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What Qualities Attract You To A Person?


PineWolf

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WhenSummersGone

In terms of looks: It's a mix of Aesthetic Attraction (what I consider to be attractive, not society), Romantic Attraction and Sensual Attraction. If I can picture myself having a relationship with someone, cuddling and stuff, then I am attracted to that person. Also passionate kisses.

In terms of personality: They would have to be opened-minded, funny, serious when they need/should be, understanding, very respectful, have a few things in common like music and ideas of how a relationship should be.

I don't think I have a type though. It's more an overall look or vibe I get from someone rather than just one thing.

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  • 2 months later...

So... :blush:

Someone who is really open-minded is the most important for me. And someone with who I could talk about paranormal things, like extraterrestrials, ghosts, the afterlife, etc for hours. It would be impossible for me to live with a skeptic person.

He should be sweet too. And I would prefer him to laugh easily, because I am the kind of person who laughs to even really lame jokes and I don't want to be the only one laughing! I would like him to love video games too.

Physically...

I LOVE freckles. I think they make anyone much cuter! And I would like him to be quite tall (not a problem, knowing I am very small), so I can rest my cheek against his chest while I hug him.

Oh, and it would be perfect if he has a sweet smile!

(even though all the guys I had a crush on in real life were rather expressionless and only a little taller than me)

And I feel much more comfortable with Asian people. I don't really understand why, but I have always got along really well with them (most of the best friends I have ever had are Asian, and I didn't know some of them were at first because I met them on the internet), and I am obsessed with Asian countries since I am 3. Plus, I realized very recently it feels weird when I imagine myself in a relationship with a Caucasian person but not an Asian one. (I am Caucasian)

But I had some crushes on Caucasian people so yeah.

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Aesthetics: Pale, tall, gaunt

Personality: Cold, confident, intelligent, understanding

Or a mash up of Ivan (The Brothers Karamazov) and Nikolai (Demons,) for personality. But physically like Pyotr (Demons.)

Someone messed up on a similar ideological level as myself. xp

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Here's my list:

1. Enjoy the sciences.

2. Enjoy music, and not the type meant for dancing.

3. Politically liberal and socially conservative.

4. Prefer conversation over parties.

5. Like cleanliness and order.

6. Prefer friends over family.

7. Prefer to be alone.

8. Overachievers

9. Are doing something important in their life, such as studying or working.

10. Love animals, especially cats.

Basically, I described myself in this list, so I guess that I could say that in any situation and for any relationship (friendship, study buddy, sexual partner, etc.), I am attracted to people exactly like me.

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My list is:

1) Loves animals. All animals. Not just "I had a dog when I was a kid" but truly loves them, wants to volunteer at shelters kind of loves them.

2) Enjoys reading. I am a book worm.

3) Preferably is a vegetarian/vegan, though I am ok with meat eating if they don't expect me to cook it for them.

4) Doesn't mind if I am shy and prefer to stay home and cuddle instead of party

5) Doesn't do the drugs/smoking/drinking thing. Makes me uncomfortable to be around a lot of things. Prefer to not have to put up with them at home.

I'm not that picky, but a little picky.

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DracoBorealis

Personality, personality, personality! Open-mindedness, not being shallow, being civilized -that is, one that you can actually have a conversation with, one who listens to you and cares about what you have to say, having a good heart, having a sense of humor, not being sex-crazed, having similar interests...

Looks and age I do not care about.

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Creativity, boldness, and someone who's strong where I'm weak. For example, I'm Arachnophobic, so someone who crushes spiders like they're nothing is awesome to me.

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Honesty, empathy, open-mindedness, and a sense of humour. Those would be the main four traits.

Applicants apply within. ;)

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I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction, but as far as a long term best friend would go, I'd want someone who puts at least some effort into maintaining his or her appearance, and is more the quiet type who won't mind playing second fiddle to me more often than not. Must love musicals, value good friends in the long-term, and keep a cool head and still make time for me should he or she acquire any significant others during the duration of our friendship. Someone kind, compassionate, and patient would probably be ideal for my personality.

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The Bearded One

Intelligent, Athletic, Slender, Tall, Blonde

But that's just the packaging. The attraction didn't start until after I knew them.

Actual friends and lovers have been none, some, or all of these things. I didn't select them based on these qualities. What really mattered is that they liked to talk with (not to) me, they liked me to touch them (I am very "touchy" with people I feel close to), and they were willing to put up with me for awhile. All of the friends drifted away, and all of the lovers broke up with me. :) I have always hoped we would stay close until one of us died (although I didn't tell most of them that :) ). I wish them all well.

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Sunshine&Foxes

It's sort of hard to narrow it down, like "this is what I like and nothing else", because I'm usually attracted to a person as a whole and not because they fulfill certain criteria...but if I had to pick just basic things...

Physically, I don't care too much. Though it would be nice to be with someone taller than myself for once!!! And I'm a total sucker for blue eyes.

Honesty. Intelligence. Easygoing, a sense of humor, being open-minded. Personality is pretty much everything.

Um, and I guess it would be nice if they were veg/vegan too, though that is not a deal breaker.

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Trava u doma

1. Russians :3

And, more seriously:

1. Intelligence. And the language they use to express themselves.

2. Being a good person. To other people and to animals. Being compassionate. Nuff' said.

3. Introversion.

4. ...Sadness.

That may be strange, I guess. But it's just... When I see sad people I immediately want to be their friend. I tend to like insecure people better, too. I just... want to make them happier and feel better about themselves and everything... I don't know.

Those would be the most important for me, I guess.

As for looks, they don't matter to me at all, because even though I'm somewhat grayromantic (WTFromantic?), I'm not looking for anything even remotely romantic-ish. FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS. But if I had to point to something, then I guess: skinny, pale, dark-haired, and hair at least at shoulder-length? For both, men and women, honestly! ^_^ (Rozz Williams, anyone?)

But as I said, Looks don't matter. Except one thing... that I won't write, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

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paperfacesonparade

Blue eyes and brown hair, looks good in a suit, for men at least. Strangely enough, I don't have preferences for the woman-type.

But I really like it when people can put up with my eccentricity and play off of it to create a nice balance in a friendship, that's the key.

+interests in news of all sorts

+sense of humor

+addictive personality

+logical

+reserved

not much else. I don't really go looking for people with those traits anyway. That bit doesn't make sense to me. They come to me and if we like each other as friends and they happen to have those traits, that's that.

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Socially, none because I'm incapable of returning social needs and wants. If there has to be one, first of all they have to be literal animals because humans aren't really interesting for me.

Aesthentically, round tits and ass with good healthy looking body.

That is all.

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  • 5 months later...

Bumping this up as this thread, more than any other, holds a special place in the part of my brain that I call my 'emotional heart'. I am happy to say that eight months after meeting my SO in AVEN via this Qualities thread, he and talk every day online and will be meeting in just under two months, for the first time.

So...let's get this thread going again. It's fascinating to know that perhaps someone else here in AVEN could meet their future partner.

Aspie

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Arctic_Revenge

Perhaps most evidently, I like introverted personalities. Intelligence and self-awareness are important qualities to me. A strong inclination toward romance is necessary if I were to ever enter a relationship. I'd hope to have some related interests, but which specific ones are unimportant. As far as physical qualities are concerned, I'm not really picky. I really love long, dark hair though. Someone as skinny as me would be ideal. Finally, for whatever reason, I am only attracted to Caucasians (no other ethnicity in the least).

I have no reasoning behind any of this; it's just what I am naturally attracted to in a female. I still feel bad after putting all of that in words.

It is so unfair that you aren't single. (Never been brave enough to say that to a guy before O_O)

I check off almost all of your aesthetic and personality musts: Skinny, loooooong hair, pale Caucasian... introverted, majorly self aware, highly romantic asexual.

If that's you in your picture, you meet most of my aesthetic musts ( I think)... It would be completely unfair if you had the matching personality!! Do you have a romantic-ace brother? :blink: lmao

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I guess I like more introverted personalities, but I wouldn't mind an extrovert who wouldn't try and force me to do things that I'm uncomfortable with (big parties, crowded spaces, etc). Obviously a romantic ace would be preferable to a sexual person, particularly if I'm not forced to kiss, or anything like that, but if I found a sexual person who was willing to go without those things, I would be a very lucky individual! Also, an inclination towards romance is great, and by that I mean, someone who would enjoy simply spending time together, sharing what's on our minds, while holding hands and just being with each other. Anything really more "serious" than that freaks me out/doesn't feel quite right, but that would be fantastic.

Hmmm...as for aesthetic qualities, I prefer women who are my size or taller/bigger (I'm average-sized for a girl, but short for a guy, and petite girls just aren't my thing, usually), ethnicity doesn't matter too much (I've mostly been attracted to Caucasians/ethnic Jews or Asians, but that's not a hard-and-fast rule), but I'm a sucker for that "artsy" "unconventional" type, maybe with dyed hair, or a few piercings/tattoos (I don't have them myself, but find them attractive on other people). Also, I'm highly attracted to girls who sing (both of my exes have been singers, as have many, if not most of my unrequited crushes/squishes). In fact, I've mentioned it before, but one of my biggest romantic fantasies is singing a duet with my romantic interest.

I do have one slightly weird romantic fantasy, though. I'd be highly attracted to a girl who cries when upset/isn't afraid to cry around people. One of my most intense romantic fantasies (so intense that I mistook it for a sexual fetish for a few years upon discovering it) is being with an attractive, crying girl, and giving her a tissue, a hug, and someone to talk/vent to.

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Kitty Spoon Train

The older I get the more broad my tastes are becoming...

For example: I'm insanely introverted, and I used to think that only other introverts can be good for me, but then I realised (through some female friends who might have been good matches for me if they weren't spoken for already) that it doesn't necessarily matter. Some extroverts can be very introvert-friendly and don't insist on having to do everything together with a partner.

Aesthetically: it's all over the shop. I do have certain triggers - such as straight black hair, or straight smooth hair in general, but it's not a hard and fast rule. But even more to the point, secondary aesthetic attraction can override pretty much anything with me. :P

To get to the guts of it: emotional and intellectual compatibility are probably the most important things for me, combined with shared values. For example: not being a bigot, racist, fascist, or hardcore *ist of just about any stripe really - even on issues that I can theoretically agree with. Passion is good, but fundamentalism goes too far.

About the only hard and fast dealbreaker (for anything like becoming a partner-type of sorts with me that is) is that they have to be poly-friendly. I don't do exclusivity any more, and it's not something I have the energy to try to negotiate with someone who doesn't get it. But I guess this comes under the above "shared values" really. :D

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Creative Maniac

For me, I have no idea of how I'm attracted to people aesthetically, I just kind of fall for them...

Personality wise, they should be a demanding person that's not too demanding... I want a weak person in terms of how sporty they are, but strong with emotions and getting to the point. Someone who's willing to cry and get angry with me, but willing to let me help them. I also like those that share similar interests like music, Asian culture (><), and learning random facts... Oh yeah, I guess they have to be smart too.

XD I must have such high standards for personality or something. I'm such a confusing person sometimes.

EDIT: I want a selfish person who's not too selfish either, but just willing to TAKE whatever I give... Okay that's it for now, I swear.

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Physically, they gotta be tall. I've always thought I was freakishly tall (I'm 5'7" as a girl) and so somewhere along those lines I just grew to prefer guys who were over six feet.

Beyond that, it's hard to describe. I love intelligence and extreme talent can make me weak in the knees. However, I've always found myself just drawn to certain people's personalities. It sounds odd, but if I feel drawn to someone, I find myself enamored (emotionally) with them and their traits.

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Oh dear… I guess I’ll describe my “ideal” (and nonexistent) partner.

I want someone who doesn’t do drugs or smoke, and doesn’t drink a lot. Someone who has an appreciation for a variety of music, who can actually spell out words instead of using “text talk” (how r u). A person who is interested in reading and can get through those many awkward moments that would inevitably occur, and can deal with someone as troubled as me. They should be able to stand up for themselves, and others, and be tolerant and non-judgmental. Someone who is bluntly honest (mandatory), who understands and appreciates the meaning of “alone time,” and would be as possessive of me as I would be of them.

They’d need to not be religious and be monogamous (absolutely mandatory).

Hmm… What else… Well, I’d want someone who is kind, who’d talk to me out of genuine interest and not just because they’re a social butterfly. A person with high moral standards (a conscience is needed!), and who won’t trust others automatically.

I don’t really have any aesthetic ideals. I’d prefer to have some aesthetic attraction, but they wouldn’t have to be drop-dead gorgeous (especially since I don’t fall on the high end of the beauty scale myself). Personality matters more to me.

...And everything I just typed is, of course, just an ideal. I know very well that I will never, in my life, find someone like this. And of course, I'm quite young and inexperienced. Though, I doubt that I will ever get experience.

And this is why I like reading more than people. :D

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Flour Confessor

In the (rare) event I find myself with a crush, it's almost always been on a girl that's really upbeat. A positive, kind, halfway funny personality is immediately attractive to me. I also like girls that have jobs and interests and are not clingy.

I think I'm also more into confidently plain Janes than girls that are effortlessly beautiful. Good for you if you're effortlessly beautiful, but I think it's a lot more impressive when someone knows she isn't a living specimen of physical human perfection and is totally okay with that. In the same vein, being down-to-earth/emotionally resilient is pretty important. Drama queens and perpetual freakers-out don't really do it for me no matter what else they've got going for them.

Bonus points: freckles, brown hair, and ice skates.

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Intelligence, sense of humour, lack of nastiness and kind personality, lack of judgemental qualities, expressiveness, friendliness, similar interests to me...

I also experience aesthetic attraction, but I don't seem to have a 'type' as such...

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I love funny guys. He doesn't need to be a stand up comedian, but he has to be able to make me laugh. Love of animals, especially cats and dogs, is an absolute requirement. Intelligence isn't a huge factor to me, as I've had crushes on a few dim bulbs before. However, if his IQ was 60 points lower than mine, that would get tiring after awhile.

As for physical aspects, I love blue, green, and grey eyes, and I love long hair on guys, especially if its black or an unnatural color like blue or green. Piercings and tattoos are also huge pros for me, as are foreign accents. Also, I'm most attracted to guys who are slender or who have average bodies.

As for turn OFFS, I've got some. Fitness freaks, chain smokers, facial hair and Yoga loving vegetarians/vegans make me even more asexual.

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Someone who is loyal, kind, accepting, intelligent, trusting, honest and willing to accept me as I am. Someone who feels similarly to me, not in all ways, but someone who is 'going in my direction' as it were, be that philosophically or in activities. Shared values are nice, but as long as I understand *why* they believe what they believe (and they have a good reason), I am pretty accepting. A love of animals can really help. Someone whom I can add happiness to and who makes me happier. A person who can appreciate the need for alone time as well as being close. Looks don't matter to me at all. From a companion perspective, I have a much easier time imagining a female than a male.

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Humour, intelligence, strong personality and a maybe, play the guitar. :)

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I would really love having a relationship with a person if they didn't require the constant obligation of being with them. I need my alone time, you know? Also, I want somebody who will not only be my partner, but also my friend.

Aesthetically, I guess I just want somebody who is healthy. Being attractive in the face is also a huge bonus.

Personality-wise, I go by a quote from Onision. "If you're an evil bitch, your looks count for nothing." Meaning, if they're resentful to any one group [coughJustinBiebercoughOneDirection], then I don't even want to even associate with them, no matter how attractive they may be. [Let the records show that I'm not a fan of either. I just don't understand the hate directed towards them.]

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