Let's Define Sexual Attraction

[R.M. Hester]

Hello All-

There were two interesting posts in the "welcome" section about a member who's writing a book on asexuality, and another who nicely disagrees with a few of the writer's definitions on asexuality.

I can understand how asexuality may be hard to define and mean very different things to different people. One can gather this just by reading everyone's personal stories that are posted here.

Sometimes, instead of trying to define a concept, it's helpful to define it's counterpart--in this case, sexuality.

I had a friend who took a course on human sexuality in college. She said that sexuality or "sexual" ideas aren't only about the act itself. Being physically close and intimate without actually having sex can be considered sexual.

If we are to consider ourselves asexual, I say let's try to decide what sexuality and things "sexual" are. What is sexual attraction, and how far along the spectrum of physical closeness does it go in the asexual world?

I would love to hear from one and all!

[AVENguy]

I'm actually writing a big thing on this topic that's gonna get posted on the "about asexuality" section, so I'll save most of my comments for there.

I have a definition of sexuality and sexual attraction up already in the info section, but I don't know how useful it would be here.

I would say that there's no real "line" between sexual and nonsexual physical contact, though a pretty consistent one seems to be long-term mouth kissing. An earlier discussion revelealed that a good number of asexuals were ok kissing, even on the lips, but didn't see any point in maintaining it much beyond a peck.