Jump to content


Photo

Advantages and disadvantages of being asexual


  • Please log in to reply
464 replies to this topic

#1 Face

Face

    The Atrix Has You

  • AVEN Members
  • 1,157 posts
  • Location:London
  • A/Sexuality:Heteromantic hyposexual / Cuddle Whore

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:01 PM

I'm sure this subject has come up before but we need more positive threads so it deserves to make a come back and I don't know what to search for.

While waiting for a train and looking at the adverts selling basically sexual aspiration I had time to think my life is actually not too bad right now. I thought how much that was down to being asexual.

Some reasons I came up with:

- Not being affected by all the advertising blatantly targeting people's sexual desires to sell everything from perfume to stock trading courses (no really)!
- Knowing all my asexual friends aren't going to all get married, have children and drift apart from each other
- All the freedom of being single generally
- None of the distraction of the opposite sex at work
- The huge amount of money saved on meals, gifts, following fashion and all the alcohol, entrance fees and taxis of the mating/dating scene

Who can come up with more? :)
Posted ImagePosted Image

#2 LonelyWind

LonelyWind

    Mega Mitosis

  • Banned
  • 279 posts

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:05 PM

- Not being affected by all the advertising blatantly targeting people's sexual desires to sell everything from perfume to stock trading courses (no really)!
- Knowing all my asexual friends aren't going to all get married, have children and drift apart from each other
- All the freedom of being single generally
- None of the distraction of the opposite sex at work
- The huge amount of money saved on meals, gifts, following fashion and all the alcohol, entrance fees and taxis of the mating/dating scene


I doubt I'm truly asexual, yet all of these apply to me.

Keep looking. I don't really think there are many.
Dormiens, semper laetissimus sum.

#3 The Great WTF

The Great WTF

    Causer of horrible fairy genocides

  • Moderators
  • 6,013 posts
  • Gender:Tomboy
  • Location:Buried in a pile of plot bunnies
  • A/Sexuality:Asexual

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:08 PM

I don't see any of those as perks for me, in particular because many have nothing to do with asexuality. There are asexuals who want to marry, to have kids, and people drift apart no matter what their sexuality. Just because we don't experience sexual attraction doesn't mean we're not going to be distracted by people at work, either.

Also, seriously? Being asexuality automatically means we're not going to be following fashion or going to bars and clubs? I must not be asexual, then, because I love going to bars and going dancing with my friends and going out to dinner.

Sorry, but no. No perks for me. I don't think asexuality is a major enough factor in my reality to have any perks other than not having the overwhelming urge to have sex.

Las Vegas now has a weekly asexual group! Whether you live in the area or are just passing through, please feel free to stop in and say hi!

 

We invite you to join the A/Sexy Tango, aka The Great WTF's asexual/sexual relationship blog. Warning: Snark ahead.


#4 LonelyWind

LonelyWind

    Mega Mitosis

  • Banned
  • 279 posts

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:11 PM

Sorry, but no. No perks for me. I don't think asexuality is a major enough factor in my reality to have any perks other than not having the overwhelming urge to have sex.


I believe that's a matter of libido, mostly.

And yes, I am posting everywhere because I'm bored as hell.
Dormiens, semper laetissimus sum.

#5 Mismatched

Mismatched

    Too Asexy for this Site

  • AVEN Members
  • 686 posts

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:12 PM

Well it is interesting that the old adage that 'sex sells' isn't really true. What it does is get people's attention, but if a bottle of soap was marketed with sex, while another bottle of soap has no sexy advertising, the soap with the sexy ad doesn't sell more.

The funny thing is that people may remember that ad more, but they probably wouldn't connect it to the product as much, and might even forget the product entirely. Some studies suggested that exposed to sexy advertising only about 10 percent of the people could actually remember what the ad was even for.

And sex also doesn't help sell movies either.

http://www.emergence...-does-not-sell/
http://edition.cnn.c...nt.sell.movies/

#6 DracoBorealis

DracoBorealis

    The Atrix Has You

  • AVEN Members
  • 1,139 posts

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:13 PM

Well, I can honestly say that I have never had bad sex since I have had none 8)
Also, no need to worry about protection & contraception.
Everything I do is usually totally spontaneous. -Ritchie Blackmore
I tried being reasonable, I didn't like it. -Clint Eastwood
Mens regnum bona possidet. -Seneca

Audioromantic extraordinaire, at your service.

Posted Image

#7 cbernard

cbernard

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • 20 posts
  • A/Sexuality:Asexual

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:18 PM

- You don't have to worry (at least not as much) about losing friends over messy relationships/general drama
- No need to worry about conforming to the dress styles and social facades which attract people
- People of the opposite sex feel safer around you, so it's easier to make friends with them (probably not as much as being gay, though, because it's less obvious)

#8 Mismatched

Mismatched

    Too Asexy for this Site

  • AVEN Members
  • 686 posts

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:21 PM

It seems like this list is addressing the benefits of being an aromantic asexual.

#9 5_♦♣

5_♦♣

    Asexy & Precise Timenerd

  • AVEN Members
  • 24,301 posts
  • Gender:Woman
  • A/Sexuality:Polyamorous hetero A

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:24 PM

Why is it that the opposite sex is always thought of as a distraction, but the same sex isn't? I mean, homosexuals do exist-and I'm sure they get distracted by a member of the same sex as easily as a heterosexual gets distracted by the opposite sex.

For cars she couldn't care less. Fastidious and precise-Queen.  

 

"Without death all we have are random events, accumlation. You can't call that life"-CC.

 

Also known as: 5DC, 5, DC, DCC, Diamond(s), Club(s), CC, C2, CCCD, CD, CoD, 5d, 5oD, Clubsie, Clubbles.

 

Call me Cookie and you die-Me paraphrasing Dot somewhat.

 


#10 Philip027

Philip027

    AVENator

  • AVEN Members
  • 3,926 posts
  • Gender:Male-bodied, probably agendered
  • Pronouns:Anything, really
  • Location:Hawaii
  • A/Sexuality:Nonlibidoist demiheteromantic asexual

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:33 PM

These all mostly apply to me, yup.

Why is it that the opposite sex is always thought of as a distraction, but the same sex isn't? I mean, homosexuals do exist-and I'm sure they get distracted by a member of the same sex as easily as a heterosexual gets distracted by the opposite sex.


Simple, because most people are heterosexual >_>
Posted Image

#11 dino-saw

dino-saw

    Amoeba Colony

  • AVEN Members
  • 165 posts
  • Location:Leicester, UK
  • A/Sexuality:Asexual

Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:47 PM

For me, it would be not getting distracted by people I find attractive when I'm meant to be thinking of other things, and not having sexual tension between me and my friends, because when you watch that it is definitely cringeworthy, and looks like an uncomfortable position to be in!

#12 CS1

CS1

    Amoeba

  • AVEN Members
  • 60 posts
  • Location:England

Posted 16 April 2012 - 11:04 PM

I'd say the perk for me is that I can have friendships with people of either gender without them getting the wrong idea.

#13 Naosuu

Naosuu

    Aeros Incarnate

  • Moderators
  • 2,035 posts
  • Location:The french bits of Canada. Oui oui.
  • A/Sexuality:Biromantic

Posted 16 April 2012 - 11:05 PM

Aces can still find sexual ads appealing in different ways; not all sexual people want to get married; not all asexuals will stay single; people, regardless of sexual orientations, drift apart; people IN GENERAL can enjoy singlehood; people can still distract you, but perhaps with conversation and not with sexual tension.

Cheers for making this thread, but I honestly don't see how these features are exclusive to Aces. Gonna have to try harder! :cake:
Posted Image

#14 Starr

Starr

    Asexy A-postle

  • AVEN Members
  • 583 posts
  • Gender:Unicorn
  • Location:Trinidad and Tobago
  • A/Sexuality:Chocosexual / Cakesexual

Posted 17 April 2012 - 12:43 AM



Personal perks:
- Not having to to live pursuing sex.
- Being exempt from things like sexual frustration.
- Knowing I don't need sex to live a fulfilling life no matter what others say.
- I can only say this for myself but being asexual has made life more simple for me in romantic relationship sense.




#15 5_♦♣

5_♦♣

    Asexy & Precise Timenerd

  • AVEN Members
  • 24,301 posts
  • Gender:Woman
  • A/Sexuality:Polyamorous hetero A

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:53 AM

Having been sexual before, at times when the attraction was incredibly overwhelming, I would wonder whether the object of my desire thought/felt the same way about me. So being Asexual, in that sense, is a perk. Though quite frankly, it's the only perk I can think of that's exclusively Asexual. Not to mention, my own personal perk.

For cars she couldn't care less. Fastidious and precise-Queen.  

 

"Without death all we have are random events, accumlation. You can't call that life"-CC.

 

Also known as: 5DC, 5, DC, DCC, Diamond(s), Club(s), CC, C2, CCCD, CD, CoD, 5d, 5oD, Clubsie, Clubbles.

 

Call me Cookie and you die-Me paraphrasing Dot somewhat.

 


#16 13again

13again

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • 22 posts
  • A/Sexuality:questioning asexual

Posted 17 April 2012 - 03:49 AM



Personal perks:
- Not having to to live pursuing sex.
- Being exempt from things like sexual frustration.
- Knowing I don't need sex to live a fulfilling life no matter what others say.
- I can only say this for myself but being asexual has made life more simple for me in romantic relationship sense.




YES! This describes me perfectly, thanks for putting it into words for me!

Just keep following the heartlines on your hand
Keep it up, I know you can
Just keep following the heartlines on your hand

#17 Kai99

Kai99

    Amoeba Colony

  • AVEN Members
  • 119 posts

Posted 17 April 2012 - 05:53 AM



Personal perks:
- Not having to to live pursuing sex.
- Being exempt from things like sexual frustration.
- Knowing I don't need sex to live a fulfilling life no matter what others say.
- I can only say this for myself but being asexual has made life more simple for me in romantic relationship sense.




The first three I agree with. For me, I'm happy that I'm not turn on by people who attract me because I can see that getting pretty annoying. A friend of mine explained that he doesn't just get turn on by boobs and butts (which surprise me), but also the color of a girl's hair, the eye color, etc. I'm also happy that my mind is mostly sex-free. I only think about sex in an analytical point of view. Most girls would love to have me as a friend just because they don't have to worry about me trying to make out/have sex with their boyfriends.

#18 starrynight

starrynight

    Rational Egoist

  • Project Team
  • 2,819 posts
  • Gender:A concept I don't get
  • Pronouns:She
  • Location:John Galt Line
  • A/Sexuality:Asexual, polyamorous, relationship anarchist

Posted 17 April 2012 - 06:35 AM


Personal perks:
- Not having to to live pursuing sex.
- Being exempt from things like sexual frustration.
- Knowing I don't need sex to live a fulfilling life no matter what others say.

These apply to me too, although I'm more grey-A than fully ace and sex can be fun once in a while.

My another perk is I'm never tempted by casual sex or multiple sexual partners, so the risk of STD is greatly decreased, if not completely eliminated.

To say "I love you" one must know first how to say the "I." 
 - Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead
 
 
... one of the most evil consequences of mysticism—in terms of human suffering—is the belief that love is a matter of “the heart,” not the mind, that love is an emotion independent of reason, that love is blind and impervious to the power of philosophy. Love is the expression of philosophy—of a subconscious philosophical sum—and, perhaps, no other aspect of human existence needs the conscious power of philosophy quite so desperately.
 - Ayn Rand, The Romantic Manifesto


#19 MadRat

MadRat

    The Hand of God, The Harbinger of Fate

  • AVEN Members
  • 2,592 posts
  • Gender:Non-feminine female
  • Location:Dystopia
  • A/Sexuality:Paranoid sex-repulsed asexual

Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:29 AM

You donīt have to waste your money for sexy underwear. :D
 
We must remember wounds so deep
take time to heal,
and sometimes, though we struggle still,
life seems surreal.
 
(Nevermore - Dead Heart in a Dead World)
 

 


#20 silvernlilac

silvernlilac

    Mega Mitosis

  • AVEN Members
  • 217 posts
  • Location:Coventry, UK

Posted 17 April 2012 - 12:47 PM

I love being asexual and I love not having a sex drive :D . I mean I dont know what its like to have one, but if its anything like the sugar cravings I get, then I am very glad not to have one. I can imagine having a sex drive is just an added pressure you could do without. I just think sex complicates things too much within relationships and there can be too much focus on it within a relationship. An asexual relationship sounds great, getting to focus on everything but sex and it makes you appreciate things in someone that maybe you wouldnt appreciate otherwise. I also like that I dont have to worry about having to take the pill or some other contraceptive and dont have to worry about things like getting pregnant which is great as I dont want kids anyway.

#21 thylacine

thylacine

    Asexy Authoritay!

  • AVEN Members
  • 7,244 posts
  • Gender:lady
  • Pronouns:hippie princess
  • Location:the boring suburbs
  • A/Sexuality:Go away. Don't want any.

Posted 17 April 2012 - 04:28 PM

I do think you save a lot of money being asexual... if you are a man, you spend big bucks trying to impress lots of women, but if you are a woman, not only do you need to spend a lot of money making yourself attractive to men, but then, after spending all that money being attractive to men, you need to spend a lot on your kids, if you have kids (not that some of us don't have kids, but many of us don't plan on having kids in the future).

Your kids will need to have not just food & clothes, but when they are off to school, they need the latest "cool" toy that "all the other kids have." They watch cartoons with commercials like, "Hey, kids, tell mom to buy you ---- !" "Be the first one in your neighborhood to have the new Super Destructo Atomic Whatever Toy and pretend to destroy three-fourths the Earth's surface! It's fun!" "You'll have plenty of friends when your mom buys you this ---- !" Etc. Then they go, "MOM!!! I gotta have this!" "MOM! Johnny has one, why can't I have one, too!" You get stuck buying them stuff until they are 21, and it's worse if you are a single mom who has to pay for college alone because Dad moved and left no forwarding address... You think he's in Florida, but the private investigators aren't sure!

So instead I have vet bills once in a while... it's a problem when the cat throws up and I need a new bedspread. That's an expense, too. But the cat doesn't go, "MOM! Princess has brand-x catnip, why can't I have some, too?"

(I love to have fun with this stuff, huh?)
"War! What is it good for? Absolutely nuthin!"

#22 sophs92

sophs92

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • 5 posts
  • Location:Penicuik
  • A/Sexuality:Asexual (rarely demi sexual)

Posted 17 April 2012 - 04:52 PM

The perks of being asexual for me are mainly not having to worry about contraception and STD's. So many of my friends have endless amount of worry and trips to the clinic due to their sex lives. I feel that my asexuality gives me a worry free life in that department at least. I can also enjoy the fun side of relationships (the romance and emotional intimacy I crave) without worrying about the icky sexual part that gets so messy in so many ways

#23 glitchunter

glitchunter

    Asexy Samurai

  • AVEN Members
  • 898 posts
  • Location:Denial

Posted 17 April 2012 - 04:53 PM

I'm different!

I love having an orientation that only one percent of the population has! For this reason alone, if I had the choice to re-decide my sexuality, I'd still choose ace. It makes me even wierder than I already am, and I love that.

Also (though this is more of a perk of being an aro ace) I don't have to expend energy on getting a partner. I can do other stuff instead.

DID I MENTION THAT ONLY ONE PERCENT OF THE POPULATION IS ACE, AND THEREFORE ONLY ONE PERCENT OF PEOPLE HAVE THE SAME ORIENTATION AS ME? Because that's awesome.
Check out my Tumblr? http://shannahmcgill.tumblr.com/

#24 PSUtatiana

PSUtatiana

    Mega Mitosis

  • AVEN Members
  • 219 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:New York
  • A/Sexuality:aromantic (hetero)asexual

Posted 17 April 2012 - 06:18 PM

The fact that you don't care that you don't want sex.

Lesser chance of being hurt, heart broken, attached to the other partner... like sexuals are.

Not having to worry about the constant pursuit of sex. Seems like we can spend our time on more important things. My favorite part about being asexual.

#25 Oswald

Oswald

    Mitosis to the Max

  • AVEN Members
  • 389 posts
  • Location:The Disney Vault
  • A/Sexuality:Aro-Ace

Posted 17 April 2012 - 06:38 PM

I'm probably one of the luckier ones here because I don't have any desire to pursue a relationship or sex, or start a family. I do want to work in entertainment, which is incredibly time-consuming, so that's probably for the better. And as stated above, means I don't have to worry about getting an STD or anything.
Posted Image

#26 Lost On Purpose

Lost On Purpose

    Member

  • AVEN Members
  • 32 posts
  • Location:Somewhere in the mountains
  • A/Sexuality:Asexual -- (gray?)romantic

Posted 17 April 2012 - 07:21 PM

I mostly see not having to worry about STD's and pregnancy as the only perks. Although, a monogamous sexual couple would be free from the worry of STD's as well. As for pregnancy, being in a relationship with another woman, even if it were sexual...

Lesser chance of being hurt, heart broken, attached to the other partner... like sexuals are.


This sounds more like a perk of being aromantic -- sexual or asexual. As a romantic ace, I have to say that this just doesn't apply. I am quite attached to my partner, thank you very much. While sex is not a part of the relationship, I don't see any other significant difference between what we have and what a sexual couple would.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Eleanor Roosevelt

May the Universe grant me the patience I ask of others.

#27 Strangely Brown

Strangely Brown

    Amoeba Colony

  • AVEN Members
  • 154 posts
  • Location:A steadily descending path to oblivion. Or bacon. Preferably bacon.

Posted 17 April 2012 - 09:07 PM

I'll go for just generally not being weighed down by the pressures of having to be attracted to people in a sexual manner.
Also, watching television and film is much better, as you can have more thought devoted toward the plot and understanding the characters, rather than just staring dumbly at the members of the cast who are supposedly sexually attractive. :D

Not all those who wander are lost.


#28 glitchunter

glitchunter

    Asexy Samurai

  • AVEN Members
  • 898 posts
  • Location:Denial

Posted 17 April 2012 - 10:45 PM

I'll go for just generally not being weighed down by the pressures of having to be attracted to people in a sexual manner.
Also, watching television and film is much better, as you can have more thought devoted toward the plot and understanding the characters, rather than just staring dumbly at the members of the cast who are supposedly sexually attractive. :D


Oh, yes, forgot about that. I can't stand it when I'm talking about something that I enjoy the plot of and all anybody else can say is how "hot" people are.
Check out my Tumblr? http://shannahmcgill.tumblr.com/

#29 Musical Lottie

Musical Lottie

    Amoeba

  • AVEN Members
  • 51 posts
  • Location:Cabin Pressure / BBC Sherlock
  • A/Sexuality:Asexual

Posted 18 April 2012 - 12:27 AM

Romantic attraction can be distracting enough - I've only ever felt such attraction properly* for two people, but there were times when thinking about the first person did start to drive me crazy. So I'm pleased not to have to deal with sexual attraction too. Also the idea of being 'turned on' by a stranger purely because of how they look baffles (and to an extent, if I'm honest, disgusts) me; it sounds as though it would be very annoying to say the least.

*For me, 'properly' means actually contemplating spending my life with them. Although if we count absolutely everybody for
whom I've ever had romantic feelings, the total only increases to three.



I'll go for just generally not being weighed down by the pressures of having to be attracted to people in a sexual manner.
Also, watching television and film is much better, as you can have more thought devoted toward the plot and understanding the characters, rather than just staring dumbly at the members of the cast who are supposedly sexually attractive. :D


Oh, yes, forgot about that. I can't stand it when I'm talking about something that I enjoy the plot of and all anybody else can say is how "hot" people are.


This too - I could not agree more!


I'm a romantic ace so I'm exempt from many of the perks mentioned in this thread, and unfortunately there is still the potential for people to get the wrong idea when I pursue friendships - as my life is right now, even if I were sexual I wouldn't have to worry about sex itself anyway. The implications of my asexuality are more in the smaller things now (such as not understanding references / innuendo / etc.) and for any potential relationship in the future (which may quite possibly never happen anyway).

#30 goodbye

goodbye

    A-Mazing

  • AVEN Members
  • 84 posts

Posted 18 April 2012 - 03:39 AM

I like that we have what I like to think of as a small superpower-- immunity to seduction!

Other things? Hmmm....

  • you don't have to share
  • no relationship drama
  • allegedy "so much" free time to do other things
  • fewer distractions
  • ability to observe other people more objectively?
  • NO STDS!!!
  • cheap and easy birth control with no side effects
  • more meaningful friendships
  • saving money!
  • never worrying about becoming a "30-year-old virgin" or a "whore"

So many more I can't think of!

Although there are some cons... But what would be the point of making a list of those?




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users