Does it disgust you that people think dirty thoughts about you?

[imasexyandiknowit]

It makes me feel sick inside that someone could think dirty thoughts about me. I never want anyone to think of me that way, *shudders.* I want someone to like me for who I am, not for what my body can do for them. Can you relate?

[cleuchtturm]

I don't like it, but there is nothing I can do about it. What really ticks me off is when the guy tells me what he wants to do to me (sexually), then asks me out and thinks I want him.

[The Great WTF]

Didn't I read a thread like this a few days ago?

Unfortunately, no, I can't relate at all. Sexuality is a fact of life and if someone wants to fantasize about me, bully for them. Provided they never try to act on it, I really don't give a damn what they think or imagine. Considering all the times I've imagined doing horrible, painful, and politically incorrect things to people that irritate me, I'd be one hell of a hypocrite if I got upset about someone thinking about me in anything other than a saintly light.

[Alexander C]

Nope. I'm fine with it. I don't really understand it, but it's flattering! If I found out I would take it as a compliment

[5_♦♣]

I don't think about people thinking about me that way. So...

[Daisy G.]

As long as I never find out about it, I'm good.

I'd definitely rather have people thinking about how nice/funny/smart/whatever I am, though.

[strangeLady]

When guys feel the need to let me know I get grossed out.

And then I feel violated when they expect me to reciprocate. (And I mean, EXPECT because they will ask.)

[herpaderderderderder]

It doesn't really bother me anymore. It used to, but now I find it kind of flattering (if it's coming from someone I know/trust/love). But if friends/strangers think about me that way, meh... good for them. They're not getting any. I'm taken... and thankfully my partner is ace (or demi-ish).

[glitchunter]

It makes me feel sick inside that someone could think dirty thoughts about me. I never want anyone to think of me that way, *shudders.* I want someone to like me for who I am, not for what my body can do for them. Can you relate?

Yes, fully. It makes me feel violated. *shrugs* I can't explain it, but anyone who tells me that it's silly to feel that way will quickly get told where to go. I'll feel however I want to feel, thanks.

That said, I don't think about it or worry about it with any regularity. I just generally conduct myself in ways that aren't likely to increase the chances of such a thing happening (say, by wearing revealing clothing). Obviously it's not that simple; someone out there could potentially be attracted to me if I wore a paper bag over my head and dressed in stinky bedsheets every day, and I can do nothing to change that. Besides, I do want to look some combination of respectable and maybe even pretty at times, so I'm certainly not going to be purposely turning people off.

But yeah, I just choose not to think about or encourage it.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. I rarely think about people thinking about me like that, but when I do it disgusts me greatly.

[AceSpace]

Depends on who is doing it...

If I am attracted to the person, I think it is cute.

If not, I think it is creepy and uncomfortable.

Although I probably wouldn't entertain their fantasies, I find fantasies fascinating...

[zoidberger]

It makes me feel sick inside that someone could think dirty thoughts about me. I never want anyone to think of me that way, *shudders.* I want someone to like me for who I am, not for what my body can do for them. Can you relate?

Yes, fully. It makes me feel violated. *shrugs* I can't explain it, but anyone who tells me that it's silly to feel that way will quickly get told where to go. I'll feel however I want to feel, thanks.

That said, I don't think about it or worry about it with any regularity. I just generally conduct myself in ways that aren't likely to increase the chances of such a thing happening (say, by wearing revealing clothing). Obviously it's not that simple; someone out there could potentially be attracted to me if I wore a paper bag over my head and dressed in stinky bedsheets every day, and I can do nothing to change that. Besides, I do want to look some combination of respectable and maybe even pretty at times, so I'm certainly not going to be purposely turning people off.

But yeah, I just choose not to think about or encourage it.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. I rarely think about people thinking about me like that, but when I do it disgusts me greatly.

I completely agree. I tend to not think about the idea at all but would feel quite violated, grossed out, and as if I needed to end all ties with anyone who thought of me when masturbating. It would be almost as strong as if someone thought of me and it caused them to commit horrific violent acts...

[whisper in the wind]

The thought that anyone could think dirty thoughts about me is unfathomable. I have such low self esteem, so of course I dont think of my body in a positive light and could never imagine anyone finding it attractive.

That being said, while I would definitely feel uncomfortable, squeamish and awkward if I found out anyone was thinking about me that way, at the same time I would probably feel a little flattered, only in that Id be surprised and grateful that this person saw something in me other than hideous or ugly. Im a huge people pleaser. I crave approval from others, and while I wouldnt want any sexual advances, I have to admit that if someone does find any kind of attraction in me, it would raise my self-esteem, regardless of how disgusted I am by the thought of what theyre thinking.

Did that make any sense?... lol. :/

[cleuchtturm]

The thought that anyone could think dirty thoughts about me is unfathomable. I have such low self esteem, so of course I dont think of my body in a positive light and could never imagine anyone finding it attractive.

A hot body isn't a requirement for dirty thoughts. A vagina is.

[The Great WTF]

The thought that anyone could think dirty thoughts about me is unfathomable. I have such low self esteem, so of course I dont think of my body in a positive light and could never imagine anyone finding it attractive.

A hot body isn't a requirement for dirty thoughts. A vagina is.

Not even that. There's a fetish for everything.

[endplusone]

I only really became aware of it when rumours started to spread about me and I had unwanted physical sexual advances in high school. I actually started to really hate myself physically as a result. For the most part I forced it out of my mind. It took a while to get used to, but now I don't mind if my partner fantasizes. In fact, I encourage it, because, given he is highly sexual, I would think there was something wrong with the relationship if he didn't express interest.

[Guest member25959]

I'm not really bothered as long as hey keep it to themselves.

[Bellaitalia]

YES! Oh my gosh I feel completely disgusted. If I like the guy it's not that bad...and if he actually knows and likes me as a person I don't mind...but I can not stand when guys call me hott or just say things about my body or their actions that lead me to think that they are sexually obsessed with me...or are trying to hook up. It makes me feel very vulnerable, powerless, and disrespected. I really for once would love it if a guy that I liked was genuine and liked me for me as a person--he loves spending time with me because I make him happy. I don't want someone to like me just for my looks, just to have a girlfriend, or just to hook up. Ew. This is why I avoid meeting guys at bars. I also don't like when the guy is aggressive and shows interest too fast

[Boo42069yomomma]

It makes me feel sick inside that someone could think dirty thoughts about me. I never want anyone to think of me that way, *shudders.* I want someone to like me for who I am, not for what my body can do for them. Can you relate?

It doesn't disqust me persay, but it's highly akward.

For example, my girlfriend called me a "sexy beast".

Undoubtedly the most awkward moment of my life.

[Mr. Shuttershy]

I'm bothered by it.

But I have a huge intimidating vibe, nobody approaches me.

I have an ample chest, but luckily nobody's ever stared. I'm pretty un-noticeable.

[Angela R]

Three was this one time right after work, a coworker once made a joke of having "naked Tuesdays" and then looked straight at me. And I really didn't want to believe he was imagining anything, that he said it to tease me and was looking at me for a reaction and not because he was undressing me with his eyes, but I was super, super, uncomfortable.

On the other hand, except for specific incidents like above, I don't really imagine people are thinking anything dirty about me, because I don't think dirty things about them.

[gilnokoibito]

Ewww! NO!

I never thought any guy could think dirty thoughts about me before...but one time my bf and I were talking and he told me the "truth" about him thinking about me "that way" and sometimes doing "that" when he did. And I...just wanted to jump out of the car - which was moving btw! Back then I was still working out my asexuality as it were...but it still...the thought that he could think things like that about me...was just so disgusting! And I don't want this to sound bad or weird in any way...but the thought of me, someone who had never had any type of sexual relations (not even kissing!) and having someone think about me sexually...was just...I felt like I had been mind raped! I just...eww! Saying I look cute=awesome, even saying it in a erm...somewhat dirty way (I once had my boobs complemented...O.o) still makes me blush a little even though it's REALLY awkward! But having "sexy" thoughts about me is such a turn off that it makes me feel like I wanna puke! I actually feel violated somehow! It's just...no...Do NOT wanna even think that someone does that about me! Egh! >.<

[Guest]

Doesn't bother me. But I am not really sex repulsed. If someone wants to think about me it is their right. Just don't expect me to care. Lol

[Pandora's Fox]

I generally find it offensive if someone was to think of me in such ways (unless it was someone I have developed attraction towards perhaps). However, I can never tell. I cannot read minds.

[sheep11]

If someone is just looking at me a lot or even calls me "hot" I can still convince myself that they just find me aesthetically attractive at that time for some reason but if they comment on how I look in a sexual way then I feel violated like they've seen more of me than what I wanted to show them if that makes sense.

[Starr]

I had one squish who was very perverted and had no qualms in telling me his fantasies about me ( mind you I am not the most attractive person out there . Skinny , flat chested etc ). I wasn't disgusted with the fact that he thought of doing naughty things to me but that he made it seem that all I was good for was the fact that I had a vagina lol.

I used to be upset about it cause back then I was pretty repulsed by the idea of me having sex so why should others use my discomfort to entertain themselves ? I tried to make my self even more unattractive by how I dressed & tried to develop a nasty outer attitude to repel people ( that was in high school I can't do this these days anyway )

I pretty much got over it because I can't control what others think or feel and no matter how much they fantasize about me nothing's going to happen anyway. If it's someone I'm attracted to I feel flattered nowadays . If it's someone I'm not I just brush it off.

[BabySquare]

people can think what they like about me IN THEIR HEADS. It's only if they make it known to myself or others in a way that that couldn't be classed a genuinely respectful that I get the machete out.

[The Great WTF]

If you guys don't mind a curious WTF's question, why is it exactly that the idea of someone thinking of you sexually so distressing? People make blind assumptions and think strange things (sexual or otherwise) about strangers on a daily basis. They can think you're a slut for your choice in shirt, a lesbian for your haircut, they might imagine any number of things from talking to you to slicing you up in tiny pieces and feeding you to their dog. Why is it the idea of sexual thoughts, specifically, so alarming? Nine times out of ten, you'll never even know they were thinking that.

[Guest Invisible Pumpkin]

I doesn't bother me, but it bothers me when people think about bad music, ohhhh no, no that either, I don't try to control people thoughts, that's all.

[The Great WTF]

If you guys don't mind a curious WTF's question, why is it exactly that the idea of someone thinking of you sexually so distressing?

Well if I'm being completely honest (and because I have no reason not to, I will be), I'd say that for me, it's mostly -- though not exclusively -- simply due to the fact that I have a lot of negative feelings about sex. I've struggled at times with feeling negatively about sex within the context of a loving relationship, so it seems quite natural to me that I would feel very uncomfortable with the idea of others (be it an acquaintance, a friend or a random stranger) thinking of me in such an intimate way. I don't want anyone imagining me doing things, or having things done to me, that I wouldn't actually allow in real life. Like I said in my first post, I realise I have only a small amount of control (through things like clothing choices, body language, etc.) over whether people actually think such things though, so I don't dwell upon it. That doesn't exactly mean that I'm totally okay with it, just that I'm not going to worry excessively about something that's pointless to think about.

This is, of course, only MY reasoning. I know it's not true for every other person who said they were distressed at the idea of others thinking of them in sexual ways.

And I have negative emotions connected with the word otaku, which might explain why I get extremely irritated when someone calls me one, so I can understand that to an extent. Because I've never had the kind of negative (or positive, really) emotional connection to sex, it's not exactly the easiest thing for me to grasp, but it makes sense. Thanks.

[Michiyo]

As long as they don't tell me about it. If they did though, it would freak me out a bit