Everything changed

[Al Frankenstein]

I may be an interesting case. I started out in my teen years as an overly-romantic male that was always looking for love. I had sex sporadically, but it was often combined with panic-attacks. As I aged I gained a sex-drive, but one that never included the "normal" guy thoughts of threesomes, or multiple girlfriends. At the age of 38 my testosterone dropped as a side-effect of MS. In conjunction with this I lost my sex-drive. Even taking testosterone-suppliments that return my levels to normal, I am disinterested in sex. I see it mostly as a curiousity. "Sexy" behavior I now see as animalistic, or manipulative. My mind has suddenly become very clinical/cynical in regards to sex. In the last 3 years I have had sex maybe 7 times, but each time my mind was on something else. Also it was difficult to keep the equipment working, even with Viagra, because in order for viagra to work there must be "arousal", which is pretty hard when I'm seeing myself from the outside, trying to have sex and thinking the whole time about it being a chore to be "done with".