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Intellectual Attraction


BrightEyes

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Personally, I need to be able to talk to someone on the same level. Not to sound arrogant, but I can't stand having to "dumb down" to talk to other people.

I understand that completely. I have a tendency to be a little elitist, and people who just won't understand what I'm saying grate on me. What I really adore in a person is someone who knows or is interested in the same things I do/am, because then I can really talk to them. I love having long conversations about nothing important, just because I want to.

The intellectual attraction thing has always been a factor with me. I used to joke I had a thing for 'older men' - Sean Connery, Sir Ian McKellen, people like that - because I liked their gentlemanly appearance and the way they seemed like they had experienced so much more. Knowledge is very sexy (or should I say asexy?).

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biggreenmonkey
Personally, I need to be able to talk to someone on the same level. Not to sound arrogant, but I can't stand having to "dumb down" to talk to other people.

I get it. When I was younger, I used to be very up on current events, and had a fair graps of everything that was going on. However, I was the only one, and it was very frustrating not to have friends who could converse with me on the same level. It's sort of lead me to not persue my intellectual activities, because I'm so used to having it frustrate me. It's odd though, now that I am around people who are very intelligent, I don't have a clue what's going on. Figures :P

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biggreenmonkey
The intellectual attraction thing has always been a factor with me. I used to joke I had a thing for 'older men' - Sean Connery, Sir Ian McKellen, people like that - because I liked their gentlemanly appearance and the way they seemed like they had experienced so much more. Knowledge is very sexy (or should I say asexy?).

I completely agree! My favourites are the middle aged people, with the grey-ish hair... mm... VERY asexy :D

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DocIndigo76

For me, there's a very safe feeling that comes about from intellectual attraction. It's usually my first clue that someone is willing to at least try to understand my position on sexuality...but it's a bit dangerous at the same time because then the whole attraction business turns into the likes of a dry academic thesis. :lol: I use my brain too much.

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I think it is the base human instinct to either go for very intelligent or very attractive people. It is the instinct to give offspring the most fighting chance you can in the hostile world that lays out there.

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I feel very strongly about this, although It also makes me quite parranoid when it comes to me finding someone who is at my level...it makes me ask myself, "wait, what if its because they've lowered themselves down to my level? Am I in fact being seen as the dumb one by this other person?"

I hate how it feels to talk to someone you feel is dumb, I can't say it and i don't have the right to but it can make things real hard, though it is kinda sweet when they do try their best...

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I understand that completely. I have a tendency to be a little elitist, and people who just won't understand what I'm saying grate on me.

Truly. I become furious when it seems to me that people are trying not to understand.

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Totally agree with you lauren, I'm in the same situation with the person im attracted to, although she isnt married and kinda hates men...DOH

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  • 2 weeks later...
Opel the Old

i enjoy long intellectual chats with smart folks

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completely changed from "Since I'm smart I should experience new things and learn more" to "Since people are attracted to me, I should become a bitchy skank and sleep around"... you know the type.

Aye its happened far too many times....its such a waste of a mind right there...so many people succumbing to the dark side.....(im not a star wars fan)

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And another thought I just had: what if I'm bisexual but a repulsed-asexual towards men and an indifferent-asexual towards women? Coming from a guy who has been calling himself heterosexual it seems a little farfetched... until I admit that I had a crush on a guy last year (since he's a friend, I never had the guts to tell anyone before :) - it was before I knew about the term 'asexual' and it was a strange crush that I couldn't explain, like I said, repulsed and attracted at the same time). Does varying asexuality towards both genders/sexes even exist or am I just a bit inhibited? Or both?

PS: Sorry for complicating a simple topic :)

I think it's perfectly possible, Zrylam, based on some of the things I have learned here at Aven.

I had never realized that it is possible to be sexually attracted to one sex and romantically attracted to another. I believe it was called being either hetero or homosexual and bi-romantic at the same time. It's in an old thread and I have no idea where to look for it.

Still, if that is possible then I don't see why you couldn't be repulsed-A toward one sex and indifferent-A toward another. It sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

-Greybird

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And another thought I just had: what if I'm bisexual but a repulsed-asexual towards men and an indifferent-asexual towards women? Coming from a guy who has been calling himself heterosexual it seems a little farfetched... until I admit that I had a crush on a guy last year (since he's a friend, I never had the guts to tell anyone before - it was before I knew about the term 'asexual' and it was a strange crush that I couldn't explain, like I said, repulsed and attracted at the same time). Does varying asexuality towards both genders/sexes even exist or am I just a bit inhibited? Or both?

Umm well err (looks around) well i can say that i had the same experience....although i prefer females for looking for freindship and romance and i think im asexual....about 2 years ago i had a bit of a "crush" on a freind of mine...not saying hes ike a woman or anything :roll: Im kinda replused by most males unless theyre a very specific kind of personality and normally most females seem to have that....although that makes things real difficult for me...

edit: about one and a half years ago i started having a crush on a female...it was sexual...thats for sure....it lasted for 2 years and after all the agony of problems being freinds and misunderstandings; i tried looking for help and found out that i could just be asexual...which made things clearer but also much harder...

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