2 ACE's In A Relationship..?

[skmetoff]

How does being an Ace in a relationship with another Ace differ from just having a best friend?

[maven]

How does being an Ace in a relationship with another Ace differ from just having a best friend?

Romantic attraction. Check this thread out: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/69053-platonic-love-vs-romantic-love/

[*Orion*]

I'm a male Ace in a relationship with a female Ace and I'm finding out that just because two people share a sexuality and many hobbies it doesn't mean they're compatible.

I've felt happier in sexual relationships and on my own than I do right now.

I think part of the problem is that asexuality is a little "muddier" than hetrosexuality, or at least from my experience.

For example, my girlfriend has mentioned that she finds Robert Downey Jr. and Jake Gyllenhaal attractive, she's also attracted to animated characters like Drake from Uncharted and she reads male slash fiction. Knowing this fills me with a strange mix of jealousy and wondering if she really is asexual.

What I'm trying to say is that two Aces together isn't a magic recipe for a perfect relationship.

[MadRat]

What I'm trying to say is that two Aces together isn't a magic recipe for a perfect relationship.

I agree. Compatible orientation is important thing, but there are many other things which are necessary for good relationship.

[cosmiklove]

I think being able to be on the same platform as someone would be ideal (with them understand where you're coming, regardless of whatever orientation that you are) but sometimes personalities don't click, even when it seems like they would. For myself, I wouldn't mind being with someone who is not asexual if they respected and understood my boundaries. I think a lot of it is understanding where you're coming from, and vice-versa.

[Capslock Cadet]

I think being able to be on the same platform as someone would be ideal (with them understand where you're coming, regardless of whatever orientation that you are) but sometimes personalities don't click, even when it seems like they would. For myself, I wouldn't mind being with someone who is not asexual if they respected and understood my boundaries. I think a lot of it is understanding where you're coming from, and vice-versa.

This pretty much sums-up my thoughts as well.

[Aspiecat]

I have never been in relationships with an ace before (I'm ace myself). To be honest... I have never even met an asexual person here

Anyways, as I imagine ace relationship, it would probably be based on emotional bond. However, with my pessimistic point of view, I don't believe that ace can feel "love" since it's a part of reproduction process .

Hold the phone!

Asexuals cannot feel "love"?

Oh no no no....not correct.

I love my son beyond belief and I'm asexual. However, if you're talking about committed, "relationship" type love, then I still disagree with you on that point. Aces are capable of committed love, just as sexuals are.

[PSUtatiana]

I have a question for you guys. If all demisexual means is that you're not sexual until you have an emotional connection, how would being in a relationship with a demi be any different than dating a sexual?

You run the risk that even if the emotional connection is formed, the sexual attraction might still not follow. =/

And because being asexual is different than being demisexual. Demis actually are physically attracted to someone when they're emotionally attracted to someone. An ace never experiences physical attraction.

I have never been in relationships with an ace before (I'm ace myself). To be honest... I have never even met an asexual person here

Anyways, as I imagine ace relationship, it would probably be based on emotional bond. However, with my pessimistic point of view, I don't believe that ace can feel "love" since it's a part of reproduction process .

Hold the phone!

Asexuals cannot feel "love"?

Oh no no no....not correct.

I love my son beyond belief and I'm asexual. However, if you're talking about committed, "relationship" type love, then I still disagree with you on that point. Aces are capable of committed love, just as sexuals are.

I agree aspie. I'm SUCH a loving person and I'm asexual. I'm working on a really interesting relationship right now, and I think it would work out perfectly if we started one. I don't agree with the above "love" comment. And furthermore, being asexual has nothing to do with the reproduction process!

I'm a male Ace in a relationship with a female Ace and I'm finding out that just because two people share a sexuality and many hobbies it doesn't mean they're compatible.

I've felt happier in sexual relationships and on my own than I do right now.

I think part of the problem is that asexuality is a little "muddier" than hetrosexuality, or at least from my experience.

For example, my girlfriend has mentioned that she finds Robert Downey Jr. and Jake Gyllenhaal attractive, she's also attracted to animated characters like Drake from Uncharted and she reads male slash fiction. Knowing this fills me with a strange mix of jealousy and wondering if she really is asexual.

What I'm trying to say is that two Aces together isn't a magic recipe for a perfect relationship.

I don't think any of us were under the impression that it would be a perfect relationship. I'm gonna speak for myself and say that it would be easier.

What do you mean by "muddier?"

[PSUtatiana]

Mine was a happy accident and a long, weird romance. Literally. It was 3 years before we married and that's after knowing each other for several more. Things just clicked.

I think with 2 aces, compatibility becomes more important. Not that sexual relationships don't require it, but a sexual relationship for others helps to build a stronger bond based on trust. When sex isn't involved, trust and bonding have to be built on something else. For us, it was exposing our inner most thoughts and not being afraid to bare our bodies. Even though sex doesn't really cross our minds, we still save our naked selves (mind and body) for each other. It's a different sort of intimacy that took a lot of work on both parts, especially the mental part. I've known people that withheld info from their lovers and wonder why it felt so empty. If you can't trust someone with your soft-underside, what have you got?

But that's not all. We've continued building. Each other, that is. We've exposed ourselves, we know each others weak points and we try to help cover those spots to make us stronger. He gives me confidence, I give him purpose. He calms me down, I give him nudges. It's still the give and take of a traditional relationship, but we focus on the heart and mind rather than the body. Though ego boosts in the looks department are certainly welcome. Especially in the form of friendly teasing and flirting. What's important is that we let each other know that we'll always be there. It's not perfect, but it works.

Don't know how much that helps, but I just wanted to offer something to think about. It's also nice being single. Before my hubby, I dated others, but I wasn't interested in sex so I was just as content spending my time alone or with friends. I probably feel more alone now when my hubby's away than I did when I was single, simply because I miss him. That, and I was busy with work at the time.

In any case, it is possible, it'll just take more time unless you're lucky.

You (guys) sound more demisexual than anything. An asexual isn't physically attracted to anybody, therefore, if they have sex with someone it's just blah. Demis are physically attracted to people that they are emotionally connected with, from what I can understand. I used to be demi, now I'm just ace. Am I right or am I wrong? (AKA anybody that may know demis better than me?)