BobRossRules Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 I remember in my late 20s thinking that 40 was old, and I couldn't imagine being 50. However, once you actually reach it, it's not bad at all. To me, age is relative. I feel and act young, though I admit I'm immature in many respects. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 I can't remember exactly what we were talking about, but it was over Christmas vacation and I was visiting family and we were at the table and my sister was telling us a story about a young man she had met, in his 50's, and I had to ask her when it was that 50's became young, lol. I was sorry to interrupt her story, but I just had to know when exactly in her life that had happened, lol. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 @Peterson515 I think it happens about 15 to 20 years past the age one would be discussing. When I was in my 20s, 40s was old. When I reach my 60s, 40s will be young! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Delete account please Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 On Wednesday, January 18, 2017 at 10:35 AM, Emily6748 said: Hi, I'm new, I'm 43 and I'm finding my 40's to be an absolute revelation!! I've spent much of my life struggling with depression, low self esteem and low confidence. I have overcome quite a lot of that over the past 10 years and it's like I am only now learning who I actually am. Learning that I'm highly sensitive, an introvert and now learning that I'm asexual. It's like I've spent years struggling with a jigsaw, stressing over it and feeling it will never fit. Now it's like pieces are fitting and it brings a calmness and confidence I never thought possible. Onwards with the journey.... Hi Emily6748! I'm happy you're here at AVEN and welcome to the place where we all love to play with jigsaw puzzles(figuratively)😆🍰Have some cake! 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Delete account please Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 On Saturday, January 14, 2017 at 8:40 AM, ooka said: 48 puts me solidly in this category. New here. Long time hetero-conforming & identifying as broken and incomplete. Maybe 4 years since I started to realize it wasn't me, it was the category I was trying to fit myself into. And - I just found out I Don't have a cancer. So turning point, yes. I. Am. Sufficient. Hi ooka! Welcome to AVEN and keep up the good work keeping cancer away!🌞🌼🌸🌷 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ellaj Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 I'm 41 and only in the last few years really felt okay identifing as asexual even though I have never been in a physical relationship with anyone. I always felt really bad and had low self esteem about not wanting sex, had friends assume I was a lesbian or frigid, tell me I had internalised homophobia because I would not 'come out'. It made me feel really confused about myself and contributed to a lot of depression and self destructive behaviour in my 20,s and 30's.I always found men and women astethically attractive but felt no further desire than that. Anyway I'm rambling, point being when I tuned 40 it felt like something shifted internally, maybe it's the awareness of time moving, but I just felt that hey I'm 40 and this who i am and it's okay to be me. I feel as I get older I have less energy to expend on feeling negative about myself. It's not always easy every day, but I accept that this is who I am. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 Reminder: If you live in Sacramento or Pittsburgh,PA There is a Sacramento asexual Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1177675992316938/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel Pittsburgh Ace https://www.facebook.com/groups/345258785847359/ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
starmoon Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I remember the depression and the low self-esteem days wondering why I can't connect on the same levels as the people I was friends with. The late teens, 20's, and 30's were like that for me not understanding why I feel the way I did, and no one around me could relate when I say I am not interested in them like that. I may be starting my 40's, but having the new perspective, has caused me to be out there more and know that what I feel is actually okay, and makes sense. So I say I am living my late teens, 20's and 30's again so when I am 50 and 60, I will really be in my late 20 and early 30's and I can live and love like I should have then. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
starmoon Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Just now, starmoon said: I remember the depression and the low self-esteem days wondering why I can't connect on the same levels as the people I was friends with. The late teens, 20's, and 30's were like that for me not understanding why I feel the way I did, and no one around me could relate when I say I am not interested in them like that. I may be starting my 40's, but having the new perspective, has caused me to be out there more and know that what I feel is actually okay, and makes sense. So I say I am living my late teens, 20's and 30's again so when I am 50 and 60, I will really be in my late 20 and early 30's and I can live and love like I should have then. When do you find peace and happiness in your life when you know who you are, or when you accept who your are. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CrochetFool Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Um...howdy! Just moved up from the 30s thread...still hasn't sunk in yet. @starmoon (love the name btw), personally I find it's a neverending search. Every day gets better though. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OldNews Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Welcome up @CrochetFool! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Welcome to the club @CrochetFool!!! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Muledeer Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 On 1/24/2017 at 2:56 PM, starmoon said: I remember the depression and the low self-esteem days wondering why I can't connect on the same levels as the people I was friends with. The late teens, 20's, and 30's were like that for me not understanding why I feel the way I did, and no one around me could relate when I say I am not interested in them like that. I may be starting my 40's, but having the new perspective, has caused me to be out there more and know that what I feel is actually okay, and makes sense. So I say I am living my late teens, 20's and 30's again so when I am 50 and 60, I will really be in my late 20 and early 30's and I can live and love like I should have then. Until I read your post I forgot about all the counseling sessions at the college counseling services office while I was a grad student. My depression at the time was all related to my lack of ability to "find" somebody and not meeting others (mother's) expectations when it came to (not) having a girlfriend. I finally did end up with two nice girlfriends in my late 20's, both sexual, but I never did understand why it just didn't come natural to me. Then I heard about asexuality in my mid 40's and it all started to make sense. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Finally getting around to watching Pitch Perfect parts 1 and 2, and got some good laughs, even though it might be a bit raunchy for some viewers. My sense of humor isn't the cleanest I've seen, and movies like these are sometimes a guilty pleasure. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AspieAngel Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 On 1/30/2017 at 11:24 PM, Peterson515 said: Finally getting around to watching Pitch Perfect parts 1 and 2, and got some good laughs, even though it might be a bit raunchy for some viewers. My sense of humor isn't the cleanest I've seen, and movies like these are sometimes a guilty pleasure. I hear ya, lol I have my guilty pleasure movies as well. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 2 minutes ago, AspieAngel said: I hear ya, lol I have my guilty pleasure movies as well. Watching a movie in the evening is what I do to wind down. I don't really know that many movies off the top of my head and so I will google movie lists, such as the top 100 box office hits of 2015, and then that will help me choose a few movies that might be good. The problem is though, all of the movies that are the most popular are like the Fast and Furious movies and bang, bang shoot em up blow em up, and I am just so everlastingly sick of that genre, and so I am willing to turn the other cheek when it comes to some crude humor, and more often than not I find myself laughing along, sometimes with tears in my eyes even, lol. I really enjoyed the Perfect Pitch movies. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AspieAngel Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 @Peterson515I like to laugh. I like the Ted movies and The Hangover . A teddy bear smoking a bong just cracks me up 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 1 hour ago, AspieAngel said: @Peterson515I like to laugh. I like the Ted movies and The Hangover . A teddy bear smoking a bong just cracks me up I never got much into the Ted movies, but the Hangover movies are among my favorite and I will usually watch all three of them at least once in a year, lol. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AspieAngel Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 15 minutes ago, Peterson515 said: the Hangover movies are among my favorite and I will usually watch all three of them at least once in a year Yeah I am the same with those. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 One day, I hope I can find asexual in their 40's who live in Pittsburgh. Sacramento and he or she wants to meetup. I have been on and off on this board for over 12 years. I get no where. can somone send me good luck,please. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OldNews Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 On 2/2/2017 at 11:14 PM, newgirl said: One day, I hope I can find asexual in their 40's who live in Pittsburgh. Sacramento and he or she wants to meetup. I have been on and off on this board for over 12 years. I get no where. can somone send me good luck,please. I wish you success @newgirl! Having someone to talk to face-to-face can be really valuable, so I hope you find someone. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OldNews Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 On 2/2/2017 at 11:14 PM, newgirl said: One day, I hope I can find asexual in their 40's who live in Pittsburgh. Sacramento and he or she wants to meetup. I have been on and off on this board for over 12 years. I get no where. can somone send me good luck,please. I should add that talking to the younger folks can also help. That's what I've been doing. Then someone in my age group decided to drive many hours to meet up with us. The resulting meetup had two 40-somethings and two younger aces. It was quite therapeutic! 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GeoAmy Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 On 2/2/2017 at 11:14 PM, newgirl said: One day, I hope I can find asexual in their 40's who live in Pittsburgh. Sacramento and he or she wants to meetup. I have been on and off on this board for over 12 years. I get no where. can somone send me good luck,please. Houston seems to have a fairly large Ace community and we are having regular meets. They are all in their 20's and 30's though. Normally I avoid kids younger than me as I don't have much in common with them, but with the Ace community it's different. I now have a few good friends in their 20's. These women are smart, well educated and mature so they are quite interesting to hang out with. I do understand wanting to meet aces our age, but the younger ones might surprise you as well. Good luck! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted February 5, 2017 Author Share Posted February 5, 2017 For over 12 years, Sacramento and Pittsburgh always had offline meetup problems. I'm very very frustrating because i wish i had asexual over 40 to talk too offline. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OldNews Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 17 hours ago, newgirl said: For over 12 years, Sacramento and Pittsburgh always had offline meetup problems. I'm very very frustrating because i wish i had asexual over 40 to talk too offline. Oh dear -- that's too bad. Does having some kind of online call (either voice or video) with some 40-something aces appeal? If so, I'm sure we could arrange something. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted February 6, 2017 Author Share Posted February 6, 2017 OldnFor over 12 years, Sacramento and Pittsburgh always had offline meetup problems. I'm very very frustrating because i wish i had asexual over 40 to talk too offline. Old news, I'm trying to step out of my intorvert box.I mostly talk to people online and hardly offline. It would be soooooooooo nice to have human face to face conversation with people offline. I 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OldNews Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 10 hours ago, newgirl said: I'm trying to step out of my intorvert box.I mostly talk to people online and hardly offline. It would be soooooooooo nice to have human face to face conversation with people offline. I That's fair enough. It's great that you're working on that. I hope you find a good meetup group! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Clumsy Fairy Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Sometimes I sit..... And I think....... Sometimes I just sit..... demi situal? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Sniggers 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Hello 40's, I hope that everyone is doing alright. It's Saturday night and I'm laying in bed watching Love the Coopers because it is the only movie that didn't involve everyone killing each other. Not a lot has been going on in my world. I am trying to change some behaviors and it seems like the change is causing me to pull away a bit from the social scene, which kinda sucks because I feel like I am super asocial already as it is. Also, I have been trying to see myself as the Kosmos lately. I think that it helps overcome the fear that I don't belong. Another fear is that I am going to finish school soon and feel as if I have nothing to offer a consumer oriented economy. I got contacted on OkCupid the other day by a very interesting 45 year old woman from Peru, so that got me thinking how cool. Sometimes I wish that I could swept away from this place and get to see what else is out there, but I am afraid that I should mentally prepare myself to be stuck here. I think that if I would have made fewer mistakes and went to college when I supposed to I would have made an awesome college professor, but at 43 I don't see that happening. When it comes to thinking about the future and my place in it I think that I would rather not. Feeling so rejected about thoughts of the future makes me want to stay in the moment, for probably the first time in my life. I guess that maybe that's a good thing, a blessing in disguise. Okay, I think that is all for now I hope that everyone had a good week and is enjoying their weekend. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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