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What do you want out of a relationship?


Miss Smith

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Lady Heartilly

OMG that's so adorable! :lol: Thanks for the lovely visual! :cake:

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

I'm so tickled by the description, I had to take this picture for you guys:

002.jpg

**Likes** that much that I may eat them hahaha

But I will boil and torture them first. :evil:

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In a relationship I would like... firstly someone who doesn't think about sex much/at all. (not a be all and end all requirement, but a preference nonetheless)

I would like to have someone who strengthens my weaknesses, and whose weaknesses I make up for. Someone who brightened my day to be around, and who I could spend a lot of time with, talking, arguing/philosophising, hugging/being close to and working together. I would like it if they were an academic sort of person like me, and it would be a bonus if they loved ballroom dancing!

They would hopefully be independent, strong, and able to manage their own life/career without getting themself into trouble all the time like so many people do. Hopefully they'd be pretty, preferably more introverted than extroverted (I'm an introvert) and someone with a strong and unyielding sense of self.

Marriage, quite possibly, children, not impossible in the future.

A partner would have to have an active sense of humour, and not be one to get upset about things in life. I don't let life phase me, and so I like people who don't let stupid things in life get on the wrong side of them. Honesty is mildly good in life.

I'm a serious person, so a ditz is off the cards.

tl;dr: Hugs/closeness. Potentially marriage, potentially children. Intellectual and best friend whom I trust and could be fully open with.

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preciousillusions

Count me as a "looking for couch potato"!

Don't get me wrong - I'm all for going out (to a movie, to a vegan restaurant, to venture into the City), but I very much like to hang out at home and catch up on tv and the Netflix queue.

A disappointing conclusion to a week's worth of OkCupid correspondence with someone yesterday solidified my need for a fellow-couch potato.

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Kitty Spoon Train

Same! I am the biggest introvert and I tend to use books/movies/tv shows as an escape from society. Now I have pretty much worked up this 'ideal' in my head that anyone who doesn't 'court' me with a grand romantic gesture isn't good enough :( Which sucks, seeing as the world isn't like that...

I'm exactly the opposite in this respect...

The way I picture my "perfect relationship" (not that I really idealise it like that any more, but I don't know how else to phrase it), is that it would just naturally grow out of a very comfortable and organic friendship. No need for any kind of explicit grand gestures or "courting". *shrug*

A disappointing conclusion to a week's worth of OkCupid correspondence with someone yesterday solidified my need for a fellow-couch potato.

I recently re-wrote my OkCupid profile, basically being outright self-deprecating about being introverted and boring, and looking for someone to be couch potatoes with (as a general foundation of the relationship anyway). :)

I'm just not bothered trying to "sell myself" as someone interesting and exciting any more. If someone can't stand an introvert who prefers to snuggle under a blanket on the couch watching DVDs on a cold Friday night instead of going out (90%+ of the time at least), things just aren't gonna work. And here's the thing: I've learned the hard way that this is not something you can "compromise" on either. I mean, sure I can force myself to go out more with a more social partner, but in the long run it won't work - because the underlying drives are still different, and those physical acts of going out more don't actually count for much. They can feel that you're not really into it, and will still feel disappointed. No matter how much you go along and how often.

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

I'm just not bothered trying to "sell myself" as someone interesting and exciting any more. If someone can't stand an introvert who prefers to snuggle under a blanket on the couch watching DVDs on a cold Friday night instead of going out (90%+ of the time at least), things just aren't gonna work. And here's the thing: I've learned the hard way that this is not something you can "compromise" on either. I mean, sure I can force myself to go out more with a more social partner, but in the long run it won't work - because the underlying drives are still different, and those physical acts of going out more don't actually count for much. They can feel that you're not really into it, and will still feel disappointed. No matter how much you go along and how often.

This. I have got to the same point and it bothers a lot most men, but I cannot try to make a show to get someone and then to be myself, expecting to be loved when I wasn't real with them.

*By the way Guzica and Sweetex are from the same place right? mmm Have you gone to a meet-up? :P

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Same! I am the biggest introvert and I tend to use books/movies/tv shows as an escape from society. Now I have pretty much worked up this 'ideal' in my head that anyone who doesn't 'court' me with a grand romantic gesture isn't good enough :( Which sucks, seeing as the world isn't like that...

I'm exactly the opposite in this respect...

The way I picture my "perfect relationship" (not that I really idealise it like that any more, but I don't know how else to phrase it), is that it would just naturally grow out of a very comfortable and organic friendship. No need for any kind of explicit grand gestures or "courting". *shrug*

A disappointing conclusion to a week's worth of OkCupid correspondence with someone yesterday solidified my need for a fellow-couch potato.

I recently re-wrote my OkCupid profile, basically being outright self-deprecating about being introverted and boring, and looking for someone to be couch potatoes with (as a general foundation of the relationship anyway). :)

I'm just not bothered trying to "sell myself" as someone interesting and exciting any more. If someone can't stand an introvert who prefers to snuggle under a blanket on the couch watching DVDs on a cold Friday night instead of going out (90%+ of the time at least), things just aren't gonna work. And here's the thing: I've learned the hard way that this is not something you can "compromise" on either. I mean, sure I can force myself to go out more with a more social partner, but in the long run it won't work - because the underlying drives are still different, and those physical acts of going out more don't actually count for much. They can feel that you're not really into it, and will still feel disappointed. No matter how much you go along and how often.

I'd be careful how you word your profile. If you describe yourself as wanting to sit around all the time it'll give the impression that you're fat and lazy, surrounded by empty crisp packets. Sell the romantic stuff (like you said here about snuggling) and say something about what you do to keep healthy. People are attracted to healthy people.

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I'm just not bothered trying to "sell myself" as someone interesting and exciting any more. If someone can't stand an introvert who prefers to snuggle under a blanket on the couch watching DVDs on a cold Friday night instead of going out (90%+ of the time at least), things just aren't gonna work. And here's the thing: I've learned the hard way that this is not something you can "compromise" on either. I mean, sure I can force myself to go out more with a more social partner, but in the long run it won't work - because the underlying drives are still different, and those physical acts of going out more don't actually count for much. They can feel that you're not really into it, and will still feel disappointed. No matter how much you go along and how often.

This. I have got to the same point and it bothers a lot most men, but I cannot try to make a show to get someone and then to be myself, expecting to be loved when I wasn't real with them.

*By the way Guzica and Sweetex are from the same place right? mmm Have you gone to a meet-up? :P

I've never been to a meet up. I'm near Melbourne and last time I looked I didn't know any of the members who were meeting in Melbourne. I like to have met people on the forums first, rather than turn up cold.

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I want somebody who I can take care of and who can take of me. I want somebody who will inspire me to be the best that I can be, and who I can inspire. I want a person who can handle my emotional baggage and who I feel comfortable telling things to. Trust, compassion, somebody who will travel the world with me. And cuddles. There have to be cuddles.

I don't know about children or marriage or anything (I think I'll let that wait till whenever). I do know that I don't want biological children...ever.

I don't know if I want this to be romantic or not (I'm leaning towards romantic at the moment), but I would love something like this.

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Kitty Spoon Train

I've never been to a meet up. I'm near Melbourne and last time I looked I didn't know any of the members who were meeting in Melbourne. I like to have met people on the forums first, rather than turn up cold.

Yup, same.

There was one recently which I couldn't make it to because I had a previous engagement (coffee date with a girl from OkCupid of all things :P).

But because I didn't really know anyone (as a forum personality even) who seemed to be attending, I wasn't very fussed either, even if I could have made it. I'd be more enthused if I knew some of the regular forum personalities who I've gotten to know were going.

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Wow, I have to say that this topic has really shocked me, as I never would have guessed so many people could echo the feelings I've had. I always thought I was the only one who felt the way I do, but apparently I'm not alone after all. ^^

What I would want out of a relationship would mostly just be companionship. Someone to share my life and the world. I would prefer not to have sex, but could deal with it once in a while. For me, I'd rather just cuddle all day and night. I can never have enough affection.

Marriage isn't something I'd want for myself, but again I wouldn't mind doing it for the sake of my partner. Children, however, are out of the question. I've no desire to become a parent. Maybe it could change with the right person, but I really highly doubt it.

I think the most important thing about the person would be gentleness and kindness. I get anxious and scared easily, and I absolutely could not deal with someone who yells. I'm very quiet and soft-spoken, and I've never seen the need to scream to resolve conflict. Yet, some of my family is this way and there's not much I can do to stop it. I don't want a future with someone loud. Someone peaceful, sweet, and patient is what I want. I need the patience because I tend to be oblivious and need to be told things directly, and I need the gentleness because I couldn't deal with aggressive personality types.

I could never describe everything about an ideal relationship or partner, but that's probably the most important things for me.

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MidnightFrog

I want true companionship. Someone I can talk to openly, and have fun with. I'd like someone that is intelligent and can talk about a range of subjects. And most importantly, someone that accepts me - flaws and all.

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I've been thinking about this, and I have to say I don't really know what I want.

Sure, I'd like a hug every now and again, and some times there are jobs that are easier for two people to do than one (like fixing a drainpipe) but most of the time I'm quite content to sit around in the evening and read or fiddle around with some programming or hardware project. (I really want to learn electronics properly at some point beyond what I learned at school) I don't really need anyone else around.

Having said all of that, if I do meet someone suitable, I'm hardly likely to go out of way to get rid of them!

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I would like someone I can cuddle with and watch movies, play games, or just talk to. I don't really need to be doing anything at all to enjoy spending time with someone who I really like. I'm also perfectly happy spending most of my time at home, but I would like to go out sometimes- though never for social events- I want someone I can go on walks with at night, or to explore new cities, go on road trips, go to the theatre...someone I can travel the world with.

I'd want a completely sex-free relationship, though I don't think I'd mind kissing (never tried it). I also need someone who is rather calm, understanding, and accepting, as I tend to be a little odd. I can get very anxious at times, so I would like someone who can respect me when I need to be alone, but will also be there for me if I need that too.

I would like to get married, but kids are out of the question unless it's really important to my partner.

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belovedless

1 - Sex free.

2 - Stimulating conversation about our mutual interets.

3 - Let's go run around to coffeeshops, restaurants and do things!

4 - Moments alone.

5 - A person to share love for writing and other forms of expression with.

6 - Someone who isn't afraid to explore our weaknesses and strengths together.

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Skippy Squirrel

I don't know really. I mean, I have food, I have shelter, I have social contact via friends and internet, I know many people who are willing to help me and, if it comes to it, I can hire a professional, I have things I enjoy doing and, hopefully in a few years' time, I will have a job that I like and get a decent amount of money for. If I ever want a child, there is always adoption and I am fairly sure that you don't have to be in a relationship to adopt a child. Not to mention that I have no interest in sexual intercourse, or any physical contact for that matter, and the prospect of a lifelong companion doesn't really get me excited either since, despite mentioning that I have social contact, I strongly prefer alone time.

What else could I possibly want?

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I don't have a shopping list of requirements (other than no sex), I think you just need to click and sometimes you click with very different people.

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I'm pretty much aromantic, so I guess I could never have a proper romantic relationship. I tried and failed.

I'd like to have a partner in crime, though. Somebody as weird as me to simply hang out with, nothing more.

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Grace Barton

I'm an aromantic asexual, so I find myself unable to be drawn romantically to others. Yet I deeply desire affection.

If I was in a relationship with someone, all I would want is for them to provide me with affection (mainly cuddles) when I needed them. That's all I'd want. Everything else is just a plus. All I'd really need is a cuddle at the end of the day. :)

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Actually, a lot of people in here sound like someone I could enjoy hanging out with :).

- someone whose passionate about stuff: their work, their beliefs, their projects, the world...

- someone who shares at least some of my passions and interests

- another gamer would be really nice

- someone who thinks watching 8 hrs of scifi television ESPECIALLY when you have something that absolutely needs doing is a great idea

- someone who has similar energy levels with me

- someone whose a bit footloose; i.e. thinks it's a fan-tas-tic idea to move temporarily to another country just because

- likes to cuddle, kiss lightly, spoon and walk hand in hand

- likes to analyse and is emotionally expressive & straightforward

- someone who understands that light groping doesn't have to lead to sex :P

this would do it for me although i would add

-someone who loves knowing random things about everything

-someone who is patient and demanding at the same time

-loves to go exploring and find new things

-is artistically expressive in anyway shape or form

-knows how to laugh!!!

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Someone with intelligence, artistry and a lovely sense of humour who is also financially solvent. :) If they can play the guitar, forget all the previous criteria, lol.!

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  • 4 years later...

In a relationship I'd want to find someone who has a good personality and charater, a guy I would be able to bring home to my family and who I can have a family with in the future. he'll need to be someone I can love both platonically and romantically. Who I can trust, respect, admire and who'd look at me in much in the same way. I want to find that one person who I know is the only one for me.

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  • 2 months later...

Short version: Generous, loyal, loving relationship that lasts until death

Long version:

1) Sexless relationship with tolerance or indifference to sexual content

2) Having similar interests in anime, games, and other indoor or outdoor activities

3) Prefer not to drink, smoke, nor do drugs together or have similar values in not doing any of this but not judge others who do

4) Strong communication that works for us and never consider cheating on each other

5) Knowing how to do chores and cook. Preferably one of us has a stable job but we're both willing to work as a team or pitch in help. Also willing to learn new recipes together (Unfortunately, I don't have a job T_T but if I find someone I love who will still accept me for this flaw, I can cook and do chores to make up for it. Ideally we would both do streams or make a youtube channel for fun)

6) We try to be patient with each other depending on our needs. For example, I like to have my own space and don't really reach out to others unless I'm in the mood to hang out with others. When I'm emotionally hurt, I struggle with having friend support or not since I would feel like a burden and end up distancing myself even more

7) We're both okay with eating meat and veggies even if one of us might be a little picky. If we have allergies, we'll let each other know right away (I have some severe allergy to certain types of nuts and fruits)

8 ) Both of us are up for live concerts, amusement parks, movie theaters, planning travel trips to watching netflix, playing games, doing jigsaw puzzles, and other calm activities

9) In it for the long run or equivalence of a long term marriage until we decide how we want to be married without religion involved and we agree to not have kids

10) Not bothered if the other has or decides to get tattoos, piercings, or dyed hair

11) Completely comfortable with hugs and hand-holding (probably not be any kisses except maybe the cheek)

12) Teasing each other but not too mean about it to keep the relationship fun

I think that's as far I've got.

 

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