Oswald

Not wanting a girlfriend is an illness?

33 posts in this topic

That sucks.

But for some reason, I think the researcher was maybe talking about self confidence? That's just something I picked up.

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Whatever the researcher was actually talking about, what he said was both ignorant and offensive. People are so unaware of us that they say things that upset us without even realizing it. This just spreads the misunderstandings.

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I'm not even really aromantic and I still found that to be more than a little ignorant. Why must so many assume that just because most people want something, if you happen to be a little different than the majority you are clearly ill?

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OH, MY GOD! I'M SICK! I'M DYING! I AM AROMANTIC, AND I HAVE NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND! QUICK! SOMEBODY TAKE MY TO THE HOSPITAL!

On a serious note, what that researcher said was not only false but ignorant. There are many people through out life and history who have been single and happy with their life. That "researcher" needs to do more research himself.

And why did he specifically mention "girlfriend" only? Why not boyfriends for females?

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Honestly, I have no clue. Maybe the publication's used to catering to a straight male demographic? Based on some of the comments, it was a pretty stupid assumption. Even not based on the comments, it was a pretty stupid assumption. :\

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Most of the people who commented on the idiotic article seemed to be total schmucks as well. There's no big surprise that aromanticism is not well-known. Sadly, these kinds of attitudes are common enough, and need to be constantly fought off if one is to make an effort at visibility.

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OH, MY GOD! I'M SICK! I'M DYING! I AM AROMANTIC, AND I HAVE NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND! QUICK! SOMEBODY TAKE MY TO THE HOSPITAL!

On a serious note, what that researcher said was not only false but ignorant. There are many people through out life and history who have been single and happy with their life. That "researcher" needs to do more research himself.

And why did he specifically mention "girlfriend" only? Why not boyfriends for females?

Reminds me a bit of the House episode unfortunately. Aromantics: Lying, sick or dying.

I can probably help clarify why it's only focusing on males. The site is called 'kotaku' and otaku, in Japan, are typically characterised as overweight, obsessive, creepy, male anime fans (often equated with hikkikomori who are basically shut-ins). They're heavily marginalised and seen as quite disgusting, especially due to their fixation with anime girls (sometimes this is unfair but sometimes it seems justified - I've heard of male idol otaku masturbating before shaking the hand of their favourite idol with the besmirched hand!). Otaku is often used as a word of pride over here by anime fans, but I guess they don't get the meaning. It's highly derogatory, worse than geek.

Anyway, the focus on males is probably because of that. I mean there are female otaku too, but stereotypically they're male. And sorry if I come across as a complete japanophile - I used to be a strong anime fan and you pick up some of the terminology.

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I get the sense that the researcher was talking specifically about people who DO feel romantic attraction, but then subsequently convince themselves that they don't need to pursue a relationship because they have low self-confidence, etc, as DunceHat pointed out, even though they actually want a relationship. Repression, as it were; I understand it's very difficult for people who don't know the difference to differentiate between repression and either asexuality and/or aromanticality.

To be honest, based on that impression, I feel that the title of the article misrepresents the researcher and that it is the writer who conflated repression of romantic desires that have a basis in romantic attraction, with not experiencing romantic attraction (aromantic), as if it's all the same thing. Seems like a case of oversimplification of research results by the media to me, similar to the case of the research, in Texas, if I remember correctly, that supposedly found that watermelons contain something similar to Viagra... Sexual stimulant or something, which subsequently led to a spike in watermelon sales... Except, it turns out, if you read the actual research, the substance was mostly found in the rind of the watermelon, which most people don't actually consume.

Well, without reading the original research, it's hard to tell what exactly the researcher meant, especially since it appears there is a bit of a language barrier as well.

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Why is it such a big deal to so many people, I don't understand why people have to get into other peoples business and it is always the same conclusion, so annoying. People should just leave other people to live their life as they want to.

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The sheer volume of people with severe mental retardation commenting on the imbecile blog was mind-boggling. Their opinions are a good read for the purpose of getting angry, though.

Then I'm staying away from it. It's safer that way :)

Too late for me. I got more sad than angry though. These people are beyond hope, is all.. try looking at them from a dispassionate, sociological perspective.

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The sheer volume of people with severe mental retardation commenting on the imbecile blog was mind-boggling. Their opinions are a good read for the purpose of getting angry, though.

"Severe mental retardation"? Really? I get being angry, but that doesn't justify making an ableist comment like that.

As for that article, I like the title. It's good to know that so many heteroromantic women (and quite a few other people) are just as ill as I am!

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The sheer volume of people with severe mental retardation commenting on the imbecile blog was mind-boggling. Their opinions are a good read for the purpose of getting angry, though.

"Severe mental retardation"? Really? I get being angry, but that doesn't justify making an ableist comment like that.

Yes, really, and that's likely an understatement. Dunno if it's against the terms of use to use "foul" language, though, to descibe the reality of the blog in question. If there are kids reading this thread I should probably have used some foul language warning or something. :lol:

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Yes, really, and that's likely an understatement. Dunno if it's against the terms of use to use "foul" language, though, to descibe the reality of the blog in question. If there are kids reading this thread I should probably have used some foul language warning or something. :lol:

...Whether or not kids are reading this thread, equating offensive bigots (which I assume the people in that comment thread are - I haven't read it myself) to people with mental disabilities is not okay.

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I get the sense that the researcher was talking specifically about people who DO feel romantic attraction, but then subsequently convince themselves that they don't need to pursue a relationship because they have low self-confidence, etc, as DunceHat pointed out, even though they actually want a relationship. Repression, as it were; I understand it's very difficult for people who don't know the difference to differentiate between repression and either asexuality and/or aromanticality.

To be honest, based on that impression, I feel that the title of the article misrepresents the researcher and that it is the writer who conflated repression of romantic desires that have a basis in romantic attraction, with not experiencing romantic attraction (aromantic), as if it's all the same thing. Seems like a case of oversimplification of research results by the media to me, similar to the case of the research, in Texas, if I remember correctly, that supposedly found that watermelons contain something similar to Viagra... Sexual stimulant or something, which subsequently led to a spike in watermelon sales... Except, it turns out, if you read the actual research, the substance was mostly found in the rind of the watermelon, which most people don't actually consume.

Well, without reading the original research, it's hard to tell what exactly the researcher meant, especially since it appears there is a bit of a language barrier as well.

Thank god. Sanity, thy name is Fae!!

The writer of the article was TRYING to piss you off. Keep in mind that the researcher was not the writer of the article. That article so biased and with so little actual text from the study as to be completely unreliable.

Here's another article, or posting, which provides some context for the study: Japan Fights Declining Population; Male Shut-Ins

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Thank god. Sanity, thy name is Fae!!

My dear SM, I swear, if you praise me any more, I may develop an ego too large too sustain. :P

*hugs* :wub:

And thank you for the link, I liked that summary much better. ^_^

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And why did he specifically mention "girlfriend" only? Why not boyfriends for females?

LOL. I must be okay then, since I'm a girl.

Seriously though, it pisses me off so much when people try to pathologize other people's relationships or lack thereof. I think if you're happy doing whatever you're doing, it's fine. I'm happy being single and wish to remain that way, and I feel it's perfectly healthy for me.

But as others have said, the article is about people who want a girlfriend and feel they can't get one, not about people who legitimately do not want one.

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[looks at article, then laughs like a maniac] (THEM! AND THEIR LOGICIZED CRITICISMS!)>:lol: [stops laughing, reads other article, then gets a little pissed] Why these people treat virgins/asexuals/aromantics/antisexuals like lepers is beyond me! :angry: I don't have a girlfriend and I'm doing just fine (Though I have a crush on someone, but that's not important).

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I said it afore an ahl say it agin, "What I don't do behind closed doors is NOBODY'S business!" I need to add that to my signature.

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If you found an article saying that not wanting to drink pee was an illness would you believe that too?

Anyone can call themselves a "researcher" and even real researchers can have agendas. Why should you give a fig what any of these people say?

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Now, this brings me back to my old saying: "Love is an illness." (meaning hetero-type) I used it for shock value, when I worked with older folks. It always brought them a good chuckle together.

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And why did he specifically mention "girlfriend" only? Why not boyfriends for females?

Probably because in society, males are not allowed to be virgins. Feck, even people in their teens are doing it. Next thing y'all know, elementary school-aged kids will start getting into the whole "sex craze" our society is in.

*Head explodes in contemplation*

Ditto!

Edited by Raccoons
Edited a quote

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