Please, what am I?

[Cisuhhhleee]

I have absolutely no sexual attraction to the looks of men or women. But when it comes down to sex, I would enjoy it with a female, but despise it with a male. And before you go ranting about how I am a lesbian.. Take into consideration that I do not find women attractive at all, I could never be in an emotional relationship with a women either. So to be blunt, I am only attracted to female genitals, on occasion. This feeling is rare, I'd say every couple of months or so. I do have sex with my current boyfriend, but try to avoid it and don't feel anything when it's happening, just discomfort. Hah, I actually only prefer one form of having sex with a girl. I don't enjoy penetration at all, let's put it that way... What is wrong with me? It's making staying with my boyfriend extremely difficult, its making being happy extremely difficult.. I want to get married and have children? And I could never date a girl.. Am I just supposed to lie there in discomfort and take it whenever he wants? Because this isn't making him happy either.. Of corse he wants me to want to have sex with him, what loving boyfriend wouldn't? I feel so terribly for him, I love him dearly. Please help, and be serious please.

[Lost On Purpose]

Hi, and welcome to AVEN. Have some cake.

I'm no good with labels, despising them myself, so I won't try to tell you "what you are". I will say, that from what I've seen on this site that you won't get any rants or un-serious replies.

As for your boyfriend, I would recommend talking with him about the problems you are having with sex, especially if it's uncomfortable. I don't think you should have to "lie there in discomfort and take it whenever he wants". Think about what that would mean for the future. You want to get married -- do you really want to look forward to years of 'that'?

If it's just the discomfort during sex that's the problem, then I would see a doctor(gynecologist) to rule out any medical problems or hormone imbalances. If you are asexual, then you probably have a hard road ahead of you. I'm fairly new to this site myself, but from what I've seen, 'mixed relationships' between sexuals and asexuals require a lot of work and communication. Again, I recommend talking to your boyfriend. I don't know if it will save your relationship, but not doing so will likely ruin it.

Hope that helps.

[never odd or even]

umm, my advice; stop having sex and start talking to your BF about this.

sex is NOT a requirement of a relationship, just because you are in one does not immediately oblige you to copulate.

if you arent sexually attracted to males or females then you probably are asexual. practical sexual choice doesnt define orientation if you dont actually want sex.

do you experience romantic attraction? cause being ace doesnt make you unromantic.

[Waterbottle20]

It sounds like you're grayish- homosexual. However, your romantic orientation can be different than your sexual orientation.

You may be heteroromantic even if you are grayishly homosexual. Hence why you might not find romance appealing with women.

Just my opinion.

[NorthernRose]

I have absolutely no sexual attraction to the looks of men or women. But when it comes down to sex, I would enjoy it with a female, but despise it with a male. And before you go ranting about how I am a lesbian.. Take into consideration that I do not find women attractive at all, I could never be in an emotional relationship with a women either. So to be blunt, I am only attracted to female genitals, on occasion. This feeling is rare, I'd say every couple of months or so. I do have sex with my current boyfriend, but try to avoid it and don't feel anything when it's happening, just discomfort. Hah, I actually only prefer one form of having sex with a girl. I don't enjoy penetration at all, let's put it that way... What is wrong with me? It's making staying with my boyfriend extremely difficult, its making being happy extremely difficult.. I want to get married and have children? And I could never date a girl.. Am I just supposed to lie there in discomfort and take it whenever he wants? Because this isn't making him happy either.. Of corse he wants me to want to have sex with him, what loving boyfriend wouldn't? I feel so terribly for him, I love him dearly. Please help, and be serious please.

The best thing to do is to come out in the open about this but of course you should be prepared and to be prepared means that you will have to talk to two people: your doctor and your boyfriend.

I can't help but feel sorry for you and moreso, for your boyfriend. If he really loves you, both of you will come out stronger after talking about your whole situation. Best of luck!