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There was an account, I don't think it was on AVEN, of a girl who was being forced to go to a therapist by her parents to try and 'fix' her asexuality. There are times people get harassed for it, people thinking that they can 'fix it' and so on and so on. So I don't think anybody here or in the wider asexual community we have it as wide spread and institutionally bad as other LGBT groups on the basis of being ace (though for those who aren't hetero or a romantic and aren't cis get this via the more traditional areas). But that doesn't mean it doesn't sometimes suck. And erasure can be a, well, it isn't big compared to legalised hate but it's still crappy, ask the bisexuals.

I remember reading about this case in France in a divorce proceedings where a man was forced to pay a fine to his soon to be ex-wife because he didn't want to have sex. I don't know if it was specifically her he didn't want to have sex with or if he didn't want sex at all though I got the impression of the latter. Which sucks.

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I don't see it a detriment to the asexual community to ally with groups that focus on overcoming heteropatriarchy and heteronormativity. Sure, asexuality differs and can be discriminated or excluded by individuals who consider themselves part of the LGBTQ (just as misogyny, racism/homonationalism, cissexism, and so forth, can plague both asexual and LGBTQ communities), but it doesn't mean that asexuality does not and cannot fit within the general epistemological framework and the aspiration for social justice. I used to sit in on an LGBT group at a university where asexuality was recognized as contributing to challenging to the societal assumption that humans are biologically predestined to feel compelled to partner monogamously with someone binary opposite in sex/gender in order to produce offspring. The point is to continue to work together to find similarities (including the will toward diversity) and to create an inclusive space where needed. I don't think any community is without its flaws, but it has to be assessed as to whether or not its premises are fundamentally flawed or whether it is a misunderstanding or prejudice of individuals acting within the community.

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I'm not ace and haven't really been involved much with LGBT activism, but at my college the acronym they used was LGBTQIA with A standing either for "asexual" or "ally." It seemed natural to me and good for visibility to include all kinds of sexual/gender minorities under one umbrella, no matter the degree or kind of discrimination. (And that may have been only the second time in my life I heard of asexuality.) Then again, the transgender stuff on their information sheet was fairly garbled, at least judging from what I'm seeing online, so I don't know how well it worked in practice.

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As an ace, I really don't care if it affiliated with LGBT and nor I would give a damn about visibility about others as I don't see any point into coming out ever.

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As an ace, I really don't care if it affiliated with LGBT and nor I would give a damn about visibility about others as I don't see any point into coming out ever.

Visibility is not only about coming out. I don't care about coming out either. Visibility helps many people understand that they're asexual, if they never heard of it and they felt they are "broken" or "alone". You can find a discussion on "why visibility" here, if you want to read about it.

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Already read it and I don't really care. I can see the point, but I see no point to partake into it.

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With all the letters having been added to the LGB(TQAI?) I really have no idea what it is they do and who they represent. As a heteroromantic and what I know of what the LGB was initially, I would have never gone there to find out about my asexuality.

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With all the letters having been added to the LGB(TQAI?) I really have no idea what it is they do and who they represent. As a heteroromantic and what I know of what the LGB was initially, I would have never gone there to find out about my asexuality.

Just as a note, LGBT (or GLBT) is pretty much the accepted base of the acronym and has been for a good number of years. It's the Q, A, I, P and other things that are the 'tag ons'. Erm, just because I can be pedantic. Though it's true that the LGB bit and the T bit have different experiences it's sort of amalgamated into this 'gender/sexual minority' grouping.

Just like other things it keeps growing and evolving and it's becoming a group of communities relating to people who aren't part of the hetoerosexual/cisgender/dyadic 'norm' of mainstream society and awareness. Dyadic, by the way, is the flip side of intersex in the same way cisgender is for transgender.

But to each their own, if you don't feel like you fit in it you don't, and that isn't a rare view for a heteroromantic ace (especially cis and dyadic ones which I wont presume you are or aren't).

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I find some GLTB issuesw pertinent to asexuality, particularly to isssues dealing with a majorly heterosexual society as well as well as the view that some people still have that non-heterosexuality is something to be fixed. I found some people, actualy most people, in GLTB that a lack of desire is something very wrong whereas at times, even though I don't necessarly agree with the view, I will find heterosexuals that will find that the lack of desire is a blessing, a view that I don't get in GLTB communities. As such, without discrediting the GLTB's efforts to make society a bit more accepting, I don't beleive that asexuality belongs within the GLBT community anymore than the heterosexual one.

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Sophiatrist

Am I personally a part of the LGBT community? No. As someone else mentioned I think it is a very individual thing. Though I am somewhat bi-romantic I tend to lean more towards hetero relationships. I tend to identify my orientation based on my romantic attraction and not a sexual (or lack of) attraction. And being an almost plain vanilla feminine female I do not lean towards any sort of queer spectrum.

Does the LGBT community feel that asexuals are a part of them? In general they do not seem to. The only time I ever see asexual as a part of a groups description are the college/university Gay Straight Alliances. They tend to include LGBTTIAQQxyz. And allies. And pretty much anyone else who wants to be included.

Neither the local Pride organization nor the statewide one makes mention of us in their mission statements. Nor does EqualityVA. The local LGBT Center and the one in the state capital have no programs to support asexuals. I am sure that the LGBT Center here would be more than happy to host a support/social group for asexuals if they were asked to or if they saw an ongoing need for one. To the best of my knowledge the idea has never been broached.

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I am assuming that GLBT has a national (USA) representation; over-riding a statewide group, which would seem counter-productive, to me - as I am a 'grass-roots' believer. Actually, there may be an international grouping. I only learned of the term 'asexuality' eight months ago, even though I know I am born to it for over sixty years. This is still quite a learning experience for me.

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98slbrookes98

"Quiltbag" includes 'asexuality', which in itself includes 'pansexuality'. Do I have this right? I hope so, because I thought that the important feature was getting 'asexuality' formally recognized as an orientation.

Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction.

Pansexuality is the possibility for sexual attraction regardless of sex/gender.

As far as I can tell, QUILTBAG is

Q: Queer, Questioning

U: Unidentified

I: Intersex

L: Lesbian

T: Transsexual/gender

B: Bisexual

A: Asexual

G: Gay, Genderqueer/fluid/etc

It IS missing pansexual. But honestly, I think the distinction of pan/bi veers into some of the overlabeling craz. Especially when "bi" no longer means "man and women" but "any two sexes" and they invent polysexual to go with that and... really, eh. I don't even know.

That's really clever - Quiltbag I mean.

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  • 2 years later...
TooOldForThis

Don't know the difference between questioning and undecided - maybe questioning means that all possibilities are open, whereas undecided means that one is definitely not heterosexual/heteroromantic/cisgender but is not sure about the details.

Also, what about the GSRM acronym? I think it's entirely inclusive (stands for 'gender, sexual, and romantic minorities) and since it uses umbrella terminology, there's no need to add extra letters on the end if new labels appear.

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there's also the term mogai...

MOGAI = marginalized orientations, gender identities, and intersex. it’s meant to be an all inclusive umbrella term for asexuals, homosexuals, multisexuals, trans people, and intersex people. it’s a bit easier to type than LGBTQIAP+, and i think it feels more equal/inclusive.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think I am apart of the LGBTQAlphabet Soup label. I'm not straight, so I face discrimination and hardships. I had to come out to my parents and I have to come out to friends and potential partners. I'm told that my orientation is inferior/doesn't exist/etc. So yeah, I face the stigma that other LGBTQAlphabet Soup people face, in fact even more so, because if I came out as gay, nobody would ask me what that means. Everyone knows what being gay is, and to a lesser extent, being bisexual.

I'm also a lesbian (when I am a romantic) and so I do fall into the LGBT category.

LGBTQA basically means "not heterosexual." I'm not heterosexual, so I fall under that label.

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