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Is kissing considered a sexual act?


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WhenSummersGone

In my opinion I think there's a difference between the love you have with your family compared to the love you have for someone you are in love with. I think romantic kissing is different than sexual kissing, as in showing affection towards your partner

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so-much-random

I am confused too. For me, (I am asexual as far as I know), I would definitely kiss someone and I like the idea of kissing. But then on one forum someone said kissing was sexual, and then I was all confused - like, am I somehow sexual now just because I want kissing?

edit: I just read some posts and it would appear making out is sexual so...crap.

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FabulousEnding

A kiss is just a kiss and nothing more. I've kissed guyfriends that I had a sensual attraction to and it didn't mean anything and neither of us felt anything. It was like a hug to me. In fact, I regularly kiss my cat and dog on their heads as a sign of affection. :) I'm an extremely affectionate person and I love kisses. They are comforting to me. People are just hearing the word "girlfriend" and assume it must be sexual.

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FabulousEnding

I am confused too. For me, (I am asexual as far as I know), I would definitely kiss someone and I like the idea of kissing. But then on one forum someone said kissing was sexual, and then I was all confused - like, am I somehow sexual now just because I want kissing?

edit: I just read some posts and it would appear making out is sexual so...crap.

You can make out and still be asexual. I've had plenty of biology-and-hormone-driven-non-romantic sex in my lifetime and it doesn't change the fact I'm asexual. If it's of a sexual nature I was either just bored, or trying to seduce the guy in front of me because my hormones were going crazy completely independent of the guy. No matter what I do or don't do, I still don't feel sexual attraction to anyone. What makes you asexual is your motivation for doing it. If you are looking at someone and going, "You are so hot, I must make out with you and tear all your clothes off and go at it." Then that is not an asexual motivation. If it's, "I like you and I'd like to kiss you a lot and hug and cuddle you." That is an asexual motivation. Your hormones are going to respond to certain things because that's what your body does... It's wired to react to certain physical feelings, sights, sounds, etc. Still doesn't mean you aren't asexual.

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Kissing is very sexual to me. You're exchanging bodily fluids. It's extremely intimate. Also, I hate it. I've always detested kissing. *shudder* I much prefer hugs. Hugs are so much nicer.

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First, I think it depends on the type of kissing. A mother kissing their child is usually a peck on the lips or a peck on the cheek and is obviously not sexual.

When it comes to deeper kisses, I would term those intimate and sensual but not necessarily sexual. There is a certain closeness and intimacy that comes with deeper kissing that could very easily verge on sexual or progress into something sexual, but such does not have to be the case always.

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It depends on the person. The sexuals I've known consider kissing to be a sexual act (when it's not family). They definitely consider making out sexual. So even if you don't consider kissing sexual, you have to be aware that it will be taken to be so if the person you're kissing thinks it is. That may not be right or fair from your standpoint, but it's reality.

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It depends on the person. The sexuals I've known consider kissing to be a sexual act (when it's not family). They definitely consider making out sexual. So even if you don't consider kissing sexual, you have to be aware that it will be taken to be so if the person you're kissing thinks it is. That may not be right or fair from your standpoint, but it's reality.

Yeah it does depend on the people. My boyfriend finds kissing sexual - he will NOT make out unless sex is the end result, he considers it teasing for a person to do so. He finds kissing arousing and typically, I try to avoid more than a peck because it leads to him wanting sex.

For me, kissing is just fun. It's not arousing, it's not sexual. I don't like tongue kissing really (I just always feel weird and end up thinking "what am I supposed to be doing with my tongue? Ack, this feels odd, a little gross.. ok, can we end it now?"). Open mouth kissing is fine, as long as tongues stay in their own mouth. It's like cuddling, or hugging.

But the intention/feelings behind each person make it something or nothing. To one person, kissing is sexual, to another it isn't. To one person cuddling is sexual/romantic, to others it isn't. Which is why things get really confusing.

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  • 3 weeks later...
BreathSoBitter

*revives topic*

This is something I've been thinking about A LOT lately because I've been in a similar situation in that my parents told me when I told them I'm asexual kissing is a sexual act so how could I possibly want to kiss someone?

Now, I hadn't actually been confronted with kissing someone until the past month or so. And that kissing has...ranged from really innocent type (like, peck) to really not (full on making out). A lot of people here see that making out as a sexual thing especially when it involved tongue but I have to disagree with that. When I'm making out with my boy, I don't feel like it's an inherently sexual thing for me to be doing. Even when it does get kinda...sexual...it's not a sexual experience for me and for that reason, I don't see it as such. For me, making out is this expression of a desire to be super close to him and this feeling that I simply can't get enough of him. And I don't get a whole lot out of the experience (like...not a whole lot of sensation or anything) but it still makes me really happy because it helps me to feel closer to him. And it's a way I can show him how much I like him and he shows me how much he likes me.

But like, what I find to be weird and interesting is the fact that even though for me making out isn't sexual and is just a way of expressing immense affection, it can be for him. And what I'm getting out of the experience is so different from what he is getting. Like, I find that really really fascinating.

Another thing I've learned is the method of making out can depend on how sexual vs. romantic the situation is. Like, when it's intense and fast, bodies pressing together sort of event...obviously more of a sexual tone. But when it's slower then it's waaay more romantic. And I can enjoy both but the latter is obviously waaaay better.

*shrugs* I dunno. Those are my thoughts. Like I said, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. About how kissing can be considered a sexual thing.

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ignoranceisn'tbliss

Now, I hadn't actually been confronted with kissing someone until the past month or so. And that kissing has...ranged from really innocent type (like, peck) to really not (full on making out). A lot of people here see that making out as a sexual thing especially when it involved tongue but I have to disagree with that. When I'm making out with my boy, I don't feel like it's an inherently sexual thing for me to be doing. Even when it does get kinda...sexual...it's not a sexual experience for me and for that reason, I don't see it as such. For me, making out is this expression of a desire to be super close to him and this feeling that I simply can't get enough of him. And I don't get a whole lot out of the experience (like...not a whole lot of sensation or anything) but it still makes me really happy because it helps me to feel closer to him. And it's a way I can show him how much I like him and he shows me how much he likes me.

Same thing here.

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I don't think of kissing as sexual, but obviously it depends on the context.

I never used to enjoy kissing but it's actually grown on me lately, and as an asexual I don't think of it as an explicitly sexual act. It's more enjoying someone's company and a way of showing affection, IMO anyway!

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There's lots of different types of kissing (if its during sex or foreplay than it's sexual). Personally I'm not a fan of kissing more than a quick 'peck on the cheek'.

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Woah. I can't even wrap my brain around the idea of kissing being a sexual thing. To me it's nothing more than a playful gesture...but then again I hate anything involving quick pecks. Strange how people interpret things differently.

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Would you kiss your grandma the way you'd kiss your girlfriend? Depends on the kind of kiss doesn't it. Sometimes you might kiss your girlfriend sexually, and sometimes not.

I just wan't to quote this part of what this other person said. I feel this is 100% accurate of an answer, and the most fitting one posted. I kiss my grandmother all the time, I don't find it at all sexual. I find if you are having more... hardcore kissing... then it would be oral-oral sex by definition. If it's meant to be sex, it's going to be, if it is meant as a romantic gesture, it probably will be.

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