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Platonic Love vs Romantic Love


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#1 badukplayer

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Posted 27 December 2011 - 04:46 AM

What is the difference between loving someone (Platonic) and being in love (Romantic) with someone? Is it just the feeling you get from being around them. To me all love is the same. Love is just being committed in anyway and supportive of someone because you like who they are and you like being with them. That does not mean that there won't be times when friends and lovers annoy each other to the point that they don't want to talk to each other anymore. But if they love each other they would want and/or try to correct and change their behavior to get along together.

I just think that the media tells us how Platonic Love and Romantic Love are different and some people just buy into this difference. I know some people say that romantic love is platonic love plus the sexual love. I do not believe this because there are romantic asexuals. I just don't see why there is such an emphasis that they are two separate and different things. What is your view on the two? How are they different in your eyes? Are they different to you? Has the media effected your view on love? How has your real life experience affected your views on love?

Out of the two which has influenced your views more? How is your views different or similar to how the media portrays different types of love?

If it helps I identify as a aromatic asexual. I have never felt a need or want to be in a relationship, but I am not against trying one out. I imagine that if I ever do get in a relationship it would just be a best friend type of thing with no to minimal sexual or physical contact.

#2 Mr. Shuttershy

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Posted 27 December 2011 - 05:54 AM

Well, as a romantic asexual in love with an aromantic asexual, this hits home.

The debate within my relationship is just this. To her, we're just 'bros' and she doesn't 'feel that way' for me, but actually I am open with my feelings to her and she agrees with everything. Meaning, one of us is wrong. We're either romantic or platonic. So. Really, its all how one views it. For me, the difference is commitment. Like, I don't want anything to change with her except maybe a label. I want to live with her and grow old with her, and maybe even have a family with her. However, she says she's never experienced romantic feelings.

For me, its different for everyone. Obviously, what's romantic for one person is platonic for the next. The key is to work it out with that person, if its an issue.

To answer you, there really isn't a difference. There's just labels and franticness and fear. Society has so separated friends and marriage to the point that, they must exist separate. However, they also tell you to marry your best friend. If I were to get with my friend, nothing would change; because we're beautifully close to each other. When you remove physical intimacy,.. only emotional intimacy is left. Ergo, only friendship is left. So its just up to the person to decide what they're comfortable with.

My view is different because I don't see any line between friend and girlfriend. I just see people that I want chill with, but not come home to, and then that one special lady I'd like to live with and work on life as a team.
I suppose its hard to feel a minority if your personal majority is majorly minorities.

#3 Midnight Lady

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Posted 27 December 2011 - 05:59 AM

Demisexual heteroromantic here.
Well, as far as I remember, Platonic love comes from Plato and his students. So, this love presupposes more the admiration and worship of someone. And it is ok if it is homophobic, because Plato's students WERE men. Romantic love included and stressed the feelings between men and women. It is today when this love is ascribed to everybody for everybody. So, the difference is technical, from a historical point of view. I think, today romantic love is replacing Platonic one, meaning the same things, mostly. I personally like Romantic Love concept. It just sounds more pleasant than Platonic. :) Besides, I am not a huge fan of Plato... :)

#4 Mr. Shuttershy

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Posted 27 December 2011 - 06:06 AM

and my friendship with this girl changed my views.

She's changed all of my views. Challenged me to think in new ways. She challenges me as a person. Its not like other friendship. My other friendships, there were struggles but..never really. It was never really a place for me to grow. Friendships were places for me to just relax in. But this time, its work. It's sooooo much work to maintain us. There's got to be constant, honest communication. Like, blunt honest. And we do hit some hard issues. At the end of the day though, I'm learning more about how to function ''logically'' and teaching her how to function ''emotionally''. It's quite different from my other experiences.
I suppose its hard to feel a minority if your personal majority is majorly minorities.

#5 Skullery Maid

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Posted 28 December 2011 - 07:37 PM

I just see people that I want chill with, but not come home to, and then that one special lady I'd like to live with and work on life as a team.


With platonic love, I want my friends to have everything they've ever wanted, and to be happy, comfortable, and safe. I want the same things for my romantic partners, but the difference is, I want to be there with them while they discover the world, and I want to be the one who makes them happy. I want my friends to explore their world. I want to share in the exploration with my partner.

** General Disclaimer ** I believe in everyone's right to do, say, and be anything and anyone they want.  None of the opinions expressed by me should be taken to mean that I intend to enforce my views.  I am simply sharing my perspective. 

 
"He said 'It's all in your head' and I said 'so is everything', but he didn't get it" - Fiona Apple 


#6 Jillianimal

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Posted 28 December 2011 - 07:50 PM

I think the 2 have more in common than people think & that what ultimately separates them is the feeling. Two different flavors, but the same kind of substance when you get right down to it. That's just how I see it.
"No, my friend. We are lunatics from the hospital up the highway, psycho-ceramics, the cracked pots of mankind. Would you like me to decipher a Rorschach for you? No? You must hurry on? Ah, he's gone. Pity." ~ Dale Harding (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest [the best book evah])

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#7 Mr. Shuttershy

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Posted 28 December 2011 - 08:31 PM


I just see people that I want chill with, but not come home to, and then that one special lady I'd like to live with and work on life as a team.


With platonic love, I want my friends to have everything they've ever wanted, and to be happy, comfortable, and safe. I want the same things for my romantic partners, but the difference is, I want to be there with them while they discover the world, and I want to be the one who makes them happy. I want my friends to explore their world. I want to share in the exploration with my partner.

^ Thiiiiiis
I suppose its hard to feel a minority if your personal majority is majorly minorities.

#8 Faelights

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Posted 29 December 2011 - 07:33 AM



I just see people that I want chill with, but not come home to, and then that one special lady I'd like to live with and work on life as a team.


With platonic love, I want my friends to have everything they've ever wanted, and to be happy, comfortable, and safe. I want the same things for my romantic partners, but the difference is, I want to be there with them while they discover the world, and I want to be the one who makes them happy. I want my friends to explore their world. I want to share in the exploration with my partner.

^ Thiiiiiis

Oooo, I like this explanation as well ^_^

As I have described previous in this post here, I want to share everything with my romantic partner(s), and I also want them to share everything with me.

#9 NevadaWolf

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Posted 29 December 2011 - 11:53 PM

Thirding!!

I love that explanation, good way to describe it!!
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#10 NorthernRose

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Posted 30 December 2011 - 04:59 AM

What is the difference between loving someone (Platonic) and being in love (Romantic) with someone? Is it just the feeling you get from being around them. To me all love is the same. Love is just being committed in anyway and supportive of someone because you like who they are and you like being with them. That does not mean that there won't be times when friends and lovers annoy each other to the point that they don't want to talk to each other anymore. But if they love each other they would want and/or try to correct and change their behavior to get along together.

I just think that the media tells us how Platonic Love and Romantic Love are different and some people just buy into this difference. I know some people say that romantic love is platonic love plus the sexual love. I do not believe this because there are romantic asexuals. I just don't see why there is such an emphasis that they are two separate and different things. What is your view on the two? How are they different in your eyes? Are they different to you? Has the media effected your view on love? How has your real life experience affected your views on love?

Out of the two which has influenced your views more? How is your views different or similar to how the media portrays different types of love?

If it helps I identify as a aromatic asexual. I have never felt a need or want to be in a relationship, but I am not against trying one out. I imagine that if I ever do get in a relationship it would just be a best friend type of thing with no to minimal sexual or physical contact.



Romantic is when the world seems to spin around you when you are sober. Platonic is when the world actually spins because you are dead drunk with your mate. :ph34r:

#11 Jillianimal

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Posted 30 December 2011 - 05:10 AM


What is the difference between loving someone (Platonic) and being in love (Romantic) with someone? Is it just the feeling you get from being around them. To me all love is the same. Love is just being committed in anyway and supportive of someone because you like who they are and you like being with them. That does not mean that there won't be times when friends and lovers annoy each other to the point that they don't want to talk to each other anymore. But if they love each other they would want and/or try to correct and change their behavior to get along together.

I just think that the media tells us how Platonic Love and Romantic Love are different and some people just buy into this difference. I know some people say that romantic love is platonic love plus the sexual love. I do not believe this because there are romantic asexuals. I just don't see why there is such an emphasis that they are two separate and different things. What is your view on the two? How are they different in your eyes? Are they different to you? Has the media effected your view on love? How has your real life experience affected your views on love?

Out of the two which has influenced your views more? How is your views different or similar to how the media portrays different types of love?

If it helps I identify as a aromatic asexual. I have never felt a need or want to be in a relationship, but I am not against trying one out. I imagine that if I ever do get in a relationship it would just be a best friend type of thing with no to minimal sexual or physical contact.



Romantic is when the world seems to spin around you when you are sober. Platonic is when the world actually spins because you are dead drunk with your mate. :ph34r:


LOL not as sweet & adorable as Skull's description but I love this.
"No, my friend. We are lunatics from the hospital up the highway, psycho-ceramics, the cracked pots of mankind. Would you like me to decipher a Rorschach for you? No? You must hurry on? Ah, he's gone. Pity." ~ Dale Harding (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest [the best book evah])

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#12 Pamcakes

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Posted 02 January 2012 - 10:37 PM

It's just the difference between white and milk chocolate; the same species, but different races.
They just feel different, and if you've felt both, you would know the difference. I'm sorry to say that, as much of a non-answer as that is, but like most emotional experiences, there is no objective standard by which it can be easily described to an outsider.
Some things can't be explained, they need to be felt.

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#13 Feather

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Posted 03 January 2012 - 12:38 AM

For me, platonic love is a feeling where you want to be fantastic friends with the person, maybe even best friends, but you don't want romantic gestures or anything. I would love a longterm platonic relationship, personally. Like, best friends being flatmates forever. I have never experienced romantic love so I don't think I can tell you much about the other.

#14 routa

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Posted 03 January 2012 - 04:30 PM


I just see people that I want chill with, but not come home to, and then that one special lady I'd like to live with and work on life as a team.


With platonic love, I want my friends to have everything they've ever wanted, and to be happy, comfortable, and safe. I want the same things for my romantic partners, but the difference is, I want to be there with them while they discover the world, and I want to be the one who makes them happy. I want my friends to explore their world. I want to share in the exploration with my partner.


You just typed what I have been thinking for a long time :'D Great!

#15 sexualwithasexual

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Posted 04 January 2012 - 02:58 AM

In what I call a platonic relationship, I have deep respect and love, but I may not really feel like I would want to live with said friend. In a romantic friendship/relationship I usually either want to live with that person, or at least be around them a whole lot of the time, in the place that they live. It's like I need to smell their rooms, eat on their dishes, rub their feet. Even if I don't experience sexual feelings for them. I may or may not. The other main difference is the amount of vulnerableness I feel around each. A platonic friend can teach me things, lift my spirits and even make me angry, but a romantic friend can break my heart.

#16 hm76

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Posted 04 January 2012 - 08:11 PM

In what I call a platonic relationship, I have deep respect and love, but I may not really feel like I would want to live with said friend. In a romantic friendship/relationship I usually either want to live with that person, or at least be around them a whole lot of the time, in the place that they live. It's like I need to smell their rooms, eat on their dishes, rub their feet. Even if I don't experience sexual feelings for them. I may or may not. The other main difference is the amount of vulnerableness I feel around each. A platonic friend can teach me things, lift my spirits and even make me angry, but a romantic friend can break my heart.


Thanks for this comment, I've been confused for a while about my feelings for a friend, our relationship didn't fit into the 'just friends' box as I have not felt this way before and have experienced close friendship previously, your comment describes very accurately how I have been feeling and what we have been doing!




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