs lion* Lion: o.O? rawwr? *da fuq?* *nuzzles lion* Lion: *lion shrug nuzzles back* ^o^ 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 Taming the lion with cuddles, of course! Why didn't I think of that? It's so much easier to cuddle a lion without a chair in the middle ;) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
anodyneinsect Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 *eyes fries with interest* I like cheese... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lightning Blue Ray Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 My thought experiment and how I came to identify as agender/neutrois: you know how even if women have their chest removed for any reason, they know they're still women because that's their gender identity regardless of their body? For me, I imagined having a male body, and imagined how I might identify. I realized that I used to identify as a girl only because I was AFAB. Had I been AMAB, I would have identified as a boy. So I came to the conclusion that I'm neither gender. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I just realized that this is a thing. I am now a part of the thing. Hello. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dodecahedron314 Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Hey there Andiamo, welcome to the thing! :cake: [edited because mobile site goofed again] 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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