I want a close relationship, but I don't want sex

[Falling Leaf]

I like being on my own and I find traditional romantic relationships very stressful and draining. I identify as aromantic, and asexual and I really wish I didn't. I have a few friendships, but I'm at the age where most of my friends are getting married, moving away and having children, which means a lot of my friendships aren't as close-knit as they used to be.

I would like to have a really close non-sexual, non-romantic relationship with somone for companionship. I'd like to be around someone who shares my interests, isn't needy or clingy, and has an upbeat personality. It does not matter whether this person is male or female. I'm familiar with the term 'queer platonic partnership' and I think that might be right up my alley.

Everyone keeps telling me to get a boyfriend but I find heterosexual male sex drives repugnant, and I cannot tolerate their constant groping and lecherous stares, nor the cheesy romantic stuff like bouquets of roses and kissing/cuddling. My family thinks I'm being immature, and has told me to just put out and tolerate it. I know all relationships are give and take but sex is something I just don't find pleasurable (it's not a physical thing - masturbation is fine, sex is horrific, degrading), and I'm not willing to partake in such an activity as often as most men/women want it.

I get energy from spending time on my own, but it would be nice to have someone there sometimes. It's difficult to explain but I want to be around someone that I'm so comfortable with, it feels kind of like being on my own but less lonely. I don't know if that makes sense. I believe most people find this in romantic relationships, but I just can't take the romance and sex that goes with them. There is also the matter of finances/utility. In this tough world, everything is made for two and I cannot afford to live on my own without someone else to help with the bills. I work a regular 9-5 job and I have a univeristy education, but I can't seem to find anything out there that offers me the stability and salary I'd need to purchase my own home, so a little bit of help would be nice.

I really, desperately want to be sexual and romantic so I can have this type of relationship, but medications, therapy, hypnosis - all of these options fail me. A partnership like the one I described seems to exist only in my imagination. It's so frustrating. It's like the whole world is obsessed with romantic, sexual relationships and there's no room for anything else. Twice I thought I had this, or at least, could have this with someone but it turned out to be a scam. The first time I don't know what happened but it didn't work, and the second time the individual was clearly hoping I'd change my mind about sex after seeing them naked (which only made me punch him in the face).

This post sounds really pathetic, but I'm so confused! I like being alone, and consider myself my own best friend, but I want companionship? Anyone else feel like this?

[Roy M.]

We're a social species. It's to be expected that we might want company at least a little. A lot of great and fun things in this world require at least one other person, like most games.

[Falling Leaf]

We're a social species. It's to be expected that we might want company at least a little. A lot of great and fun things in this world require at least one other person, like most games.

Yes! I agree! ^_^ And sharing good news, and intelligent conversation.

[Kitty Spoon Train]

I can relate. You sound a lot like me actually - except that I'm demisexual so I can eventually deal with a pretty standard sexual relationship with the right person, but all the other stuff is very relateable. eg. I absolutely hate romantic cliché.

My personal issue is more that I'm extremely independent and introverted by nature, to the point where I really don't think I could handle cohabitation, not even with the best matches I've ever found. I'd rather just live close by so we can see each other as much as we like, but otherwise retain independent homes and lives. And yes, I know, it all just sounds like being a classic commitment-phobe. Whatever. :D

Anyway, this is all a common pattern with those of us on the asexual spectrum (as well as plenty of "sexuals" who are highly independent people). Society is geared around romantic/sexual pair-bonding, so if you're trying to live any other way, it's hard to fit in and find like-minded people.

[Falling Leaf]

Thank you, Guzica! Yes, I feel the same way I would love to have an arrangment where I retain my independence. One thing I really hated about relationships was this co-dependence that developed. A friend would invite me out somewhere, but I had to check with my SO to make sure 'we' didn't have plans. Neither of us could make any decisions without discussing things first. It got really old quick. I loved the companionship aspect but hated everything else about relationships. It was nice to have someone to laugh with over inside jokes, and someone you could talk to about anything without fear of being judged, but when it came time to have sex I just could not do it. It was boring, and demeaning, even though my partner genuinely cared about me and treated me tenderly. It just felt wrong. I could orgasm but I didn't feel any type of excitement. I am also repulsed by the 'girlfriend' role I get stuck in. If the roles were reversed I might not mind so much.

Is there such a thing as reverse demisexual? It's weird, because sometimes I'll see an aesthetically pleasing person and think somewhat sexually about them, but once I get to know them all sexual feelings fade away. I also think I'd like sex if it happened like it did in books and movies (minus all of the tedius romance) but in real life it's so boring and uncomfortable. I get really turned off by how 'porn-like' sex is with all of the weird noises, and awkward fumbling. I don't get turned on by my partner so watching them get all worked up looks really silly and embarrassing from my perspective and I feel bad admitting this but I lose respect for them. And they start to feel bad because I'm not enjoying it, so then I have to pretend and I'm the worst actor ever. Kissing and cuddling just make me feel really embarrassed and detached from the other person. It's more of a chore and one I'd rather not do.

Sorry to rant. I'm just having trouble understanding myself and this really helps. I'm still not sure whether I'm truly asexual/aromantic or just abnormal. I'm seeing a therapist, but I don't know if even that will help me.

[dezdimona]

Totally relate! Want to buy my own house but lack the cash. Would love more close platonic functional relationships but... right now... oh well Happy new year!

[Kitty Spoon Train]

Thank you, Guzica! Yes, I feel the same way I would love to have an arrangment where I retain my independence. One thing I really hated about relationships was this co-dependence that developed. A friend would invite me out somewhere, but I had to check with my SO to make sure 'we' didn't have plans. Neither of us could make any decisions without discussing things first. It got really old quick. I loved the companionship aspect but hated everything else about relationships.

Yeah. I've had a similar history. Even with my most toxic and dysfunctional past relationships I can look back with fondness at some of that basic companionship aspect. But then everything else feels like this silly unwanted fluff that just shouldn't be there. In the back of my mind there was always a little voice saying - "Why the HECK can't we just enjoy the nice moments and treat it more like a close friendship, rather than bring all this weird romantic-relationship-specific politics into it - which ruins it?!"

I have days where I almost consider that I'm aro. Aro but with a desire for sensual touch with the right people, and maybe sex eventually if everything falls into place just right. But no, I don't think I am. There's definitely a different mental configuration involved when I have that warm and fuzzy "romantic" wish to bond with someone - and the desired bond definitely has a different quality to it, although it's very hard to explain how it's different, except for the tender touching aspect.

[Falling Leaf]

Thank you both for responding!

Guzica, I feel the same way about relationship politicks and all of the other BS that goes with it (in particular, the sh*tty gender dynamics). I've thought the same way many times when I was in a relationship. I'd like to keept the companionship and ditch everything else. I don't need physical affection, just that intellectual connection would be nice.

I don't know if anyone has noticed this, but if I have a boyfriend it's almost like he's expecting me to ditch my family in favor of becoming integrated into his. He doesn't try to consciously isolate me, but it's almost like he views his family as more important than mine, and that sentiment seems to be echoed by my parents because in the end I'll be joining his family (the taking of the last name and all that bunk). This might just be specific to my family/culture, but it's really distressing. I've never liked anyone enough to fully integrate into their lives and leave pieces of my own behind.

I kind of miss having a group of really close knit friends like I did in school. It's not like my friends totally ditched me now that they're married or starting their own lives, it's just that the the friendship isn't the same. I don't quite relate to their lifestyle and they're always so busy doing their own thing they really don't have much time for anything else. In a way, I really like that my friends are getting married because their husbands and wives also become my friends. It's completely understandable that I take a back seat in their lives now that they're dealing with mortgages, marriage, family planning, etc... but I still don't have to like it.

Because of our different lifestyles, there are aspects of my friends' lives that I cannot relate to and vice versa. There is no disapproval or belittling, just a frank lack of understanding. I'd like to feel like I'm on the same wavelength as someone again. Everyone keeps treating me like I'm 'resisting adulthood' but despite what you may think from reading my posts, I'm a mature person. I work, and I'm independent, I have my own beliefs and live my own lifestyle. I'm very responsible and I'm excited to grow older and take on more responsibility, I just can't stomach romantic, sexual relationships.

[Kitty Spoon Train]

Guzica, I feel the same way about relationship politicks and all of the other BS that goes with it (in particular, the sh*tty gender dynamics). I've thought the same way many times when I was in a relationship. I'd like to keept the companionship and ditch everything else. I don't need physical affection, just that intellectual connection would be nice.

I actually do need physical affection, even though an intellectual and emotional connection of a certain kind is the bulk of what I actually bond over. But still, without a certain kind of tender touch it just wouldn't feel entirely complete, when they're there at least. Not being allowed to cuddle and tenderly touch with someone I have that kind of connection with IRL would feel roughly the same as not being allowed to make eye contact while talking. Just an odd and cold "holding back" of something, that feels like it should be there as a physical manifestation of the emotional closeness.

When I think about it, with pretty much all my ex girlfriends, it feels like we should have just gone back to being close friends / cuddle buddies after working out that we can't be anything "more" (if not have been that all along in the first place). It annoys me that there's even such a rigid binary divide over what constitutes "friendship vs romance", and I think this is why it doesn't work. It was always a case of either, or. You're either in a relationship, or else you have to completely keep your hands off each other, there's nothing in-between. To me the in-between is probably the main type of relationship that actually makes sense - as you say - companionship without any of the stereotypical "romantic relationship" bollocks.

It's funny when you work out what you actually want, but then it turns out that what you want is just too strange for most people - even though it actually sounds really really simple. :lol:

[Falling Leaf]

Thanks for the insight Guzica! I'm not sure if things would be easier for me if I liked cuddling! I'm not the cuddly type and goodness knows I've tried! LOL! But I definitely see what you're saying about romance vs. friendship. I imagine it's quite frustrating because the people I've dated don't seem to understand comfort zones and 'cuddle thresholds' (which for me is really low). Even simply snuggling on the couch and watching a movie led to boner-city and then unwanted groping, and an attempt to initiate sex. Refusing only made me look like a 'tease' and a huge argument always followed.

No matter how clearly I communicated, it's like my partner didn't want to listen. They kept thinking that eventually I'd change my mind. It's almost like they refused to believe I didn't find sex enjoyable. I feel like my idea of companionship would seem like borderline psychological and emotional abuse for most people. I'm not willing to compromise on sex, and I don't have much interest in cuddling. My family tells me if I'm going to be that way I'd better prepare to live the rest of my life on my own, devoid of companionship. Clearly I'm asking too much. It makes me angry that companionship has to be so closely paired with romance and sex.

You're right, this should all be so simple, but it's not! I don't hate sex, it's just not for me, but I'm really starting to despise it now that it has become this great big roadblock to my happiness.

[Bunyip]

I'm dealing with this now. For many years I thought I was a lesbian and then I wondered if I might be bi-sexual because I got the odd crush on both men and women. Finally it dawned on me that I didn't want sex - hand-holding and cuddling is ok but nothing more. I'm almost 48, haven't had sex with anyone since I was 27 (and never enjoyed the few sexual experiences I had) and have finally come to understand that I'm asexual with romantic tendancies. Took my time but as they say, better late than never! So I just joined this site and am hoping to get a better understanding of it all.

I enjoy spending time alone - in fact need it - but I'd also like to have someone with whom to share experiences. When I was younger, having a good social circle was all I needed; if I wanted company it was just a phone call away. But now that I'm older and all my close friends have formed longterm partnerships, the nature of our friendships has changed and I find myself increasingly alone. Also, I moved to another country 9 years ago and I haven't been able to make any real close friendships here. A few years ago that didn't bother me but now I think about getting older and being alone and I'm not sure I want to be in that situation. Do you think it's possible to be in a close relationship with someone, where you share your life in all aspects except there's no sex? I don't want to be attached to the hip, I'm too independent for that, but is it asking too much to want to be with someone, where to all intents and purposes, the relationship is exclusive?

[Breathing Notes]

Very few people like to be alone all their adult life. It does get old, at some point. :)

I think these days it's so "in" to want to be independent, and grow an ego of steel. However we should never forget that we're social individuals. Ask an elderly person that lives alone how much they crave company.

We should really value friendship and companionship and NEVER take it for granted, like it's a thing you just have to put in the charger every once in a while like all our utilities, phones, computers, and whatnot.

It's so painfully rare to form a genuinely mutual friendship in adult life.

Most people get together because of sex and romance, but when sex goes wrong and becomes boring people split up.

*Some* people find friendship in adult life, and that's my own motivation to never give up. My grandmother met a man in her late 60s and she ended up spending the rest of her life with him (no sex/romance involved, AFAIK).

[highcakedrive]

I feel the same way. I've thought about the possibility of marrying an asexual who wants companionship to avoid being alone while not needing sex. I don't want to be with someone who has sexual urges because,well, ew.

[dezdimona]

Thank you both for responding!

Guzica, I feel the same way about relationship politicks and all of the other BS that goes with it (in particular, the sh*tty gender dynamics). I've thought the same way many times when I was in a relationship. I'd like to keept the companionship and ditch everything else. I don't need physical affection, just that intellectual connection would be nice.

I don't know if anyone has noticed this, but if I have a boyfriend it's almost like he's expecting me to ditch my family in favor of becoming integrated into his. He doesn't try to consciously isolate me, but it's almost like he views his family as more important than mine, and that sentiment seems to be echoed by my parents because in the end I'll be joining his family (the taking of the last name and all that bunk). This might just be specific to my family/culture, but it's really distressing. I've never liked anyone enough to fully integrate into their lives and leave pieces of my own behind.

I kind of miss having a group of really close knit friends like I did in school. It's not like my friends totally ditched me now that they're married or starting their own lives, it's just that the the friendship isn't the same. I don't quite relate to their lifestyle and they're always so busy doing their own thing they really don't have much time for anything else. In a way, I really like that my friends are getting married because their husbands and wives also become my friends. It's completely understandable that I take a back seat in their lives now that they're dealing with mortgages, marriage, family planning, etc... but I still don't have to like it.

Some, not all still have the ancient view, how can two people connect when one thinks that they are more important.... no. I savour equal relationships and if anyone can offer that, well they are in the club. The rest can scurry along. I would never change my name if I married, after all I would be the one to give birth to the children and be the one to raise them, so they should have my name actually to carry forward, or both but the guy would have to contribute to the raising of the child if he expects it.

[truthseeker30]

Dezdimona, your comment coupled with some other stuff I read today (The Selfish Gene) sparks an interesting thought - why is it the male surname that is traditionally taken, when you can be far more certain of who your mother is than who your father is?!

[dezdimona]

Dezdimona, your comment coupled with some other stuff I read today (The Selfish Gene) sparks an interesting thought - why is it the male surname that is traditionally taken, when you can be far more certain of who your mother is than who your father is?!

I was told on a tour of Heritage Park when I lived in Calgary that last names were quiet often what people did for a living. Like if someone was a blacksmith or baker that eventually would be attached to the last name with property holdings. But what is strange is that it isn't universal that it is the mans name that is taken, knew a guy from El Salvador and what they do there is hypenate and have both names, when the children marry they take only the mothers name into the marriage. Hmmm

[pushover]

Thank you both for responding!

Guzica, I feel the same way about relationship politicks and all of the other BS that goes with it (in particular, the sh*tty gender dynamics). I've thought the same way many times when I was in a relationship. I'd like to keept the companionship and ditch everything else. I don't need physical affection, just that intellectual connection would be nice.

I don't know if anyone has noticed this, but if I have a boyfriend it's almost like he's expecting me to ditch my family in favor of becoming integrated into his. He doesn't try to consciously isolate me, but it's almost like he views his family as more important than mine, and that sentiment seems to be echoed by my parents because in the end I'll be joining his family (the taking of the last name and all that bunk). This might just be specific to my family/culture, but it's really distressing. I've never liked anyone enough to fully integrate into their lives and leave pieces of my own behind.

I kind of miss having a group of really close knit friends like I did in school. It's not like my friends totally ditched me now that they're married or starting their own lives, it's just that the the friendship isn't the same. I don't quite relate to their lifestyle and they're always so busy doing their own thing they really don't have much time for anything else. In a way, I really like that my friends are getting married because their husbands and wives also become my friends. It's completely understandable that I take a back seat in their lives now that they're dealing with mortgages, marriage, family planning, etc... but I still don't have to like it.

Because of our different lifestyles, there are aspects of my friends' lives that I cannot relate to and vice versa. There is no disapproval or belittling, just a frank lack of understanding. I'd like to feel like I'm on the same wavelength as someone again. Everyone keeps treating me like I'm 'resisting adulthood' but despite what you may think from reading my posts, I'm a mature person. I work, and I'm independent, I have my own beliefs and live my own lifestyle. I'm very responsible and I'm excited to grow older and take on more responsibility, I just can't stomach romantic, sexual relationships.

If, as you say, you are becoming more mature and responsible, don't you know what is ahead of you when you talk of family, marriage, same name? There's more to life than just yours; there's his. What's in this for him and what would you have to offer to keep things moving along in the "long haul". I'm not trying to pee on anyone's parade but I have spent many years (unaware) in that go-round and it's a rough road. And I would also say to anyone wanting to take that trip, put children into that equation and it's a rough rough road. I agree with "do your own thing", be successful, be happy, but don't jump into that just to keep up with the Joneses

[freemouse]

First of all, I want to say to the person who started this post that you are NOT being unreasonable or ridiculous in your desires and plans, and don't let anyone convince you any differently. If 6,999,999,999 people out of 7 billion felt that this one particular way to live was right for them, that absolutely does not mean that that is the right lifestyle for you. Choose your life as if no one is judging. Be blind to the lifestyles of everyone else when evaluating your own, because their lifestyles don't have to define yours.

That being said, you are NOT the only 1 in 7 billion that feels the way you do, and I am 100% convinced that there are other people looking for the same things you are, I just can't tell you how to find them. I can empathize with a lot of the things you mentioned, like the idea of having an aromantic, asexual, and exclusive friend-relationship type of companionship with someone. Like a roommate you can easily get along with, but is not involved with anyone else. You can hang out together and bond in any way you want, but when it comes down to it you live your own life and they live theirs. I've recently become a cuddler, but otherwise I think the simple companion idea could be just what I need. It makes perfect sense, and there's nothing wrong with wanting that.

Another thing I empathize with very much is your apparent hatred for gender roles. I LOOOOATHE gender roles and expectations, and I hate that relationships or friendships, or even brief encounters with complete strangers results in a mess of gender expectations, especially for women.

Here random stranger woman, let me open the door for you, because you're a frail little lady. I fucking have arms, thank you.

Women always take their husband's names when they get married. You would do it if you love me. If you love me enough to marry me, you will do so whether my name is Wilma Husbandswife or Mary Kiss-my-lily-white-arse von Schneedledrums.

Gender expectations are bullshit, and that is mild. I hope you do punch anyone in the face (or the nads) who would try to force you into those pigeon-hole ideas. But that's the rage in me talking... I suppose I should be encouraging people to simply respond peacefully and educate, and respect people's opinions, but it's awfully difficult to "respect" an opinion that by its very nature disrespects me and the people I care about. I realize that there are expectations placed on men too, but as one who has been subjected to the expectations placed on women, that tends to be where most of my fury is directed.

Anyway, I just wanted to answer your question that yes, someone else feels that way. Do not be ashamed to be the way you are. I'm with you on this one.

[Purnkin Spurce]

I can relate. You sound a lot like me actually - except that I'm demisexual so I can eventually deal with a pretty standard sexual relationship with the right person, but all the other stuff is very relateable. eg. I absolutely hate romantic cliché.

My personal issue is more that I'm extremely independent and introverted by nature, to the point where I really don't think I could handle cohabitation, not even with the best matches I've ever found. I'd rather just live close by so we can see each other as much as we like, but otherwise retain independent homes and lives. And yes, I know, it all just sounds like being a classic commitment-phobe. Whatever. :D

Anyway, this is all a common pattern with those of us on the asexual spectrum (as well as plenty of "sexuals" who are highly independent people). Society is geared around romantic/sexual pair-bonding, so if you're trying to live any other way, it's hard to fit in and find like-minded people.

I'm the same way too, cept for the demi part. I'm wanting a close relationship where we are super comfortable with each other, but we are not so attatched at the hip that we have to live together. I've always disliked the idea of sharing a bed with a partner or a room. I've thought of living super close to them so we could walk to each other's houses and date that way. It would leave a little mystery too. ^_^

[Kagon]

To the OP: I get where you're coming from. Ideally, I'd like a close, close friendship thats there when I want companionship and contact (I'm partial to cuddles, but ONLY from those I'm REALLY close with), but free to leave me be myself and do my own thing. There are some aspects of a romantic relationship that I *do* miss, but I would be stifled by something "clingy".

Some background on me - I spent 2 years in a relationship trying very, VERY hard to be something and someone I'm not because I cared for my partner. This isn't fair for either side. Constant pressure on my part to be something I wasn't was completely unhealthy and made me miserable, and my partner constantly having needs unsatisfied left him miserable.

Also, you are NOT abnormal, unreasonable, or ridiculous. You are you. Be you, and be true to yourself. You owe that to yourself, don't let anyone try to take it from you. Its not their life that they have to live in. I know that doesn't make anything any less hard, but hopefully having found a community with other people dealing with similar issues helps. I'd send you hugs, but it seems that isn't your thing ;-D

I'm lucky enough to have a roommate that I'm great friends with, and my situation provides about maybe 90% of what I'd be looking for in a "relationship" anyway. But, aside from the time we're in same room watching TV or talking or the rare occasion that one of us wants a movie buddy, we're still totally independent of each other. While I was friends with my roommate before we moved under one roof, we definately became closer friends once we did. If your living situation supports it (spare room, flexible lease etc) would looking for a roommate be something you'd consider? I know an old friend from college used a website to find a roommate while looking to split bills a few years ago.

[Member54880]

x

[< retired >]

Do you think it's possible to be in a close relationship with someone, where you share your life in all aspects except there's no sex? I don't want to be attached to the hip, I'm too independent for that, but is it asking too much to want to be with someone, where to all intents and purposes, the relationship is exclusive?

The 'sweet spot' for how much is shared and how much is separate varies from person to person. The trick is finding someone with a 'sweet spot' compatible with your own. I probably prefer much more to be separate than the average woman my age, although I don't have much data to back up this proposition.

I'm slowly moving away from the 'exclusivity' model of relationships. The great thing about a poly relationship is that no woman will be justified in asking me, "Why aren't you making me happy?" My response would be, "Sorry, but I never signed up for that job." Many hands make light work! :)

[ithaca]

Sorry for being short, I have read the title "I want a close relationship, but I don't want sex" and thought "Oh well, welcome to the club!" :lol:

[Kirenisa]

This is an old topic so sorry for bring up old posts but as I read this, THIS IS EXACTLY how I feel (I'm a girl) and all my male friends who "like" me always seems to have an interest in sex to an extreme and it's frustrating because I don't find sex appealing I find it repulsive and annoying.

[marmalade-cats]

I'm kinda in the same boat. My ideal relationship would be with a guy who has compatible interests to mine, would go to cons and dress up and just dork around with me. I just want someone who I can have fun with over everything else, who I can trust and love and just share everything with.

Pretty much I just want a normal, standard relationship, but without the sexual portion. I just have to try and be patient enough to wait for someone who will be willing to do that with me.

[pinki]

i also feel the same way dear... feel depressed

[Whispearl]

I understand exactly how you feel, because that's what I want too! I don't intend to get married or engage in any sort of romantic or sexual relationship, but the companionship would be nice and helpful. Fortunately for me, my best friend and I made a plan- if neither of us marry by the time we're 40, we'll live together and adopt babies and sleep in separate beds, and throw a big wedding just for fun! This friend of mine isn't even asexual, which shows that there are so many people willing to have this type of relationship with people. Don't worry, you'll find someone!

[pinki]

WOW you have such a nice best friend.. u must be living in an amazing country dear. India is a shit we cant find any such relationship here. i hate our customs and abhor the practice of marrying someone unwillingly

[pfunk08]

I completely relate to this. I spent years through high school/college trying to make "romantic" relationships work. Looking back at those relationships now, I have realized I was only happy in the early-ish phases when it was essentially a very close friendship. Once the girl I was with pushed the various relationships into a more romantic realm, the relationships became increasingly stressful and emotionally draining for me the longer I was in them. After reading through experiences here, I have come to realize I am probably aromantic, and that, at the time, I experienced sensual attraction for the girls I was with. My confusion of sensual attraction for romantic attraction probably added to the confusion of the relationships because I associated that with "romance" but couldn't read any of the romantic signals the girls I dated were sending me.

I've spent the past few years alone and I have been much happier than I was forcing myself into all of those romantic situations. At the same time, I feel it would be great to have a companion in my life because I really enjoy cuddling/kissing/making out but only with someone I am close to emotionally. Unfortunately, I have found my interest in those activities will be misconstrued as romantic/sexual interest and my partner will seek something I am unable to comfortably provide.

[starstheylevitate]

Even the most introverted people like having some kind of partner sometimes or need to be social in some way. I think in time you will find a close friend you would be able to do that with. It's hard for people like us, but we need to be patient and hopeful.

By the way, don't just 'put out and tolerate it' as your family may insist. Things that we simply do not want aren't good for us...even if it's the 'norm.' Only do what makes you happy.

I hope you find a companion! :) Best of luck