Pluto

Asexy genes ?

17 posts in this topic

Okay befor eveyone attacks me I have to say , I know . Okay , I know theres no actual ''Proof , or 'scientific explanation' for asexuality'' , I know , I made my researches , and theirs nothing to do with possible genetic influences that made me identify as asexual . I'm just an asexual (At least I am for sure at the moment) . That's final . And I've identified as one befor this happend .

But I've been talking to my mother more deeply about my orientation and how I feel and I've talked to her and asked her questions and so now it's really more open , nothing to hide . It's good .

But something popped up , that really made me think .

Has anyone , who identifies themselves as asexual , demisexual or something of that sort , found themselves in a particular situation where it could seem like , there could actually be some genetic influence ? OR rather , I should ask , has anyone ever looked at a close relative or even parent and started having doubts ?

I'm not claiming anything , and not judging , but I am questioning . I am questioning my mother's sexuality . As I've gotten in some nice talks about asexuality with her , at multiple times in conversations I started to give some 'traditional' sexual attraction examples that I hear of to compare that to my orientation to make her really understand more and 'get the picture' . Since just coming out with a therm and definitions sometimes seemed overwhelming and somewhat confusing . And as a result , to some point , she said she did not relate much to my examples (which where in questioning her about some attractions she could have had growing up and now) . I got replies such as (examples):

-I never really looked at anyone in that way really

-never really found anyone 'attractive' only by appearance .

-I've had a crush but I knew them before and they(the person) was a friend and it did not really have to do with looks ...

And others of that sort , one in which most shocking was when I asked her if she was attracted 'visually/physically/sexually' to my father before they where dating or at the beginning and she said no . :blink: But of course now she says that she is (I'm here aren't I lol :wacko: joke) , and along with other talks it seems she's somehow ''indifferent'' to seeing other possibly attractive people .

And she was really open about it , and she had well understood my orientation and she wasn't saying it in a way to make me 'feel better' or 'forget' about asexuality , she seemed really serious about this(And I've been out for a while and it's not really and issue at all now , we're totally honest and open , she's cool with it) .

I'm ... I was kinda , really shocked :huh: . This made me think , my mother , seems to show some signs of possibly being demisexual ... :mellow: My mom could be an asexual who later picks up sexual interest only after having a romantic relationship with someone , that's what it looks like . :blink: . I was shocked , later my mom said something like "Oh , well maybe your getting that from me ^_^ " Woah ... I thought ''Is that possible ? , could she be demisexual ? , and is there a chance of it being genetic to some point ?!?"

What's also weird is that , I actually told her in a sort of joke , 'Youknow , you kinda sound like you could be demisexual' and I explained to her what it was (as she had not heard of that before , or asexuality before I explained it to her before that for the matter) and she didn't seem to react much . She has said before that , that I'm thinking to much and that it's not important , but she didn't say she wasn't . And I will add that I did only say that after I heard about her things ... And I never knew of asexuality because of her or anything , I made my own research and questioned myself and it had nothing to do with her , I only found out about this because later on when explaining it to her , she could sorta relate :blink: .

And that makes me think , having my mom being demisexual , if she is , and me being asexual , could there be links ?! . What if it could be somehow genetic ?!? Not in everycases , but what if it could be to some point . I raise the question .

Has anyone ever doubted of or heard of, having a relative or parent(or any other ancestor)who could be asexual ?

Anyone else encountered something like this ?(Now I'm not claiming anything , I'm just curious as she does show some signs of possibly being demisexual and it made me think ).

Thanks! :)

--Pluto X

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Moved from The Gray Area to Asexual Musings and Rantings.

Faelights,

The Gray Area Moderator.

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Moved from The Gray Area to Asexual Musings and Rantings.

Faelights,

The Gray Area Moderator.

Thanks! ^_^ and sorry about that ,I just noticed I had not posted it in the right place after I already sended it .

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I thought I was the only one in the world that had my thoughts and feelings, or, lack there of. Long story short, I began researching things, came across asexuality and AVEN. At the same time I began to open up to my aunt about my thoughts and stuff and she said she agrees with me and could live completely without sex and could see herself with a male or female in a sexless relationship....I was shocked. She then shared that 4 of her sisters (she is one of 6) also have a similar stance to a degree. My mother we do not know, however, I have not seen much affection or anything between my parents my entire life so who knows. Anyway, although there isn't a genetic component YET found, I think it could be like homosexuality and have a genetic component.

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I'm a demi and I suspect my mom is one too based on how she reacted when I thought I was asexual and when I realized that I was demi.

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Now you mention it, I think my dad may well be demi. Intriguing!

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I seriously doubt anyone in my family is demi. Not sure why, but from what I've heard about when my parents met and when my aunts and uncles met their spouses, I get the sense that the sexual attraction was there from the beginning. Though I don't know how many people they (my parents, aunts and uncles etc) have been sexually attracted to before meeting their spouses, so it is possible that my mom or someone else in my family is gray.

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Has anyone , who identifies themselves as asexual , demisexual or something of that sort , found themselves in a particular situation where it could seem like , there could actually be some genetic influence ? OR rather , I should ask , has anyone ever looked at a close relative or even parent and started having doubts ?

I think my mom might be asexual and her asexuality was probably the reason why my dad chaeted on her (with at least 2 other women) and they got divorced. Since then she has been single for about 20 years.

She doesn´t consider anyone hot, not even celebrities.

She is not sex-repulsed, her opinion on sex is that it is normal thing. I think she is just uninterested in it.

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I came out to my mom recently, and when I asked her experience with sexual attraction, she responded with how she never looked at guys lustfully, and how even when she was dating my dad she didn't really think about sex much, and even after they were married, she'd have to consciously think about initiating because it wasn't something she craved, and thought of it mostly in the sharing a closeness with someone, not the physical aspect. Obviously I can't label her, but I think of her somewhere on the grey side.

And yeah, she said the whole "you sound kind of like me" thing too. It was quite the...uneventful coming out as well. Because she was like - yeah that's totally normal, don't sweat it. Though I didn't get into the whole "I might not want to have sex ever" thing, whereas she is totally fine and enjoys sex, which would be the main difference between her and me I'm guessing.

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I suspect that it's partly genetic in my case. One of the first things my mom mentioned when I told her I thought I was asexual was that I might be like my uncle who didn't take an interest in dating until grad school, but I'm not sure if it was lack of attraction in his case or just didn't have time or had trouble getting to know girls or something else like that. I don't necessarily agree with her on that one because I could see him deciding that it wasn't worth having dates cutting into his D&D time or something.

We both think that my lack of libido might have to do with genetics, though. (I either don't get aroused or don't enjoy it much when I do.) It's likely I have weird hormones in some way because one of my close relatives has really irregular periods and couldn't conceive without fertility drugs. She's also said some things that sound like she might be grey A.

I have no idea about anyone on my dad's side. My dad isn't very talkative when he's not in a silly mood, and we're not close with any of his sibling's families because they all live kind of far away, and it's not the sort of thing grandparents talk about, so I just don't know.

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Hrm, Interesting.

Now that I think about it, I have an uncle on my mothers side of the family that exhibits all the traits that I've come to associate with asexuality. He also hasn't had any relationships in the over 20 years I've known him.

This is just guesswork, but I think that there is a strong possibility that asexuality is genetically linked, quite probably due to a complex set of heterozygous alleles. I would be quite interested in reading some research papers on the influence of various genetic expressions on human sexuality and their sex drives, but it seems that topic is, sadly, no go in most research circles.

Damn it - why do I have to be interested in Everything?

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I had the same talk with my mom few days ago

and the way she was answering I thought: "mom...you seem pretty much like me"

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I don't know about my own parents, but I have two unmarried uncles and I have never known them to have any girlfriends. Both are in their forties.

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And now I'm wondering why it's considered offensive to suggest that homosexuality is genetic, but no one here seems to mind considering that asexuality could be genetic.

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And now I'm wondering why it's considered offensive to suggest that homosexuality is genetic, but no one here seems to mind considering that asexuality could be genetic.

I've never heard anyone say that it was offensive to suggest that homosexuality was genetic. Where have you heard that? ( I should add that I am not trying to argue. Ive never heard this before and am genuinely curious.)

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And now I'm wondering why it's considered offensive to suggest that homosexuality is genetic, but no one here seems to mind considering that asexuality could be genetic.

I've never heard anyone say that it was offensive to suggest that homosexuality was genetic. Where have you heard that? ( I should add that I am not trying to argue. Ive never heard this before and am genuinely curious.)

I've actually encountered it quite a bit while doing a bit of research into genetics a while back, mostly from professors and researchers. Basically anything to do with genetic influences on human sexuality, excluding libido, are generally understood to be forbidden.

Look at it this way. Consider someone found a gene that controls a persons propensity towards homosexuality. Now consider the controversy, how the person who found this wonderful knowledge is going to be targeted by extreamists from both ends of the spectrum. Think about the craziness that ensues when people find out you can 'screen' for it like any other genetic marker. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. the crapstorm would be ginormous!

It's generally not good business for the researcher, or his sponsor. And let's face it - the world as it is right now is not ready for it.

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And now I'm wondering why it's considered offensive to suggest that homosexuality is genetic, but no one here seems to mind considering that asexuality could be genetic.

I've never heard anyone say that it was offensive to suggest that homosexuality was genetic. Where have you heard that? ( I should add that I am not trying to argue. Ive never heard this before and am genuinely curious.)

Look at it this way. Consider someone found a gene that controls a persons propensity towards homosexuality. Now consider the controversy, how the person who found this wonderful knowledge is going to be targeted by extremists from both ends of the spectrum. Think about the craziness that ensues when people find out you can 'screen' for it like any other genetic marker. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. the crapstorm would be ginormous!

Well, actually...

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