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@newgirl, and family. Sorry to hear of your bereavement, massive *Huggles *

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@newgirl Sorry for your loss.  It's definitely hard losing a beloved pet as they are part of the family.  I've been there a few times myself.

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IvoryStardust

Hi!  

 

Sorry for your loss, newgirl. Losing a beloved pet is always such a blow.

 

How is everyone? 43 here, in Wichita,KS. Been on here off and on over the last several years, just now coming back and hoping to find some lovely ace people to get to know. ^_^

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@newgirl Sorry for your loss. I have an almost 19 year old rat terrier and it will be really hard on me when she goes. She went through some horrible trauma with me and my wife a couple years back and she still feels like a link to how things used to be before then. I'm an animal person. My best friend's cat, who doesn't even go near him much at all and 'doesn't like anybody' curled up into a ball in my lap when I went to visit him last. My wife has a pet goat that she walks on a leash. All animals, human or otherwise, should be treated with love and respect.

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After Simba the Pug death and my  chihuahua sore neck issue ,I'm ANGRY  about one thing veterinary care  is expensive , no regulation..and things need to change.  If humans need affordable  health care ,animals need  the same affordable health insurances too

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@newgirl I completely agree. The vet around here doesn't do payment plans for some reason, so we have to have the full amount for things or we can't get what we need done. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm sooooooooooooo nervous 

 

Jan 17th, I have cataract & detached retinal surgery on my right eye.

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6 minutes ago, newgirl said:

I'm sooooooooooooo nervous 

 

Jan 17th, I have cataract & detached retinal surgery on my right eye.

Good luck!

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@newgirl, hope the surgery is trouble free :cake::cake:

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  • 2 weeks later...
SweetAndSassy

I am 45, and for me the big change has been that I recently realized that I do not want to be alone anymore.  I never married, and have no kids, and the last time I dated was a few presidents ago.  So a few months ago I decided I should try dating again.  I joined a couple of online dating sites and quickly learned that the men I was communicating with all automatically assumed and expected that I was sexually active given my age.  This was very surprising to say the least, but it did prompt some serious soul searching on my part, which helped me acknowledge that I am ace.  Since many of you following this thread are within the same age range, you know that being asexual was something that was not really talked about back when we were teenagers still trying to fit in, so I never really gave much thought to the fact that sex was just not interesting to me.  I eventually stopped dating because I figured that the older I got, the more likely it would be that the relationship would have to become sexual at some point.  And being familiar with the saying "don't knock it til you try it", yes I did try it, and it just helped to prove that sex is not for me.  So back to the present, after doing some research I learned that I was not alone, that what I was feeling was normal and it has a name, asexuality.  So am I being unrealistic in thinking that I may actually find my soulmate this time around because I understand myself better now?

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On 1/16/2018 at 11:19 PM, newgirl said:

I'm sooooooooooooo nervous 

 

Jan 17th, I have cataract & detached retinal surgery on my right eye.

I don't think I've seen you around since this, so I'm wondering how it went? I hope you are doing well!

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@SweetAndSassy, you've a much greater chance of finding a soul mate now you're happy with your identity.

 

At least you know to avoid Iwantabunkup.com and all the other dating sites which seem to be people wanting casual sex and nothing else :P

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Welcome @SweetAndSassy. I also agree with @Skycaptain here. It can make a big difference to be accepting of your own feelings and identity. I wasn't looking for a relationship when I found my wife online. I had actually just gotten out of a bad online relationship, but we've been happily married for 10 years now. With confidence, people can accomplish almost anything.

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SweetAndSassy

Thank you @Skycaptain, @Spotastic, and @faraday☘ for your replies and for making me feel welcome.  I have never had much of an online presence, but now that I have found a community where I feel I belong, I will be visiting more frequently.  To @Spotastic, I think that is great that you have been happily married for 10 years.  Now I know that this is a possibility for me.  

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On 1/26/2018 at 10:35 PM, SweetAndSassy said:

I am 45, and for me the big change has been that I recently realized that I do not want to be alone anymore.  I never married, and have no kids, and the last time I dated was a few presidents ago.  So a few months ago I decided I should try dating again.  I joined a couple of online dating sites and quickly learned that the men I was communicating with all automatically assumed and expected that I was sexually active given my age.  This was very surprising to say the least, but it did prompt some serious soul searching on my part, which helped me acknowledge that I am ace.  Since many of you following this thread are within the same age range, you know that being asexual was something that was not really talked about back when we were teenagers still trying to fit in, so I never really gave much thought to the fact that sex was just not interesting to me.  I eventually stopped dating because I figured that the older I got, the more likely it would be that the relationship would have to become sexual at some point.  And being familiar with the saying "don't knock it til you try it", yes I did try it, and it just helped to prove that sex is not for me.  So back to the present, after doing some research I learned that I was not alone, that what I was feeling was normal and it has a name, asexuality.  So am I being unrealistic in thinking that I may actually find my soulmate this time around because I understand myself better now?

I don't think you're being unrealistic at all. I think knowing yourself better will help you find the right person. :D Sending out good vibes to yoU!

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23 hours ago, SweetAndSassy said:

Thank you @Skycaptain, @Spotastic, and @faraday☘ for your replies and for making me feel welcome.  I have never had much of an online presence, but now that I have found a community where I feel I belong, I will be visiting more frequently.  To @Spotastic, I think that is great that you have been happily married for 10 years.  Now I know that this is a possibility for me.  

I've been married for 24 years to a guy who is learning with me... just thought I was "broken" in the sex department; finding the asexual title/community within the last couple months has made me feel so much better. I never was into sex, tried to fake it for so long! It's so much easier to be your real self. whew! 

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Temporary Back everybody

 

I had my cataract & detach retina surgery on Jan 17 .  Good news,cataract is gone and 95% of the bubble has reattach my right eye retina.  Bad news ,I have to have a 2nd surgery Feb 7th to reattach the  5% of the retina that didn't attach to the bubble. Once i have this 2nd surgery,   me and the doctor won't know the final outcome  of my vision.

 

 

 @SweetAndSassy I will be turning 48 years old in 2018. I never married, had kids, didn't find out i was asexual until my early  30's and i had only 1 boyfriend in my life late 30's and  40's. When i was  a teenager in the 1980's, I wish i knew i was asexual but i don't think my dating life would have changed  in the 1980's and 1990's.   Asexual over 40, we didn't have social media in our teenage  years and 20's.  In the 80's and 90's  we had only snail mail or physically going to social events. Our dating pool was small without the  internet and limited WITH   the internet now. Because I'm also an introvert, I have a hard time meeting new  people.

 

 

 

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13 minutes ago, Spotastic said:

Glad to see things went mostly well @newgirl.  I hope the second surgery goes ok!

Seconding this! Best wishes!

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Lifeisamazing

Hi All, I have been reading'this topic for a while now. I too am 48 (soon turning 49) and have been single for some time. I only discovered the term asexual in my early 40s which has been helpful. Much like @SweetAndSassy and @newgirl I have never married and I also never wanted children. I have been very happy with life and survive well as a loner - it suits my nature. I love to travel and am working my way through amazing destinations. This year was a trip to Scandinavia - I loved it. Hope to dip in a bit more often to this group.

if anyone wants a slightly bizarre movie recommendation, try The Lobster. It is such an interesting take on society's acceptance of couples over singles and while set in the future, it has relevance to the now. A little bit dark in places, but I found it rather funny.

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