Reading this has baffled me. To the point I'm not even really sure what I think about it.
Let's first examine the word "gay". This word, initially primarily used as a synonym of "happy", "cheerful", "bright" was adopted by the homosexual community as a term of self-identification. Some people would consider this a ruining of the word "gay". You know, the homophobic bigots that feel the gay community has stolen a perfectly straight word and destroyed it.
Onward! Exhibit B is the word "queer". This word is used to describe something, or someone, that is "peculiar", "strange", "abnormal". "Well that's a queer thing, isn't it?" I assume it also became a way of describing homosexuals because they ARE abnormal within a society were heterosexuality is perceived as normal. I imagined it became a derogatory term of sorts. "Stupid queer." Or maybe it is the words surrounding it or the connotation that the speaker uses that makes such an innocent word derogatory.
Finally there is the word "weird". I pick this word because it is often a term people embrace happily. I find myself saying "I'm weird and proud!" But weird isn't exactly a good word to apply to oneself. At least not historically. Weird: strange - odd - peculiar - quaint - uncanny - bizarre. As I child I remember it an insult to be called weird. "You're weird!" *le gasp*
But it seems we have this way of taking words an twisting them into our own. And we also have a way of using derogatory terms affectionately. If you're the right person saying it to the right person. "Nigga, what's up?" <- affectionate. "You are such a flaming faggot. <3" <- affectionate. The affectionate use of the word "bitch." They're still words that can be very very very offensive. And I apologize if the examples offends anyone.
In any case, if asexuals want to adopt the word "queer" and use it in a positive way that is fine. Just like I find "weird" to be complimentary to me. LGBT community does not have a right over "queer" and it is an all encompassing word to describe sexual minorities or people not blatantly heterosexual. So if you're asexy and hetero, be as queer as you'd like!
As for asexuals being part of the LGBT community... The politics of this make me sick. I feel that being allies, as a sexual minority and sexually-different community, is a good relationship between Asexies and LGBT. I don't really see the point in forcing the A into the LGBT, even if a large portion of the LGBT community is welcoming to that. But definitely, most definitely, we ought to have an "alliance" and support each other. We're all abnormal here. We're all struggling to understand ourselves and educate the world in tolerance. Some have it harder than others.
"Sensei, why do people want to categorize themselves? Do they want to put people in little drawers with labels stuck on the outside? ... I don't have labels for myself now. I don't care what people think of me, or what they choose to call me." - Higa Sahako (Pieta)
Toni: "You're having babies! Boys or girls? Or a boy and a girl?"
Tasi: "I don't know. I don't think I want to know. This is their only chance to be loved without all the... you know... the pinks or blues, trucks or barbies. I just want them to be loved, no matter who they are."