• Announcements

    • Kisa the Cat

      World Watch Archiving Project

      Hello everyone, Please read this thread before posting to World Watch Thank you.
    • Kelly

      New Moderators needed: Nominations   04/27/17

      Join the team! We need two new Moderators. See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/159067-new-moderator-needed-for-welcome-lounge-and-tea-and-sympathy-nominations/ http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/159068-new-moderator-member-needed-for-just-for-fun-and-the-alternate-language-forum-nominations/  
    • Kisa the Cat

      Avenues May/June   05/09/17

      Hello AVENites! The newest edition of AVENues is now ready! Our theme this time was "ace connections".  May/June
test account

Oldies fun thread

No, let's not bother with a title   15 members have voted

  1. 1. Why does there have to be a question?

    • I'm only filling this in because I like polls
      68
    • This poll sucks
      16
    • Dysphoria is my middle name
      22
    • Why is this even in Older Asexuals?
      27
    • Oops, I just read the explanation. Sorry.
      25
    • Actually I can see the funny side of this
      42
    • But I still don't approve
      23
    • Would the mods please remove this poll and thread topic?
      16
    • No, just the poll would be fine
      15
    • HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
      12
    • This poll bothers me
      11
    • I still can't find an answer I want to choose
      45
    • Can we please have some kittens now?
      65
    • I just ate a kitten
      43
    • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
      32
  2. 2. Oh look, we can add another question!

    • But this time you must choose only ONE answer because I control this poll!
      48
    • Okay then I'll choose this one.
      123

Please sign in or register to vote in this poll.

986 posts in this topic

I couldn't say, Fire Monkey :D but apparently the caution now also applies to "exceptionally naughty adults"! Make of that what you will :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Message on the blackboard at our local bakery: "Naughty unsupervised kids will be made into pies" :lol:

"What kind of pies?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ae50P_ajLxA

Depends on their fat content.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thought you might like an obscure Scottish joke (I'm Scots, so I can get away with this...)

3 cows in a field....which one is on holiday?

The one with the wee calf (get it? week off...) groan!

also, : English woman goes to a Scots wedding. she asks the nearest Scotsman wearing a kilt ' Is anything worn under the kilt?'

He replies: 'No madam, everything is in good working order!'......

Here's the last one for now....

How do you get a 50 pence piece out of a Scotsman's hand?

With a spanner!

(in the UK a 50 pence piece is an eight sided coin...)

No offence intended! Just fun...

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...Ok, here's the last one of the day!

How do you become a famous Scottish poet?

Just stand with your back to the fire till you're Rabbie Burns!


....I thank you! (bows)

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:lol:

384_PhotoKiltCartoon_zpsl7bgek2x.jpg

8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha! Brilliant!!!!

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here's an american joke I just heard.

A teacher says to the class 'Now when you write these essays, there are 2 words I don't want you to use - one's 'great' and the other is 'lousy'.

After a long silence, one class member puts up their hand and asks......'yes, but what are the words?'

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope we are all growing old disgracefully, and spending our kids/nearest relations inheritance.

Joke:- Did you know when a woman is happy, her sweat smells of onions.

That's because where there is a happy woman, there is a man in tears nearby.

Alright, alright. It's sexist, but that is the point of jokes. Instead of complaining how about a joke at mens expense. Also for those of us who are of a nonhetero inclination change man to woman, or woman to man. It still works.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fantastic! How daft are cats!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Two cheeky ones (literally and metaphorically).....

Did you hear about the constipated ballroom dancer? He couldn't Pasa Doble!

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He had to work it out with a pencil!

Yes, I hear you groan....

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've just bought a zimmer frame. It helps me get around. All I need now is a commode so I won't have to shit meself every time I sneeze! :laugh:

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was in the 3rd grade I told my first joke in front of the whole classroom:

What happened to the ant on the toilet?  It got pissed off.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fun? Us oldies? But most of us are older than 35 - or even 40? Fun my arse! That was f*ckin years ago! :laugh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, Modern Jazz Hands said:

Fun? Us oldies? But most of us are older than 35 - or even 40? Fun my arse! That was f*ckin years ago! :laugh:

Oldies fun thread, it's an oxymoron. 🙃

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

funny-pics-funny-quotes-funny-sayings-fu\\

Or at least until I find a dog...

9 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't reproduce the art work that came with this, but perhaps the caption will suffice :lol:

 

Picture of a (slightly less than jolly) Santa in traditional red suit: caption reads:

"Australia is on my naughty list for stealing oil (reference to the Timor Sea oil field boundary dispute) . . . but I can't really give them more coal" !!!

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haven't been able to find this for so long...I used to use it all the time 

 

dragon-1_zps9694ceac.gif dragon-1_zps9694ceac.gif dragon-1_zps9694ceac.gifdragon-1_zps9694ceac.gif dragon-1_zps9694ceac.gif dragon-1_zps9694ceac.gif

7 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Image result for bouncing tigger animatedImage result for bouncing tigger animatedImage result for bouncing tigger animated

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

These are two of my favorite oldies: 

 

 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

speaking of classic music, i was in dublin these past 2 days and got myself a 2 cd collection of dusty springfield

i like her stuff whenever BBC 6 music plays it so I decided to get it.

 

 

 

i also bought billie marten's album but this is might be the wrong thread for that.

 

i also just did a google search and billie marten was not yet born when dusty springfield died though 3 months apart

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just went to the 40th anniversary tour event of Carlos Santana.  I had seen him in concert over 40 years ago when he was only the "warm up band" for Chicago.  It was great to see him again and to know that the old geezer can still lay down the riffs.  And he always hires the most excellent young musicians to tour with him.  Real talent doesn't get old.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, SilverFlower said:

I just went to the 40th anniversary tour event of Carlos Santana.  I had seen him in concert over 40 years ago when he was only the "warm up band" for Chicago.  It was great to see him again and to know that the old geezer can still lay down the riffs.  And he always hires the most excellent young musicians to tour with him.  Real talent doesn't get old.

Thanks for sharing :)

 

I'm curious, who was he supporting 40 years ago?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, iff said:

Thanks for sharing :)

 

I'm curious, who was he supporting 40 years ago?

There was a really famous band called "Chicago" back in the day.   Not that the concert was in the city of Chicago.  Sorry that may have been a little vague.

My Dad was a big "Chicago" fan and he took me to the concert because Mom was more of a jazz fan.  I didn't have a driver's license yet so I was maybe 14 or so.  Neither of us knew who this Santana guy was but we listened and said, "Hey, he is pretty good.  He might be famous someday". :)

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks @SilverFlower I read it absolutely wrong this morning :) one day, maybe a support act i've seen will make it big :D 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great music postings, @Peterson515 and @iff.I keep forgetting the fantastic Doris Day did that song before the cover by the Mamas and Papas.

We were all mad about Carlos Santana  when I was a teen. I need that slogan on a t shirt @Bonnie888, sure it's around on Merchandace.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now