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As if questioning my sexuality wasn't enough...


honeyandthemoon

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honeyandthemoon

...this would be so much easier if I was single! :?

Maybe I'm just being impatient, but I really wish I could figure out right now what on earth my orientation is. The more I read this site, the more I think I'm asexual. Then there's still part of me that thinks I could be a lesbian, but I don't know since I've never been with a girl. Currently, I live with my boyfriend. I love him, but I feel awful that I'm going through all of this and I don't feel like I can talk to him about it. We've talked about it a little before, but that was quite some time ago, and we don't discuss it anymore. He said once that he wants to be with me even if we never have sex, but I have a hard time believing that he really means that. Even if he does mean it, it just makes me feel guilty.

I just don't know what to do. Should I break up with him, even though I love him? The more I think about it, the more I realize that I have no desire to have sex with any boy. I feel like we're both putting our lives on hold for each other, and I don't know if that's okay or not.

My questions:

1. What should I do??

2. Did any of you decide you were asexual while you were dating a sexual? How did you tell him/her?

Thanks. :)

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biggreenmonkey

I feel very similar to you. I'm afraid I can't offer advice, as I am sleep deprived, angry and have a headache, but it's not easy to figure it all out, especially when you run the risk of hurting someone else.

Lots of hugs and best wishes.

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1. What should I do??

Talk to him. Tell him how you feel, and if you guys can make something work, great, if not, perhaps it'll hurt less than just out and out breaking up with him.

2. Did any of you decide you were asexual while you were dating a sexual? How did you tell him/her?

I did. I just out and out said "I found out recently that I'm asexual" and then just started answerng questions.

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i keep getting out of relationships the moment i sense the "red light" buzzing off. whilst im a quite affectionate person, hugs/kisses etc....i hate to commit in a relationship and if the other person started to expect more im skipping off quickly. im forever pulling back and offered nothing more than friendship.

i dont know...i really prefer just friendships. :oops:

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Omg, you're like my TWIN! LOL. I'm going through exactly the same thing as you...well, i WAS!

As i've read posts on here i've thought more and more that i could be asexual, however, i'm also thinking i could be a lesbian. I had a boyfriend who i've just broken up with recently. I loved him but i didn't want to have sex with him.. i'm unsure if i want to have sex with girls. I broke up with him to clear my head, gather my thoughts, ask myself if i really wanted to be dating him. Still not clear, blah, why can't i find out right NOW? lol

Anyway, you shoudl dsicuss this with him. Tell him you read an article on asexuality and it's interested you because there are many similiarities between you and asexual people. Flow on from there....

You have to ask yourself.. Are you happy with him? Do you need time to think alone? Do you need time to explore? Can you still go out with him being unsure about yourself? (I couldn't and that's why i broke up..i ad to bee 100% sure i wasn't a lesbian lol). Is he willing to not have sex and still go out with you/can you come to an agreement?

Good look *hug* it's hard, but least WE understand.

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