Advantages and disadvantages of being asexual

[trumpetchick]

Knowing that if I get into a relationship someday, especially with a sexual, compromise is going to be difficult.

[CookieMonster!]

The innuendos and sex jokes.

Was I supposed to laugh? Was it funny? Was it gross? I think it was gross, but everyone laughed. Was the joke good because it was a pun or because it's about sex? Was it actually a good joke? Am I allowed to look grossed out? If people see me looking away because I'm uncomfortable and/or bored, what will they think? Am I supposed to laugh at this? What's going through everyone else's mind? Is the person making these jokes actually funny, or is everyone else a little uncomfortable too? Why does no one else think this is boring and pointless? This is so boring. When will the conversation go back to normal stuff? I don't get that one... I got that one, but somebody else didn't. Does that mean I'm not the only asexual here? Or am I just better at knowing what people are talking about? ... I just laughed at a joke because I thought it was about something innocent, and also just because I laugh a lot. Then someone said, "Oh, she got it, she has a dirty mind..." But nope. No I don't. O.o I didn't even know what you were talking about.

Also, watching this kind of stuff on tv with other people. For example, I love fiction and fantasy of all kinds. Game of Thrones is awesome... except for the pornography bits. Watching it (or talking about stuff like it) while I'm with other people is just painfully akward.

For me, at least. I have no idea how it is for other people.

[Squick]

There are several things about being me that are hard, I'd say. I wouldn't exactly say asexuality is one of them, except that it limits the potential relationships I could have (as most people would take issue with it). However, all of that is wholly academic, as I'd have to have friends and socialize for that to matter. As it stands, my sexuality exists in a vacuum.

[paradoxinabox]

Finding myself in conversations or situations where it's assumed that everyone is sexual. I don't have the energy or desire to explain my disinterest in sex so I just have to grin and bear it.

[Naiad Daphne]

The hardest thing for me about being asexual is being an asexual in a sexual society. I can deal with sex on television, in ads and in music, I can even have frank discussions about sex and sexual things with friends. But when it comes to things like talking about personal sexual experiences and I have nothing to contribute, it can be really hard. For example, I always try my hardest to get out of playing things like "Never Have I Ever" because I know I can't contribute like others, and it's always with people I don't know, or who don't know about my asexuality and so I can either choose between being the outsider, or being looked on as that naive, virgin whose never even been kissed. And I'm not ashamed of my asexuality, or my lack of experience, but society has decided that my choices mean that I am less in a way in the eyes of my peers.

It could be my age and my age group, but yeah I find those kind of situations the worst.

[Qutenkuddly]

The threads 'Hardes Thing About Being Asexual?' and 'Advantages of asexuality' has been merged with this one.

Qutenkuddly,

Asexual Musings and Rantings Moderator

[RosettaAce]

Lately the hardest part for me has been the questions. "Do you masturbate?"

"If you do, how can you say you're not interested in sex?"

"But you've said certain actors are attractive, how can you say you're asexual?"

"Does being asexual mean a lot to you? What if it changes?"

"Why do you have to wear that ring? Do you have to advertize?"

"Are you sure you're not just afraid?"

I swear, if this happens anymore I'm going to say that my official Ace publicist will answer any future questions - and then I'll watch as they try and figure out if there is such a thing!

[TurtleRage]

As much as some people might disagree, I actually think being asexual has many advantages. One major advantage for me is freedom. A lot of people chase sex. They let it control them. I feel very fortunate to not have that worry of saving myself until I meet the right person, because as far as I'm concerned, I just don't care. I love not caring. To me, that is the ultimate freedom.

[98slbrookes98]

Advantages of being an asexual:

1. Don't have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases

2. Don't have to worry about contraception

3. Don't have to worry about pregnancy unless you choose to surrogate for someone.

4. Don't have to worry about sexual attraction/urges

5. Can make certain compromises that sexuals may find more difficult to make as the difference between romance and friendship is very slight for asexuals (a romantic relationship being a deep friendship with the romantic stuff added)

I'll elaborate on this last one.

Supposing an asexual doesn't want the responsibility of being in a romantic relationship or can't be in a romantic relationship for some reason. Then he/she can make certain compromises;

1. Give sister/brother/cousin jewellery to family or friendship jewellery to a best friend instead of giving romantic jewellery to a lover.

2. Give a family member their favourite chocolate instead of giving a lover romantic chocolate

3. Hand make birthday/Mothers Day/Fathers Day cards to make up for not being able to give an anniversary card to a partner

4. Pay to design a family calendar with family photos rather than a calendar with pictures of yourself and your partner

5. When eating at a friend/relative's house take non romantic flowers i.e. daffodils/sunflowers or whatever instead of giving a lover red roses.

I suppose a sexual could do all those things too but a sexual might not think of that because for sexuals sex is an important part of the relationship. Because most asexuals (like myself) don't want sex the difference is very slight between friendship and romantic relationship - it takes only the romantic stuff.

[98slbrookes98]

As much as some people might disagree, I actually think being asexual has many advantages. One major advantage for me is freedom. A lot of people chase sex. They let it control them. I feel very fortunate to not have that worry of saving myself until I meet the right person, because as far as I'm concerned, I just don't care. I love not caring. To me, that is the ultimate freedom.

I agree about the freedom - having been single all my life I love my freedom. Though asexual, the looming 9-5 work in the weekdays is fast putting me off a romantic relationship through dislike of losing what little freedom I'll have left.