40 somethings?

[Jay-Jay]

I'm 42 (female) and have never been interested in sexual relationships.

I had boyfriend at college but it ended when he wanted to take relationship further and at uni I tried again due to peer pressure and friends telling me this guy really liked me.. I went further this time but didn't enjoy it AT ALL!.. I've never been in a relationship since (I was 24 at time of relationship at uni)

People thought must be something wrong with me and a doctor suggested I may have Aspergers syndrome as I didn't like physical contact (i guess no-one had heard of Asexuality in the 1990's!) Though I did have physical contact with friends and initiate hugs and had no problems with my friends baby and kids over the years wanting cuddles. I just never enjoyed kissing or sex!

Another doctor many years later said he though I had been misdiagnosed and in his opinion I wasn't on the autistic spectrum at all just maybe had very low libido resulting in no interest in 'sexual relations'

As I developed a neurological condition in my early 30's which resulted in severe disability I no longer feel pressured to be in a sexual relationship.

I just wondered if there was any others on here in their 40's who ever got told, they maybe on the autistic spectrum just cos they didn't enjoy intimate physical contact with other adults?

[Castor]

yes in here there are people 40+ and even 50+, sorry not me 12 years to go

[Cousin It]

Yes, to put it succinctly, and yes.

I'm 41, androgynous/female, and a complete non-touchy-feely type. Also totally and completely non-romantic.

Worried by my isolationist tendencies, my lack of hugging capabilities, and my intense desire not to be a nice girly teenager, my mother tried taking me to a shrink* when I was 14. Mild autism and schizoid personality disorder were bandied about a bit (wikipedia has a good article on it, if you don't know what I'm on about).

But, in the end, common sense prevailed. There was nothing wrong with me really, aside from the fact that I was obviously 'different' and that's always hard when you're 14. But, greatly to the credit of my family, nature was allowed to take its course with me, and I with it. I was always pretty headstrong about my lack of interest, anyhow, so I've never felt under any real pressure to conform. And I never have.

Anyhow, I thought I'd say 'hi' as I've not come across too many posts from 40s-ish types. We'd be able to share cringy nostalgia for the 80s ... but is that a good thing?

*'shrink': this is a technical term, used with respect and admiration for a fine profession that I very nearly joined myself.