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Using condoms to promote asexuality

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michaeld

Anyone care to comment on the glaring inconsistency of these messages? Not a great deal of thought perhaps? "Some asexuals have sex" but "take these condoms, we don't need them"? Asexuals believe in unsafe sex then I guess.

Might want to revise the message for next year I think.

Or maybe the first side was a joke, with the second side there to clarify (hence the "actually"), lest anyone be misled into thinking that no asexuals have sex (as a literal reading of the joke suggests)?

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Cakey

Anyone care to comment on the glaring inconsistency of these messages? Not a great deal of thought perhaps? "Some asexuals have sex" but "take these condoms, we don't need them"? Asexuals believe in unsafe sex then I guess.

Might want to revise the message for next year I think.

Or maybe the first side was a joke, with the second side there to clarify (hence the "actually"), lest anyone be misled into thinking that no asexuals have sex (as a literal reading of the joke suggests)?

How embarrassing, no one mentions condoms on here, there is no condom forum, no major threads about condoms, so why offer them out to represent us? Why not offer out cake? That is our message. :)

As I have said before, when you are under the yoke of a bigger organisation, you start acting like that bigger organisation!! We seem to be under the yoke of the LGBT, are we going to start wearing skimpy underwear or sexually revealing clothes at these marches, or has it already been done?

May I ask, Just how far are you going to go to undermine our message, lol?

Or have I got it completely wrong, am I missing a trick?

Perhaps we should have a new condom shaped icon, and remove the cake one. The we can say to new members.

'Welcome to Aven, we hope you find the site useful, have three condoms'

All we need now is someone to work out the story of:

'The Legend of the Condom' ;)

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michaeld

And how many people are likely to get a joke like that do you think? That's an 'in' joke for people who understand asexuality. Most people don't believe asexuality is a real thing. They think asexuals are repressed gays. I think you guys inadvertantly gave weight to that impression by handing out condoms at a gay pride march. But that is just my opinion of course, as an outsider.

Many people did get it and found it amusing. But yes: the condoms did divide even our own group (being the only thing I think not everyone was keen on). Last year at Pride London they worked a treat and everyone loved them. To some extent I think it's a British humour thing; although there are exceptions in both directions, for the most part I noticed the Brits in our group loved the condoms whereas the non-Brits found the idea confusing. Just my personal observation.

But while there was negative feedback there was definitely positive feedback too about the condoms. In fact the Reading Pride people are trying to collect the remaining condoms to hand out at the asexual stall at Reading Pride in a few weeks (see this thread, in particular #40 and #43). But *shrugs*. You can't please everyone.

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Cakey

It is like a slimming company teaming up with McDonalds and giving out McDiet burgers!!!

Condoms are a sexual symbol. When friends of mine used to have one in their handbag, everyone used to smile and chide them gently, knowing they intended to 'cop off' with a guy that night. No one was thinking, 'how vigilantly safe and civically responsible,' they were being!

The message that condoms give out, is a lasivious one, not an innocence one.

New Yorkers Have A New Sex Symbol

By being under the yoke of the LGBT, we are now starting to promote their message, not ours. The Terrence Higgins trust provides them to gay and lesbian clubs\pubs\societies (The girls use them on their dildoes to avoid infection)

We should be promoting our own message and identity, a reflection of Aven, a mirror to the asexual soul, not a distorted image through the prism of the LGBT.

It may be 'a laugh' for you, but not for those of us who are out at work and continually being undone by these misleading messages!!!

Where is the marketing expertise, common-sense, the understanding of the human condition, here?

Just where is our identity? Marketing wise, we are supposed to promote an identifiable message, giving out cake would get us noticed, instead, we seem to be falling inline with the LGBT and trying to promote their message, with a 'when in Rome' attitude?

How can we explain our lack of sexual attraction by promoting sexual symbols?

Honestly, to me, somewhere in this set-up, there is a rank odour!!!

Edited by AceOfGypsies

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Fitzsimmons ♡

What do you mean with rank odour?

As it's been said, the decision of condoms and of the message on them has been discussed by the whole worldpride committee and voted on. The majority chose for the result you see, I hardly see it as problematic for HOW it was chosen.

On a further note, who decided that asexuality = innocence? and that is for everybody? Innocence is in itself a misleading word, potentially just as much as condoms.

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Notte stellata

I think the "joke + fact" message on the condom package is quite smart. As long as people read both sides, I don't think it would cause any misunderstanding or confusion. It also helps clarify "asexuality =/= celibacy".

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Cakey

Rank Odour = The idea stinks.

World Wide Pride committee, it is a rather grand and august title, but who are these people, are they voted in? I trust they are not just an unelected cabal? As this is quite an important policy decision, to sexualize Aven in order to get our message across!

Innocence = cake or sweets, lascivious = sex aids like condoms, imho.

If you were going to give vouchers away for children’s toys, you would most likely package them with boxes of cereal or indeed, cake. If you were going to give vouchers away for sex toys, it would be more appropriate to package them with condoms or something along those lines!

Now that it appears we have the gossamer touch and are official endorsing a sex aid or 'feather-light genital safety wear,' I truly believe that this is the beginning of the sexualisation of Aven!

If a teacher gave some 10 year olds a piece of cake each, nothing much would be said, if the teacher gave them condoms, amongst other things, they would probably be accused of encouraging sexual behavior, it would be inappropriate, as inappropriate as a asexual organization sponsoring the same sex aid.

It seems we have to fall in line with everyone else and sexualize ourselves in order to get our message over?

Surely, there is a better way, a strategy that enunciates our uniqueness, using symbols that are more emblematic of our ideals and core subjects discussed on the Aven forum?

Do we have to be a clone of all the other sexualized parts of society, just to fit in?

P.S. It is an in-joke, people on the outside probably won’t be getting it, we have hard enough time on here working out asexuality, how do we expect the uniformed public to understand asexuality, especially when it is presented in the form of an oblique joke!

We need to stop people laughing at asexuality, not encourage them!

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bristrek

Oh for...

1 - Some asexuals have sex. Fact.

2 - Asexuality isn't some purity movement and a good number of aces find people thinking it is frustrating.

3 - A large number of asexuals, including repulsed aces, are actually sex positive. Even if we don't want sex ourselves, safe sex is an important thing for the health of lots of people. Including the aces who have sex.

4 - Handing out condoms (and dental dams) helps combat the idea that we are all scared of sex and hate the idea of anybody having sex thus we are asexual whilst providing a good talking point.

5 - Handing out cake would have been nice but also completely unrealistic. We had a thousand condoms and about 500 dams and we pretty much ran out of them. So we'd need at least that many cupcakes which would cost more and also take up many times more the amount of space. We were already lugging around a cart as it was.

I'm sorry you don't like the idea. Most people did. They went down well and even some Police officers took some. It helped raise awareness and made people smile. And not because they were laughing at us but because it was fun and a joke and we played on their expectations and defied them in a friendly and productive way.

I call that a win.

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michaeld

I believe you have severely muddied your message. Lets be honest, you did this so you would look cool with sex, even though none of you supposedly want it for yourselves. I guarantee that the average person now considers your organization a joke, or they think that you really are repressed gays as many of them believe. Because the average person only promotes what they want for themselves.

I have a higher view of the average person than you do.

In my opinion as an outsider who has been an active member of this community for more than two years, I believe you guys need to work out firstly if you actually do want sex, and secondly what you seek from your relationships. And then promote that.

That might be a tad tricky because some of us do want sex and some don't. And many of us who don't want sex and are in fact repulsed by it (such as myself) are sex positive or at least sex neutral, and are quite happy to undermine the idea that asexuality is about "innocence" or an aversion to the idea of sexuality.

As for what we want from our relationships: you'll probably get about as many different answers to that as asexuals you ask.

So it is up to you. Do you want to be a serious representative body for asexuality, or do you just want to have fun and try to look cool?

The first two please (not so bothered about looking cool).

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silvernlilac

.

3 - A large number of asexuals, including repulsed aces, are actually sex positive.

And many of us who don't want sex and are in fact repulsed by it (such as myself) are sex positive or at least sex neutral, and are quite happy to undermine the idea that asexuality is about "innocence" or an aversion to the idea of sexuality.

Erm how can you be sex repulsed but still be sex positive? That makes no sense to me as surely they are complete opposites

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Cakey

I have a higher view of the average person than you do.

Is that an incisively-intellectual appraisal? If so, I feel that your 'high-minded' view, is not one that understands the human condition or realises what really makes people tick. (Though, to be honest, none of us can ever fully realise!) In this country we have had paediatricians attacked because people confused them with paedophiles ( I can't give the various links as I am in the office, check out the web). If you are marketing the unknown to someone, you should be looking to lead them by the hand.

You seem to be looking at them through your eyes? Shouldn't you be looking at them through their own eyes?

quite happy to undermine the idea that asexuality is about "innocence" or an aversion to the idea of sexuality.

I meant 'innocenct,' as in being untainted by an opposing product. Let's turn it on it's head, you wouldn't be advertising condoms through a celibate magazine, would you?

It does seem as though you are quite prepared to undermine a lot of ideas, without a thought to how it impacts on others.

I'm sorry you don't like the idea. Most people did. They went down well and even some Police officers took some. It helped raise awareness and made people smile. And not because they were laughing at us but because it was fun and a joke and we played on their expectations and defied them in a friendly and productive way.

I call that a win.

Are you sure you defied their expectations, instead of confusing them?

To say it 'went down well/I call that a win' is subjective, I am quite prepared to believe that the Gay Pride Asexual Awareness Campaign succeeded, but only if you can provide me with a list of members who have joined as a direct result of this marketing blitz.

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Cakey

.

3 - A large number of asexuals, including repulsed aces, are actually sex positive.

Erm how can you be sex repulsed but still be sex positive? That makes no sense to me as surely they are complete opposites

Good point!

Lol, does that make them Arepulsed. :)

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Fitzsimmons ♡

.

3 - A large number of asexuals, including repulsed aces, are actually sex positive.

And many of us who don't want sex and are in fact repulsed by it (such as myself) are sex positive or at least sex neutral, and are quite happy to undermine the idea that asexuality is about "innocence" or an aversion to the idea of sexuality.

Erm how can you be sex repulsed but still be sex positive? That makes no sense to me as surely they are complete opposites

I can explain this.

Being sex-repulsed is a personal thing: you don't want to be yourself involved with sexual contact as it grosses you out or whatever.

Being sex-positive means that you think everyone should have the possibility of expressing thir own sexuality as they feel like it and be free to have sex as they please (as long as it's legal, obviously it's not a justification of rape or child abuse).

The opposite of sex-positive is not sex-repulsed, it's anti-sexual and/or heteronormative :)

So you can totally be sex repulsed ("I don't want to have sex because I don't like X or Y and it repulses me") and still be sex-positive ("but everyone else is free to do as they wish"). Makes sense?

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Fitzsimmons ♡

General reminder: do not resort to personal attacks nor judging. No decision on WorldPride was made by a single individual and everyone is free to hold their opinions. Let's respect each other.

Keeping with this behaviour may result in this thread being split off and locked.

Thanks.

ithaca

Moderator

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Blitzentan

I think the committee did do their best to tailor things for their 'audience'. Although it was a 'World Pride' event, a fair proportion of the attendees were Brits...now Brits have a peculiar sense of humour which doesn't travel well but I'd have found it amusing, an oxymoron of sorts.

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Cakey

Being sex-repulsed is a personal thing: you don't want to be yourself involved with sexual contact as it grosses you out or whatever.

Being sex-positive means that you think everyone should have the possibility of expressing thir own sexuality as they feel like it and be free to have sex as they please (as long as it's legal, obviously it's not a justification of rape or child abuse).

The opposite of sex-positive is not sex-repulsed, it's anti-sexual and/or heteronormative :)

So you can totally be sex repulsed ("I don't want to have sex because I don't like X or Y and it repulses me") and still be sex-positive ("but everyone else is free to do as they wish"). Makes sense?

I do see your point, thank you for explaining.

Though I should imagine, it would be rather a mouthful to explain in the heat of the moment.

“May I ask what you are?”

“Of course, I am a sexually-repulsed, sex-positive, asexual......have a condom!” :wacko:

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Fitzsimmons ♡

I don't think it's anyone's business if I'm sex-repulsed, it's something about me and my relationship with sex, so it should only concern my partner, you know? Then there's people who like to explain every detail of their sexual life, but that's not me. **shrugs**

And about being sex-positive, it's pretty obvious when you are at WorldPride. You're either there marching (sex-positive), watching (either sex-positive or curious) or yelling at the marching people that they will go to hell for their sins (pretty self-explanatory, ain't it? :lol: )

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bristrek

Some people did ask us about that, and we generally said things along the lines that even if we didn't really want sex for ourselves we still thought safe sex was an important thing. If we had longer cause the line was going slowly and they were interested we'd go into it more.

And yeah, maybe it works best for Brits. Didn't think that'd be the case but there ya go.

Also, I tend to agree with Mic on the view of 'average' people. Sure some are purely motivated by self interest but lots aren't. And plenty more know that.

In any case, I'm off now on holiday. Have fun people.

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5_♦♣

.

3 - A large number of asexuals, including repulsed aces, are actually sex positive.

And many of us who don't want sex and are in fact repulsed by it (such as myself) are sex positive or at least sex neutral, and are quite happy to undermine the idea that asexuality is about "innocence" or an aversion to the idea of sexuality.

Erm how can you be sex repulsed but still be sex positive? That makes no sense to me as surely they are complete opposites

Sex repulsion is a personal attitude toward having sex. Sex positivity is a general attitude toward other people having sex. Never mind, ith already explained the difference.

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ExeCUTE

I only just found this thread (I left the country for a couple of weeks straight after Pride!) but wanted to say thanks for everyone who organised it and making sure we all had a great time! I was going to post my photos but it seems I don't need to (the Tumblr with the condom photos on it was mine).

Speaking of which, I definitely thought they were a good idea. Pride is stereotypically a place where you can expect to leave covered in glitter and with a large receptable full of them, and I think the packaging was not only nifty in that it presented information in a good way, but the subversion of the expectations people had when I handed the packets to them was funny, but in the good way!

(I spent most of the march handing out the condoms and leaflets and such).

Not only were they a lot easier to get rid of than leaflets, for some people standing there, the humour meant that people had a positive reaction, thought about our group for a little longer than an eyeblink, and provided a (nice) laugh.

Most asexual people I know are very sex positive, no matter what their attitude toward it personally (and yes, some asexuals have sex! That was part of the joke!). The freedom to have as much sex as you want and not be shamed for it goes hand in hand with asexuality's aims toward being respected and treated as legitimate, in my opinion. Sex negativity hurts everyone, and in my opinion the condoms were perfectly appropriate, especially as I was able to witness first hand the reactions to them.

My friend and I sadly got separated from the group when it came to the end (walking towards Trafalgar Square?) which was a shame, but I still had a lovely day. I'm glad I decided to make it my first Pride attendance!

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Beachwalker

I found more pics on this tumblr:

tumblr_m6v6z1QrHW1qd4xtmo1_500.jpg

Anyone care to comment on the glaring inconsistency of these messages? Not a great deal of thought perhaps? "Some asexuals have sex" but "take these condoms, we don't need them"? Asexuals believe in unsafe sex then I guess.

Might want to revise the message for next year I think.

Yes review the message and print it on something else. Why condoms? Why not pens, fridgemagnets, wristbands, tea bags?

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Fitzsimmons ♡

Yes review the message and print it on something else. Why condoms? Why not pens, fridgemagnets, wristbands, tea bags?

The whole last page of this thread has explained this choice several times.

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5_♦♣

Pens? How the heck would one get all that text onto a pen? Teabags? Wouldn't the text come off in hot water? And even if it doesn't, I seriously doubt people would want a hot beverage on a (presumably) hot day. Wristbands are rather cliche and fridge magnets? With the exception of people who collect those, who cares about fridge magnets?

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Herr Joseph von Löthing

'Have this pen/teabag/magnet, we don't want them!'

Doesn't really work like that.

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eamonn

Well, might as well throw in the towel now. Clearly, the 'asexual movement' has been dealt a crippling blow by the ambiguous condoms.

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Cakey

'Have this pen/teabag/magnet, we don't want them!'

Doesn't really work like that.

Indeed not!........... At a Sexual Festival..!!! ;)

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