Porn star Stoya Doll says asexuality is real

[Fainting In Coils]

I was reading a Tumblr post by a porn star named Stoya Doll, and she happened to mention asexuality in the midst of it. The two main quotes are as follows:

"Asexuality is definitely a thing. I don't personally understand it, but if it makes you happy go for it. Or don't go for it. Go for not-it? I'm going to remove my foot from my mouth now."

"tl:dr There's nothing wrong with you if you aren't that into sex. Communication is super important."

Please note that those two statements aren't directly linked together, and she's not saying that asexuals aren't "that" into sex, she's just making a general statement.

The entire post can be found here. The rest of her Tumblr is definitely NSFW, but the post itself isn't anything offensive/raunchy so you can probably read it safely.

(If this belongs somewhere else, I'm sorry, but World Watch seemed the best fit.)

[Azure.Providence]

Bah, now I have 9 tabs open. I must choose between eating and reading all of her tumblr.

Never thought that requiring the use of condoms in porn would be such a big issue. Shows how ignorant I am... I would of voted yes on that law if I never read her article and lived in the state where that law was being passed.

[Capslock Cadet]

Stoya is pretty awesome. I've seen a few of her posts before, and I've come to admire her. She always write interesting things.

I hadn't seen this post though. I think it's pretty cool, even though some of the wording is a little meh "if it makes you happy go for it", I like the overall message, ""tl:dr There's nothing wrong with you if you aren't that into sex."

So, yay.

[WhenSummersGone]

I follow her boyfriend James Deen, also a porn star, on Twitter so I've heard of her. It's nice to see that she posted about this, especially from a porn star. Nice to see others notice us.

A bit off topic but I would have voted no on the law because I've heard James explain a lot that porn stars already get tested every 2 weeks for diseases and such, so I don't see why condoms would be important. Usually it's people outside of porn who have diseases, and I believe you'll be thrown out of porn if anything comes back positive. Anyways, that's just my opinion on it.

[MadRat]

Very good post. Who would expect that from a porn star?

[Fainting In Coils]

Stoya is pretty awesome. I've seen a few of her posts before, and I've come to admire her. She always write interesting things.

I hadn't seen this post though. I think it's pretty cool, even though some of the wording is a little meh "if it makes you happy go for it", I like the overall message, ""tl:dr There's nothing wrong with you if you aren't that into sex."

So, yay.

Now, I have no proof for this... but I'd like to think that the "if it makes you happy" refers to not having sex, as opposed to not wanting to have sex. As in, if not having sex makes you happy, then don't have sex. As opposed to people who think that asexuals should have sex even if they don't want to, 'cause that's just the thing to do.

[Capslock Cadet]

Stoya is pretty awesome. I've seen a few of her posts before, and I've come to admire her. She always write interesting things.

I hadn't seen this post though. I think it's pretty cool, even though some of the wording is a little meh "if it makes you happy go for it", I like the overall message, ""tl:dr There's nothing wrong with you if you aren't that into sex."

So, yay.

Now, I have no proof for this... but I'd like to think that the "if it makes you happy" refers to not having sex, as opposed to not wanting to have sex. As in, if not having sex makes you happy, then don't have sex. As opposed to people who think that asexuals should have sex even if they don't want to, 'cause that's just the thing to do.

Actually, I was refering to "go for it". When she puts it that way it makes it sound like it's a choice, kind of like "if you wanna be a ballet dancer, go for it!" is. And well, yeah, no. But I don't think she means anything by it, or tries to portray asexuality as a choice. I just think she didn't pay attention to how it'd sound.

[Lady Girl]

This is really pretty interesting and I think shows that visibility efforts pay off.

[Kitty Spoon Train]

If you fantasize about banging raccoons I’d be willing to bet there’s someone out there who wants to dress up like a raccoon and make whatever noises see plausible while getting banged.

yiff yiff yiff

[sinisterporpoise]

Non-Tumblr source please.

[Fainting In Coils]

Non-Tumblr source please.

Full text is as follows:

An open response…

… to a number of private questions asking variations of “Is there something wrong with me if I like/don’t like ____?”

At least in the United States, you have the right to be wanton, sexually provocative, and promiscuous. You have the right to wear as little clothing as legally allowed by the government where you live. Actually, I guess you can wear less clothing than legally allowed as you don’t mind dealing with the hassle of being arrested and having a record. You can have sex with men, women, people who identify as in-between or as neither. You can find consenting and enthusiastic partners for the most depraved erotic acts your brain or someone else’s can imagine. You might not have the legal right to engage in these acts according to the state or county you live in, but if everyone involved is a rational, consenting adult and you keep your metaphorical blinds closed you’ll probably be ok. I am not a lawyer and “you’ll probably be ok” does not in any way mean that I have any idea what I’m talking about when it comes to giving blowjobs in Virginia. You have the right to communicate your desires in what is ideally a respectful manner and hope that the person(s) you’re attracted to share them.

Conversely, you don’t have to exercise any of those rights.

Neither the sex industry nor recreational promiscuity are for everyone. You can be friends with known pornographers and prostitutes without being one yourself. Being accepting of whatever safe, sane, and consensual acts people want to engage in with their bodies is awesome. You shouldn’t feel like you have to engage in the same acts as your friends or what you see on the internet to prove your solidarity or something.

Asexuality is definitely a thing. I don’t personally understand it, but if it makes you happy go for it. Or don’t go for it. Go for not-it? I’m going to remove my foot from my mouth now.

Liking sex doesn’t mean you have to be up for it 24/7, do it with thirty-five different people in a week, or walk around with the majority of your ass hanging out whenever the weather permits. I’ve had sex with plenty of men and some women who don’t understand or care about my love for fancy lingerie and who find pajamas, jeans, and sneakers hotter than french lace and high heels.

If you only want sex every three months and you love doing it with the lights off missionary style, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There are potential partners who want the same, or who like it once every three months with the lights off doggy style and will be willing to take turns with your favored position and theirs.

If you fantasize about banging raccoons I’d be willing to bet there’s someone out there who wants to dress up like a raccoon and make whatever noises see plausible while getting banged. I recommend not banging actual raccoons because they are animals and can’t consent. Also: claws and potential rabies. (Cue the one person who believes in the rights of raccoons to consent to and enjoy sex with humans.)

If you want it filthy, rough, and hard three times a day for half the month and maybe once or twice a week while gazing into each others’ eyes for the other half, you can find one or more people willing to accommodate. I may be talking about myself here.

You’re highly unlikely to find any of these things until you figure out what you want and get comfortable with asking for it.

tl:dr There’s nothing wrong with you if you aren’t that into sex. Communication is super important. For every “weird” thing you’re into, there’s someone else out there that’s into it too.

[sinisterporpoise]

Not what I meant. I'd like a source link that isn't to a Tumblr blog that could or could not be hers.

[Fainting In Coils]

Not what I meant. I'd like a source link that isn't to a Tumblr blog that could or could not be hers.

Sorry about that. Well, not sure how to do that, other than to say that her official Twitter account (verified by Amanda Palmer, who just shot a music video with her and linked it as her website) is https://twitter.com/stoya. That official Twitter account says that the Tumblr is her account.

[Sarcastic Bob]

Stoya is pretty awesome. I've seen a few of her posts before, and I've come to admire her. She always write interesting things.

I hadn't seen this post though. I think it's pretty cool, even though some of the wording is a little meh "if it makes you happy go for it", I like the overall message, ""tl:dr There's nothing wrong with you if you aren't that into sex."

So, yay.

Still, it's got to be a step in the right direction hasn't it? She's probably just a little bitter that the cake industry has stolen 1% of her potential audience.