In my mid-twenties, never had sex. Don't think I ever want to. If other people do it away from me, good for them, but talking about it to me feels so very, very akward. When I try to think about myself having sex, I physically flinch in my revulsion.
I've only figured out the basics of mastrubation this summer. I was desparate trying to find ways to 'fix' myself and get over my reluctance and fear of sex because it was getting in the way of my relationship (it had been going on for 4-years and I did feel like I loved him, but I couldn't even take my bra off infront of him). Were any of you disappointed by the results? The way pop culture depicts orgasm makes it seem earth shattering awesome, and I was left with the feeling of 'that's it?'. It did feel nice, and I do feel arousal, so I do still do it. Just disapointing.
In another attempt to fix myself by aclimatizing myself to sex, I managed to watch porn. That was weird. A lot of it doesn't seem very sexy, just very graphic, which grossed me out. I never realized how awkard it looks as well, pretty comical actually.
Do any of you feel strong revulsion when you think about yourself having sex? Is it a very common feeling? Does it terrify you like it does me?
"If you can't keep the bad thoughts out, at least you can make fun of them while they're there." - Harry Dresden, "Turn Coat"
I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on.