• Announcements

    • Kelly

      New Team members Needed--Moderator, Project Team, and Declass Team: Voting   12/10/13

      See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164659-new-declass-team-member-needed-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164657-new-moderator-member-needed-qa-co-mod-and-world-watch-mod-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164656-new-project-team-member-needed-resources-and-education-director-voting/  
    • Kelly

      AVENues Holiday Special Edition is now live   08/17/17

      The new edition of AVENues is done!   See:        
    • Lady Girl

      Ace Community Census   11/06/17

      It’s time for the 2017 Ace Community Census!   see:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/162675-announcing-the-2017-ace-community-census/  
    • Heart

      Help fund AVEN's servers!   11/06/17

      AVEN is doing its annual fundraiser to raise donations for server costs! See http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/163251-aven-server-fundraiser/ for more details.  
Lady Girl

I Don't Want Sex and That's Okay? How it Feels to Hear About Asexuality!

Recommended Posts

Purpleknight

When I first heard about Asexuality, my first thought was- woah, that sounds like me-! My next thought was -Nooo, I can't be Asexual. The point I'm at now is that I'm... finally accepting it. I'm scared and it makes me feel lonely. I figured I was just a lesbian (What I came out has, and etc) and I engrossed myself into the life style of a lesbian. Now I feel like I was just living an odd lie. I feel like... I don't know where to start in the Asexual community. I don't feel like I can come out to my friends because all they talk about is sex... Is any of this normal?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LunaOwl

Hullo! This is my first post, so I guess I'd better make it a good one, right?

Before I heard about asexuality, I sort of believed what everyone told me...that I was "afraid" of intimacy and that was why I wasn't attracted to people. Whenever my friends brought up sex/sexual interests (which, to be fair, was rare), I'd just shake my head and say that no, I didn't know how they were feeling. I didn't really think that I was broken...I just figured that I was less-than-normal.

It was my best male-friend (and only gay friend at the time) who introduced me to the idea of asexuality. At first, I thought that he was just making it up to make me feel better. Eventually, though, I realized that he was right. And that was a huge relief. Finally I didn't have to squirm uncomfortably when I checked off "straight" in surveys or when talking with family and friends. I'm not straight. I don't like boys. I like no one.

So that's my story. It's not especially gripping or touching, but it's mine, so that's enough for me.

Nice to meet you all!

-LunaOwl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
.........................

I think it happened about a year ago. I was certainly relieved, because I had always been wondering what was wrong with me and what I should do to make sex work for me. So, one less worry in my life. Also, the thought that I could have a relationship without sex filled me with hope. Before I learnt about asexuality, I'd often think I'd never be able to date anyone, since I thought it'd necessarily include sex.

Oh, and the thing about sexual attraction was a big revelation. I spent days like "wow, do people actually experience that?". haha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SetFree2012

I realized I was asexual after watching the documentary "Asexual". While watching I kept thinking "so that is what i am". I felt so relieved. I thought that something was wrong with me. I thought that I was emotionally distant or some buried childhood trauma was the cause. I thought that i was the only one who felt this way.

Everyone around me wants to have relationships with sexual passion. Society sells that type of relationship in everything we see. i just wasn't feeling it.

I have always been supportive of GLBT. After watching "Asexual", i have a greater understanding of the challenges experienced by people who are asked to justify their sexual orientation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Oxalis

When I found out: I was so happy I cried. :blush:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Graybear

I am 46 this year, and only now just heard the word "asexuality", although I have been asexual my entire life. I feel I have not been fair to my wife, but I can not help disliking sex! It's not her, it's not anyone...It's the way I have always been! Should I have married? Perhaps not to a sexual person, but how was I to know I would never just "become" sexual!

Now I know I am not sick or mentally challenged, I am me. I am an asexual and there is simply no changing that fact!

Thank you AVEN!

Welcome Graybear. :) Don't feel like you're late to the party, I just discovered the word "asexual" a few weeks back and I turned 50 last August. It's such a relief though isn't it? I know I felt like I'd finally found somewhere I belong. As to your question of if you should have married....I think all of us, tried to fit in at one point or another,hoping to become magically sexual by marrying or dating.. I hope you're not feeling like you misled your wife, you can't mislead someone when you're not even sure of the direction yourself. I know I always kept hoping if I dated...or considered marriage...it would be the magic trick that would make me like everyone else. But it just doesn't work that way.

Anyway....once again,welcome! Here is some cake--------> :cake: (yeah,I know it doesn't have any icing,I licked it off,deal with it,I'm an icing junkie). Have fun exploring the site,there's alot of topics you'll find interesting up for discussion or just commenting upon. Glad you found your way here. :)

Thank you so much for the welcome, and words of encouragement! You guys are great! :) and thank you for the cake... And Happy new year!

When I first heard about Asexuality, my first thought was- woah, that sounds like me-! My next thought was -Nooo, I can't be Asexual. The point I'm at now is that I'm... finally accepting it. I'm scared and it makes me feel lonely. I figured I was just a lesbian (What I came out has, and etc) and I engrossed myself into the life style of a lesbian. Now I feel like I was just living an odd lie. I feel like... I don't know where to start in the Asexual community. I don't feel like I can come out to my friends because all they talk about is sex... Is any of this normal?

Hi, I too am new here! Of course you are normal. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel! There are many of us who feel exactly the same way you do! I know it is confusing when you are younger, but you need to accept yourself for who you are! I too dislike talking about or even having sex, so what... that is who I am and I am proud of that fact! So too must you be proud of who you are!

You said you don't know where to start in the asexual community! Guess what, you have just made a start, with this group! Once you accept who you are, and people see your confidence in what you are, then you are on your way! Welcome to your world! :cake:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
startraveler27

When I first found out, it was more of a "Oh, so that's what it's called?"

I had been on Tumblr for a while and sometimes people will reblog posts about sexual orientation and some of the many identifications. I read through them all because I was curious, this was something I hadn't heard of before! When I got to the little blurb about asexuality, I thought, "That... yeah, that sounds like me... Okay." But it wasn't until I had a boyfriend (first one in a really long time) that I began to question what I wanted and why I was feeling this way, and it led me here!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tenebre

I ignored repeated hints from a friend who knew about asexuality for years and when I finally told her my situation she pointed me here. I stayed in denial for the rest of the conversation and awhile after but as I read the boards and learned more about asexuality I started to accept that yeah, that pretty much fits me. From there, it's been a combination of happiness at finally finding other people who feel like me and times when I don't want this right now on top of everything else that goes on. Four months later it's becoming less of something that takes up a good deal of my mental space and has faded more into the background of my identity which is nice because it means that I've accepted it more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Graceful

I was definitely relieved. It's not that I thought I was broken. I had already accepted my sexuality. I just felt uncomfortable thinking I was so different from everyone that I didn't fit in one of those boxes. It was a pain to explain why I'm straight but didn't wholly identify as straight. Now that there's a name, it doesn't feel any different than saying I'm straight/gay/bi/etc.

Every time I feel left out because I'm grey, I remember that other people feel like that too. And that one day, I might even have friends or a partner that understands first hand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
astro_nyan

I feel terribly stereotypical saying this, but after reading this thread I feel immensely relieved. I have always felt guilty and "weird" because I, unlike most other girls in their late teens, have not had sex, and have absolutely no desire to. I have been ostracized for being alone and not dating/having intimate relationships; I have, at times, wanted a relationship, but have been hesitant because of the sexual expectations that come with them. Reading your comments gives me a sense of belonging, and makes me feel marginally more "normal" in not being interested in sex. So thank you - all of you! - for sharing your feelings and experiences. You've made me feel a lot better about myself. xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
freemouse

I am 25 and I've never dated or been in a relationship. Recently I've realized that a big chunk of that was probably because I assumed everyone wanted to be in a sexual relationship and I just wasn't game for it. Once I finally, slowly, started coming around to considering the whole dating thing, I just became more and more stressed that there was only going to be continuous pressure to drop the silly no-sex notion and give in to the fact that all relationships are sexual. So I shut down again and resisted becoming involved in any relationship.

And then I finally researched the exact definition of the term "asexual," a word that I heard of years ago but had never made the connection to my own life. It's amazing how one trip to Wikipedia can make a lifetime of little black emotional storm clouds disappear and improve one's whole mental atmosphere. Not to mention the boost of self esteem and confidence. It was there that I learned not only that I was, in fact, asexual, but that there were OTHERS.

Holy bugger! There are more out there! I must find them, meet them, talk to them, see them with my own eyes or eavesdrop on their threads and forums just to be assured of their existence! So here I am on AVEN, as was recommended by a friend whom I could finally tell that I was asexual, now that I knew what that meant. I feel so empowered knowing this community has my back on this. I know myself, I know what I am, I know what's right for me and I am the ONLY person with the authority to decide that. Asexuals really exist, that is what I am, and that is okay. AVEN said so. That is Okay with a capital O.

So there, world. I am now armed with information, and I plan to share it. Nicely, of course...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RD_the

The start of my story really dates back long before I hit puberty. Way before I or any of my peers were exploring any sexuality. I was bullied quite badly, starting in grade school. The bullying was not about sexuality at that point, but it did later impact how I reacted to my sexuality. Because of it, I desperately wanted to disappear. I desperately, desperately wanted to be normal. I didn't want to give them any more fodder to throw at me.

Course, I didn't have a lot of success in the whole "normalcy" thing. I wasn't willing to compromise who I was in order to be like everyone else, partly because I didn't really like "everyone else." I didn't want to be them. I just didn't want them to bully me about it any more. As we got older, my peers started adding things to their bullying repertoire, including the fact that I was a virgin. I didn't really understand why this was such a big deal. I really, really didn't. Of course I was still a virgin! I was only a teenager!

I knew I was a late bloomer in a lot of ways, especially socially. I missed social cues a lot, and this was even more so when it came to anything about sex. I just didn't get it. But I didn't attribute that to any type of alternate sexuality, especially since alternate sexualities were not put on my radar. Homosexuality was mentioned, but I wasn't having any sexual attraction to other women, so I "knew" (rather to my relief) that I was "normal."

I made up a lot of stories as to why I wasn't dating/sexually attracted to men. I wasn't attracted to anyone at my school because they were all bullies and they wouldn't ask me out anyway because they thought I was scum. I wasn't attracted to any celebrities because they weren't all that hot. Or they weren't my type. I hadn't gone on a date yet because no one had asked me. I hadn't found the right person yet. Of course I would be sexually attracted to the right person. I was still a virgin because I was a good Christian girl and I was waiting for marriage. (That last one still makes me cringe at myself. I am Christian, yes, but that is not the view of Christianity that I have ever believed. I was using it to hide from myself.) I taught myself how to recognize what was "hot". It's an intellectual and aesthetically based understanding.

Anyway, I didn't hear the term "asexual" related to humans until a couple of years after High School. Before that it related to the reproduction of microorganisms. Some lizards. One part of the plant reproductive cycle. I can't remember where or when I first heard "asexual" related to human sexuality. However, rather unfortunately for me, it was attached to a statistic: 1%. Because of that statistic my discovery of the existence of asexuality was not the "aha" moment that others have described. It caught my attention, yes, but the chances of me being asexual? No, I couldn't be. The numbers were too improbable. I just hadn't found the right guy yet.

Well, still believing that, I started dating. I dated a couple of guys, but have never gone beyond kissing and cuddling. Which I was okay with, although it also kinda freaked me out. I was afraid that my boyfriends might start asking for sex, and that I wasn't comfortable with. At all. I don't think my lack of sexual attraction really dawned on me because I had never felt sexual attraction. It's really hard to measure a lack of something. However, I did recognize that there was something that was not in my relationships that was involved in other heterosexual relationships. This caused me to break off the relationships.

Through all of this I shifted from identifying my sexuality as "straight" to (when I was being honest) identifying as "questioning." I really didn't even know what I was questioning, but I knew that I didn't have all the answers. I kept coming back to this idea of asexuality in my mind. And I kept rejecting it. Mostly I didn't even try to examine my sexuality.

However, eventually I got to the point where I had ruled out every other option. What remained, however implausible, had to be the truth. So I finally turned and really looked at my own sexuality. Slowly I started pulling the pieces together to where I could say "I think I'm asexual." It still took another year or so before I could say "I'm asexual." That was just over a year ago.

It's been a rather long road to get here, but I am happy with where I've come so far. Having come to terms with this part of me, I am more comfortable in my own skin than I have been before, and I know that will help me as I move forward to whatever is coming next.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Natalia_Wilde

Hello everyone! In advance I'm sorry for my English! My name is Natalia. I am from Kyiv. About my asexuality know almost everything, and a long time they are with this humbled. Friends refer to this right. The rest they say that I need to go to the doctor, and that it's not normal that I don't want anyone relations. In society of The Former Soviet Union, I support and did not find. Don't want to thought I was not normal. I feel good live as it is now, and nothing to change I don't want to. I hope that here was a meeting of like-minded people. Among my main goals in life is to publish the novel and leave for Europe. In July-August I will leave work in Poland. In the future I will to go to Ireland or the United Kingdom forever. I will be glad to new acquaintances and once again, I apologize for my not very competent English =)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Graceful
I feel terribly stereotypical saying this, but after reading this thread I feel immensely relieved. I have always felt guilty and "weird" because I, unlike most other girls in their late teens, have not had sex, and have absolutely no desire to. I have been ostracized for being alone and not dating/having intimate relationships; I have, at times, wanted a relationship, but have been hesitant because of the sexual expectations that come with them. Reading your comments gives me a sense of belonging, and makes me feel marginally more "normal" in not being interested in sex. So thank you - all of you! - for sharing your feelings and experiences. You've made me feel a lot better about myself. xxx

I feel exactly the same way. I often scold myself sometimes for feeling guilty and weird about my lack of sex life. Although I'm probably not at a stable enough point in my life for a real relationship, I do want one. But I feel like being 20, a virgin, and having never dated before, I'd be assumed celibate and/or too "weird." I'm afraid others would/do think I'm very religious or that I have severe emotional problems that make me impossible to date.

I never thought I'd need a community to feel more human. But at an age where my peers are all sexually active or at least have been in the past, it is comforting to share these things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
carys

Even though I don't really like labels discovering asexuality was a huge relief! I can't even count how many times I've been told that it's IMPOSSIBLE not to like sex, so finding this community really helps.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
barbarianese

It was overwhelming, wonderful, but bittersweet. It made me think that my happiness and integrity could no longer co-exist. It made me rethink everything that ever happened and despondently wish that I had been made differently ("normally", "the right way.") Slowly with this new-found internal honesty in heart I slowly realized it was apart of what connected me to people and why my friendships were so intimate and free. I began to love this about myself and that opened me up to a lot of good things in life I've never had before. :cake:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Starfata

I always knew sex was a big thing- I just figured it was one more social inadaquacy on my part. I watched porn, but to be honest found it kind of boring. I considered that maybe I was gay- but I wasn't particularly attracted to women. I watched documentaries on sex, (Sexcetera counts, right?), read articles on the internet, looked up masturbation- basically, I went through a maybe checklist. If I'd been a sexual person, it probably would have been obsessive.

Maybe I'm just a late bloomer

Maybe I'm gay

Maybe this will help

Maybe this maybe that.

I read smutty fanfic and trashy Mills&Boons books- partly out of curiosity, amusement, and what I will refer to as bad tastes. After all, women are more likely to find erotic literature appealing than a porn, according to statistics.

Then, I was reading a fanfiction- and there was a tag for an asexual character. At first I thought 'what, like budding'? But I'd liked the author and it was a favourite pairing, so I clicked and read. And I kept reading, and searching the various terms I found on the fanfictions. And it clicked- that describes me. That is how I think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CstarL

Hi, I am new to this site and to the whole idea of being asexual. I want to be an asexual to help protect myself from the emotional and physical consequences of sex. I want to start making a new friendship group. I want to make friends who are out of the normal life society. This society is cruel to those who do not fight into the normal standards.

I do not fight into the normal standards of life. I am looking for a group that I fight into and have similar thoughts. I want to make friends that I can support and friends who can support me. Because of the fact I have recently accepted that asexuality is a safe form of life, I would like to make friends who will not pressure me into sexual activities and make friends who think like I do.

When I heard that it was normal to not want sex and I was not the only one who did not feel a sexual attraction I was relieved. I learned that I could fit in somewhere and that I was normal. Asexuality is a place that I can protect myself from physical, mental, emotional pain and health problems like STDs.

Sex is a dangerous thing. I have tried it and quickly learned that sex is not for me. I want to give up sex for a few reasons. Religion reasons, mental health reasons, health reasons, and personal reasons. I heard about asexuality when I was searching the internet about my missing sex drive. Asexuality is already part of my life. I just have to except it and stop trying to be “normal” and have sex because everyone else is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fitzsimmons ♡
Hi, I am new to this site and to the whole idea of being asexual. I want to be an asexual to help protect myself from the emotional and physical consequences of sex. I want to start making a new friendship group. I want to make friends who are out of the normal life society. This society is cruel to those who do not fight into the normal standards.

I do not fight into the normal standards of life. I am looking for a group that I fight into and have similar thoughts. I want to make friends that I can support and friends who can support me. Because of the fact I have recently accepted that asexuality is a safe form of life, I would like to make friends who will not pressure me into sexual activities and make friends who think like I do.

When I heard that it was normal to not want sex and I was not the only one who did not feel a sexual attraction I was relieved. I learned that I could fit in somewhere and that I was normal. Asexuality is a place that I can protect myself from physical, mental, emotional pain and health problems like STDs.

Sex is a dangerous thing. I have tried it and quickly learned that sex is not for me. I want to give up sex for a few reasons. Religion reasons, mental health reasons, health reasons, and personal reasons. I heard about asexuality when I was searching the internet about my missing sex drive. Asexuality is already part of my life. I just have to except it and stop trying to be “normal” and have sex because everyone else is.

Hello and welcome to AVEN :cake:

I understand and respect your feelings with all my heart (except the bit on sex being dangerous, 'cause, per se, it isn't just as asexuality isn't a 'form of life'), I just want to make sure you understand that there's a difference between asexuality and celibacy :) Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, while celibacy is the choice of not having sex. People can be both asexual and celibate, but asexuality on its own doesn't mean choosing not to have sex, and doesn't protect from STDs, pain or pregnancies.

I hope you will stay in this community. You will find it full of people who can relate to the lack of sexual attraction, and will not judge you for any decision you could make about your own sexual life. You will see that there are asexual people who are also celibate and do not engage in sexual relationships, just as there are asexual people who are in relationships and have sex, for many different reasons :) You can find some general FAQ here, and some FAQ about relationships here if you want to.

Again, welcome to you, and to everyone else who has posted here ^_^ :cake:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Coyote97

I was very relieved to find out about Asexuality and how it pertains to my life and sexual orientation. It does not define me as a person, but it certainly does take a huge burden off my shoulders to know I'm not an alien and alone afterall. Looking back at my entire life, I can easily recall most instances where knowing about my Asexuality would have been much better on my whole life. I think its extremely sad that I had to spend 33 years of my life being called things Im not, assumptions being made, being tortured and humiliated for false sexualities, all because I didnt know the terminology for my orientation. What I plan to do about this, is help raise awareness around my local area. I want Asexuality to become a household name, like straight, gay, lesbian, etc. I want future generations who grow up and realize they could be this orientation, if they were born this way, and be content and happy about it. Id much rather get picked on for being something I am, opposed to something Im not, or worse yet, something I dont know I am. Thank you AVEN, for being my stepping stone into this community in which I belong. I was born a heteroromantic Asexual, and now I actually can say that with certainty...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
irishlily24
I had the mix of the epiphany & inverse epiphany. In high school, I just thought people were trying to talk "big" about sex so that they appeared more like adults. But, after entering college & hearing people become more open with the sexuality stories, I "awoke" to just how much sex was involved in people's lives. I had felt attraction before, but it was such an innocent lets-be-close-friends kind of attraction.

I have had similar experiences. I have felt an attraction to my past partners but I have not been overly interested in anything beyond cuddling, talking and sharing. "Making out" would take a toll on my patience and I would think, "we've been at it for five minutes; five minutes is long enough, right?"

It took me a while to realize I was asexual (which is a hit on my self-esteem since I consider myself to be quick on the uptake). A couple of my exes even commented on my lack of sexual interest. They often seemed hurt by it, and I did not understand why they were taking my non-existent sex drive so personally. I had noticed I was not interested in sex, but I just thought I would change when I had sex: "After I have sex, I will think about it all the time just like everyone else." However, it was not so. I began to realize that sexual people see sexual attraction as being necessary, and my lack of sexual interest was a downer for them. As a result, I had slowly cut myself out of relationships. I had one relationship that was borderline abusive. He would stalk me and verbally abuse me. I used to blame him, and still do for many things as his behavior was often out of line, but I wonder if I had been aware of asexuality sooner, would I have been able to quell his worries? He often became concerned that I didn't love him and would lash out from anger and jealousy. There have been other instances where my lack of sexual interest was frustrating and hurtful to my partner. I wish I had not been so dense and had realized this sooner. Maybe I would not have hurt so many people if I had.

Back to the main topic: My realization of my sexuality (or lack thereof) came to me in steps. I had wondered in the past if I was asexual. I did not know it was an actual phenomenon. I just thought I was weird (well, weird in another way and God knows I didn’t need that). After each failed relationship, I came closer and closer to the assumption there was something wrong with me. Then I did a bit of research, looked asexuality as a “medical issue” which led me to researching others who were asexual. I found out many people were asexual and some were famous actors and writers (I’m a prospective writer so the last one really stuck with me). Then I found this community. Relief, and not a small amount of exasperation, were my initial feelings. I am still coming to terms with it. I’m not angry or anything, it just takes some time to realize that I will not be interested in sex and that is okay ;) I need to figure a way to inform my religious friends and family, though :)

I hope I have not strayed too far from the original topic. I do apologize. These thoughts hit me all at once. You may have just witnessed my acceptance of my asexual identity

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
StormyLiffy

Hello so glad I'm not alone thought I was so glad I found aven

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
bobbypinseatppl

When I first stumbled onto...this site actually I was extremely confused about my sexuality. It was just a relief, like I had this weight lifted from my shoulders, because it was suddenly ok for me to be completely uninterested in sex.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Krydon

I could never figure out why I didn't seem to have that drive to have sex has everyone else I knew. I would listen to them talk about sex and think, 'what's the big deal?' I thought that there was something wrong with me and even went into therapy because of the apathy I felt in regards to sex. I am sort of glad I did as it allowed me to figure out who I am and get comfortable with my feelings or lack of them. Now I don't care if I never have sex.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Encourage

I guess I was just randomly browsing the Internet and when i came across this site I was like "Wow, this is me. That explains a lot!" I've never really been into dating or crushes (part of that is my parents believe in waiting til you're 16) and I just assumed I'd "grow into it". So after a few years of forcing myself to notice people I "liked", I'm glad to find out there are people who have felt the same as me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shenanigans Flanagan

I called myself "nunsexual" for a few years, but then an older friend called me "asexual" one day. I thought it was such a cool word! I went ok we have hetero, homo, and bi (didn't know about other things like pan and omni yet) so a-sexual would mean not attracted to any genders. That's me! I thought at the time that it was a word he had made up for me on his own, but I later realized that since he was gay and very active in the LGBT community he had probably heard other people use the word. I didn't find out it was a real thing until I got to college. That was MAGICAL. I heard about it at a Pride meeting and then promptly went home and googled it and found all of you. It was so nice to not feel alone for once. I still haven't met any other asexual people in real life, unfortunately. This gets lonely sometimes, doesn't it? I just want someone who loves me and who's happy to see me and wants to cuddle. I should probably just get a dog I suppose haha.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sparky_arb

My first encounter with asexuality was a couple years ago, a friend of a friend was an out and proud ace and when I heard that, I thought okay, that's nice, and then promptly forgot about it. Fast forward to my college days and after experiencing the hook-up culture that is predominant (at my college at least) I decided that just wasn't for me. I definitely did not want sex, so I remembered the word asexual. It took a few months of having the word in my head before I actually started researching it (AVEN was super helpful in this) and then another few months before I was using it to refer to myself as asexual, but now I'm happy as a clam and relieved that at least I know I'm not alone and not the only one whose asexual. And yea unfortunately it took me awhile (longer than I'd care to admit) to accept that part of myself (no disrespect meant to anyone) but I think the main shock to me was more that it was mindboggling to me how much other people actually think about sex and the huge impact it has on their lives, and I was just like 'huh'? I do not understand why this is so important to people. But now that I've had a few months of floating around these forums and others, I'm really glad I found out about asexuality because it's great to be able to say 'this is me'. :) (this is super rambling, sorry guys!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Duggie

Quite simply, it feels like coming home. I have identified as gay since i was a little boy. As a young man, however, i was greatly disheartened by what i found to be the male homo-culture. I then realized that I wasn't one of them, but stayed in tho life, having sex only to keep companionship. Recently, in a group discussion on tagged.com, someone mentioned the Kinsey Report. This was new to me and did the research that led me to, what is now, my truth. I know now that I am not broken and can actually play a special role in society without the sexual desire interrupting my goals or intentions. I am glad to be here!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Leftithian

I'd always known that there had to be at least one someone out there who was also asexual, and finding out about asexuality as an entire term was such a relief to me: It really is a thing! I was so afraid to think that I'd grow up alone because I wouldn't be able to find another person like me to have a relationship with. It's so great to know that there's a whole entire forum of people out there! Hello world, here I am!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now