blondie12 Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 You can control your own destiny... Oh, what a wonderful universe you live in - how do I join it? :) In my universe, my lifestyle choices affect the risk of various good and nasty things happening to me, but this in no way resembles 'controlling my destiny'. This sucks. :( I'm sorry to hear that. I just try to live each day the best way I know how. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not. I just try not to let it control the person that I am. I hope it gets better for you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 Blonde12, Friend Without Benefits and Apop, I hope you 3 can come to the Los Angeles meetup on Aug 25th Sat 6pm. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grayd Ace Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I'm 39 and look 22 and I DREAD turning 40. Most of my friends are in their 20's and we all get along great. And when my age comes up, I hate it. I hate the term 'middle age' because it's always said so nastily by some people and I associate it with aging and not being cool anymore. :( Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beachwalker Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I'm 39 and look 22 and I DREAD turning 40. Most of my friends are in their 20's and we all get along great. And when my age comes up, I hate it. I hate the term 'middle age' because it's always said so nastily by some people and I associate it with aging and not being cool anymore. :( Hello It's good to see someone else use the 'cool' word, I thought I was the only one left on the planet who still says 'cool'. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Grey Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 I'm now officially 40! Hi! I just joined the boards (intro here: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/76788-older-but-just-figuring-things-out/). I'm 39, but am just a month and a half away from the big 4-0, so may as well jump into this age group! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beachwalker Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I'm now officially 40! Hi! I just joined the boards (intro here: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/76788-older-but-just-figuring-things-out/). I'm 39, but am just a month and a half away from the big 4-0, so may as well jump into this age group! Hope you had a good birthday did you do anything special? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Grey Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Hope you had a good birthday did you do anything special? Thanks! I haven't done anything big yet. I spent the evening before with my family (mother and brothers). I'm having a party this coming weekend--it's quite a bit later as it's a joint party with a friend who is also turning 40 tomorrow. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dormouse Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 In the early 40's, I felt no different than the 30's. By 45, vision started going. By 48, I've had 3 surgeries to fix joint problems that I allowed to exist in my 20's & 30's. I still haven't found my perfect career nor married nor had kids. I am independent though and love living alone with my pets. :) I must say, now that I'm in my late 40's, I'm a bit nervous about the 50's. :P Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 I love being in my early 40's but I hate not finding my calling and passion in life. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Eggs Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 I'm gradualy coming to terms with being in my 40s. It's definitely been a time of many adjustments and realising my own mortality. Had the obligatory crisis and now I'm well, ok. Better now than i was at the start. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Hello members, guests, and anonymous users. Mr. LG here. I haven't been posting much lately, so...back into the swing of things. :) Glad you are back. 8) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Eggs Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Hello members, guests, and anonymous users. Mr. LG here. I haven't been posting much lately, so...back into the swing of things. :) Nice to meet you Mr LG. I'm Eggs and I'm kind of new here :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Twosixteen Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 I've felt alienated pretty much all of my life too - maybe longer. I actually quite like it. Alienated people can observe without feeling the need to participate. And this just popped into my head - a quiz for 40-somethings. Identify this quotation: 'My music's all about urban alienation ... apparently' "You just called me a b@$t@rd, didn't you?" ;) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Cat Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 I am in my early 40's, but I never think much about the age thing. I've had a lot of major health problems (10 surgeries in 3 years), and am no longer able to work, so I feel a lot older, but its because of my health, not the magic number attributed to my age. I am fortunate to look younger than my age, and since most of my friends are 10+ years older than I, I am frequently referred to as a kid. It doesn't help that I live with my mother -- I think that makes me seem younger to others as well. I think the only "enlightenment" I have achieved in my forties is finding AVEN. I struggled for years with my sexual identity, and I am so relieved to have finally found it. No more feeling like the odd man out -- there are others like me! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janieg Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 The guilt and feeling of inadequacies are terrible. I've been trying to like sex for 30 years. I'm widowed and just remarried again for about a year and here I go again. Thought it would be different this time. Wish I heard of asexuality before I ruined another mans life. What do I do? I'm afraid to tell him and my children love him. I feel guilty being here!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beachwalker Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 The guilt and feeling of inadequacies are terrible. I've been trying to like sex for 30 years. I'm widowed and just remarried again for about a year and here I go again. Thought it would be different this time. Wish I heard of asexuality before I ruined another mans life. What do I do? I'm afraid to tell him and my children love him. I feel guilty being here!! Hi Janieg and welcome to Aven A sexual mismatch doesn't necessarily mean you still can't have a successful happy relationship, there are many stories of just such relationships here. Have a look around and make yourself at home, and I hope things work out well for you and your family. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful & Happy Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I'm now officially 40! Hi! I just joined the boards (intro here: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/76788-older-but-just-figuring-things-out/). I'm 39, but am just a month and a half away from the big 4-0, so may as well jump into this age group! Happy B'day. . I just turned 49. I cannot wait until I hit 50. Then I will feel like I have accomplished something. :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I turned 40 this year and, coincidentally, just happened to get my first pair of reading glasses a few months later. I still get hit on by girls in their early 20s when I'm by the pool though. I'm not sure if that makes me feel older or younger. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mole Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Hi All, I didn't notice that I had reached forty until I was forty four (slow on the uptake as usual). Since then I haven't noticed much slowing down but then I never was a first to the front young tiger type, I have always been more of a bagpuss type (for the record I am a dog person but don't mind fussing my neighbours cats when they are in my garden). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
auntie_em Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hi, I'm new here and happy to find the group. I am 41 and content with it. The best thing is I have reached a point in my life where I don't have to pretend to like things I don't. I still struggle with sexuality issues, which I am still pretty much in the closet about. I just don't date but I would like to change that. A companion would be nice, now that I know there are other people like me. But in other areas, I get to just be me! It's great. I never liked loud clubs and now, I don't have to go to them. I get to like the books I like to read, the music I love to listen to (celtic and renaissance)...even the kind of food I like (not spicey.) I have been assured I am still cool (in a cool-nerd kind of way) and I get along with people of all ages. If I had known how much I would enjoy my 40's, I would've done it sooner. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blondie12 Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 I'm now I'm my late 40s staring down the barrel of 50. I've been married more than once and now I'm on my own. I just wonder if anyone in their 40s would be satisfied finding companionship without all the stressful relationship thing. I would enjoy the company of someone in a roommate situation, that can have the illusion of being a couple without having to be a couple. Well even if it doesn't come true by the time I'm 50, I can dream can't I? Now that Im free, I can be who I was truly meant to be. Thanks to Aven and all the other asexual sites! You are all the greatest people, thanks! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tengu Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I'm 43 (wait, let me check... crap, I ran out of fingers and toes, I think I'm 43...) and I just found this place. Glad to see I'm not the only person here in this fine age range. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mole Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 (wait, let me check... crap, I ran out of fingers and toes, I think I'm 43...) Hi Tengu, I find teeth useful when fingers and toes aren't enough, for really big numbers I have a spare set :-) I never expected to think like that when I was younger. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ghizwiz Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I just wonder if anyone in their 40s would be satisfied finding companionship without all the stressful relationship thing. I would enjoy the company of someone in a roommate situation, that can have the illusion of being a couple without having to be a couple. That is exactly the kind of relationship I dream about too. Well, since there are at least two of us thinking this way, there has to be others! I will remain positive. Btw I'm 46. Turning 40 was stressful only because I was in financial crisis & unsure of being able to hold on to my house. The good news is I have a great job again & it looks like I will be able to pay off my house shortly after turning 50 - so I may be one of the few people who actually looks forward to turning 50! :) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
frakas Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 41 years old here. I've never felt more confident and capable in my life. It's a great age to reach. I finally have the wisdom to harness my reckless enthusiasm. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WarmedByTheSun Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Life is more liberating the older you are. You get to an age when you don't care what you think, say or do. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Cat Lady Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 I'm 39 and look 22 and I DREAD turning 40. Most of my friends are in their 20's and we all get along great. And when my age comes up, I hate it. I hate the term 'middle age' because it's always said so nastily by some people and I associate it with aging and not being cool anymore. Hello It's good to see someone else use the 'cool' word, I thought I was the only one left on the planet who still says 'cool'. I say "cool", too. :-) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Cat Lady Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 So, hi! I will be 40 in just under 2 weeks, so I thought I'd pop over here and check out the thread. Not too worried about the number. I might "freak out" for about a minute or so, but then that should be the end of it! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catasa Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 I'll be in my 40's in 6 months. Do that count? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ragdollphysics Posted November 25, 2012 Share Posted November 25, 2012 Hi all, I'm 40 something, enjoying my age and the confidence it brings, happy as can be discovering I'm asexual :) I found it hard but I came out last week, making a total of a half-dozen ppl who now know. I may have done it for selfish reasons but everyone was very supportive indeed. :) /cheery wave Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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