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'Eye candy' still relevant to asexual?


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I am still a bit confused as to where the line is drawn for asexuality..perhaps this would actually fall under demi-sexual.

Where does 'good looks' fall under sexual attraction and just looking good? I've always identified as an asexual, since I've never experience attraction from what I have come to read and understand. There's only one case that can make me say, "Ooh~" when I look at a physically attractive man. In all other instances I am oblivious to it, answering with a 'meh.' (Or in the extremity, an 'ew')

But just because I find someone good looking, it does not mean I suddenly feel attracted for sex. And really, it is such a tiny small margin for this example. It's just like seeing their face. They are cute, but never hot.

So would this be demisexual, or still asexual? Or something else?

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I'm not totally sure how to categorize/name this stuff yet since I'm new to all this, but I'm totally in the same situation! When I see how guys, people don't understand why all I want to do is look, but not touch. My guess though is that as long as it's not sexual attraction, it's just asexual? It could be seen as similar to how gay men can tell if women are pretty or not even if they're not attracted to women.

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Faust Darkwell

You can be asexual and still find people aesthetically attractive. It has nothing to do with sex. Think of it this way: plenty of women will tell other women they're pretty, but it doesn't mean they want to have sex with them.

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what you're talking about sounds a lot like aesthetic attraction rather than sexual attraction, so still pretty much asexual.. I'm sure several of us (myself included) can look at someone and say that he/she is good looking - perhaps even turn a head from time to time - but if it doesn't give you the feeling or urge to 'jump them' ever (or some similar feeling, not quite sure exactly what that would be) then it's not really sexual attraction.... think of it like looking at a really nice car, it can still turn your head but chances are you don't suddenly feel like getting naked from looking at it

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Kitty Spoon Train

38702878018041791_79r2LwDQ_c.jpg

Picture. Thousand words. All that. :)

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scottimus prime
I'm not totally sure how to categorize/name this stuff yet since I'm new to all this, but I'm totally in the same situation! When I see how guys, people don't understand why all I want to do is look, but not touch. My guess though is that as long as it's not sexual attraction, it's just asexual? It could be seen as similar to how gay men can tell if women are pretty or not even if they're not attracted to women.

I'm in the same boat. I experience aesthetic attraction (towards both men and women) and I would also describe the feeling as "look but don't touch". I don't experience any sexual attraction/desire when I look at other people, regardless of how beautiful they are.

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This is one of the ways I feel like I'm in a minority even among aces, but I pretty much never experience aesthetic attraction. Just about anyone can doll themselves up to look what most people would consider "pretty", but I only see it as a mask hiding what's potentially interesting about the other person. In some cases, if they expend way too much effort trying to pretty themselves up, to me that says something about the person right there.

Also, to the OP, I think demisexuality is something a little different from what you think... it's when you can experience sexual attraction but it is restricted only to people that you already feel a close connection to, typically a romantic one but not necessarily so. In other words, it's not something you would ever experience for the stranger across the street.

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Kitty Spoon Train
This is one of the ways I feel like I'm in a minority even among aces, but I pretty much never experience aesthetic attraction. Just about anyone can doll themselves up to look what most people would consider "pretty", but I only see it as a mask hiding what's potentially interesting about the other person. In some cases, if they expend way too much effort trying to pretty themselves up, to me that says something about the person right there.

You know that saying "beauty is only skin deep"?

Corollary: Both beauty and ugliness also exist on the inside. These are the ones that really matter, and they can't be hidden for long.

I experience aesthetic attraction all right. But the impact it has on how I'll ultimately relate to people (ie choose one for a partner or not) is close to zero. Not being conventionally good looking is easily compensated for (to me anyway) by being a kind and beautiful person. But the other way around? Meh, it's like polishing a turd.

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Perhaps another way to explain is that it's a bit like looking at a painting. You can see the effort and style the artist put into their work, and what they put greater detail into, and how much of it. Depending on your tastes and preference, you'll think if it's nice to look at or not.

Of course, you can't tell everything about the artist from looking at a painting. You'd have to go up and meet them yourself to get to know them.

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Janus the Fox

Im very similar in terms of attraction types. I find this "eye candy" with both guys and girls. It's aesthetic attraction for which nothing else is connected with it like the desire to be with them, nothing in terms of romantic attraction or thinking/crushes and such and certainly nothing in terms of sexual attraction and raw desire to have sex with them or any physiological response. Though I don't self generalise, it just fell a little different every time since I have difficulties neurologically processing socialistic information including relational type attractions.

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MrBigglesworth

I'm totally in to the aesthetic but it doesn't mean terribly much. I admire a beautiful woman as much as the next person. It doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to that person. I don't think there's anything at all wrong with "Wow she's hot. I wold *totally* go there. And by 'there' I'm referring to hot cocoa and a cuddle. And by 'hot cocoa' I really do mean hot cocoa"

I was talking to someone about this very subject the other day. I said I admire a fine décolletage as much as the next person - or not I don't know. But I just admire it, that's it. As I said to the person I was talking to at the time, if they asked me if I wanted to "get at their tits" (yes I had been drinking) my answer would have been "meh"

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I agree - i can see pretty or good looking in both males/females (tho they can become quite ugly if the personality doesnt match). Can honestly say, i have never thought any person was "hot" or so whatever, that i would want to jump in the sack w/them. There just is no sexual attraction, anything that would motivate me to have sex or desire sex.

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I once described my attraction to others as, when i see a pretty person, I want to put them in a little box and put it on my shelf so I can pull the box out and look at them. I'm not really interested in the person, I dont want to be with them, I just like that pticular body the person is wearing and i like to look at it.

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Kitty Spoon Train
I once described my attraction to others as, when i see a pretty person, I want to put them in a little box and put it on my shelf so I can pull the box out and look at them. I'm not really interested in the person, I dont want to be with them, I just like that pticular body the person is wearing and i like to look at it.

Heh, this reminds me of a description of Aesthetic Attraction which I once read somewhere (might have been on AVEN ages ago even). Paraphrased:

"When I see someone pretty, I just want to take them home and hang them on my wall so I can look at them whenever I want."

:lol:

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Wow, I was just talking about this exact thing earlier today. And I totally agree with the answer of aestheic atraction, I totally appreciate a person who has a pleasing form, beautiful lines and well put together and all that. Hell, I even used the connection to art in that conversation. I love looking at a beautiful statue...doesn't mean I want to shag it, heh.

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Considering I make a living with drawing 'pleasing' forms. I learned a long time ago to separate sexual attraction from aesthetic attraction. I can find someone pleasing to look at. I'm not going to be dribbling all over myself from lust. I can be 'sexually' attracted to someone and not find them aesthetic in the least! I think people just need to stop worrying that just because something or someone is 'pretty' that it has anything to do with sex and not just what our eyes have been trained to look for since we where conceived.

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"When I see someone pretty, I just want to take them home and hang them on my wall so I can look at them whenever I want."

Hanging people is bad, 'mkaaaay? :lol:

It kind of was a running gag between me and a couple of guys I hung out with in my late school/early post-school years that when they said "I wouldn't kick her out of bed", I'd say "I'd decorate my room with her".

(Imagine me only identifying as ace over 15 years later than that... ^_^ )

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thegoodlannister

LOL this is all so relevant to me! I describe my personal experience with aesthetic attraction as something along the lines of I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR FACE. This happens A LOT with with celebrities and fictional characters I know I'll never actually be able to come in contact with (I think because it lessens that kind of innate fear that someday that person will want more than I can give them or that non-sexual intimacy will turn into something I'm far less comfortable with?), but every once in a while it occurs with people in my everyday life as well!

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Mmm, yes! Hockey players are my eye candy! :cake: It certainly doesn't mean I'm ready to get in the sack. Maybe just some cuddles though. ;)

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I can relate in some ways. I don't know all the right terminology because I'm new here but I like looking at " pretty" ppl. I have had little crushes on celebrities and even some ppl in my real life but they are never really sexual. It's like I want to be near them or know them....want them to like me but nothing more. If that makes sense. I love this place because I have never heard anyone say some of the things I feel before. I've had therapist try to "fix" me, change my meds, take certain meds to increase (or create!) a sex drive. I've always felt so guilty that nothing worked. It feels so good to know I'm not alone.

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I guess, I wouldn't be the only asexual who mistook 'aesthetic attraction' for 'sexual attraction' before they found out about asexuality?

Can one have a aesthetic attraction orientation? Because good looking men hold my attention more than good looking women. That is the reason why I orignally identified as heterosexual.

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scottimus prime
I guess, I wouldn't be the only asexual who mistook 'aesthetic attraction' for 'sexual attraction' before they found out about asexuality?

Can one have a aesthetic attraction orientation? Because good looking men hold my attention more than good looking women. That is the reason why I orignally identified as heterosexual.

I definitely confused aesthetic attraction with sexual attraction. I feel aesthetic attraction towards women and men (and in fact, slightly prefer men). So for the longest time, I thought I was gay and just in denial about my homosexuality. I didn't want to have sex with women, and I found men to be pleasing to the eye, so clearly I must be gay, right? It wasn't until later that I realized that I had no sexual attraction to men. Sure, I enjoy looking at them, but I have no interest in engaging in sexual activity with them.

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Storm Dancing

I enjoy "eye candy",both male and female. But I've always wondered just how large a part aesthetics may play in attraction. I've had partners, male and female, that I've been in relationships with that were aesthetically pleasing to look at but their personalities weren't up to the same par as some of my friends who weren't as aesthetically pleasing to look at. And I never had a desire to have sex with either so, I wonder why I would not be more attracted to the personality of a person than their looks? I realize I said "friends" and "partners" and I do realize the difference but what makes one choose between two people when sex is not a factor?

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The description "aesthetic attraction", at least for me, sort of misses the emotional component of attractiveness. It's more than simple appreciation for a good looking person. It's more like really digging the smell of coffee, but not caring for the taste of it. It's not that coffee simply smells "good", there's just something about the scent that gives you emotional sensations of warmth, home, comfort, and earthiness. That's what eye candy is like. I feel an emotional attraction that goes a bit beyond simply "That's pretty", but I don't care for touching.

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I feel romantically and aesthetically attracted to women, but I really never want to have sex with them.

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38702878018041791_79r2LwDQ_c.jpg

Picture. Thousand words. All that. :)

Is it just me or does the guy in the aesthetic attraction panel look like Sherlock?

I support the comments above btw. It does sound like aesthetic attraction to be. :)

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