The Rx Gray

[MiniLo]

I'm pretty sure that I was gray (definitely much closer to sexual, though) before I started on the pill, but it's hard to remember how much now. Been two years since I've been on it after being diagnosed with cysts and endometriosis, so I can't really stop taking it. Or at least, I have to be on some kind of hormone therapy to keep myself from having periods ever again. (They wanted to put me on depo provera for a year following my surgery, but that was way too scary, so this is the regimen I'm on instead.)

So, this is my lot in life; at least until I hit menopause, which'll be another 30 years. I know that a loss of libido is basically expected with the pill, but I've only taken one brand (soon to be changing to a generic), so I don't really know how much that loss differs from formula to formula. All I know is that the rate at which I used to think about sex has plummeted, erotic stimulation rarely feels nice, and most porn (videos and photos) don't interest me much anymore, and sometimes even gross me out, depending on how dead my libido is.

I'm more or less okay with all of this, to be honest, though. I don't really care about being "more sexual" than I am right now, though the situation has impacted a lot of other relationship areas and things having to do with my and my BF's sex life; "how often", surprisingly enough, not being one of them. (Well, as much as frequency can't be an issue in a LDR.)

I can't possibly be the only gray here that's been put into this position "forcibly"... or having my sexuality become defined by medications that I'm taking. If anyone else here is experiencing this, or is maybe gray against their will, maybe this can be a place to talk about it. :B

[Melisande]

I have always been grey. On my antidepressant and furthermore when I am on birth control I tend to be fully asexual. I tolerate sex with those I care about. I rarely enjoy it. I rarely want it. This is when I am off all meds. On them I really could care less about any of it. At one point I was so meded up I hated sex with a complete passion. Needless to say my marriage went to trash. I am nut sure if the medicated me is the real me and a product of my being happy and secure on the meds or if the grey me is the real me and everything else is just side affects. Explaining any of this to a "normal" person just does not happen. Very few even understand why I was married in the first place.

[Liveandlearn]

Before the meds, I was grey but nearing completely asexual. I take a few things for depression, which are both repressing and sedating. When I forget to take them, though, I find myself having a few fantasies, but they're rarely sexual per se and are even more rarely geared towards other people. I've thought through it, though, and especially since I'll probably be on this medication indefinitely, I've had to come to terms with the fact that I probably will have little use for sexual relationships in my upcoming life. Although there's still a lot of time left (after all, I'm only sixteen), I don't feel compelled to be sexual at all; in fact, I only weakly understand the tendencies of my sexual friends. I've even tried it, but . . . nah. All in all, I'd say it's good to be asexual.

[blackwingsblackheart]

I was put on the pill at age 15 for an ovarian cyst disorder and was on it for 15 years until the new doctor I was seeing told me it had been safe for me to go off it since my early 20s Although I was curious about sex, nothing I tried felt good--not masturbation, not partnered sex--and I pretty much gave up on it all. There was a brief and fascinating interval in my mid-20s when I went on Welbutrin for support after my adoptive mother died (I decided to go off them because I was getting better and because they made my mouth painfully dry, but just for a little while I glimpsed what things must be like for real sexuals. Uff da!). Once I got off the pill altogether I discovered I was able to masturbate and went on a little sex-toy-and-porn spree to satisfy some curiosities, but that pent-up interest has been worked out and the hormones have settled a bit. I'm glad to know what's really ME and what was mere chemistry; I'm now happy and content as an asexual now I know it's not a drug side-effect.

[Mourning_Glory]

I've always been Asexual but I find with being on the pill and Effexor (depression med) I have no sex drive what so ever. At least before the Effexor it was easier to have sex one in awhile, but now its like...ugh no. It doesn't really bother me too much but since I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years...its a little frustrating not to be able to be 'on' once in awhile for him.

[MiniLo]

Huh... my sex drive has been completely dead for about two months now. It's usually just barely alive, but not lately, it seems. When I forget to take my pill or can't afford to immediately fill my Rx and go without it for a few days, I'll have a period and my libido will come back for a little bit, but I've been without for a week and a half and absolutely nothing has changed. Ugh... it's a good thing I go in for my annual in a couple weeks so I can ask the OB what's going on..

[Feo Takahari]

I wasn't medicated during my teenage years, but I had an undiagnosed immune disease that left me incredibly tired. As best I can tell, it did not affect attraction--only libido.