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House M.D. - Asexual couple


RandomDent

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“I did a lot of research on asexuality for the episode. My original intent was to introduce it and legitimize it, because I was struck by the response most of you experience, which is similar to the prejudice the homosexual community has received. People hear you’re asexual and they immediately think, ‘What’s wrong with you, how do I fix you?’ I wanted to write against that. Unfortunately, we are a medical mystery show. Time & again, my notes came back that House needed to solve a mystery and not be wrong. So in THIS CASE, with THESE patients, it was a tumor near the pituitary. But I hoped I could (now it seems unsuccessfully) introduce asexuality to the general public and get them asking questions. All they need to do is one google search and they can see for themselves it’s a real community of great people. Originally, part of my dialog included thoughts about whether as a species we’ve grown past sex. Any time we tackle a subject, we risk the possibility of not doing it justice. I apologize that you feel I did you a disservice. It was not my intent. Asexuality is a new topic for me and definitely one I find fascinating. It is a subject I would like to continue to explore here or on future shows I write for. I think it speaks to where humans are now and where we are going. I will do my best in the future to do it justice.”

— House writer Kath Lingenfelter on writing the eighth episode of season nine

I saw that on tumblr. Her heart was in the right place?

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“I did a lot of research on asexuality for the episode. My original intent was to introduce it and legitimize it, because I was struck by the response most of you experience, which is similar to the prejudice the homosexual community has received. People hear you’re asexual and they immediately think, ‘What’s wrong with you, how do I fix you?’ I wanted to write against that. Unfortunately, we are a medical mystery show. Time & again, my notes came back that House needed to solve a mystery and not be wrong. So in THIS CASE, with THESE patients, it was a tumor near the pituitary. But I hoped I could (now it seems unsuccessfully) introduce asexuality to the general public and get them asking questions. All they need to do is one google search and they can see for themselves it’s a real community of great people. Originally, part of my dialog included thoughts about whether as a species we’ve grown past sex. Any time we tackle a subject, we risk the possibility of not doing it justice. I apologize that you feel I did you a disservice. It was not my intent. Asexuality is a new topic for me and definitely one I find fascinating. It is a subject I would like to continue to explore here or on future shows I write for. I think it speaks to where humans are now and where we are going. I will do my best in the future to do it justice.”

— House writer Kath Lingenfelter on writing the eighth episode of season nine

I saw that on tumblr. Her heart was in the right place?

She also implied that the higher-ups forced both characters to be not-really-asexual. :(

On a more optimistic note, she also tweeted this to another ace who had written to her about the episode:

"I owe you guys one, then. All my best to you."

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Okay so here a few things we need to realize:

1. It's a TV Show

2. It's a TV Show

3. Who Cares

Unfortunately, a lot of people get their ideas about life from watching TV.

To deny the impact popular mainstream television/film has on the population is deluding actual fact. My personal proof for this is my "friends" who have been asking me if I ever went to the doctor for my asexuality to see if it is caused by another problem. When did they ask? After the show aired. You put this subject on a medical television (people who watch medical television are more likely to take the plot lines as legitiamate. It is the same with crime shows)and more likely than not, people will take it as fact. I hope people who never knew about asexuality take the time to research for themselves and educate themselves on the topic.

“I did a lot of research on asexuality for the episode. My original intent was to introduce it and legitimize it, because I was struck by the response most of you experience, which is similar to the prejudice the homosexual community has received. People hear you’re asexual and they immediately think, ‘What’s wrong with you, how do I fix you?’ I wanted to write against that. Unfortunately, we are a medical mystery show. Time & again, my notes came back that House needed to solve a mystery and not be wrong. So in THIS CASE, with THESE patients, it was a tumor near the pituitary. But I hoped I could (now it seems unsuccessfully) introduce asexuality to the general public and get them asking questions. All they need to do is one google search and they can see for themselves it’s a real community of great people. Originally, part of my dialog included thoughts about whether as a species we’ve grown past sex. Any time we tackle a subject, we risk the possibility of not doing it justice. I apologize that you feel I did you a disservice. It was not my intent. Asexuality is a new topic for me and definitely one I find fascinating. It is a subject I would like to continue to explore here or on future shows I write for. I think it speaks to where humans are now and where we are going. I will do my best in the future to do it justice.”

— House writer Kath Lingenfelter on writing the eighth episode of season nine

I saw that on tumblr. Her heart was in the right place?

It seems like she meant to do good, but it went pretty... bad. I don't doubt her heart was in the right place at all. I am just wondering why she couldn't make House wrong this time. It has happened before. But alas, I wasn't the writer. I think the positive of this whole thing was that "Asexual" was said on a mainstream television show, and hopefully that gets some people thinking and learning.

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Hey everyone! I am a sexual, so I can't entirely relate to how angry/frustrated/insulted you must feel after watching that episode of "House," but as a blogger for a relationship/dating website I was able to share some of the reasons the episode was so unbelievably false with people looking for answers. Check out the full post here and let me know if there's any changes or recommendations!

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"Shame on you, Fox." That is right. Shame on Fox... the episode made me want to puke... I mean, really, we can't all have a "brain tumor," can we?

... yah know... if they were smart, which they are not, they'd bring the guy back after having the tumor removed, and he'd still be asexual... of course his non-asexual wife would probably leave him... but that would be a good plot. But nope. They won't bother to do that. It would be too "open minded," wouldn't it?

Edited by Arca nine Huggles
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"Shame on you, Fox." That is right. Shame on Fox... the episode made me want to puke... I mean, really, we can't all have a "brain tumor," can we?

:rolleyes:

But seriously, I think that the writers had good intentions...I just wish one of the characters would have actually been asexual :/

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... yah know... if they were smart, which they are not, they'd bring the guy back after having the tumor removed, and he'd still be asexual... of course his non-asexual wife would probably leave him... but that would be a good plot. But nope. They won't bother to do that. It would be too "open minded," wouldn't it?

Judging by the writer's responses on twitter, I can actually see that happening. Though it wouldn't surprise me if everyone jumped to the conclsion that it left permanent damage or something regardless of what went on.

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But seriously, I think that the writers had good intentions...I just wish one of the characters would have actually been asexual :/

I agree. And Kath Lingenfelter has been extremely polite and gracious in taking the time to reply to people with questions and tweeting the link to AVEN.

I'm just sad that this episode will probably cause more parents/friends/spouses to look for a reason for asexuality rather than accepting it as an orientation.

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This episode was permanent damage... I can see thousands of possibly asexual people running up medical bills searching endlessly for non-existent conditions... getting blood tests and brain scans and checking themselves into mental hospitals, thinking they might be crazy if the doctors can't find a physical condition. Then 20 years later, after all that waste of money and time, they'll realize they may actually be asexual for real.

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Hey everyone! I am a sexual, so I can't entirely relate to how angry/frustrated/insulted you must feel after watching that episode of "House," but as a blogger for a relationship/dating website I was able to share some of the reasons the episode was so unbelievably false with people looking for answers. Check out the full post here and let me know if there's any changes or recommendations!

Forgive me and I hope I don't offend, but were a couple things in your blog entry that struck me as a little strange:

Another issue was that the couple being studied by the doc called themselves asexual, when really there were problems rooted in their marriage that involved big lies. The husband had erectile dysfunction which made the woman feel bad. She went on with the lack of sexual attraction concept to spare his feelings and her insecurity. This is not a REAL asexual relationship.

Well, from what I hear (since I haven't had the opportunity to actually watch the show), he didn't know that there was an underlying medical problem to his erectile dysfunction, and just thought he was asexual. Is it really lying if you don't know the truth? And what exactly constitutes a "REAL" asexual relationship? I assume that "REAL" probably refers to the notion that at least one of the members in the relationship must be asexual, but for all intents and purposes the husband might have been. My concern with this statement is that there are relationships where both people in the couple are asexual but also interested in engaging in sexual activity, even though they both lack sexual attraction.

In my opinion, the problem with the show was that it conflated sex drive/libido with sexual attraction, when it's still not clear what the nature of the link between the two concepts is.

In my opinion, their biggest error of all was making the orientation a treatable medical condition. Asexuality isn’t like an ear infection, strep throat or chlamydia. There isn’t a cure or a quick fix. It is a lifestyle.

I'm not sure there's a particular lifestyle associated with asexuality... are there particular lifestyles associated with any other orientation???

Those are my two cents on your blog post! I really appreciate your taking time to get the word out about this, Jillian!!! Every bit helps!!! :cake:

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I just got a call from one of my friends...

She watches House..I never did and was not aware of this episode till now...

She was all "I know you really think your lack of sexual drive is genuine, that is why I beg of you, go see a doctor again, there is a very high chance this is an actual physical problem..."blah blah blah

She was one of the few people who respected me and belived me, she even once said "it's hard for me to understand, but the human condition is so diverse, there is bound to be people less or not inclined towards sex. In my book, you are normal, don't fret about what others think."

I tried to reasure her, after all I HAVE been checked many times (for other issues but still) she was crying...

This is just a matter of time for all my friends and family to be talking about it and pressuring me.

I am afraid, I am sad, and I don't know how to feel about those 7 years I have been wearing and shared the "asexual" label.

To all those facing a similar situation:

Courage!

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See all the problems this has caused now? This is going to be a major difficulty in all of our lives.

This stupid show is going to scare a lot of people into thinking they have cancer or some serious condition and cause a tremendous amount of needless worry.

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mdchristopher

I wrote a blog post about my surprisingly visceral reaction to the episode, Asexuality on House: You're Doing it Wrong. The episode played out almost exactly as I imagined it, so I was actually taken aback that it upset me as much as it did. It wasn't just the way the episode turned out - it was the fact that this episode now exists in the public consciousness.

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I just got a call from one of my friends...

She watches House..I never did and was not aware of this episode till now...

She was all "I know you really think your lack of sexual drive is genuine, that is why I beg of you, go see a doctor again, there is a very high chance this is an actual physical problem..."blah blah blah

She was one of the few people who respected me and belived me, she even once said "it's hard for me to understand, but the human condition is so diverse, there is bound to be people less or not inclined towards sex. In my book, you are normal, don't fret about what others think."

I tried to reasure her, after all I HAVE been checked many times (for other issues but still) she was crying...

This is just a matter of time for all my friends and family to be talking about it and pressuring me.

I am afraid, I am sad, and I don't know how to feel about those 7 years I have been wearing and shared the "asexual" label.

To all those facing a similar situation:

Courage!

If I had a friend call me up about this... I'd hang up. She was crying... ? Oh brother.

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I should probably be more upset about this considering that I DID spend close to two years combing the academic literature, reading anything I could get my hands on pertaining to sexuality and sexual orientation to find out if there is any legitimate medical cause(s) of asexuality, but I'm not.

Did they learn nothing (I think everyone has already said what is wrong with the episode so I don't need to comment further)?

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sinisterporpoise

If there were not people who do not rely on shows like House as their only source of medical information, I doubt this would be a problem.

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I haven't posted on here in ages. I didn't know about the House episode until I saw a few promos for it and thought it might protray asexuals in a positive light. I wasn't happy with the final results either. I think it feeds into sterotypes and misinformation.

I'm glad the writer has responded to us.

I doubt the entertainment press will even cover this controversy. If it was a gay couple they would.

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Ase of Spades

For me this episode failing is actually more of a personal blow because when I told my dad I'm ace, he brushed it off as something being wrong with my mind/hormones because of the years I was on birth control and taking medication for my ADD. He loves watching House, and part of me was hoping they'd do it justice just in case he happened to watch it, and he could see for himself that it's a legit thing. Instead, they just proved him right. I doubt he would have taken it all that seriously anyways since it's just a fictional show, but just the idea that he could see that couple and think "Well, maybe this is an actual thing" was kinda nice. :( Now that'll never happen.

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I haven't posted on here in ages. I didn't know about the House episode until I saw a few promos for it and thought it might protray asexuals in a positive light. I wasn't happy with the final results either. I think it feeds into sterotypes and misinformation.

I'm glad the writer has responded to us.

I doubt the entertainment press will even cover this controversy. If it was a gay couple they would.

Yes, you are right... if it was a gay couple, it would have been handled with more sensitivity also, I think.

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Saw some reviews being advertised on Twitter, so took a look at them. Apparently, this is how some people understood the significance of the side story:

English review from here (bolded italicized emphasis mine):

The clinic presented an asexual woman who would definitely not have featured in "Fugliness Weekly". Wilson is perplexed by an attractive, healthy woman who appears to have no sex drive. He tells House, which of course means a bet is on. House suggests that Wilson would only have told him about her if he didn't believe the patient himself. $100 dollars and House can't examine or talk to the patient. Rules were meant to be bent so House examines the husband instead who says he is also asexual. It turns out the husband has a tumour in his brain which decreases his libido and that the wife was lying in order to make the marriage work. This parallels the wife of the Alzheimer's patient keeping up appearences to keep her marriage from crumbling.

Portuguese review from here (translated by Google Translate):

Wilson: You're Both celibate?

Patient: Neither of us is. Celibacy is a choice, this is our nature: we're asexual.

Wilson: Um, I'm not sure Which box to check.

At the same time there is a bet between Wilson ( Robert Sean Leonard ) and House obviously skeptical about the operation and sincerity of an asexual relationship. As expected, House back to win another bet and confirm your motto that everyone mind. This story has linked up well with the main case, although he speaks of sacrifices opposites, the patient's wife the week, sacrificed his life but not his sexual desire for her husband, while Wilson's patient, sacrificed their needs , for a life with one who loves. It will be a more noble sacrifice than the other, is there any more excusable, or are both acceptable?

House: Lots of people do not have fri. Anyone Who Says They Do not Want to Either are sick, dead, or lying.

I just find it interesting how differently other people have interpreted this.

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I didn't see the episode as I live in the UK, but I've heard what the outcome was on here and on the Facebook asexual group. It concerns me that although the writer was trying to be fair and had her hands tied, she still says she'd like to explore this 'medical condition' more. Which implies that asexuality is not a sexual orientation, but a disorder of some kind.

Imagine if this episode had been screened with a gay couple, and House finding that homosexuality was either caused by a brain tumour or being in denial of the fact that you were actually heterosexual. Would this be seen as a positive thing for acceptance of homosexuality as a sexual orientation?

Personally I would rather have no publicity than such negative stuff, which sets us back years in our attempts to be recognised as an orientation, not victims of a disease or a mental disorder of some kind.

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I agree... no publicity is better than bad publicity. This is horrendous.

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Janus the Fox
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I see this hasn't turned out as we had hoped to put it mildly.. I know one should never trust Fox on pretty much anything, but the preview did look more promising. The writer's reaction is quite positive, but as others have said, the damage has been done.

So... it was lupus?

Nah, we're not that lucky. :rolleyes:

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Did anyone notice the deceptive editing of the conversation between House and Wilson in the promo? They cut the second half of Wilson's line "It's a valid sexual orientation... according to this article.", to make it sound like he was more adamantly defending asexuality.

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Nico-Nico Friendo

After hearing all the negative things about this episode, I bet it will piss me off even more if I watch it. I used to like watching House, but now . . . I don't think I can bear to see it. And I bet my parents will watch it and think that asexuals (like me) just have hormone problems or some other disease. GRR.

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Saw the episode, haven't read the replies. IMO the show made the same mistake most people do... associating asexuality with a lack of libido. Asexuality has no physical symptoms, therefore it isn't a medial problem.

OTOH it's also usually true that any press is good press.

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Did anyone notice the deceptive editing of the conversation between House and Wilson in the promo? They cut the second half of Wilson's line "It's a valid sexual orientation... according to this article.", to make it sound like he was more adamantly defending asexuality.

Yeah, I noticed that too. <_<

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Marmalade_Cat

I hope that the writer for this episode will keep their word and create another episode that deals with the topic of Asexuality.

On another note, I personally liked the episode (Because of the major story dealing with the Alzheimer's patient, and also House's 'awesome' relationship with Dr. Foreman xD) Now I admit, I might be a little biased since I'm a HUGE House fan, but I didn't like how the episode dealt with Asexuality. Sure, it is a medical drama (and House always sees things as symptoms- in one episode, he tried to find an explanation as to why a patient was a very devout Hasidic Jew, and in another episode he wanted to figure out why a man was an extreme philanthropist.) But in regards to sexual orientation, the writer(s) should have handled it differently or portrayed the couple in a different way. I'll still keep watching House, and here's hoping that the future episodes will shine a more...POSITIVE light :D

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