stillgirly1263 Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 I have accepted myself more. I just didn't know there were that many others like me. I think people are puzzled, "why isn't she married, why did she never have kids? yaddah, yaddah". I still hate it when people look at me as if I am someone to feel sorry for. Maybe I should feel sorry for them, because I wouldn't want to trade places. I actually am relatively happy doing what I am doing as far as work and my feet hurt once in a while, but I have few other complaints. I just turned 49. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
m13 Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 Hi, I'm new and I'm 49. Very happy to have found this site! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tadkitty Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Hi, I'm new and I'm 49. Very happy to have found this site! Welcome Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lazycatlady Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 I am 42 going on 43. I started to feel the "turning point" at about 38. All of a sudden, I become "old" in the eyes of other people, even new people I met who were near my age. People treat me really differently when they hear how old I am, but I look young so I'm usually treated like a kid. I don't feel wise, but I do feel experienced which I am enormously grateful for. I don't envy 20 yr olds at all! 40 was my best birthday ever! I still feel young but know myself much better. Healthwise, kombucha and hot yoga are the world's greatest youth maintainers. Still, my eyes are drier, and I can no longer wear contact lenses, and my hair's graying all weird and assymetrically in the temples. Not cool. But all the bonuses make up for it. My favorite mid-life crisis activity is gothing out and going to goth clubs. I was quite the party girl in my youth, but now all my friends have kids and don't go out. I have had trouble meeting people to go out with cuz that's all I want to do, I could probably hang with a younger set but they are typically totally horny and seemed turned off by my age and lack of interest of what's in their pants plus I'm like totally their mom's age LOL. :aven: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lazycatlady Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 I'm 39 and look 22 and I DREAD turning 40. Most of my friends are in their 20's and we all get along great. And when my age comes up, I hate it. I hate the term 'middle age' because it's always said so nastily by some people and I associate it with aging and not being cool anymore. Hello It's good to see someone else use the 'cool' word, I thought I was the only one left on the planet who still says 'cool'. I say "cool", too. :-) I say cool, too. I know what you mean, people are shocked n horrified when I say how old I am or get ID'd. It gets...irksome...otherwise, I am blissfully in denial 8) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
anamazonruns Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I'm 45 and loving it! Spouse and I have our careers right where we want them, as well as home, family, all that. And thank the DevineI no longer care if I have a zit and only kinda care what kind of physical shape I'm in. A whole new level of self-acceptance! My new farsightedness is adorable. The slightly thinning hair less so! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rafferty Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I'm 46 in January, age doesn't mean much to me. I'm as fit as a flea, feeling physically and mentally good. Aaah, shame life is so brief....... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
seneca Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Interesting thing thing is that I'm 47 and I feel old. Someone I know thought I was in my mid 30's and refused to believe I was older until I showed ID. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AveryCase Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I just turned 40 last month. Thought I'd say hello . . . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tadkitty Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I just turned 40 last month. Thought I'd say hello . . . welcome Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Cat Lady Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 Well, my 40th birthday got postponed! ;-) Ok, well, I fell two days before my birthday and twisted my knee. Plans on Friday night and Saturday night (the Saturday was my b-day) got cancelled (Friday) and postponed (Saturday), so I've decided my entire 40th birthday has been postponed! In actual fact, neither the age nor the birthday would really bother me, but I'm not happy that I'm hanging out at home and am super-scared to go outside because I don't want to fall again. :-( I don't have a car, so I walk or take transit everywhere. I also live with my two cats, so I do do everything myself, and I don't have someone to drive me places or help with a lot of stuff (unless I ask friends who have to make a point of stopping by, and I hate asking for help. I have a few times already, but I haven't for a while, and hope I get better before I need someone else to do something for me). The day I fell, I was supposed to pick up my cat from the hospital. He'd been there (quarantined) for a week. Luckily, the vet let a friend pick him up and bring him home to me. So, I'm happy my boy came home, at least. Sorry for the complaining post. I hadn't intended for it to disintegrate quite like that... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MsE Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Have to admit, not thrilled with the 40s. I think it's because I've spent the past five years with undergrads(two at community college, three at university) and have envied their youth and sense of possibility. I seem to have lost both in spades the past few years. I feel like so much of life has passed me by. Working stupid, low-paying jobs while my friends were building careers, and being so lonely because of my asexuality in a sex-driven culture. Hoping that this portion of my life will better! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MsE Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Is there any Aven members who live in California and over 40? I live in SoCal! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Catlady! That is a rough 40th birthday! Postponed and everything (I hope your knee is feeling better). Hi MsE and welcome to this sweet corner of AVEN! Be sure to check out the 30s and 50s threads...they are both very welcoming to us 40s folks. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dandkluvr Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Hi. I am 46 and I sometimes feel much older. I had to leave a job I love a few years ago and although I like my job now it isn't the same. I work with some very young people. But finding this site and realizing I am not alone has made me feel much better about myself and that makes me happy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tadkitty Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 welcome MsE Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Cat Lady Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 Catlady! That is a rough 40th birthday! Postponed and everything (I hope your knee is feeling better). Thank you! Cake is very welcome right now. Am still working on the knee. I know I'm a wimp and baby it too much, so it takes longer to heal than it should. At physio today, they were pounding into me that I have to walk, not only that, I have to get outside and walk (am currently quite scared to walk outside with possibility of snow/ice). I can't help that I'm so scared (am extremely scared, actually). I just wish I had someone to walk with me, to help. I am so independent and I hate asking my friends to help (and already have for a few things, so don't want to keep hounding them to help me out...), but it would be nice to have someone to come with me, at least the first few times I walk outside. Going to have to brave it on my own, starting tomorrow, though. (At least for the first few times, I wanted to get out there in the daytime, not after dark.) Oh, this (walking outside) is very important because I don't have a car. I walk or take public transit (which, of course, also entails plenty of wlaking) everywhere. I haven't been back at work, yet. (And found out today, I only got paid - short term disability - for 7 days for that type of injury. What really is preventing me from going back at this point is the transportation issue. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Cat Lady Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 hmm, now to post something where I'm not complaining... :) A little about me, by way of introduction, maybe? We all know I just turned 40. My favourite thing in the world is the volunteering I do. You might guess I volunteer with cats. :) I socialize shy/scared/feral cats, so they can hopefully be adopted into a forever home. I also clean, but it's not as much fun. Cleaning every second week and socializing once a week (when I'm healthy and can walk to and from the shelter, anyway). I do miss it, since I haven't been there for a few weeks now. Another fun fact - I love cruises. I've been on five and have my sixth one planned for May. A Baltic cruise next year. Looking forward to it! This will be my second cruise with a roommate I only know online. Had a blast the first time around and I hope things are as much fun with this online friend! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 Hi. I am 46 and I sometimes feel much older. I had to leave a job I love a few years ago and although I like my job now it isn't the same. I work with some very young people. But finding this site and realizing I am not alone has made me feel much better about myself and that makes me happy. Hi! I work with younger people too...I also have a wide range of ages for clients though (hair stylist). I hope you enjoy AVEN! @Catlady, good luck doing what you know you need to do, the walking outside! We are expecting snow here today. We have been spoiled so far this winter and haven't had any yet. The cruises sound amazing!!! I bet you will love it again. How cool. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aspiecat Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Hey guys, I haven't posted in here in a very, VERY long time. How is everyone doing? Aspie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twistmas Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I'm 43, being in my 40s has never really been an issue for me. I'm well past the point where people are asking when I'm going to settle down and have kids (I always tell them that my sister sowed enough wild oats in her day for the both of us) My Mum passed away a couple of months ago and that's had me looking at things slightly differently I'll admit. About the first thing I did when I got back was to google asexuality so I could see what was around online in the way of support (and I found AVEN). It's comforting to know that other people see the world in a similar way to me, and that actually I can just be myself and not be judged for the things I don't want in my life. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tadkitty Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I'm 43, being in my 40s has never really been an issue for me. I'm well past the point where people are asking when I'm going to settle down and have kids (I always tell them that my sister sowed enough wild oats in her day for the both of us) My Mum passed away a couple of months ago and that's had me looking at things slightly differently I'll admit. About the first thing I did when I got back was to google asexuality so I could see what was around online in the way of support (and I found AVEN). It's comforting to know that other people see the world in a similar way to me, and that actually I can just be myself and not be judged for the things I don't want in my life. :) welcome Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Cat Lady Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 @Catlady, good luck doing what you know you need to do, the walking outside! We are expecting snow here today. We have been spoiled so far this winter and haven't had any yet. The cruises sound amazing!!! I bet you will love it again. How cool. :) Thank you! Jeez, I guess it's been a while since I stopped in over here! My knee is better, but still not back to normal. I have been doing physio since mid-December and I have been walking outside every day since i started physio, whatever the weather. I have "cleats", and that makes a big difference, for grip and for my confidence! My knee still isn't 100%. I still don't like inclines (hills) and am really just starting on stairs again (with a rail or my cane). Speaking of my cane, I really don't need it, except for confidence and stairs when there is no rail! We had been doing well without more snow for a while. Got a little bit over the holidays, but lately it's been warm and it's mostly melted (at least what was on the sidewalks and roads)... till today! Blam! Got a big blast today! Blah! Oh, I went back to work last week. Am taking the Handi-Bus to get there in the mornings, but I only have a few weeks on the Handi-Bus. I'm really using it to help me transition back to taking regular transit again. So... because I feel more comfortable at the end of the day, instead of in the dark mornings, after a fresh dump of snow or anything that melted the day before having refrozen overnight, I am taking regular transit home every day (along with a few-blocks walk). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Cat Lady Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Oh, and I am really looking forward to that cruise. It's back to Northern Europe (a Baltic cruise). I've only been to Europe once, ever, and that was primarily Scotland/Ireland (with France and Guernsey Island thrown in); that was a cruise, as well. Of course, the highlight of the upcoming Baltic cruise should be Russia (St. Petersberg). Am looking forward to meeting up with my online friend in "real life", as well. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MrBigglesworth Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 42 over here and living in Aus (Hi AspieCat!) I was married but separated now. Still get on really well with my wife though. She comes and visits most weekends and is happy to give the odd cuddle which is great. Turning pont for me was not turning 40 but the separation. I suddenly stopped caring as much about what people thought. As a result I'm a lot more honest and open. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tadkitty Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 42 over here and living in Aus (Hi AspieCat!) I was married but separated now. Still get on really well with my wife though. She comes and visits most weekends and is happy to give the odd cuddle which is great.Turning pont for me was not turning 40 but the separation. I suddenly stopped caring as much about what people thought. As a result I'm a lot more honest and open. welcome 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jcarlson Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Admission - I'm not in my 40's yet. I'm about to turn 39 in March so I was hoping that would put me close enough within age range to post. I have to say that when I reached the age of 35 the prospect of turning 40 horrified me. The whole "my life is half over" would run through my head like a mantra. Now that I'm almost there I have found a certain amount of peace with it. I have been through a lot in my life and have done a lot in my life. So much so that it doesn't even seem like it was my life. I just recently came to terms with being asexual which was a big relief for me. Things seem to be falling into place the older I get. I'm becoming more at peace with myself. I have just come to peace with my spirituality as well. Being a pagan who believes in Christ can make you feel very alone. I have now found that this need not be the case. Sexuality-wise I have found a home and spiritually I have found a home. The one final peice to being content will be when I can ditch the second job. I know many can relate in the current US economy - I don't know if it's the same elsewhere. Long story short, I look forward to my 40's now as a time for renewal. Let the troubles of the past remain there. No time for pettiness and all the time to enjoy what will hopefully be a beautiful life. I wish the same contentment and happiness for the rest of you as well. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Curious_1979 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I've read in numerology that each person faces cycles, and a major one comes into place late thirties into a person's forties, where there is transformation happening. I'm near 40 and I can sense a different phase of life upcoming. I'm looking to save for retirement now, and I sometimes look back on poor decisions. planetgeorgeSounds like your life is better now, how did you find another asexual person? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dinamyte Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I am new to 40 and I think I just found my first wrinkle :P Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ianigsy Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I turned 40 about 6 months ago- in my case the milestone more or less coincided with turning the corner after being diagnosed with depression the previous year so it's been an interesting time and I'm discovering my own capacity for change. Now I know that there are things I want to do, no matter how big or small, I can start working towards them- in hindsight the depression had been nibbling away at me for most if not all of my adult life and held me back from so many things- but it's still weird finding my tastes changing and being comfortable with it! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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