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Male equivalent of "tomboy"?


ithaca

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I apologize if this has already been asked, or if I'm posting in the wrong section maybe, it just seems to fit better in Gender section than in Off-A.

So we all know what "tomboy" means. I was on AVENit and someone was explaining how they think they might be bigender while describing what I'd call "tomboy" (not judging, just an impression I had). So I added "tomboy" to the list of definitions people were picking their labels from.

I feel I need to specify how discussions about gender are pretty much non-existant in my country, both because of ignorance and bigotry. So introducing a Gender forum on AVENit (where I'm in the staff) is a pretty drastic move to take :lol:

One of the admins then asked me if there's a male equivalent for "tomboy" and if I could add it to the definitions list. I kind of flailed :unsure: I never realized there's probably no such word. So I googled it and I found this forum discussion, for example. Most google results talk of "metrosexual" but it's not something I heard very often.

What term do (or would) you use?

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A sissy.

I mean, I dunno, really. "Tomboy" means a girl who is into boyish things. Never wears skirts, wears a ball cap, plays sports, catches frogs, plays with Tonka trucks and action figures. But is still fundamentally a cisgendered girl. And it's almost always something adults apply to her, until she adopts the label as her own (and from there might redefine it). There really isn't an equivalent term for boys that originates from the same source.

Metrosexual is... well, I dunno, a straight guy that is into fashion and personal hygiene, to the point where some might think he is actually gay, and seems to be rooted in some pretty stupid stereotypes.

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A Janegirl?

This reminds me of when Dane Cook proposed a female version of "jacking off". He called it "jilling off" :lol:

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A nancy!

Yeah, i would'v taken effeminate, but the answer already got stolen >_>

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Nomad in Stasis

Well, speaking from personal experience, most guys who are feminine are called gay be other males. I have been called a "Nancy" before, but I am pretty sure it was to be an insult. When I was at an art school I was called a metro, which was never used as anything mean or negative and I was much more accepted for it. So, I say Metro works just fine. Of course I never understood that until just now. X_X

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Yeah I was looking for something that isn't used as an insult :unsure: Nancy or sissy, as far as I know, are used as insults.. Effeminate is a noun? I think in any case it doesn't have the same 'strength' as a word as 'tomboy' which doesn't come from an adjective.

I think this might come from the fact that little girls who act like boys are, often but not always, accepted: there's nothing wrong with wearing trousers and playing football if you're a girl, in many families.

But a little boy playing with dolls, to make an example, I believe was often corrected (if not punished), giving him toys for boys and telling him he shouldn't play with things like dolls. So maybe this is the reason there's not an appropriate word for a male in this case?

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Nomad in Stasis

But a little boy playing with dolls, to make an example, I believe was often corrected (if not punished), giving him toys for boys and telling him he shouldn't play with things like dolls. So maybe this is the reason there's not an appropriate word for a male in this case?

Yeah, when I was younger, if I played dolls with my sister, I was punished. Just so many parents don't know what to do with males who are feminine. -_-

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Yes, effeminate can also be a noun. Metro works...except it's usually used for grown men, not kids. All the equivalents sound derogatory because it's a boy showing delicacy and supposed weakness, whereas a tomboy is a girl showing strength.

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Great Thief Yatagarasu

I've heard "Sissy boy" used, but really would you want to call yourself that?

Oddly enough, I do think I have a genderqueer identity, and I've been using the term "tomboy" to describe it so far. Dunno who it was you were thinking of, but I find it funny that that might be a legitimate gender identity at some point. :D

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The Bearded One

In a male-dominated society, guys can do whatever they want. Girls are expected to restrict themselves to their place in society (guess who is most influential in deciding "their place"). Tomboy is a term that identifies females who do not accept their place. In this situation there is no male equivalent, since guys "place" is whatever they decide it is.

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Great Thief Yatagarasu

In a male-dominated society, guys can do whatever they want. Girls are expected to restrict themselves to their place in society (guess who is most influential in deciding "their place"). Tomboy is a term that identifies females who do not accept their place. In this situation there is no male equivalent, since guys "place" is whatever they decide it is.

Aside from the fact that guys can't do anything remotely feminine without being seen as being gay. Doing "girl's things" is a degrading action in the eyes of some blokes, because it puts them on the same level of women, and they see being a woman as a bad thing. I'm not saying that ALL guys are like that, but I think enough guys think like this that it makes hard for effeminate guys to do what they want.

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Metrosexual is... well, I dunno, a straight guy that is into fashion and personal hygiene, to the point where some might think he is actually gay, and seems to be rooted in some pretty stupid stereotypes.

That's me. I didn't realise there was a name for it!

I love shopping for clothes, don't like football, prefer wine to beer, am great at secretarial things and pay far too much attention to fragrances etc.

Probably why I've had blokes coming on to me before.

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I don't think that there are any positive names for men to take on feminine interest while still being cis-male. Tomboy is still a cis-female who has what are typically male interests.

In this male dominated society, there is a certain fear of the feminine or at least a viewpoint that it is lesser. The only gender that it is appropriate to display those traits are women, while it is not considered inappropriate for women to take on male traits and interests since masculinity is tacitly considered better or good. Even some feminist do this, they consider a more traditional expression of femininity bad or weak and that women should shy away from make up and dresses to take on a more masculine or dominate appearance to garner respect and to shake of the shackles of society.

How many times are other girls who feel like they are "better" or more "practical" than those girls who love shopping, love make up, love being really delicate and "girly", how many times it is expressed that those girls look down on them? "I don't deal with all that make up and fashion bullshit. Those girls are sooo sad." Tomboys are slightly more respected in society for being able to do more manly or masculine stuff. If a girl can change a tire men give more brownie points to them than the girl who can totally make over the guy. The two skills are totally valid, but the masculine skill is seen as much cooler and impressive than the traditional feminine one which is seen as more impractical and frivolous.

Therefore, if you are looking for a term for a cis-male who has feminine interests that is not an insult, I don't think you would find one. Since today, even girls who display ultra feminine interests and traits are considered lesser than women who display them to a lesser degree.

Also this metrosexual thing, I thought it was silly to even give it a name that indicated it another sexual orientation, which it is not. There have always been men who care about their appearance. High heels were originally made for MEN! At a certain point in time it was considered normal, and not necessarily feminine to care how you are presenting yourself. I bet you that those men would not argue that caring about personal appearance is a feminine thing that they gladly enjoy. Tomboys totally would admit that their interests are things that are mostly masculine, but for a guy to admit that personal hygiene is feminine would be very hard. They are even marketing personal hygiene products like loofahs, as body scrubbers, since "loofahs" sound too girly.

http://www.amazon.com/Feminine-Hygiene-Products-Manly-Manner/dp/0741448890

There is the idea that for men to use things that are traditionally feminine, they have to convert it to be appropriate for men to use. To make it MANLY.

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When I was a kid, the male equivalent of a tom boy was a sissy boy, and he would be the kid that got beat up a lot. On those rare occasions when he played sports, he "threw like a girl." They were usually better behaved than most boys, though, because they did not swear or spit or steal your stuff, except they would be annoying and cry and be afraid of bugs. I was the little girl who was not afraid of bugs, and there was a little boy in my neighborhood who would cry if he saw a bug. "What? It's only a bug!" Wha-wha-whaaaaaaa !!! A bug!

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Azure.Providence

In a male-dominated society, guys can do whatever they want. Girls are expected to restrict themselves to their place in society (guess who is most influential in deciding "their place"). Tomboy is a term that identifies females who do not accept their place. In this situation there is no male equivalent, since guys "place" is whatever they decide it is.

You are almost correct except the sexism isn't geared towards men/women directly but more at femininity/masculinity. Women can more or less express masculinity without much trouble but if men express femininity it can be treated as treason sometimes. This is because in societies eyes femininity is weak and masculinity is strong. That is why it is more or less acceptable for a woman to be a tomboy but if a man wants to do the opposite theres not even a word for it because you just don't do that. Most words to describe a feminine male are insults for this same reason.

Tomboys totally would admit that their interests are things that are mostly masculine, but for a guy to admit that personal hygiene is feminine would be very hard. They are even marketing personal hygiene products like loofahs, as body scrubbers, since "loofahs" sound too girly.

Manpurse, Guyliner, Cologne(same exact thing as perfume!), avoidance of certain colors because they sound too girly...

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5_♦♣

A google search showed Jane girl as the male equivalent. Another result that came up was metrosexual.

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Yeah I was looking for something that isn't used as an insult :unsure: Nancy or sissy, as far as I know, are used as insults.. Effeminate is a noun? I think in any case it doesn't have the same 'strength' as a word as 'tomboy' which doesn't come from an adjective.

That's the thing though. In traditional culture, it's a bad thing for a boy to be girly, hence the insults.

A girl acting like a boy, however, can be seen as cute or endearing.

"Janeboy" sounds nice, though it's undoubtedly something recently coined, and in any case, seldom used.

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Interesting thread. I've been wondering if I could have been the male equivalent of a tomboy, but it somehow got beaten out of me during my upbringing. I mean, I dress fairly casually, like tinkering around with things, and enjoy a pint of beer, and I'm fundamentally a guy, but I love cats and getting a hug (whether human or feline).

I seem to recall ages ago I had a go at sewing and knitting, then was put off them by them being "girlie" things. Though actually when you think about it, it's a useful and practical skill to have as it allows you to fix things - it's like engineering for clothes. A good thing to have in your arsenal.

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Calligraphette_Coe

About the only ones that come close are adjectives-- 'nice' or 'sensitive'-- not nouns. I did once have a science teachers who observed "You must have had parents that beat politeness into you, you're always kind and nice." Funny thing was, it really turned out that it was "peers" who thought it was great fun to beat it OUT of me.

Isn't it funny how pretty much all the nouns for this are slurs? I heard many others like 'swish' or 'pantywaist'. There's also the somewhat less pejorative 'girlie boy', but that was usually meant as an insult, too. Shouldn't it make one wonder if the real reason behind this is that in a patriarchal society, being female means being a second-class citizen, and for a supposed heir to first-class-citizenship to aspire to or accept second-class-citizenship is FAR worse and simply UNACCEPTABLE?

Maybe that's why God is always depicted as really masculine and all the angels are androgynous?

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Not much to add to many of the other comments, except to say I sadly agree that societal mores say it's laughable at best and bad and degrading and perverted in general for males to exhibit any traits or interests that are traditionally delegated or designated as feminine. Of course, women can only go so far towards masculine before they get slurred, too. The bottom line is it's restrictive for anyone who doesn't fit neatly into rather narrow and definitely arbitrary boxes.

Having said that, it is true that there is no commonly used male equivalent to tomboy in the English language.

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Interesting points made. I personally think that the male stereotype has sort of a broad-reaching middle ground and a far end in the really burly, muscular body builder types. For females, the stereotype seems to be further to the 'girly' end of the scale and only has a fairly narrow window for feministic qualities. Because of this, I see a lot more women that would be 'Tomboys' than men who would be the opposite. (Only my thoughts and observations really.)

I find I'm personally a fairly well-rounded guy. I try not to let things that are supposed to be feminine get in the way of my own actions. I cook, bake, sew (own my own sewing machine and make things from cushions to stuffed animals to patching clothes), I like to be artistic, I try to write poetry now and then, and so on. I think I've been fairly lucky in liking and appreciating just enough 'manly' things to be left alone for my life.

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I've heard "Sissy boy" used, but really would you want to call yourself that?

Yes. I would, and do. I'm a sissy boy. So yes some of us do call ourselves that affectionately, and are reclaiming it. Thanks.

When I was a kid, the male equivalent of a tom boy was a sissy boy, and he would be the kid that got beat up a lot.

Yeah meaning continually violently assaulted, physically and verbally abused and blamed for it.

On those rare occasions when he played sports, he "threw like a girl." They were usually better behaved than most boys, though, because they did not swear or spit or steal your stuff, except they would be annoying and cry and be afraid of bugs.

Yeah that was me. I'm so sorry that even though I didn't steal your stuff or spit at you I had the nerve to annoy you by crying and being afraid of bugs. <_<

In a male-dominated society, guys can do whatever they want. Girls are expected to restrict themselves to their place in society (guess who is most influential in deciding "their place"). Tomboy is a term that identifies females who do not accept their place. In this situation there is no male equivalent, since guys "place" is whatever they decide it is.

:blink: Wow. Whole lived experience in life... theorised out of existence.

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I always just used the word "effeminate" for the "girly" qualities I have. Again, I use it for qualities rather than an overall label for myself, though, so it might not fit what you're looking for.

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