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Christianity, the Bible and Asexuality


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#1 significantlysilent

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 02:57 PM

So, I was raised in a Bretheren Christian family. Sexuality wise, I was raised to believe that those who aren't in a heterosexual relationship, are disobeying God. Also, that God created man and woman to live together and be intimate only after they are married and commited to one another. That divorce is wrong unless abuse or adultery is commited blahblahblah and so on so forth.
To make it clear, I am supportive of those who are homo/bi/trans/pansexual and any other sexuality that one identifies with or prefers. I am also not one to be intimate or whatever, but don't care whether or not one lives with another or is intimate before marriage let alone if one gets a divorce, etc. That's none of my business to say whether or not they are respecting God. Overall, I believe I am more Diest if anything, which would mean I believe there is a God but not in the fact of the Bible (or what is claimed to be God's word) is always correct, reasonable, or rational in a certain time, place, or today's world.
Okay, to get to the point, my mother believes that Asexuality does not exist because "God did not create one to be that way" and "it's not Godly". My sister said the same thing, along with that it is not "normal" or "how God created us to be". My dad seems indifferent to the matter.
I believe I am asexual. I don't believe that religion and sexuality should intermix or determine the one because of the other. Although I disagree with what my parents believe from their Christian perspective, I still think that one can believe those things if they choose and be asexual as well.
Sorry for my rant, religion just bothers me often and more so when combined with sexuality. Any other opinions or experience with regilion and sexuality you feel like sharing? And it doesn't have to be just Christianity, as I am curious about other religions perspectives or views as well. On a side note, I'm diest, and am fine with my sexuality and religion. Just curious why some think the way they do.
 


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#2 G4RRYs

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 03:31 PM

I don't know much about Christianity. Even though I was brought up as a Christian for years, it doesn't suit me at all and seems quite strict. I think Christianity isn't very accepting of some sexualities, and can be quite hateful at times. And someone saying "God did not create one to be that way" doesn't sound right to me. If we were indeed created by an omnipotent and omniscient god then we must have all been created perfectly. But I don't believe in creationism anyway.

 

I do know a little bit about Buddhism though. As far as I can tell, Buddhism is okay with different sexualities and gender identities, including Asexuality. As long as someone doesn't cause harm to another being, then it is okay. I have read that all sexual activity (or lack of), is karmically workable. Provided it is not a form of sexual misconduct, then there shouldn't be much of a problem.



#3 Faidh

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 03:46 PM

In my circles fertility is considered extremely important so the act of sex is encouraged. To not do so is considered 'unnatural' to a certain degree. I think the problem is, in many religions, you'll find there is an area which an asexual can feel comfortable in but most of the people involved tend to ignore it and opt for their favourite option.

In Christian circles, many prophets were celibate so I don't see why asexuality is such a poor jump. I mean, I would have thought as far transcending bodily 'sins' (such a looking on someones partner with 'lust') and desires would be pretty great. Really, when it comes to Christianity, unless you are Catholic, a lot of the beliefs are entirely up to debate. My father believes a person can be Christian if they are homosexual but not be if they are a practicing homosexual. Personally I think this is rubbish and he has no proof for it but that is were the problem is. In the Bible there are a lot of rules none of us bother with (avoiding divorce, not eating prawns or pork, fasting, money lenders, speaking tongues etc.) or we pick and choose, so when it comes to other sexualities it is really up to the person, unless you have to listen to the Vatican/Orthodox Church/Any Large Organised and Ordered Church, and even that can be argued with. No one can use it as an excuse to mock because there is nothing in the Bible against asexuality, in fact, quite a bit encouraging it. I think a lot of people actually choke at the idea Jesus could have been a sexual being, celibate or not.

#4 Prince of Tea

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 04:01 PM

I'm pagan, and I run the Asexual Pagans tumblr. In a lot of pagan traditions, sex is considered a magical act, and many pagan holidays and rituals have to do with fertility. In the particular pagan groups I'm a part of, fertility is often associated with the creative process in ways that aren't just related to sex, but there is definitely a lot of sexual imagery in paganism. Hence my reason for creating Asexual Pagans- there didn't seem to be enough discourse in the pagan community talking about asexuality.

#5 MinusCelsius

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 04:23 PM

I think religions are nothing but an excuse to not take responsiblity for opinions and choices in life. "It's what god wants" is no valid point; gods are an abstract concept originally created to explain things that were beyond peoples' capability of understanding the world. For example, native tribes worshipping the sun because that thing was obviously a real good one to have around, but no-one knew what it was.
Religion is long outdated as science evolved and explained the mysteries that originally created religions (and is working on solving the remaining mysteries; that's the great thing about science, it's not static and open to accept new concepts if old ones are proven wrong).
Over the course of history, religion has done more harm than good. Most of the "rules" are nothing but common sense to keep a society functional. Basic laws like respecting life and property. Other than spreading these laws, religion has caused wars, prejudice and hate for no other reason than "but they worship the wrong god". Religion has been in the way of science, by repressing scientists that tried to explain things in a rational way.

Frankly, I pity religious people.
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#6 ChesireBat

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 05:02 PM

I'm pagan, and I run the Asexual Pagans tumblr. In a lot of pagan traditions, sex is considered a magical act, and many pagan holidays and rituals have to do with fertility. In the particular pagan groups I'm a part of, fertility is often associated with the creative process in ways that aren't just related to sex, but there is definitely a lot of sexual imagery in paganism. Hence my reason for creating Asexual Pagans- there didn't seem to be enough discourse in the pagan community talking about asexuality.


What's your website address? I'm an eclectic pagan and have never heard of such a community. Thanks!

#7 Samael

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 05:16 PM

I think religions are nothing but an excuse to not take responsiblity for opinions and choices in life. "It's what god wants" is no valid point; gods are an abstract concept originally created to explain things that were beyond peoples' capability of understanding the world. For example, native tribes worshipping the sun because that thing was obviously a real good one to have around, but no-one knew what it was.
Religion is long outdated as science evolved and explained the mysteries that originally created religions (and is working on solving the remaining mysteries; that's the great thing about science, it's not static and open to accept new concepts if old ones are proven wrong).
Over the course of history, religion has done more harm than good. Most of the "rules" are nothing but common sense to keep a society functional. Basic laws like respecting life and property. Other than spreading these laws, religion has caused wars, prejudice and hate for no other reason than "but they worship the wrong god". Religion has been in the way of science, by repressing scientists that tried to explain things in a rational way.

Frankly, I pity religious people.


Yes, science may be seen as a more advanced form of religion, since they both aim to "reveal" the hidden truth. Science does this with the scientific method but the religion does not rely on a rational method but on revelation. The premise of science is that every claim needs to be proven to be considered valid, but religion has no need for proving anything but takes the promoted revelation on faith.

The modern self-aware and intelligent person may have quite a bit of trouble in embracing the religious way of seeing things, especially if a claim is to be taken seriously. As such, I am forced to question the intelligence of a person who stands by the claims made by a religion, especially if the claim is not backed up by science, ie. the claim is proven to be valid.

If someone says to me that asexuality is bad or unnatural because the deity or the dogma in the religion that they adhere to is said to claim so, I'm not convinced of the validity of the claim. Because religion and science have very different premises, we must categorize them. There is to be the religious way of seeing things and the rational / scientific way, and people may choose which way they wish to identify with.
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#8 NamTar

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 08:26 PM

I've always felt it was more that the Bible was written in a time when it was good for the population to be growing, so anything that discouraged the population from growing was discouraged and said to be wrong morally.

#9 Sketchpad

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 08:34 PM

I never understood the "asexuality is not of God" arguement despite being a Christian myself. My dad thinks me being ace is a blessing because, in his mind, it translates to "I won't be distracted by worldly sexual desires, so I can focus more on God and the word."
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#10 The Great WTF

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 08:39 PM

My boyfriend's grandmother thinks I'm under demonic influence because I'm asexual. :rolleyes: And she's told most of the family this. Apparently, to not feel a desire for sex is to spit in the face of God's gift of desire between a husband and wife. :wacko: I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that she believes it and uses it as an excuse to hate me or the fact that she has OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS believing it now, too.

For what it's worth, I hate organized religion with a passion. People like my boyfriend's grandmother just make it worse.

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#11 NamTar

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 08:50 PM

Yeah, it's so conflicting. On one hand,they say it's terrible to be too into sex, on the other, they say if you're not interested at all, something is wrong.

But then, I was raised Catholic. Everyone thought it was right and proper for nuns and priests to be celibate (which most people equate with asexuality), but somehow, not for other people, and most of them were against all birth control and had enormous families. I can understand that they think it's best within a marriage and all that (I don't necessarily agree, but I accept their belief on it) but it irks me that then they'd go and say there is a problem with asexuality. I think it comes down to conformity, they are suspicious of anyone not like themselves.

#12 mackat5

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 09:22 PM

I would say that acceptance depends on the denomination you're talking about. The Presbyterian church(USA) has been somewhat accepting of LGBT folk, and is getting better, thanks to the folks of More Light Presbyterians(MLP), who are working for inclusion of LGBT folk into the life of the church. I know of a Presbyterian Church which has accepted LGBT people as members, AND there are others around the country. And the Pastor there knew that I identified as asexual, and never gave me any problems about it. He accepted me AS I AM!!

Then there's UFMCC, of which I'm now a member(MCCDetroit). This denomination was started by a gay man and accepts ALL people. We believe that a person CAN be LGBT(and A) and be Christian. We don't see anything anywhere in the Bible that shuts anyone of any orientation out of any Christian church.
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#13 Sally

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 09:27 PM

I've always felt it was more that the Bible was written in a time when it was good for the population to be growing, so anything that discouraged the population from growing was discouraged and said to be wrong morally.


You're right.

I'm not a Christian but I have gay friends (one is a female paster) who are part of the United Church of Christ denomination (UCC). It's a very accepting organization.

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#14 AceSpace

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 09:35 PM

Religion bothers me, too.

It bothers me because it has been wrong about SO MANY THINGS and yet it asserts itself like it knows everything.

Just be confident in who you are and stay tall.
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#15 MinusCelsius

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 10:54 PM

It bothers me because it has been wrong about SO MANY THINGS and yet it asserts itself like it knows everything.


This. I don't know if I should laugh or cry about "creationism" being taught in schools, instead of evolution. I mean, come on, there's no part in the bible where god says "lololol dinosaurs, I can't c u". It's been proven wrong so many times, in so many ways, yet people still 'believe' it? I just can't wrap my mind around it how that works. I trust facts, and I have no problem to accept a new one if the old is proven wrong. I wouldn't go to war because someone had a different theory. And it will forever remain a mystery how people can seriously claim to believe things that are so obviously not correct. Sheer faith won't make rocks edible, and sheer faith doesn't make all dinosaur bones go poof.
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#16 mackat5

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 12:21 AM

Not all Christian denominations believe in "Creationism". I know, because I have belonged to the Presbyterian Church(USA) for over 30 years, and they have made it plain that they go with evolution. I think that this creaTionism stuff is a bunch of nonsense!!
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#17 The Great WTF

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 12:29 AM

It's kind of depressing, when I think about it. Some of the most wonderful, understanding people I know are Christians... as are some of the most horrible people. A few minutes ago I a had a conversation with a girl that I tend to forget is Christian about how much it hurts when someone tears apart her beliefs just for the sake of tearing them apart. She's always been very kind and supportive of any issues people have and has proudly attended several Pride events with gay friends.

It all boils down to how they interpret (and disregard) certain passages in the Bible. It seems like a lot of the more vocal members of any religion will also be the ones who are most likely to beat down, dehumanize, and delegitimatize (Yes, I know that is not a word and my grammar Nazi brain is screaming at me for it but I'm using it anyway) anyone they perceive as "different" in any way. I read the Bible several times (and probably wrote at least half of it as punishments at some point or another in school) and I don't recall anything in the Bible stating that humans were "created" to experience sexual attraction. Even so, some of the most vocal "asexuality isn't real/is a disease" voices I've encountered are some variant of Bible-based religious.
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#18 Metal Fuschia

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 12:46 AM

I want to give you all hugs.

#19 5_♦♣

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 01:11 AM

God, deja vu is such a weird feeling. I could've swore I saw this topic about a week ago-and I did... In my dreams. Anyway, I don't have experiences to share because I was an Atheist when I was sexual. Also considered myself such when I didn't realize that I'm Ace. Since realizing that I'm Asexual, I got more and more into spiritual, even occult stuff. Finally discovered dualist pantheism last summer, started identifying as such. Though honestly, it was for the sake of having a name/label for my spiritual beliefs as 'I don't know what the heck I am' just didn't cut it any longer.

I just got deja vu again typing all that.

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#20 thylacine

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 04:08 PM

My boyfriend's grandmother thinks I'm under demonic influence because I'm asexual. :rolleyes: And she's told most of the family this. Apparently, to not feel a desire for sex is to spit in the face of God's gift of desire between a husband and wife. :wacko: I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that she believes it and uses it as an excuse to hate me or the fact that she has OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS believing it now, too.

For what it's worth, I hate organized religion with a passion. People like my boyfriend's grandmother just make it worse.


How terribly sad... some people just need a reason to hate people who are different in any way, whether they are black, or foreign, or whatever... and then to go and use religion as an excuse. That's just plain sad.
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#21 Karuka

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 04:13 PM

I'm atheist I do not believe that there are any gods somewhere around I also do not give a damn about what any religion thinks about me :)

there is something about christianity and its holly book that I want to say: bible is the most multiedited book in history :wacko:

as for other religions/beliefs, I think I read somewhere (and I cant find where) that satanism recognizes asexuality fully

and that's all I know :)

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#22 Mr. Shuttershy

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 06:04 PM

Religion bothers me, too.

It bothers me because it has been wrong about SO MANY THINGS and yet it asserts itself like it knows everything.

Just be confident in who you are and stay tall.

To be fair, its not the religion, it is the people.

I'm a Christian. I'm not going to call your beliefs ridiculous, as mine have been in this thread. However, you must know that the people doing these insane things are not actually in-line with the Bible.
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#23 Kzil

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 06:13 PM

In my opinion, Christians who bash LGBTQ+ people and demonize them aren't behaving like true Christians. Yes, a lot of denominations believe that homosexuality is a sin, but most also believe that every single person is a sinner. They should be accepting and understanding. It's too bad that a lot of radical (because that's what they are, if they're demonizing the people themselves) church figures choose to voice their disagreement with homosexuality through vile, and hateful terms. It makes all Christians look bigoted.

That said, I think dismissing religion and faith as a whole is just as bad as dismissing asexuality, or homosexuality, or whatever other orientation you may have. People have done some horrible things in the the name of faith, but people will do horrible things in the name of just about anything. It doesn't make faith in itself wrong.

I identify myself first as a follower of Jesus before I do as an asexual. It's a major part of who I am. And I don't see anything wrong with asexuality in terms of Christian faith - I always just considered myself celibate, before I found out that I fit the dictionary definition of asexual.


mackat5 is right, that is well said.


I'm a christian, specifically a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (a.k.a. LDS, Mormon). The LDS church believes that you have to be married to reach the highest level of heaven, and having children is important. Other than that, I'm not aware of anything saying asexuality is a sin, per se. Then again, I haven't talked to anyone in the church about it.

I've heard a lot more against homosexuality. That's probably partly due to the fact that homosexuality is a lot more known in general.

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#24 Vdougie

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 07:00 PM

I'm an agnostic atheist and I despise organized religion. I know that most religions such as Christianity have been against homosexuality. But, I haven't really heard them being against asexuality, most likely because they haven't heard about it yet.

I know that there is a passage in the bible of Genesis that says, "Be fruitful and multiply." Well, I am pretty sure that Christians one day may start having problems with asexuals because they feel that they are not doing "God's will" or whatever.

My boyfriend's grandmother thinks I'm under demonic influence because I'm asexual. :rolleyes: And she's told most of the family this. Apparently, to not feel a desire for sex is to spit in the face of God's gift of desire between a husband and wife. :wacko: I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that she believes it and uses it as an excuse to hate me or the fact that she has OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS believing it now, too.

For what it's worth, I hate organized religion with a passion. People like my boyfriend's grandmother just make it worse.


This is one of the reasons why I am anti-religious, because there are people in the world that use religion to demonize (no pun intended) others. If some religious people would keep their religion to themselves, I would have as much problem with it as I do now.

#25 thylacine

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 07:18 PM

Kzil... I am wondering, if you don't mind my asking, the Mormons believe you must be married to reach the highest level of Heaven... Where do old spinsters, asexual people, gay people, people who just can't get a date, and etc., go? Is there a place for other folks in the Afterlife?
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#26 Kzil

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 07:36 PM

Kzil... I am wondering, if you don't mind my asking, the Mormons believe you must be married to reach the highest level of Heaven... Where do old spinsters, asexual people, gay people, people who just can't get a date, and etc., go? Is there a place for other folks in the Afterlife?


Mormons believe there are three kingdoms of glory: Celestial, Terrestrial, and Telestial. The idea is essentially that everyone goes to heaven, but some people go to a better heaven (except sons of perdition, of which there have been at most a handful throughout all of history). The Celestial kingdom is further split in three levels. The top level of the Celestial kingdom requires marriage.

My personal beliefs are not necessarily the same as the church at large. I'm kind of halfway between practicing and non-practicing right now.

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#27 whisper in the wind

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 08:35 PM

Overall, I believe I am more Diest if anything, which would mean I believe there is a God but not in the fact of the Bible (or what is claimed to be God\'s word) is always correct, reasonable, or rational in a certain time, place, or today\'s world.


This is me. I believe there is a god/higher power. However I do not believe that the bible is to be taken seriously, nor any religious rules or standards. For the same reasons others above me have said, what is claimed as Gods Word isnt exactly reliable. Therefore I take whats written in the bible with a grain of salt. I personally believe there is a God and I believe in an afterlife. But after being raised baptist, I strayed away and currently consider myself non-denominational because I refuse to conform to the rules and standards of any one religion.

That being said, I think anything certain religions say is right or wrong is up for debate. True, the bible says that homosexuality is wrong, but according to the same text so is dancing, tattoos, piercings, birth control, women wearing pants, cutting their hair or adorning themselves with jewels, gambling, overeating and getting drunk. And lets not forget the sins such as lying, jealousy/envy, hatred, offending other people, quarreling and having sex outside of marriage. Almost everything is considered a sin, and one thing Christians are supposed to accept with their faith is that we are all sinners undeserving of Gods love. So targeting out some things as sins and ignoring the others is contradictory and wrong.

Nobody has ever told me that Im sinning by being asexual. Hopefully nobody ever will, but if someone does I would likely make a comeback by telling them they are sinning just as bad by having a sexual relationship outside of marriage. Or, if they are married I would instead say that according to their scripture they are sinning by listening to songs with curse words, by dancing, having piercings or tattoos, talking bad about their neighbor or heck, by flat out discriminating against me - so hey, we are even now.
You're screaming at the air, "I don't even care!"
And all the air is whispering, "Who do you think you're fooling?"

#28 Kzil

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 06:38 AM


Overall, I believe I am more Diest if anything, which would mean I believe there is a God but not in the fact of the Bible (or what is claimed to be God\'s word) is always correct, reasonable, or rational in a certain time, place, or today\'s world.


This is me. I believe there is a god/higher power. However I do not believe that the bible is to be taken seriously, nor any religious rules or standards. For the same reasons others above me have said, what is claimed as Gods Word isnt exactly reliable. Therefore I take whats written in the bible with a grain of salt. I personally believe there is a God and I believe in an afterlife. But after being raised baptist, I strayed away and currently consider myself non-denominational because I refuse to conform to the rules and standards of any one religion.

That being said, I think anything certain religions say is right or wrong is up for debate. True, the bible says that homosexuality is wrong, but according to the same text so is dancing, tattoos, piercings, birth control, women wearing pants, cutting their hair or adorning themselves with jewels, gambling, overeating and getting drunk. And lets not forget the sins such as lying, jealousy/envy, hatred, offending other people, quarreling and having sex outside of marriage. Almost everything is considered a sin, and one thing Christians are supposed to accept with their faith is that we are all sinners undeserving of Gods love. So targeting out some things as sins and ignoring the others is contradictory and wrong.

Nobody has ever told me that Im sinning by being asexual. Hopefully nobody ever will, but if someone does I would likely make a comeback by telling them they are sinning just as bad by having a sexual relationship outside of marriage. Or, if they are married I would instead say that according to their scripture they are sinning by listening to songs with curse words, by dancing, having piercings or tattoos, talking bad about their neighbor or heck, by flat out discriminating against me - so hey, we are even now.


A quote I heard recently: "Don't judge me because my sins are different than yours."

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't that they'ed understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am


#29 Mr. Shuttershy

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 07:31 PM


Overall, I believe I am more Diest if anything, which would mean I believe there is a God but not in the fact of the Bible (or what is claimed to be God\'s word) is always correct, reasonable, or rational in a certain time, place, or today\'s world.


This is me. I believe there is a god/higher power. However I do not believe that the bible is to be taken seriously, nor any religious rules or standards. For the same reasons others above me have said, what is claimed as Gods Word isnt exactly reliable. Therefore I take whats written in the bible with a grain of salt. I personally believe there is a God and I believe in an afterlife. But after being raised baptist, I strayed away and currently consider myself non-denominational because I refuse to conform to the rules and standards of any one religion.

That being said, I think anything certain religions say is right or wrong is up for debate. True, the bible says that homosexuality is wrong, but according to the same text so is dancing, tattoos, piercings, birth control, women wearing pants, cutting their hair or adorning themselves with jewels, gambling, overeating and getting drunk. And lets not forget the sins such as lying, jealousy/envy, hatred, offending other people, quarreling and having sex outside of marriage. Almost everything is considered a sin, and one thing Christians are supposed to accept with their faith is that we are all sinners undeserving of Gods love. So targeting out some things as sins and ignoring the others is contradictory and wrong.

Nobody has ever told me that Im sinning by being asexual. Hopefully nobody ever will, but if someone does I would likely make a comeback by telling them they are sinning just as bad by having a sexual relationship outside of marriage. Or, if they are married I would instead say that according to their scripture they are sinning by listening to songs with curse words, by dancing, having piercings or tattoos, talking bad about their neighbor or heck, by flat out discriminating against me - so hey, we are even now.

I'll pm you about this but the Bible doesn't neccesarily condemn homosexuality.
I suppose its hard to feel a minority if your personal majority is majorly minorities.

#30 Batman's Ace

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 03:43 AM

Kzil... I am wondering, if you don't mind my asking, the Mormons believe you must be married to reach the highest level of Heaven... Where do old spinsters, asexual people, gay people, people who just can't get a date, and etc., go? Is there a place for other folks in the Afterlife?

According to my Mormon, while marriage is required, there's not actually a clear requirement to have sex. So asexuality wouldn't necessarily be an issue.

Anyway, there are other levels of Heaven, which, being levels of Heaven, should logically be lovely places to be. I don't know much about the levels, though, so I don't know who would go where or whatnot.
Don't you wish you could escape a gas-filled death trap by cutting through the door with a welding torch you happen to have tucked in your belt, while breathing through a candy thermometer?




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