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Voluntary sexual abstinence (from masturbation)


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#1 zer0karma

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 06:24 PM

My first post here, greetings! I have a question for you all.

I am a 23yo male. I privately identify myself as asexual due to my lack of interest or attraction to either gender. I have hinted this to my parents to see what their reaction would be, and they are of the common opinion that such a thing is not possible and that I will develop these things eventually. The same thing goes for most friends I have talked about this with (with one exception whom I believe may be asexual himself!). For a long time I thought I was merely in denial or suppressing my sexuality. Thus I have had relationships and sex both males and females in attempts to determine my sexual orientation. Although I have been able to perform sexually, I have been unable to become aroused or even romantically attracted toward anyone.

I’m sure this all sounds very familiar to many of you. It doesn't bother me anymore to be asexual, and I have come to terms with it you might say. There are plenty of other things in life to occupy myself with and I’m really not worried that I may never find a sexual partner. With that said, on to my real question:

Although I am not attracted to people (or things for that matter) I still am possessed with a normal, healthy libido. In my circumstance the only form of sexual release for me is masturbation; yet I derive little pleasure from this act besides the usual “feels good to play with your junk”. I would like to stop masturbating entirely and I have managed for around a month at most before I finally caved in.

I have a few reasons for wishing to stop masturbation. My primary reason is that I find it inconsistent with my practice of yogic philosophy. (I’m not sure if I want to go into detail about that right now, but if you wish to know more, you are free to ask).
Other reasons include the simple matter that it feels rather pointless for me. It seems like a bother, something I just do because of the sexual tension that builds up from not masturbating. To a lesser extent it's annoying to feel like I have to take a shower and change clothes just to rid myself of the smell and that nasty feel of precum (aftercum?). Finally the lack of energy and “depressed” state of mind that is often experience after the act itself is undesirable to me.

Is there anyone here who has successfully managed to go without voluntary sexual release for a long period of time? Can you offer me any advice for consciously suppressing libido? Any tips that you have found to relieve the sexual tension associated with abstinence? I do perform yoga, meditation, japa, self-analysis and introspection on a daily basis, and these things have helped me immensely in more ways than just my attempted abstinence. Any help or opinions are certainly welcome and appreciated!
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#2 5_♦♣

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 08:49 PM

I have found that masturbation suppresses my libido. I mean, it's a way of scratching an itch. And the itch goes away after it has been scratched. Though, apparently it doesn't work for you. Well, you could always google 'ways to suppress libido'. Aside from that, I have no ideas.

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#3 Significant Form

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 09:22 PM

I've found that simply masturbating very infrequently works for me. I masturbate between twice a week (only happened a couple of times) and once a month. Doing so allows me to effectively ignore my libido the rest of the time. However, I don't practice yogic philosophy, so I don't know whether this sort of compromise would work as well for you.

#4 zer0karma

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 09:37 PM

I've found that simply masturbating very infrequently works for me. I masturbate between twice a week (only happened a couple of times) and once a month. Doing so allows me to effectively ignore my libido the rest of the time. However, I don't practice yogic philosophy, so I don't know whether this sort of compromise would work as well for you.


I've come to the same conclusion thus far, but my eventual goal is to eliminate the need entirely. I'm certain it's possible. It's just very hard to find any information from anyone who has successfully managed to do it.
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#5 ithaca

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 10:17 PM

Have you tried talking to a doctor? if your libido gives you distress I suggest talking to someone professional.

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#6 zer0karma

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 10:37 PM

Have you tried talking to a doctor? if your libido gives you distress I suggest talking to someone professional.



I think distress would be too strong a term. Like I mentioned in the original post, I consider my libido to be perfectly normal, especially for my age; I imagine a doctor would tell me the same thing. As for medications, well I don't want to come off as a know-it-all (because I don't). But I am a nurse by profession and a do pretty much know what sort of drugs are available for decreasing libido, and all of the ones I can think of right know would be (in my opinion) far worse than having to masturbate on occasion.

It really isn't so much of a problem for me, as it is just something I would like to be able to do without (if that makes any sense).
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#7 inter\m/ent

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 11:22 PM

There are herbs, the names of which I can't recall, search the AVEN forums for names. Or lowering your testosterone levels somehow?

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#8 zer0karma

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Posted 28 April 2012 - 12:48 AM

There are herbs, the names of which I can't recall, search the AVEN forums for names. Or lowering your testosterone levels somehow?


Thanks, I'm reading those now!
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#9 Spastic_Morteo

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Posted 28 April 2012 - 07:50 AM

As males our bodies will continue to make sperm and seminal fluid despite our personal philosophies. I don't know what yogic beliefs have to say about the matter but its easier to view this as just something you do. You could make a little ritual out of it, like doing it before showering and cooking breakfast for example. That said, cold showers are horrible for decreasing libido and the opposite occurs. Cold induces testosterone production which can lead to more urges (if my advice isn't compatible with you).

#10 Kolikeos

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Posted 28 April 2012 - 08:12 AM

while I have no advice whatsoever, I just wanted to say that this subject interests me greatly, since I feel very much as you do.

#11 zer0karma

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Posted 28 April 2012 - 10:19 AM

As males our bodies will continue to make sperm and seminal fluid despite our personal philosophies. I don't know what yogic beliefs have to say about the matter but its easier to view this as just something you do. You could make a little ritual out of it, like doing it before showering and cooking breakfast for example. That said, cold showers are horrible for decreasing libido and the opposite occurs. Cold induces testosterone production which can lead to more urges (if my advice isn't compatible with you).



I think I must have read some of the same literature as you. I'm not a very dogmatic person by nature. I do tend to take most everything I read and hear and contemplate it deeply before I take it to be fact (and even then I'm more of a skeptic). I agree with you about males continuing to produce sperm and seminal fluid despite what certain yogis may have believed. My medical education has further confirmed this to be true.

I did not know the thing about cold increasing testosterone production, however that does explain why that particular practice of cold showers has never seemed to work for me.

My reasons for wishing to stop masturbation have more to do with wishing to abstain from that particular form of self-gratification. This may seem a bit absurd to some people I realize, however when you also take into account that I am already asexual and that the pleasure derived from the act is completely auto-erotic and therefore devoid of any fantasy it may seem a somewhat more understandable step.

I also would like to believe (although I have nothing but very ancient literature to back me up on this) that sexual energy when properly harnessed and channeled might then be converted as it were for spiritual purposes. Thus the idea of using drugs or herbs is something that I would look into with the greatest caution.

For those who are interested in the use of herbs; I have discovered two in particular that may be beneficial in lowering testosterone levels (and therefore libido) that I have discovered through inter\m/ent's excellent advice to search the AVEN forums and subsequent research by search engine. The two in question being Licorice and Chasteberry.

Here are the Wikipedia links:
Licorice
Chasteberry

Anyone considering these should of course do plenty of research before using them. Stating the obvious here, but herbs are often just as powerful as any pharmaceutical medication and Licorice in particular has many widely studied contraindications associated with it's use including liver damage.
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#12 Theophilus

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Posted 30 April 2012 - 02:44 PM

I didn't know that about yogic philosophy. I'm Catholic, and my faith also forbids masturbation. It took me a year after I converted to quit. Some say it's even harder to quit than smoking, which is harder to quit than heroin. I never had to quit those others, so I don't know... Anyway, the way I finally managed to quit was to grow in faith and get closer to God through my prayer life. In particular, contemplative prayer really helped. I don't know what the yogic equivalent is, or if any of this is even helpful to a non-Christian, but I couldn't have done it without God’s help.
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#13 zer0karma

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Posted 30 April 2012 - 04:31 PM

I didn't know that about yogic philosophy. I'm Catholic, and my faith also forbids masturbation. It took me a year after I converted to quit. Some say it's even harder to quit than smoking, which is harder to quit than heroin. I never had to quit those others, so I don't know... Anyway, the way I finally managed to quit was to grow in faith and get closer to God through my prayer life. In particular, contemplative prayer really helped. I don't know what the yogic equivalent is, or if any of this is even helpful to a non-Christian, but I couldn't have done it without God’s help.



Thank you for posting. It is wonderful to hear from someone who has had both experience and success in this matter! I am a very spiritual person by nature and although I do not practice any specific religion I do believe that my equivalent faith in God has been a very essential motivation for me in this as well. I think the yogic equivalent of contemplative prayer would probably be contemplative meditation, however one of the most outstanding goals in yoga is to reach a constant state of this. So in a way, one could broadly define the entire practice of yoga as a form of prayer.
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#14 Goldberry

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Posted 02 May 2012 - 10:25 PM

I'm very yogic in my ways, but also a non-libidoist female. Masturbation, for me, is nothing to "quit," because I have no urge to begin with. (But apparently there are women who have a tough time quitting as well).

I personally don't think that it's necessary to abstain from masturbation on either moral or yogic grounds, but that's up to each individual. I'm vaguely Catholic by birth but I was barely raised by it and now my slant toward my spirituality is completely non-denominational, and I'm sure it will stay that way. Based on societal attitudes and later biological learnings I didn't see anything wrong with masturbation...in fact, there's biological benefits, and I don't buy into the wasted seed thing. But I do understand how distracting having a libido can be--I used to have one. Don't ask how I got rid of it, because I didn't. It got rid of me.

I like to talk about yogic matters, maybe partly because it's not too often that I find someone to talk about them with. I sometimes wonder if there are any possible pranic techniques that can either induce a libido (in my case) or reduce libido (in other people's cases) but I have no information on that. It would make sense in the idea of libido being another facet of the human energy body as a whole...but in terms of physical techniques someone once mentioned on AVEN prostate massage as a method which results in such intense orgasms that one will not have the desire to masturbate for a long time.

P.S.
I had an interesting thought about the article that I linked to--in it she writes that abstaining from masturbation caused her crankiness because that was her usual fix of endorphins. I don't even masturbate to begin with, but I realize that my source of endorphins is daily meditation--therefore by meditation that already puts us in a useful advantage...

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#15 Wisdom

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 08:29 PM

The less you masturbate, the less sexual drive you will finaly end having.

If you are asexual, no masturbating will not be a major problem or an impossible thing, I guess, if you are sexual, some men say that they cannot be more than one week without masturbating (if they have no access to sex)

#16 Elis

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 10:37 PM


There are herbs, the names of which I can't recall, search the AVEN forums for names. Or lowering your testosterone levels somehow?


Thanks, I'm reading those now!


I know Soy decreases the testosterones ^-^

#17 zer0karma

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 06:30 AM

I'm very yogic in my ways, but also a non-libidoist female. Masturbation, for me, is nothing to "quit," because I have no urge to begin with. (But apparently there are women who have a tough time quitting as well).

I personally don't think that it's necessary to abstain from masturbation on either moral or yogic grounds, but that's up to each individual. I'm vaguely Catholic by birth but I was barely raised by it and now my slant toward my spirituality is completely non-denominational, and I'm sure it will stay that way. Based on societal attitudes and later biological learnings I didn't see anything wrong with masturbation...in fact, there's biological benefits, and I don't buy into the wasted seed thing. But I do understand how distracting having a libido can be--I used to have one. Don't ask how I got rid of it, because I didn't. It got rid of me.

I like to talk about yogic matters, maybe partly because it's not too often that I find someone to talk about them with. I sometimes wonder if there are any possible pranic techniques that can either induce a libido (in my case) or reduce libido (in other people's cases) but I have no information on that. It would make sense in the idea of libido being another facet of the human energy body as a whole...but in terms of physical techniques someone once mentioned on AVEN prostate massage as a method which results in such intense orgasms that one will not have the desire to masturbate for a long time.

P.S.
I had an interesting thought about the article that I linked to--in it she writes that abstaining from masturbation caused her crankiness because that was her usual fix of endorphins. I don't even masturbate to begin with, but I realize that my source of endorphins is daily meditation--therefore by meditation that already puts us in a useful advantage...



That is a very interesting observation about the endorphins, there is no denying that meditation and other yogic practices produce an effect on various chemicals in the brain. A 2010 study study found a link between yoga and the production of GABA, the primary inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain which also has mood enhancing and anxiolytic properties. Yoga and GABA production

Please don't misunderstand, I find nothing morally or ethically wrong about masturbation. My interest stems primarily from the fact that it is, like you say a distraction, as well as my previously mentioned reasons. I wonder why it is that your libido disappeared completely like that. I have heard that some females can be anorgasmic, yet I don't think I have ever heard of anyone who's libido disappeared entirely on it's own (although certain factors can certainly have a inhibitory effect such as age, menopause, and certain disease processes) I think it is quite an amazing thing in itself.

If there are pranic techniques that could be utilized to this purpose, I wonder which subcategory it would fall under, I'm fairly certain that it would be Vyāna because I can't see how any of the others would relate to that in particular.
I'm sure that I have heard of certain (and probably more recent) asanas that are associated with sexual control. Even more so I know that working with the Svadhisthana chakra can help very much in this respect also.

I know Soy decreases the testosterones ^-^


I've heard this as well, and like many of the other substances that reduce testosterone, it seems to work by the mechanism of increasing estrogen levels.

This brings me to another point I wish to address: diet. Certain foods certainly have influencing factors on libido (as well as many other things). In Ayurveda this is well known and studied, all foods are believed to contain a different proportion of three qualities or Gunas which is why a predominantly sattvic diet is recommended for spiritual aspirants in India. Naturally there is little scientific evidence to back this theory up in it's entirety, yet some of it is mere common sense (alcohol is destructive, hot spices are stimulating, and fresh fruits are wholesome) while on the other hand some of it has been proven to be completely wrong (onions and garlic are stated to be harmful to the immune system when in fact they have an immunostimulating effect). That last example is very relevant to our subject however because garlic in particular has held a very strong reputation as an aphrodisiac since ancient times.
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#18 ptownkev

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 11:53 AM

Great discussion. I too have been working on eliminating masturbation from my life. I have no religious or ethical opposition to masturbation, I just don't enjoy it. At times in my life, I have been compulsive about masturbation and it has felt like an addiction--out of control. At other times, I've done it out of habit or boredom. Either way, I don't really enjoy the act or the orgasm. In particular I dislike the emotional let down that I experience after orgasm. And the older I get the less pleasant masturbation has become and more effort it takes to achieve orgasm. Finally I wondered why I do it any more and decided to stop. I'm not 100% adherent but I don't beat myself up if I occasionally ejaculate but for the most part I'm non-masturbatory. It feels a lot better to not be ruled by the need to self-stimulate. Ultimately I would like to get to a place where I know that masturbation and orgasm are a thing of the past. It's very hard to find men who have any understanding of this or any tolerance for hearing about men abstaining from masturbation. Great to find the forum. Very interested in talking to others who want to live without masturbation.

#19 Kolikeos

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 08:52 AM

I've heard that people have more success in quitting smoking when they attempt to quit together.
So I suggest we do something similar. We'll post here that we intend to quit masturbating for one week. Just one week for now. From the moment we post to the same time next week.
Next week we will post whether we were successful or not. We won't post about our failures during the week because this might affect others' chances of success.
I think the fact that other supportive people are in on our decision will have an effect on our chances of success. Even if they are just random internet people.

So here goes. I'm quitting til this time next week.
I hope you guys are being cooperative.

#20 ptownkev

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 01:09 PM

I've heard that people have more success in quitting smoking when they attempt to quit together.
So I suggest we do something similar. We'll post here that we intend to quit masturbating for one week. Just one week for now. From the moment we post to the same time next week.
Next week we will post whether we were successful or not. We won't post about our failures during the week because this might affect others' chances of success.
I think the fact that other supportive people are in on our decision will have an effect on our chances of success. Even if they are just random internet people.

So here goes. I'm quitting til this time next week.
I hope you guys are being cooperative.


i think the support and accountability of doing this together is a great idea. count me in. i will be non masturbatory this week as well. feel free to contact me directly during the week if you want to talk about it as well.

#21 zer0karma

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 05:20 PM


I've heard that people have more success in quitting smoking when they attempt to quit together.
So I suggest we do something similar. We'll post here that we intend to quit masturbating for one week. Just one week for now. From the moment we post to the same time next week.
Next week we will post whether we were successful or not. We won't post about our failures during the week because this might affect others' chances of success.
I think the fact that other supportive people are in on our decision will have an effect on our chances of success. Even if they are just random internet people.

So here goes. I'm quitting til this time next week.
I hope you guys are being cooperative.


i think the support and accountability of doing this together is a great idea. count me in. i will be non masturbatory this week as well. feel free to contact me directly during the week if you want to talk about it as well.


Sounds like an excellent idea. I don't remember the exact day that I quit, but I think I am just starting week 2. Lets do this!
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#22 ptownkev

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Posted 09 May 2012 - 01:47 AM



I've heard that people have more success in quitting smoking when they attempt to quit together.
So I suggest we do something similar. We'll post here that we intend to quit masturbating for one week. Just one week for now. From the moment we post to the same time next week.
Next week we will post whether we were successful or not. We won't post about our failures during the week because this might affect others' chances of success.
I think the fact that other supportive people are in on our decision will have an effect on our chances of success. Even if they are just random internet people.

So here goes. I'm quitting til this time next week.
I hope you guys are being cooperative.


i think the support and accountability of doing this together is a great idea. count me in. i will be non masturbatory this week as well. feel free to contact me directly during the week if you want to talk about it as well.


Sounds like an excellent idea. I don't remember the exact day that I quit, but I think I am just starting week 2. Lets do this!


Staying abstinent here. Who else is?

#23 Touchofinsight

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Posted 09 May 2012 - 09:13 AM

An interesting subject, I too have thought about this, its mostly habit, but yes its quite bothersome. I don't have any moral or spiritual bias against masturbation I feel the same way many of you do, its just troublesome. I enjoyed it immensely in my early teens but as time has come on the pleasure I receive from it has all but diminished. While I don't feel the depression or downward feeling that is common after ejaculating I get very little pleasure from this release. It is more of well I guess that is over with feeling. A very small fragment of a second of sensation followed by apathy. I support you in your quest to relinquish your habit of masturbating and I think I'll give it another go my self. I find that is very common in the morning to have an erection and go straight to the bathroom to empty my bladder often times that will help in the early morning regard. Other times I just focus on something else, in time it will pass, it always does. I just indulge my self in a hobby for a short period of time and before I know it the libido is no longer present in my consciousness.

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#24 Kolikeos

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Posted 12 May 2012 - 09:22 AM

Success!
I'll wait to hear how you guys fared and then we can do it again, this time maybe for a longer period of time.

#25 ptownkev

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Posted 12 May 2012 - 04:13 PM

Congrats, Kolikeos! Had a good non-masturbatory week here too. Feels good knowing that other men are abstaining as well. I don't plan to stop abstaining, hope you're not either. Let's all keep in touch and encourage each other on our quest to be free from masturbation.

#26 zer0karma

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Posted 13 May 2012 - 03:42 AM

Kolikeos and ptownkev, congratulations to both of you. :cake:

I'm currently in the middle of my third week of non-masturbation. So far I have not felt any tension or other forms of stress and therefore I will be continuing. I have felt a slight increase of energy and ability to focus which may or may not be related.

A few things that I find that have helped me (as a male, though all but one are applicable to females as well) include:

Maintaining absolute cleanliness of the genitals and undergarments. I think this may have to do with the fact that when I am able to smell that area of myself, my thoughts tend to be lead in that direction.

Not drinking much fluid close to bedtime. This helps decrease the occurrence of “morning wood”.

If I do feel an “urge” to masturbate, I immediately distract myself with something fairly physically or mentally stimulating.

I have also changed my diet slightly recently (though entirely unrelated to this) to include more fresh fruits and vegetables and to exclude more processed food and meats. I can’t truthfully comment whether this has helped me keep non-masturbatory or not, but I feel as though it has.
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#27 ptownkev

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Posted 13 May 2012 - 03:48 AM

Great job zer0karma. I would definitely encourage other men to try giving up masturbation, even temporarily.

#28 Kolikeos

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Posted 13 May 2012 - 07:21 PM

Thanks people, and congrats back to you.
So now I'm setting myself the goal of two weeks. See you in two weeks then :)

#29 Paulie67

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Posted 14 May 2012 - 02:35 AM

I have trying to quit masturbation for years without success. I hated masturbation but the compulsion to do it was too strong and I could not contain the urge. I finally made a decision that made giving up easy.... I bought a chastity device, now masturbation is a non issue and I have so much more free time, creativity, energy. It has been 7 months since I put the device on and have no regrets, I was addicted to masturbation and once an addict the weakness will always be there, so I choose there wear the device permanently. The benefits of the chastity device is that it requires no will power and therefore the energy and focus that will power requires can be used elsewhere. I have found the benefits to total sexual abstinence so great I started a forum dedicated to non religious total sexual abstinence for sexuals and asexuals alike. It is very new and I am the only member so far. I don'[t imagine the forum will ever have huge numbers of members because most people won't choose that lifestyle. Personally I never want to masturbate ever again, I am Asexual btw.

Congrats to the people who have been able to abstain, I hope you continue to have success and obtain freedom from this loathsome habit.

If your interested the forum is located at http://www.network54.com/Forum/736261/
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#30 zer0karma

zer0karma

    Amoeba

  • AVEN Members
  • 67 posts
  • Location:Eugene, Oregon
  • A/Sexuality:Brahmacharya Aspirant

Posted 14 May 2012 - 05:10 AM

I have trying to quit masturbation for years without success. I hated masturbation but the compulsion to do it was too strong and I could not contain the urge. I finally made a decision that made giving up easy.... I bought a chastity device, now masturbation is a non issue and I have so much more free time, creativity, energy. It has been 7 months since I put the device on and have no regrets, I was addicted to masturbation and once an addict the weakness will always be there, so I choose there wear the device permanently. The benefits of the chastity device is that it requires no will power and therefore the energy and focus that will power requires can be used elsewhere. I have found the benefits to total sexual abstinence so great I started a forum dedicated to non religious total sexual abstinence for sexuals and asexuals alike. It is very new and I am the only member so far. I don'[t imagine the forum will ever have huge numbers of members because most people won't choose that lifestyle. Personally I never want to masturbate ever again, I am Asexual btw.

Congrats to the people who have been able to abstain, I hope you continue to have success and obtain freedom from this loathsome habit.

If your interested the forum is located at http://www.network54.com/Forum/736261/



Welcome to AVEN! :cake: :cake:
Very nice idea to create a forum. I like the message it carries too which seems very welcoming to anyone. Although I do pursue complete celibacy at least partly for spiritual purposes, I would be happy to join your forum if you would have me.

Congratulations on achieving 7 months by the way, that is no small accomplishment I'm sure. You are also the first person I have ever known to use a chastity belt on a regular basis. I have always been curious as to whether the device effects cleanliness at all.
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