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Sapiosexual


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#1 consultingalias

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 08:17 AM

I recently heard about Sapiosexuality. Which, for any who don't know and can't be bothered Googling, means that one finds intelligence and wit the most sexually arousing feature in a potential partner. Now, that kind of sounds familiar, minus the sexual part. So my question is this, is there such a thing as Sapioromantic? A Sapioromantic Asexual?

What I mean is this, I have no desire to sleep with anyone, in fact, I am a bit uncomfortable being touched, even just an affectionate shoulder pat. But I do find intelligence an extremely attractive quality. I only ever feel this attraction (kind of a desire to be around them) for extremely intelligent people. I suppose it's yet more labelling, but I like being able to define everything.

I previously considered myself to be Aromantic, because I don't believe in love as an emotional state (I see it as purely chemical) and the idea of having a partner who wanted to do all that smoochy stuff filled me with dread. But I find I'm not adverse to the idea of something along the lines of Sheldon and Amy's relationship in Big Bang Theory. That actually seems kind of nice.

Thank you for hearing my ramble and I appreciate your thoughts.
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#2 Skullery Maid

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 08:20 AM

Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.
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#3 Zjezdzaj

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 08:38 AM

I really have to thank you because I've been looking for this definition for a while but have not been able to find it. So thank you for bringing it up.
I could define myself as a sapioromatic asexual, I always fall for the professor types. But I don't fall for them in a romantic sense but rather a platonic one, I want to lean against them, listen to them and such but I am a little averse to touch.
Maybe I'm actually an Aromantic Sapio-attracted Asexual... or something weird like that.

That's right up my alley of Bonkers!

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#4 Philip027

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:01 AM

So my question is this, is there such a thing as Sapioromantic? A Sapioromantic Asexual?


You found one. Hi!

/waves
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#5 Bluszcz

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 12:55 PM

"sapio-" as a preference sounds reasonable...

But yeah, I see the term "sapiosexual" quite often, especially on e.g. tumblr :unsure:

Edited by Bluszcz, 19 April 2012 - 10:05 PM.

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#6 Amara

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

So my question is this, is there such a thing as Sapioromantic? A Sapioromantic Asexual?


*raises hand* Me! :D All the men and women(fictional or otherwise) I've found attractive have been very intelligent.
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#7 Verust

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:34 PM

I...suppose I would be? Idk. I kinda have a major pet peeve for believing what you are told and then being stubborn about said thing despite knowing nothing about it. I suppose it can be generalized to people, to some degree, choosing to not think when presented with the opportunity and a valid reason. These don't really imply someone is unintelligent though.

#8 Moonchaser

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:55 PM

..

#9 Oxalis

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 03:48 PM

I told my boyfriend a couple times I was leaving him for Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. XD
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#10 Mr. Shuttershy

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 03:58 PM

Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.


I suppose its hard to feel a minority if your personal majority is majorly minorities.

#11 Mismatched

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 05:49 PM

Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.


Yeah, to try to make an orientation out of a simple preference is kind of annoying. Because people try to make simple preferences into orientations, no wonder some people might just boil down asexuality to a preference as well.

#12 Kitsunay

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 06:44 PM

In essence, yes, I find intelligence appealing. I am asexual, and nearly assuredly aromantic, but I do enjoy the presence of people who are intelligent, whether logically or creatively; they make great conversation. Everyone else is, well, a person to me, and I find the average person's conversation quite boring sometimes, if only due to predictability, and lack of opinions and musings.
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Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:13 PM

Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.

Pretty much this.

All these new labels that have been turning up lately (allosexual, pokkisexual...), I just don't get them.
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#14 Philip027

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:46 PM

I'm of the belief that your orientation IS a preference. Everyone's got a different one, none is more right/wrong than another, and it's subject to change based on outside influences (even if it is unlikely)

Also, I don't think this topic was trying to suggest "sapiosexual" as an orientation. Orientations as far as I know refer strictly to sex/gender (or lack thereof, in the case of asexuals). This is just a shorthanded "scientific" term to elaborate in a single word on what one might find sexually/romantically attractive.
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#15 Moonchaser

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:55 PM

Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.

I think you're right there, about this being a preference, not an orientation.

We can get too attached to labels and categories.

#16 Midnight Lady

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:57 PM

Also, I don't think this topic was trying to suggest "sapiosexual" as an orientation. Orientations as far as I know refer strictly to sex/gender (or lack thereof, in the case of asexuals). This is just a shorthanded "scientific" term to elaborate in a single word on what one might find sexually/romantically attractive.


If it was about preferences, it would rather be called "sapiophilia"... :)

#17 Philip027

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:02 PM

If it was about preferences, it would rather be called "sapiophilia"...


I find the sexual/romantic terms more useful personally, because they more precisely describe the degree of the attraction.

I sure as hell don't want anyone calling me a sapiophile.
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#18 Pandora's Fox

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:12 PM

I'm probably sapioromantic. If so it could be why I've not been romantically attracted to anyone yet.

#19 Cakey

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:32 PM

Wit and intelligence is rather attractive, coupled with a nice nature...... My ex is like that, even now, when we meet up, I still love to hear them talk... :)

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#20 Ravako

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:38 PM

Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.

Yeah, basically I agree with this. Considering you don't have sex with someone's intelligence, you know.
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#21 starrynight

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:50 PM

I agree that it's a preference, not an orientation. If it's an orientation, do we also need labels for those who are attracted by talent, humor, status, and numerous other factors? :P

But yeah, I'm very sapio-attracted. I like smart and opinionated people who can have deep conversations with me. Once I find I click very well with someone on an intellectual level, I'll suddenly feel much closer to them emotionally.
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#22 starrynight

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:55 PM



Also, I don't think this topic was trying to suggest "sapiosexual" as an orientation. Orientations as far as I know refer strictly to sex/gender (or lack thereof, in the case of asexuals). This is just a shorthanded "scientific" term to elaborate in a single word on what one might find sexually/romantically attractive.


If it was about preferences, it would rather be called "sapiophilia"... :)

The word "sapiophile" also exists: http://www.urbandict...term=Sapiophile :lol:

To say "I love you" one must know first how to say the "I." 
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... one of the most evil consequences of mysticism—in terms of human suffering—is the belief that love is a matter of “the heart,” not the mind, that love is an emotion independent of reason, that love is blind and impervious to the power of philosophy. Love is the expression of philosophy—of a subconscious philosophical sum—and, perhaps, no other aspect of human existence needs the conscious power of philosophy quite so desperately.
 - Ayn Rand, The Romantic Manifesto

 


#23 Kitty Spoon Train

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 11:51 PM

Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.


I'm with SkulleryMaid on this...

I was actually just thinking the other day how I find intelligence attractive, and how strong intellectual compatibility is a non-negotiable point for me for a potential partner. But yes, I think this is a preference, not an orientation. I was actually discussing this with a friend last year - she said she has other intellectual male friends, but unlike me they don't look for intellectual compatibility much in potential partners - they married women who were essentially completely unintellectual, but were sweet traditional types who just wanted children and to be good home makers. So the intellectual compatibility point just isn't important in their relationships. The other complementary points carry them instead.

So yeah, not an orientation. I could be just the same as I am (demisexual), but if I wasn't intellectual myself I might find something else attractive instead of intellectual compatibility.

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#24 Philip027

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 12:06 AM

The word "sapiophile" also exists:


I'm sure that it does, but that doesn't change the fact I don't want to be referred to as one >_>

The -phile suffix carries a strong sexual context, and that is not at all what I experience.
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#25 . .

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 07:18 AM

Which is weird because 'philia' means love, not sex.

Anyway, I thought sapiosexuals were going to be people who want to do it with slightly more intelligent apes--it just had the whole evolution slant to my ear... Homosapiens, homoerectus... Yeah I know i didn't think it through.

#26 Philip027

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 08:09 AM

Which is weird because 'philia' means love, not sex.


And gay means happy, but we all know where the school kids ran with that one...
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#27 Butts Galore

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 12:32 AM

I'm not sure that's an orientation, but that does describe me, yeah.

#28 Iosa

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:00 AM

I appreciate that sapiosexual or sapioromantic is not an orientation. However, I think it's a valid label for those to whom it applies. It rings deeply with me, because sapiosexuality is the only sexuality I ever experience.
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#29 Elllie

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:38 AM

Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.


This.
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#30 1helluvabutlr

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Posted 22 April 2012 - 05:16 AM

I find intelligence an attractive quality in choosing the people I surround my life around but I prefer them not to be treating me like a child just because they are smarter than me in some areas. Yet this has nothing to do with romantic attraction much less sexual
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