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Do you feel like sex is foreign to you?


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#1 & I'm a heretic

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Posted 03 February 2013 - 01:55 AM

I've never had sex, don't want it and anticipate never wanting it. I've never masturabted, probably never will. I've never felt any sexual urge. I mean, i like making out, but anything past that is disgusting to me. It all just seems foreign to me. It seems weird and awkward and really undesirable. Anyone else feel this way?


Edited by GIR, 03 February 2013 - 02:45 AM.
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#2 CBC.Radio.Girl

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Posted 03 February 2013 - 02:43 AM

Yes, sex seems very foreign to me. And I've had it. :mellow:


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#3 Serena_Terenama

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Posted 03 February 2013 - 02:49 AM

Had sex... alot when I was little... and never really liked it... was with the same woman had sex with her 9 times... started out wow this is really cool lets do it again... by the 9th time its like a chore... i did only through pity for her... I can't say I haven't enjoyed masturbation... it feels more natural to me than sex with either gender... but i dunno... its not something I do everyday...


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#4 birdseyeview

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Posted 03 February 2013 - 02:54 AM

I'm in my 30s and have never had sex. And the idea of sex makes me very uncomfortable.  I have never been able to even picture myself having sex with a guy I've met.  It's nice knowing you're not the only one, isn't it? :rolleyes:


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#5 Clemy

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Posted 03 February 2013 - 03:02 AM

I would definitely not use the word foreign to describe sex. I have had great experiences with seeing foreign culture. Sex I am not sure would be such a positive experience. :P I don't think I am designed to crave it like some others.  



#6 Striped Sweater

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Posted 03 February 2013 - 03:34 AM

Yeah.  Even when I first learned what sex was (and pretty much anything related to sex), I always saw it as something other people did.  Sort of like how I felt about getting my driver's license or getting a job.  I guess it has something to do with me having this feeling that there was some sort of metaphorical manual that people read about growing up and I never got to read it.  I've already bumbled through a few of those growing up landmarks, but sex is still something that's always been on the "other people things" list.  And honestly, I don't really mind.


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Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:23 AM

Sex isn't foreign to me at all.

 

What is very foreign to me is the relationship that most other people seem to have with it. :)


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#8 Robin L

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Posted 03 February 2013 - 11:47 PM

Foreign? It might as well be from Mars.

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Posted 04 February 2013 - 04:28 AM

Sex, Romance, interpersonal relationships, socialising and generally other things people take for granted are all foreign to me... :rolleyes:
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#10 Raccoons & Arca N.H.

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Posted 04 February 2013 - 10:28 AM

Not... not really. I've experienced it before, it's just one of those things I feel no urge for


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#11 highcakedrive

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Posted 05 February 2013 - 02:28 AM

It is really difficult for me to imagine people having sex or wanting it. I have even walked in on people having sex and afterwards I couldn't see what was so fascinating about it.


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#12 impertinent huntress

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Posted 05 February 2013 - 02:37 AM

I wouldn't say it's foreign to me (although I've never had it - hello 30-year-old virgin!).

 

I'm not repulsed by it (although I think french kissing looks and sounds and feels kind of gross), but I do find the idea of it boring/not interesting. Like, I kind of imagine myself lying there and waiting to get it over with  :rolleyes:


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#13 & I'm a heretic

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Posted 05 February 2013 - 03:59 AM

Thanks for the feedback everyone!
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#14 Kiryu

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Posted 05 February 2013 - 04:05 AM

It doesn't necessarily seem foreign to me, i mean, it's something i desire so technically it wouldn't matter to me anyway since i wanna have that experience. Although, foreign could also mean the effect it has on your body, the body's natural response to sexual intercourse is foreign imo. I used to always question why my body suddenly felt the need/desire for sex. My mind would be thinking and then suddenly i would get aroused and my whole body would react, now that imo can be a good example of what's foreign. If sex is foreign then it would make sense, since it has an influence on your body, so to speak.  



#15 jmac

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Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:24 PM

I have had sex, and I experience sexual arousal.  The problem (for other people) is that even if I like/love someone & can say that I find their body astheticlly pleasing I feel no real desire to have sex with them.  I also find that I care more about what's going on in a person's grey matter than the case it comes in.  Kissing, for me, does nothing & ditto for penetrative intercourse.  My general response is:

 


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#16 xlindziex

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Posted 06 February 2013 - 04:33 AM

It doesn't seem so much foreign as it just seems plain weird to me. I feel like I don't really get the concept. Besides the fact that there are tons of sensitive nerves "down there" to make it feel good, I just don't see the appeal and honestly when I think about it it just doesn't seem worth it (but of course, I'm speaking as a virgin). I guess if I take a step back and see it from other people's point of view it can be a form of connection with someone you really care about, but I dunno, I guess I always just prefer cuddles as a form of connection and appreciation  :)


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#17 J-Clarke91

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Posted 08 February 2013 - 10:25 PM

it feels ALIEN to me NOT FOREIGN.... i dont have enough fingers on my hands to count the amount of times ive sat in a pub/bar and people play that "have you ever" game, and im just sat there listening to their conversation thinking... i would understand them if they were on about rocket science in japanese better than this!



#18 Low Key

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 02:36 AM

In my mid-twenties, never had sex. Don't think I ever want to. If other people do it away from me, good for them, but talking about it to me feels so very, very akward. When I try to think about myself having sex, I physically flinch in my revulsion.

 

I've only figured out the basics of mastrubation this summer. I was desparate trying to find ways to 'fix' myself and get over my reluctance and fear of sex because it was getting in the way of my relationship (it had been going on for 4-years and I did feel like I loved him, but I couldn't even take my bra off infront of him). Were any of you disappointed by the results? The way pop culture depicts orgasm makes it seem earth shattering awesome, and I was left with the feeling of 'that's it?'. It did feel nice, and I do feel arousal, so I do still do it. Just disapointing.

 

In another attempt to fix myself by aclimatizing myself to sex, I managed to watch porn. That was weird. A lot of it doesn't seem very sexy, just very graphic, which grossed me out. I never realized how awkard it looks as well, pretty comical actually.

 

Do any of you feel strong revulsion when you think about yourself having sex? Is it a very common feeling? Does it terrify you like it does me?


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#19 & I'm a heretic

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 02:47 AM

In another attempt to fix myself by aclimatizing myself to sex, I managed to watch porn. That was weird. A lot of it doesn't seem very sexy, just very graphic, which grossed me out. I never realized how awkard it looks as well, pretty comical actually.


This makes sense to me. I've never like gone out of my way to watch porn, but I have a tumblr so it's not uncommon to see it and now that I think of it, it does seem weird that people would watch it to get turned on or something. As for thinking a outset and people talking about it, I can bare it. It doesn't sicken me, but I detest when people talk about it excessively.
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#20 leozqin

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 03:31 AM

Its more like a chore for me. Something I do in a relationship, but wish I didn't have to do.



#21 Phoebe

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 03:40 AM

Had sex... alot when I was little... and never really liked it... 

 

Uhhhhhhhh, what do you mean by "when you were little"?

 

As far as the topic goes, I would say I enjoy kissing and cuddling, and anything much more than that doesn't feel good to me.


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#22 CBC.Radio.Girl

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 07:05 AM

Do any of you feel strong revulsion when you think about yourself having sex? Is it a very common feeling? Does it terrify you like it does me?

 

I sometimes/often feel a pang of something that I can really only describe as a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, combined with a certain sense of sadness and/or loss...

For what it's worth, I've had sex.


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#23 Serran

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 07:47 AM

To prove how foreign it always seemed to me.. I had to look up instructions on how to masturbate on the web cause I never quite made the connection of how that area is laid out and actually putting something into my body. Lol And after doing it at boyfriends requests, I didn't get the point. And sex is even more boggling, even though I have had it a bit.
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#24 Graceful

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 10:50 AM

YES. Very much so.
 
I've never had sex or any kind of sexual experience. And on some level, I do want that. But I can only imagine it with someone I'm already very intimate with. And even then, I can't really imagine myself in that kind of situation. It's very strange to me, perhaps because I'm so inexperienced? Or maybe because I'm grey? I don't know.
 
When people talk about it as if it's something fun and amazing, I'm a little grossed out. And confused. Because genitals are not "awesome" or "sexy" to me. Human waste comes out of there and you want to do what with it? Naked?

To prove how foreign it always seemed to me.. I had to look up instructions on how to masturbate on the web cause I never quite made the connection of how that area is laid out and actually putting something into my body. Lol And after doing it at boyfriends requests, I didn't get the point. And sex is even more boggling, even though I have had it a bit.

 
I didn't understand masturbation until after puberty. And apparently I didn't fully understand female masturbation until recently. It seems completely pointless and unhygienic to me. I'd rather pick my nose.

Had sex... alot when I was little... 

 
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#25 Dr.Mercury

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 11:37 AM

I suppose this person means "little" in like, "teenager" ;)



#26 CBC.Radio.Girl

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 01:52 PM

I didn't understand masturbation until after puberty. And apparently I didn't fully understand female masturbation until recently. It seems completely pointless and unhygienic to me. I'd rather pick my nose.


Haha. Yes, me too. Given the choice between having to do one or the other, I'd choose picking my nose in a heartbeat. It's gross, sure, and as it goes, I don't pick my nose (tissues and those Q-tip swabs work fine if necessary)... but hey, clean nasal passages are actually more appealing to me and sound a lot more satisfying than fiddling with my bits! :P Plus I'd rather touch the inside of my nose than down there, other than to wash myself. (And for some reason, nose-picking is actually less mentally/psychologically repulsive to me than masturbation is...)
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#27 & I'm a heretic

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 02:14 PM

Hahahaha. You guys are awesome.
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#28 podsnap

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Posted 12 February 2013 - 07:26 PM

It seems completely weird to me that other people take all their clothes off and get on top of each other when they're home alone together.


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#29 satinbird

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Posted 12 February 2013 - 07:27 PM

I read this question and felt a bit odd because yes, sometimes sex does feel foreign to me: like if I watch badly-made porn or something it's just like, what are you doing? And the idea of me doing that with someone else also feels weird... I'd really like to believe that penises don't exist unless I'm currently engaged with one.

 

BUT. I do really enjoy sex with the right person. It's a little awkward until I get warmed up and then I can just sort of "let go" and have a great time. But when I'm not in the moment (or fantasizing specifically about my lover) sex does feel like a weird concept.

 

^ I'm a demisexual so I'm just surprised I feel this way. It's like I have an asexual/sexual switch I'm not fully in control of.


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#30 Kitty Spoon Train

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Posted 12 February 2013 - 09:46 PM

It's like I have an asexual/sexual switch I'm not fully in control of.

 

That's exactly how I'd describe it.

 

There's a part of me that still feels like if I could just work out how to "use" that switch, I could basically be like a "normal" sexual. But I really have no idea what actually flips it. It seems to be a complex combination of internal factors, and just reaching a certain threshold of connecting where I feel like I know the "whole person". So I doubt it's something simple that can be found, and then used consciously to set off attraction for randoms. :lol:


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