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AnotherMember

Homoromantic / Asexy lesbian time!

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AnotherMember

The purpose of this thread it's to talk about the homoromantic or lesbian experience. Of course Bi girls and intruders are invited to talk too, but you will be an intruder :evil:, just like me :rolleyes: haha!

Are you asexual lesbian or better called homoromantic?
How was it the process of discovering it? Did you find out first that you are homoromantic or lesbian -or insert here proper name- and then asexual?
Are you yet not sure?
Have you come out of the close as any of both?

Editeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed! LOL

Please inform me if this need more editing for failing in labels :P

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Girl George

Super confusing because I realized I was into chicks before I realized I was also asexual. I knew I went gaga for girls but not in the same way other lesbians did and I couldn't wrap my head around it. It took me a couple years to realize I was a romantic asexual who's got a preference for ladies. Now the only obstacle left to tackle is finding someone out there who fits, which is proving to be super difficult.

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AnotherMember

Now the only obstacle left to tackle is finding someone out there who fits, which is proving to be super difficult.

I have no doubt at this point, no one else have joined the talk :o :lol:

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runester

As I scroll merrily along, I'm always reading on various threads about asexual romantics who are 'into' dating, being room-mates, cuddling, hugs, maybe some (light) kissing, etc., just no actual sexual intercourse. I am sure that somewhere in those descriptions, there are different orientations with one solidly fitting a lesbian tendency; and if not - why not?

EDIT by runester: please allow me to alter my use of the word "intercourse" to "relations". That's all I meant. :)

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Fitzsimmons ♡

As I scroll merrily along, I'm always reading on various threads about asexual romantics who are 'into' dating, being room-mates, cuddling, hugs, maybe some (light) kissing, etc., just no actual sexual intercourse. I am sure that somewhere in those descriptions, there are different orientations with one solidly fitting a lesbian tendency; and if not - why not?

What does intercourse have to do with a thread for homoromantic asexual females? :blink:

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AnotherMember

As I scroll merrily along, I'm always reading on various threads about asexual romantics who are 'into' dating, being room-mates, cuddling, hugs, maybe some (light) kissing, etc., just no actual sexual intercourse. I am sure that somewhere in those descriptions, there are different orientations with one solidly fitting a lesbian tendency; and if not - why not?

What does intercourse have to do with a thread for homoromantic asexual females? :blink:

Now I'm thinking... those that means that the term lesbian isn't the right if you are an asexual female? Sorry... I yet don't know all the stuff and terms around. :redface:

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Fitzsimmons ♡

"asexual lesbian" is fine, i've seen it used by many people to self-identify both here and on aven-italy.

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UraNepu

intruder me :rolleyes::ph34r:

please yummy ignore this post :wub:

Are you asexual lesbian?

I'm aromantic but I'm a lesbian themed fiction writer XDD

How was it the process of discovering it? Did you find out first that you are lesbian and then asexual?

I started writing lesbian themed fiction before I knew I was ace

Are you yet not sure?

I'm very sure all I want to write is girl on girl fics

Have you come out of the close as any of both?

I'm outed ace and I'm outed femmeslash writer

I have to say that lesbian Aces ROCK (well all ACES ROCK) :wub:

I was only here to intrude :ph34r: :ph34r:

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Whimsy

I figured out that I was a lesbian and spent years trying to pretend I wasn't, figured out I was gray-a, and then (just recently) accepted that I was a lesbian. :blink: It still makes my head spin a little.

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runester

As I scroll merrily along, I'm always reading on various threads about asexual romantics who are 'into' dating, being room-mates, cuddling, hugs, maybe some (light) kissing, etc., just no actual sexual intercourse. I am sure that somewhere in those descriptions, there are different orientations with one solidly fitting a lesbian tendency; and if not - why not?

What does intercourse have to do with a thread for homoromantic asexual females? :blink:

Hi, "ith"! Absolutely nothing, as I read what I posted over and over again! I was more answering to the post making the observation that there was a dearth of people replying to the OP, than anything else. I used a poor choice of words, as I was attempting to say that I was surprised there were not more posters on the thread.

It seems to me that there is a someone for everyone, here on AVEN; as it should be. Please believe that my intentions were pure. I guess I merely don't know the terminology today's lesbians use for the 'sex act'. I'm going to stop now, before I dig a deeper well to drown in!

EDIT: Please note I altered my use of the word "intercourse" to "relations", above. I hope that goes with the flow of the posting more sensibly. TY for your patience with me; and if I upset you, "ith", it was unintentional to be sure!! :)

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AnotherMember

intruder me :rolleyes::ph34r:

please yummy ignore this post :wub:

Are you asexual lesbian?

I'm aromantic but I'm a lesbian themed fiction writer XDD

How was it the process of discovering it? Did you find out first that you are lesbian and then asexual?

I started writing lesbian themed fiction before I knew I was ace

Are you yet not sure?

I'm very sure all I want to write is girl on girl fics

Have you come out of the close as any of both?

I'm outed ace and I'm outed femmeslash writer

I have to say that lesbian Aces ROCK (well all ACES ROCK) :wub:

I was only here to intrude :ph34r: :ph34r:

I can't ignore you!

35823i.jpg

:lol:

(...) but every once in a while I still have a major religious crisis over it

I wonder about this, if you are lesbian but asexual why would still be a bad thing seen from an "against gay religion" perspective.

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UraNepu

I can't ignore you!

35823i.jpg

:lol:

BUWAHHAHA I sure do the dirtiest ones since I'm a natural pervert :lol:

*noms on yummy because is yummy* :wub:

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AnotherMember

@runester Oh! I forgot to say, when I replied: I have no doubt at this point, no one else have joined the talk :o :lol:

I meant that I was amused of how few asexual lesbians or homo-romantic are in Aven, or maybe they just don't care to post :P not that I thought people should find someone in Aven.

I can't ignore you!

35823i.jpg

:lol:

BUWAHHAHA I sure do the dirtiest ones since I'm a natural pervert :lol:

*noms on yummy because is yummy* :wub:

You always make me laugh or smile :P

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UraNepu

You always make me laugh or smile :P

:wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

aaawww that's so great to know at least I make one person having fun, on the contrary with all those I keep on annoying >< :(

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Carsonspire

It's great to see other lesbian/queer aces here!

There is actually an AVEN-related forum [here] dedicated to asexual lesbian discussion. It can get quiet over there, though. It would be nice to generate more interest and dicussion here.

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Fitzsimmons ♡

It's great to see other lesbian/queer aces here!

There is actually an AVEN-related forum [here] dedicated to asexual lesbian discussion. It can get quiet over there, though. It would be nice to generate more interest and dicussion here.

This is really interesting :) I didn't know of this forum ^_^

Thanks :cake:

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AnotherMember

It's great to see other lesbian/queer aces here!

There is actually an AVEN-related forum [here] dedicated to asexual lesbian discussion. It can get quiet over there, though. It would be nice to generate more interest and dicussion here.

This is really interesting :) I didn't know of this forum ^_^

Thanks :cake:

Me neither! :o I'll take a look* at it. Thanks

Edit: OMG I think I was sleeping when typed: I take a lot at if :lol:

Edited by YouAreYummy

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CBC

I wrote a response to this the morning it was posted, sitting on a bench at the mall and typing away on my iPhone. I also instantaneously deleted said response right before posting it by accidentally pressing one wrong thing, got super annoyed at my stupid phone, couldn't be bothered to write everything out again, and went to browse a nearby store instead. :P

 

Anyway... I'm perhaps grey-a I guess, and possibly biromantic. Kinda like... half what you're looking for then? Haha. I suppose I entertained the possibility in my mind that I might be a lesbian before I knew anything about asexuality, but I identified as being somewhere on the asexy spectrum (first asexual, then grey-a) long before I was sure about the biromantic part of things. The process of realising it was mostly a case of having feelings for someone that went very unmistakably way beyond friendship, because I never would have had the same thoughts about a platonic friend. This also happened after I'd gotten married, and the feelings were for someone who (to the very best of my knowledge) is straight. It was messy and unpleasant as hell, especially as the person I had interest in has terrible judgement when it comes to appropriate interaction with people and liked to say things that were very easily open to misinterpretation, even after I pretty much informed her that I was bi... and yeah, I'll spare you the whole sob story here, haha. Seriously, that shit could take up a thread just by itself. Anyway, I suppose that led me to do a lot of thinking about the whole subject of being biromantic (maybe bisexual in my case, given that I identify as grey-a), and I realised that yeah, I was definitely not hetero. I guess I can see myself with a male or a female; it really just doesn't matter. I'm a little sad that I wasn't more sure of this earlier on, because I've never really gotten to actively explore that part of my identity... but then I suppose I can't see myself with anyone other than my husband anyway, based on the way we work together and his personality and such, so possibly it's fairly irrelevant.

 

I'm not really out as anything in particular, though there are a few people who know about my connection to AVEN and a few others to whom I've mentioned the bi thing. Being married to a guy, no one has any reason to believe I'm anything other than heterosexual, though if someone asked me outright if I was asexual or bi/lesbian, I have no doubt that I would be honest about my grey-aceness and the fact that I'm biromantic. For some reason, I sometimes feel as though I'd kind of like to be a bit more open about both... but then I'm not sure if there's much point in the end.

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Neree

Hi, I'm an intruder. :ph34r: I'm a biromantic asexual, and I identified as bisexual first.

I discovered that I'm bi last year, and just discovered AVEN last week. I was born and raised in a very strict/conservative Catholic environment, which I only just left 4 years ago. So I guess it makes sense that I figure these things out on years #3 and 4. The first two years were spent figuring out much less complicated things about myself.

It took me around 6 months to be sure and comfortable of identifying as bisexual. My story is similar to CBC.Radio.Girl's and I can really relate to what you wrote. For me, it started with a surprise crush on a female friend. I was married to my current husband at the time, so I'm glad my husband and I are poly - it would've made it all even more confusing if we weren't. She was straight, too, and very flirty with me. I tried to write it off as a one-time crush that meant nothing. Or that I was over-reacting and the feelings weren't as deep as I was acting like they were. I figured I just took the flirting too seriously or... something. But the more I was honest with myself, I realized none of that was true. I also wish I'd realized it earlier. I was 26 at the time. The people I hung out with in high school were so accepting of everyone, LGBT people included - I really could've had a chance to figure myself out then!

As far as being ace, I came here to see what the word "asexual" meant and it was like a huge weight off my shoulders. My thoughts were "so I'm not broken, and neither is my marriage?" After 2-3 days of thinking, debating, and worrying I was like Anne... you did this to yourself with the bisexual label. You've already had this discussion with yourself about that. Shut up, don't torture yourself about this for 6 months too. You know you're ace, so admit it and get used to it. So I did, haha. I'd say identifying as bisexual first made it easier for me to identify as ace. I already knew it was not a big deal to realize I "am" something or to accept a label. I'd done it once before, so I could do it again.

I haven't "come out" as in, announcing it to anyone. But I'm not quiet about who I am, either. One by one people have found out that I'm bi, just through conversation. There are people who don't know, but they've never asked and my conversations with them never lead to it. So it's not necessarily that I haven't told them, I would if it came up and it hasn't, is all. As for being ace, I don't know if I'd be able to admit that so easily. Not that I'm embarrassed, just that I would fear bad reactions. Not even so much bad reactions directed at me, I could handle those - but bad reactions directed at my husband! I'd be afraid that a) they would assume my husband is also ace, so it'd be like "outing" him as something he's not and b) they'd judge him or think he's broken or something. So we'll see, I'm not sure how I'll handle this yet.

35823i.jpg

I laughed so hard at this! I'm a huge perv. I can pervify so many sentences that people wouldn't even think could be pervified. I've wondered if that makes me hypocritical as an ace. I guess this means it doesn't. :lol:

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UraNepu

I laughed so hard at this! I'm a huge perv. I can pervify so many sentences that people wouldn't even think could be pervified. I've wondered if that makes me hypocritical as an ace. I guess this means it doesn't. :lol:

no that makes you a person with sense of humour, pervy Aces FTW :lol:

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98slbrookes98

I identify as an asexual lesbian yes but I usually tend to say that I love women and confide the asexual half to those I am close to.

I knew I loved females right from a young age - around 9/10. I had crushes on female teachers and then an unrequited love for my straight best friend for years. After I finally moved on fromher, I had on and off internet dates with other women and in Second Life under my male avatar I was in unrequited love with a best friend for over two years, found a girlfriend, dated her for months, we drifted apart and I ended things and then started dating a new girl whom in Second Life I am very much in love with.

I knew I wasn't interested in sex with anyyone from about the age of 9 or 10 as well but I didn't discover the term asexual until I read it in the newspaper at seventeen and then researched it.

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Skullery Maid

There are some asexual lesbians around... a handful at least, but I'm drawing a blank on some names (and many are members who don't post much anymore). Scholastic, hi there!

My partner is lesbian and asexual, I suppose. Neither of us use the word "lesbian" because it's icky. I identify as "gay" when I'm forced to identify, but generally I don't identify as anything. People assume I'm straight until they meet my partner, then they get it and all's good. I prefer NOT having to disclose unless necessary.

My partner discovered her gayness long before her asexuality. It took awhile for her to accept the asexual thing, in part because she just never thought about sex. A lot of you felt like you were immediately different because of your lack of sexual interest, but I do think that coming out as gay takes some of the pressure off of that. There's a reason why you're sexually confused, and that reason is: lesbianism! If a lesbian isn't particularly interested in sex, it's because they're 1) a woman (come on, we know women don't like sex!), 2) repressed, 3) dealing with religious or moral shame. My partner thought she was just dealing with sex shame, but over the course of a few years, she has come to see that what she has is an indifference to sex... she's not ashamed of it or afraid of it, and she's had a lot of sex so she's not embarrassed or new to it.

We took a stroll back through her relationships once to examine the sex issue. I asserted that, contrary to her perspective, it actually isn't entirely normal to never want sex, always be "too tired" or otherwise engaged to want to have it. At first she said "but I haven't had much sex in any of my relationships!", but after looking through the mirror of the past, she realized that it was a major issue in each relationship she had... but somehow she just managed to overlook it. Possibly because women are much less pushy than men about sex? I'm always surprised when I hear stories from straight women about the bullshit their boyfriends will do and say to have sex.

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Kitty Spoon Train

women are much less pushy than men about sex? I'm always surprised when I hear stories from straight women about the bullshit their boyfriends will do and say to have sex.

When women want sex and a man doesn't put out, they just assume the man finds them unattractive...

But this is exactly what kept my acey tendencies hidden for so long: I happened to be involved with fairly conservative women, so the lack of sex in the relationships just never came up - especially in the case of my first gf, who didn't believe in sex before marriage for religious reasons. And I sort of earned a patient and gentlemanly reputation without trying - and without realising that there's actually something odd about a dude "putting up" with a sexless relationship for years. :lol:

EDIT: Oh and yeah, sorry for intruding! :twisted:

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AnotherMember

@Skulls :( I can't name the thread gay time, because... oh well... wouldn't be the thing I want to discuses.

EDIT: Oh and yeah, sorry for intruding! :twisted:

:o Intruder alert! *Alarm sounds*

LOL kidding... but maybe you could have faked to be a lesbian -_- :lol:

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CBC

@Skulls :( I can't name the thread gay time, because... oh well... wouldn't be the thing I want to discuses.

Haha, "gay time" sounds rather hilarious. Not sure why... but it reminds me of the fact that apparently there's an ice cream bar in Australia called "Golden Gaytime".

gaytime.jpg

I also am not fond of the term 'lesbian', and if I was strictly homoromantic/homosexual, I think I'd much prefer to go with 'gay' instead.

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Fitzsimmons ♡

I also am not fond of the term 'lesbian', and if I was strictly homoromantic/homosexual, I think I'd much prefer to go with 'gay' instead.

Same here. :)

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Cakey

Mmm, I do wonder, if homosexual women are called Lesbians, are homosexual men called Gaybians?

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AnotherMember

Oh gosh seems like most dislike the term. Should I change the name of the thread to: Asexy-female-gay time? :lol:

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