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Using condoms to promote asexuality

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michaeld

Debate about the condoms split into this new thread from Pictures of WorldPride! topic.

-michaeld (AVEN Project Team)

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Cakey

.

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Leelian

I have noticed...but don't messages apply to asexuals? Some asexuals do not have sex and therefore do not need condoms. But some asexuals still have sex and therefore need condoms or other methods or protection. That being said, I think condoms are a great idea, the messages could be a bit different.

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Kisa the Maccabee

I wasn't at world pride but I want to say handing out condoms is

EFFIN' BRILLIANT

There is this stereotype about asexuality where asexual=antisexual. Might as well nip it in the bud immediately ^_^

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tadkitty

I wasn't at world pride but I want to say handing out condoms is

EFFIN' BRILLIANT

There is this stereotype about asexuality where asexual=antisexual. Might as well nip it in the bud immediately ^_^

IM tadkitty and i approve of this message.:P

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eamonn

I was there handing out condoms, and a lot of people who took them asked about asexuality, and then about asexuals and sex, so I think it was rather useful a means of informing people.

Now, the dental dams?... (I think the dental dams were a well-intentioned effort to be politically correct and inclusive and all that. Unfortunately, I also think that no-one ever uses dental dams.)

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michaeld

In my opinion the focus of your campaign ought to be on your core concerns, once you have established what those are. Personally I would propose that the most pressing one is in teaching people that you are not repressed homosexuals, that you do actually find meaning in non-sexual relationships, and how you find that meaning. I'm not saying any of this is easy.

We handed out literally thousands of flyers at the same event covering these very points.

Now, the dental dams?... (I think the dental dams were a well-intentioned effort to be politically correct and inclusive and all that. Unfortunately, I also think that no-one ever uses dental dams.)

The previous year I embarrassed myself by accidentally trying to hand out a condom to a lesbian couple... I wanted to be inclusive this year, and at first considered "female condoms" but was advised these were rarely used and DDs would be better.

Also thanks to Akira, we now know what a dental dam looks like! (He opened one of the packages and proceeded to put one on to demonstrate!)

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Winter Hill

I wasn't there (and I thankfully have no idea what a 'dental dam' is or what you do with one) but I think it's slightly disingenuous to say "oh, it's a British humour thing, Brits found it funny."

Last time I checked, I was from Britain - and I find the whole idea a little off-putting. We're not a homogeneous blob. Handing out condoms strikes me as more than a little freshers' week and a bit trashy, in all honesty. I also don't like the way in which anyone who objects to this is being derided as 'anti-sexual,' 'sex negative,' or whatever this week's favoured term is.

I think there could have been better ways to put a non-stuffy, sex-positive message across than handing out sex aids like some kind of purple Ann Summers party. What are you going to do next year - throw vibrators into the crowd with 'asexuals wank too, you know' on them? ;) it just seems like cheap student humour and fails to put across any message differentiating asexuality from... well, sexuality.

Okay, warn me! (Again.)

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michaeld

I wasn't there (and I thankfully have no idea what a 'dental dam' is or what you do with one) but I think it's slightly disingenuous to say "oh, it's a British humour thing, Brits found it funny."

Like I said, there are exceptions in both directions (as can be seen from this thread). I found the idea funny and informative, as did others but not everyone. But you can't please everyone, and I no longer try to...

(Btw no-one has said that if you oppose condoms being handed out you are anti-sexual.)

What are you going to do next year - throw vibrators into the crowd with 'asexuals wank too, you know' on them? ;)

Hmmm. Interesting idea... but I don't think we'll do it; masturbation is largely a peripheral issue to us (and we're not allowed to throw things anyway).

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Kisa the Maccabee

The previous year I embarrassed myself by accidentally trying to hand out a condom to a lesbian couple.

Off topic, I was at a seminar where somebody showed us how to turn condoms into dental dams (it was for HIV prevention if anybody is curious).

So you can turn it into a DIY project :P

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5_♦♣

A dental dam is a means of protection for engaging in oral sex.

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Cakey

A dental dam is a means of protection for engaging in oral sex.

My dear, I bow to your superior knowledge! :)

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AnotherMember

Thanks MD for splitting the thread :)

There is this stereotype about asexuality where asexual=antisexual. Might as well nip it in the bud immediately ^_^

First I want to clarify that I'm not point this to Tea or anyone, I'm just taking a reference of what they are saying, to connect my comment with this thread. Take some :cake: Tea Tea

Fact: While some asexuals are antisexuals, some needs condoms.

Ok. It's a good thing to show the world that asexuals are different somehow, some are sexual active, some aren't, some don't care about anything related to sex, some are repulsed, some are antisexuals... However I have a hard time when people try to make a huge effort to hide the true: there are asexuals antisexuals and there aren't just few; I also dislike when some people take "the life mission" to educate antisexuals asexuals (Why should I accept that people try to educate me about how good it's sex? Should that means I'm then not doing good because I'm not educated as an asexual?).

Not because I am not antisexual I will get mad and deny that there are even asexual who are repulsed to the idea of romance. This is a big world, we should chill out more and have more cake :lol:

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Kisa the Maccabee

It's not that, it's that practically every person I know that I've talked to about asexuality believes that asexuality and antisexuality MUST BE COMBINED OR THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE which is obviously not the case. Yes there are antisexual asexuals but there are sex-positive ones too.

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AnotherMember

It's not that, it's that practically every person I know that I've talked to about asexuality believes that asexuality and antisexuality MUST BE COMBINED OR THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE which is obviously not the case. Yes there are antisexual asexuals but there are sex-positive ones too.

Of course there are! ;) Diversity it's a wonderful thing! More cake for you :cake: :)

*and I know you are trying to show the other face of the coin.

I edit for second time: I would loooooooooove so bad to see a poll about this! :lol: I like polls so much :redface:

Edited by YouAreYummy

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Cakey

It's not that, it's that practically every person I know that I've talked to about asexuality believes that asexuality and antisexuality MUST BE COMBINED OR THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE which is obviously not the case. Yes there are antisexual asexuals but there are sex-positive ones too.

Of course there are! ;) Diversity it's a wonderful thing! More cake for you :cake: :)

*and I know you are trying to show the other face of the coin.

I edit for second time: I would loooooooooove so bad to see a poll about this! :lol: I like polls so much :redface:

Excellent idea, my dear Yummy......... To be for condoms symbolising Asexuality, or not? ...To be or not to be, that is the question? :)

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AnotherMember

It's not that, it's that practically every person I know that I've talked to about asexuality believes that asexuality and antisexuality MUST BE COMBINED OR THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE which is obviously not the case. Yes there are antisexual asexuals but there are sex-positive ones too.

Of course there are! ;) Diversity it's a wonderful thing! More cake for you :cake: :)

*and I know you are trying to show the other face of the coin.

I edit for second time: I would loooooooooove so bad to see a poll about this! :lol: I like polls so much :redface:

Excellent idea, my dear Yummy......... To be for condoms symbolising Asexuality, or not? ...To be or not to be, that is the question? :)

Hahah! Wow! LOL I just meant a poll too see if people understand the humor or the condoms or not, that's all about :lol: I must confess it, it took me a time to do it.

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5_♦♣

I thought it was funny immediately upon seeing the pic(s) of the condoms.

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Cakey

Yay, go Yummy go, it's a very good idea, I love poles, but not dancing ones. :)

P.S Maybe, it is not only what we think, that counts, it is also how the wider-world interprets the message and the imagery that we are presenting to them. Their contrasting sexual orientation, may decipher the message differently, or maybe not!!!

I do wonder, if you handed out condoms in two bars, one full of sexuals and the other one full of asexuals. Would the responses would be the same in each? I don't know, and I am certainly not going to find out? :blush:

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Fitzsimmons ♡

And when did condoms become the symbol of asexuality? :lol:

Is it because we handed out condoms along with leaflets, dental dams, and having a huge banner, lots of placards and awesome Tshirts? Why is suddenly condoms the thing that should represent our group or our march?

The lawyers for equal rights behind us are suddenly represented by pins or stickers because they handed them out? :blink:

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Cakey

I thought it was funny immediately upon seeing the pic(s) of the condoms.

We all take away enduring images of our experiences. Laughter does help us remember, I do know that. But how do we really wish to be remembered? For example, between a comedian and a politician, which one would you take more seriously, erm, or are they both the same? :wacko:

Do potential mods use laughter to get their message over, or do they respond more seriously? I don't know myself, check out the current campaigning threads, and see for yourself. :)

Tragically, humour can be reloaded and pointed back at you. Check out how Gerald Ratner made a self-deprecating funny remark, about his products and wiped £500 million of the value of his company. The irony of it is, he'd made the remark many times before, but the final time, it was picked up by a national newspaper and used to ridicule him. The newspaper changed the view of the joke, from a bit of light-hearted, after-dinner-speech banter, into a serious indictment of the quality of his company’s products.

For those who remember Princess Diana, I guess she could be described as either tall and elegant or tall and lanky, both are essentially true, but which one do you prefer? I do hope everyone applies the former view, when interpreting the messages that Aven communicates to the world. :)

And when did condoms become the symbol of asexuality?

Lol, how remiss of me, I meant 'Safe Symbol of Asexuality'... ;)

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michaeld

Sigh.

We handed out condoms with the message

  • to make it clear not everyone is into having sex (uh, this is one of our main points surely), making this point in a humorous and eye-catching way ("have our condoms; we don't need them")
  • clarifying in the process that some asexuals DO actually have sex,
  • making it clear asexuality is not anti-sexuality, defying expectations and negative stereotypes
  • to support safe sex (for people who do have sex).

We were not

  • making condoms a symbol of asexuality (we also handed out flyers - are they also now a "symbol of asexuality"??)
  • taking the piss.

I hope that is now clear enough. If you didn't like the condoms, fine. Others did and they seemed to go down really well with the crowd, and we had a lot of fun handing them out. If you don't like them, I respect that. Nobody is going to like everything we do, and in the grand scheme of things our condoms + dental dams were a tiny part of our WorldPride visibility effort.

That is all.

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Cakey

What are you going to do next year - throw vibrators into the crowd with 'asexuals wank too, you know' on them? ;)

Oh gosh, don't give them ideas, I would prefer to arrest the 'Stealth-Sexualisation' of Aven, rather than encourage it....... :)

What are you going to do next year - throw vibrators into the crowd with 'asexuals wank too, you know' on them? ;)

Hmmm. Interesting idea... but I don't think we'll do it; masturbation is largely a peripheral issue to us (and we're not allowed to throw things anyway).

oh dear, I'm guessing you've misphrased that, else wouldn’t that imply, 'Encouraging guys to safely bugger each other,' is an Aven core message, surely not?

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Cakey

I hope that is now clear enough. If you didn't like the condoms, fine. Others did and they seemed to go down really well with the crowd, and we had a lot of fun handing them out. If you don't like them, I respect that. Nobody is going to like everything we do, and in the grand scheme of things our condoms + dental dams were a tiny part of our WorldPride visibility effort.

That is all.

I understand what you are saying, the problem is, when you put labels on yourself, you put them on all of us!

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Fitzsimmons ♡

General reminder: do not resort to personal attacks nor judging. No decision on WorldPride was made by a single individual and everyone is free to hold their opinions. Let's respect each other.

Keeping with this behaviour may result in this thread being split off and locked.

Thanks.

ithaca

Moderator

This thread is being locked for no less than 24 hours and Admod review. Again, "no decision on WorldPride was made by a single individual", so accusing one member to make decisions and put labels on everyone is highly unfair.

ithaca

Admin

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Fitzsimmons ♡

Topic is now open. You may choose to treat this as an opportunity to enhance the community by discussing various outlooks and feedback on this particular situation. If there are future incidents of making things unnecessarily personal, it will be locked again and stay that way. Attacks on any member or anything else contravening the ToS, will not be permitted. That having been said, discussion can resume.

ithaca, Admin

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AnotherMember

Thanks for re-opening. I believe we can have a mature discussion about this topic. I'm one of those who want to share an opinion in relationship with the condoms.

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