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Can I be asexual and still use porn?


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Hey guys.

So, i've never been attracted to anyone before. I don't find men attractive, women attractive. Don't want to be with anyone.

However I get aroused by porn, I find porn really appealing, or the sex attractive, but I guess the sex factor just triggers a physical response. Is that normal? I sort of feel like it's gross when i'm done.

wondering if that makes me asexual or not, thanks.

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herpaderderderderder

I know a few asexual people who watch porn. Arousal is normal whether you're sexual or asexual. There are people who would disagree with me, but if you're comfortable identifying as asexual, keep doing so. It's up to you to decide what you want to label yourself as.

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Yeah, I think it's fine to use porn and still be asexual. Just because you find the act of sex itself arousing doesn't make you less asexual. Asexuality means you're not attracted to people (sort of the opposite of bigender, or pangender, nowadays). I think, for a great majority of people, the body is just hardwired to be aroused when confronted with explicit sex. I guess it's evolution and the survival of the fittest at work, however much I disagree with that second idea...

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I am an example of an asexual person who likes porn, at times. I generally prefer it with less genital exposure, though. I used to only watch fake sex in movie scenes when I was younger, because real porn made me feel dirty. Nowadays I switch between both depending on mood. Hope this helps.

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ignoranceisn'tbliss

I'm asexual with a fetish (though some might call it a kink). I view sexual content related to that fetish in order to masturbate, and sometimes create fantasies using that fetish as well. I consider myself asexual since I feel no want to fornicate and I am slightly repulsed by genitals.

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Yeah it's normal. I'm in a similar situation to ignoranceisn'tbliss with the whole attraction though a fetish thing. I find sexual organs in my stuff a turn off actually.

Even if you are attracted to the sexual organs I believe their are asexual who are attracted to the form but not the act. Or some thing like that.

If some one else could elaborate who understand this stuff better that would be nice.

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I watch basically only two types of porn. Either it has to be totally, over the top, fake and unrealistic; as in hentai (basically cartoon porn). Or it has to be totally real, crappy camera, amateur porn.

I dunno, I guess for me the only thing that gets me off with porn is certain fetishes that only hentai can deliver. Or totally real, non edited, non staged sex with real people having real sex and experiencing real pleasure. Any kind of traditional porn with "hot" actors etc just doesn't do anything for me.

I do identify as demisexual though. Because besides those two things the only other thing that gets me aroused is my partner, hah!

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All,

This very much confuses me. I can't understand why an asexual would enjoy watching porn (I'm not making a judgment on anyone's sexual orientation, just trying to understand). Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Speedway

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Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

This is a good question. I think I have felt partially both ways before. It serves as a an arousal provoker to masturbate for me probably about 95% of the time I watch it, so I think my focus is more on using it to help me focus on myself. Something about people in the action arouses me, and I like the look of bare female backs, legs, and butts (not interested as much in breasts and genitalia, or males at all). I can quickly lose interest in the porn after I'm finished, unless I find the porn very profoundly interesting.

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All,

This very much confuses me. I can't understand why an asexual would enjoy watching porn (I'm not making a judgment on anyone's sexual orientation, just trying to understand). Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Speedway

I don't watch porn but I do masturbate. The only way I have been able to wrap my head around the idea of why an asexual would watch porn is by bringing the idea of sexual desire into the equation. To me, arousal caused by Bon-physical means is some sort of sexual attraction. What one is attracted to when watching porn may vary but I don't see how it can not be considered some form of sexual attraction.

The question then becomes, what does one want to do with that feeling? Does one gave any desire or inclination to act on that attraction with a partner? The vast majority of asexuals will answer no and, to me, that a seer is extremely evocative of what it is to be asexual. What arp uses an individual and why I'd does so don't really matter. What matters is that draw towards partnered sex and if that's absent, chances are that individual is asexual no matter how much porn they may or may not watch.

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I like Vamp's explanation referring to the discussion of sexual attraction vs. desire and evaluating whether there is an inclination toward partnered sex. That overall topic was part of what really provoked my self discovery. I'd say that is a satisfyingly articulate response to Speedway's question from my perspective.

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Just trowing in my two cents: I sometimes watch porn, but then it's only for the sake of my fetish, the actually people doesn't do anything for me and can actually, well, kinda get in the way of my fetish.... :blush:

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ignoranceisn'tbliss

Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

TMI ahead

Well, I guess you would say I'm in the position of the fornicator. Mine isn't exactly that simply worded though. In macrophilia, you have a large person and a small person (generally within ratios ranging from 2:1 to infinity:1 by measure of height). This opens up dozens of possibilities beyond fornication. In my case, there are a few things that I like, which are too varied and nuanced for me to list all of them, there are a few things I don't like but can tolerate, and there are a few things which just shut me down. You'll probably find the same thing among macrophiles who are sexual as well. However, I don't have a connection between my fetish and the act of fornication. While I can get "turned on" in a sense from seeing someone while at a lower perspective, that doesn't really go anywhere. I enjoy the sensation, but it doesn't make me want to do anything with my genitals (or theirs). As for why I'm able to masturbate when viewing macrophilia related stuff, well all I can say is it's kind of a habit. I've been able to masturbate while doing completely random things (reading AP U.S. history textbook for example), so I guess it's just easier for me to focus on the sensual feeling of being in such a position when I masturbate.

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All,

This very much confuses me. I can't understand why an asexual would enjoy watching porn (I'm not making a judgment on anyone's sexual orientation, just trying to understand). Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Speedway

Well personally for me, it's just, my body likes it, my body sees sex and is like 'oh hey cool sex'

I guess it's more of a physical thing, the bodily reactions are there, but not the mental desire. When i watch it I don't want it, but it makes me feel good, if that makes any sense.

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Skippy Squirrel

I'm asexual with a fetish (though some might call it a kink). I view sexual content related to that fetish in order to masturbate, and sometimes create fantasies using that fetish as well. I consider myself asexual since I feel no want to fornicate and I am slightly repulsed by genitals.

This sounds a lot like me actually, although I think my repulsion to genitals might be a bit stronger considering how quick I am to click the back button on sight.

All,

This very much confuses me. I can't understand why an asexual would enjoy watching porn (I'm not making a judgment on anyone's sexual orientation, just trying to understand). Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Speedway

I can't speak for others, but I personally try to ignore or gloss over any involvement of fornication or other explicitly sexual stuff in the fetish material I view because I don't like those aspects. It is the not-overtly-sexual aspects of the fetish that I find interesting or arousing.

If you were to replace "fornicator" with "participant" and remove any implication of sex from your question, then I can and do imagine myself as both a participant and an observer, sometimes both at the same time in a bizarre and contradictory way that violates the laws of physics. Then again, the fetish I have inherently breaks the laws of physics and human biology.

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Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Always just as an observer. The only type of porn I'm into is just naked women, either alone (think Playboy magazine) or softcore woman-on-woman, so there's no place for my physical body to be a participant anyway. If there's any kind of penis involvement, I reach for the off switch, fast. *shudders*

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WhenSummersGone

I consider myself asexual and watch porn. When I watch porn I don't want to have sex with anyone that I see in it. My body just gets aroused by certain sexual acts but given the chance I wouldn't sleep with anyone. I don't consider myself sexually attracted to anyone as I don't want to have sex with anyone I see while watching porn. My mind just isn't interested even though my body will react to it.

Like in public, I never picture myself having sex with anyone I see in public and same thing with porn.

Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Observer mostly. I definitely wouldn't want to participate, I'd just get turned off.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I consider myself asexual and watch porn. When I watch porn I don't want to have sex with anyone that I see in it. My body just gets aroused by certain sexual acts but given the chance I wouldn't sleep with anyone. I don't consider myself sexually attracted to anyone as I don't want to have sex with anyone I see while watching porn. My mind just isn't interested even though my body will react to it.

Like in public, I never picture myself having sex with anyone I see in public and same thing with porn.

Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Observer mostly. I definitely wouldn't want to participate, I'd just get turned off.

Like everyone has said, this is the same with me.

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All,

This very much confuses me. I can't understand why an asexual would enjoy watching porn (I'm not making a judgment on anyone's sexual orientation, just trying to understand). Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Speedway

This is exactly what I was thinking. I can't understand an asexual getting aroused by porn. Doesn't it still involve being sexually attracted to a person (or to the image of a person)? Even if you don't want to participate, the attraction must be there?

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Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

This is a good question. I think I have felt partially both ways before. It serves as a an arousal provoker to masturbate for me probably about 95% of the time I watch it, so I think my focus is more on using it to help me focus on myself. Something about people in the action arouses me, and I like the look of bare female backs, legs, and butts (not interested as much in breasts and genitalia, or males at all). I can quickly lose interest in the porn after I'm finished, unless I find the porn very profoundly interesting.

Pretty much this for me. It's mostly just an easy way to move masturbation along. My interest in porn pretty much completely ends as soon as orgasm is reached. I've never understood why porn movies go on for like 20 minutes, 3-5 is plenty.

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Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

This is a good question. I think I have felt partially both ways before. It serves as a an arousal provoker to masturbate for me probably about 95% of the time I watch it, so I think my focus is more on using it to help me focus on myself. Something about people in the action arouses me, and I like the look of bare female backs, legs, and butts (not interested as much in breasts and genitalia, or males at all). I can quickly lose interest in the porn after I'm finished, unless I find the porn very profoundly interesting.

Pretty much this for me. It's mostly just an easy way to move masturbation along. My interest in porn pretty much completely ends as soon as orgasm is reached. I've never understood why porn movies go on for like 20 minutes, 3-5 is plenty.

Yeah, same thing here. I masturbate once or twice a month because it "itches", if you know what I mean? but as soon as the act is over, I shut it off and I have no further interest for the next couple of weeks.

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All,

This very much confuses me. I can't understand why an asexual would enjoy watching porn (I'm not making a judgment on anyone's sexual orientation, just trying to understand). Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Speedway

This is exactly what I was thinking. I can't understand an asexual getting aroused by porn. Doesn't it still involve being sexually attracted to a person (or to the image of a person)? Even if you don't want to participate, the attraction must be there?

There's no sexual attraction towards the people in porn. It's just an automatic arousal of watching the fornication happening. My brain reacts to it and so will the genitalia. And since it's a porn-movie, it lacks some of the realistic aspects, like the smell of genitalia, which I find disgusting. Well, I don't really like the genitalia with or without the smell. But I can watch it without being too disgusted especially since in porn they film other stuff besides the genital-area. Actually I find the movement to be more arousing that anything else.

And for me, the interesting porn doesn't have people I find attractive. I just pick one that doesn't seem so boring. But the people in the porn can look almost anything from eye pleasing beautiful to fugly and I do not find them sexually attractive. Some not even at all attractive. I just get automatically aroused from watching the act of sex. I would in no circumstances want to get involved in it, I do not fantasize about that. I'd rather stick needles in my eye. I blame my brain for getting aroused, but I think it's pretty normal to act this way. After all we are supposed to find sex appealing (even if we wouldn't get aroused by any actual people to have it) because otherwise we would seize to exist.

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ignoranceisn'tbliss

All,

This very much confuses me. I can't understand why an asexual would enjoy watching porn (I'm not making a judgment on anyone's sexual orientation, just trying to understand). Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Speedway

This is exactly what I was thinking. I can't understand an asexual getting aroused by porn. Doesn't it still involve being sexually attracted to a person (or to the image of a person)? Even if you don't want to participate, the attraction must be there?

If none of the above posts shed some light on this, then maybe thinking about it this way will help. Our bodies respond, but we don't have any thoughts telling us we want to do this (the acts in question, not the viewing). We may be able to fantasize to cause our body to react, and there may be aspects of it besides sex that we enjoy (dominant/ submissive for instance), but we aren't drawn to any sexual aspects.

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All,

This very much confuses me. I can't understand why an asexual would enjoy watching porn (I'm not making a judgment on anyone's sexual orientation, just trying to understand). Do you asexuals who enjoy porn like to imagine yourself in the position of one of the fornicators? Or do you prefer to take the stance of an observer, who watches two people have sex, but would not fantasize about participating himself/herself?

Speedway

This is exactly what I was thinking. I can't understand an asexual getting aroused by porn. Doesn't it still involve being sexually attracted to a person (or to the image of a person)? Even if you don't want to participate, the attraction must be there?

There's no sexual attraction towards the people in porn. It's just an automatic arousal of watching the fornication happening. My brain reacts to it and so will the genitalia. And since it's a porn-movie, it lacks some of the realistic aspects, like the smell of genitalia, which I find disgusting. Well, I don't really like the genitalia with or without the smell. But I can watch it without being too disgusted especially since in porn they film other stuff besides the genital-area. Actually I find the movement to be more arousing that anything else.

And for me, the interesting porn doesn't have people I find attractive. I just pick one that doesn't seem so boring. But the people in the porn can look almost anything from eye pleasing beautiful to fugly and I do not find them sexually attractive. Some not even at all attractive. I just get automatically aroused from watching the act of sex. I would in no circumstances want to get involved in it, I do not fantasize about that. I'd rather stick needles in my eye. I blame my brain for getting aroused, but I think it's pretty normal to act this way. After all we are supposed to find sex appealing (even if we wouldn't get aroused by any actual people to have it) because otherwise we would seize to exist.

I wouldn't have thought the argument that it's natural else the species would die out wouldn't apply, since asexuality itself goes against that kind of logic. I'm sure it is normal for most people to find sex appealing - I just struggle to understand how asexuals would be among those who are aroused by it. Thanks for your explanation though - that does make a little more sense about how you still identify as asexual. You're saying you're aroused by the act, but not attracted to the people, and asexuality means not being attracted to people. (I think I got that right?)

I've never watched any porn, and have no desire to. I find the idea of it unpleasant. For me, asexuality includes being a little bit repulsed by sex - not just when it involves me, but the act itself too. Other people can do it if they want, but the last thing I'd want to do is watch (or hear about it!).

When you say you blame your brain, are you implying that you wish you didn't get aroused?

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I wouldn't have thought the argument that it's natural else the species would die out wouldn't apply, since asexuality itself goes against that kind of logic. I'm sure it is normal for most people to find sex appealing - I just struggle to understand how asexuals would be among those who are aroused by it. Thanks for your explanation though - that does make a little more sense about how you still identify as asexual. You're saying you're aroused by the act, but not attracted to the people, and asexuality means not being attracted to people. (I think I got that right?)

I've never watched any porn, and have no desire to. I find the idea of it unpleasant. For me, asexuality includes being a little bit repulsed by sex - not just when it involves me, but the act itself too. Other people can do it if they want, but the last thing I'd want to do is watch (or hear about it!).

When you say you blame your brain, are you implying that you wish you didn't get aroused?

Homosexuality isn't exactly good for species surviving, and thus it's in the same category as asexuality - both exists among human-animals (and at least homosexuality exists in other animal-species too) and neither helps the species to breed although they have other different benefits. And when I say this I don't mean homosexuality is bad, I don't know how to express it well :D I mean that in the logic of our species breeding it's not good for that situation just like asexuality wouldn't be good for it either. But as humans we don't need to breed like rabbits in order for our species to exist and multiply. It's still programmed into us to feel some specific way for example towards sex. I wouldn't do it, but I get aroused by looking it. Don't know if that would be the case in real life, and not behind the computer screen, but still my brain and body reacts to it. And still the idea of having sex feels repulsive.

Sex doesn't interest me either, and yet I watch porn in order to get aroused. But if I have the urges to masturbate, how could I relieve the physical pressure, if I wouldn't watch porn or some other similar thing. Sex is out of the question and yet I created this situation in my early teens. My brain works this way, that I need to masturbate. I guess I'm not that much of a asexual since I can get aroused by watching fornication even though I do not find any one sexually attracting and I wouldn't want to have sex and I'm repulsed or don't feel any interest towards woman/man genitalia. The genitalia is one big turn off for me :)

I'd say asexuality is something that varies from total disgust to the fine grey-areas - and that seems obvious when I observe this forum and read about people's stories. I don't know how I can watch porn and get aroused by watching sex and yet be disgusted by certain things about it. I guess we all have our limits. I wouldn't still even consider being sexual without the desire to have sex and find someone to be sexually attractive.

I'm saying I'd be a lot happier if my body wouldn't be so sensitive. I think I might be happier without masturbation (and porn). I could use that time more productively. I'm not sure if I could stop it completely.

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