20 replies to this topic

[Oxalis]

Many people equate passion with sex when talking about relationships. I just wondered how other AVENites express passion in their romantic relationships without sex.

Cuddling can get pretty passionate; I can attest to that. Any other input?

[Mismatched]

I can honestly say that I have never felt passion, but I do feel deeply. In relation to anything it is hard for me to get emotional or excited. I never get extremely happy, or bawling sad, but I do enjoy being extremely calm and content. I just like feeling even.

But none of that stops me from caring deeply about someone, which is a stronger sign of how good the relationship is rather than gauging how carried away you can get together.

[Shaedow]

Close talks an feel passionate too, and hugging as you said. Kissing can too but I know some avenites find that to be too sexual… otherwise I agree with the person above, it's more about feeling extremely relaxed and content around the other person

[Mr. Shuttershy]

I'd say deep conversations with people.

Sometimes I just get really passionate that the other person is alive, and in relation with me, and I tend to just get overwhelmed with love.

xD;;

[abea]

For me, romantic passion is the overwhelming urge to just TOUCH the person. And for them it usually equates to sex...so I guess it kind of works out. Especially now that I'm getting over my aversion to sex/sex repulsion. I get to hold on to them, they get sex. So that's probably not too helpful.

And I guess a lot of passion is also pretty quiet for me....I'll bake them something, or get them a small gift, give them a massage, or send them a random 'you're so rad' email. Just a little overflow of those warm fuzzies into the physical world.

[glass weegie]

For me, romantic passion is the overwhelming urge to just TOUCH the person. And for them it usually equates to sex...so I guess it kind of works out. Especially now that I'm getting over my aversion to sex/sex repulsion. I get to hold on to them, they get sex. So that's probably not too helpful.

And I guess a lot of passion is also pretty quiet for me....I'll bake them something, or get them a small gift, give them a massage, or send them a random 'you're so rad' email. Just a little overflow of those warm fuzzies into the physical world.

yes! i also enjoy cuddles. a lot.

[Lady Heartilly]

For me, passion is where I jump into my partner's arms and start squeezing and kissing him and can't let go. I guess I'm pretty clingy.

[sadegirl]

I've never really felt passion. But I did have this strange, delightful urge to kiss my guy friend's cheek Perhaps, a low intensity passion? haha

[Sir Robbins]

my first relationship was what I called perfect! We cuddled with each other alot and kissed and gave each other back rubs and scratches and so forth and used to lay on top of each other and kiss and hold one another alot with no sex or any sex related touching. We loved one another for each other and that was that. I miss that girl and relationship so much but that was almost 8 years ago. I desire that true passion for one another rather than what we could offer sexually

[glass weegie]

my first relationship was what I called perfect! We cuddled with each other alot and kissed and gave each other back rubs and scratches and so forth and used to lay on top of each other and kiss and hold one another alot with no sex or any sex related touching. We loved one another for each other and that was that. I miss that girl and relationship so much but that was almost 8 years ago. I desire that true passion for one another rather than what we could offer sexually

you lucky bastard. you lucky lucky bastard.

[m0rtal]

Passion is definitely possible without sex, but sexual people seem like they can never understand this. I agree with everything above, except that I find kissing disgusting. The only thing I would add which is kind of like cuddling, is falling to sleep next to the person you love. I'm married and every night it brings me so much happiness and comfort to lay down next to my partner and go to sleep.

[Pamcakes]

Passion is definitely possible without sex, but sexual people seem like they can never understand this. I agree with everything above, except that I find kissing disgusting. The only thing I would add which is kind of like cuddling, is falling to sleep next to the person you love. I'm married and every night it brings me so much happiness and comfort to lay down next to my partner and go to sleep.

Passion - which just means intensity of enthusiasm/interest - is possible without sex, but not sexual passion, which is what Sexuals want (re: this particular topic, not a blanket statement).
It's really that simple. Passion for cuddling and for doing things together is lovely, and most Sexuals want that, but they want sexual passion, too, and they feel unfulfilled without it.

P.

[Sir Robbins]

my first relationship was what I called perfect! We cuddled with each other alot and kissed and gave each other back rubs and scratches and so forth and used to lay on top of each other and kiss and hold one another alot with no sex or any sex related touching. We loved one another for each other and that was that. I miss that girl and relationship so much but that was almost 8 years ago. I desire that true passion for one another rather than what we could offer sexually

you lucky bastard. you lucky lucky bastard.

I considered myself very lucy and this was before I knew about asexuality or that sexual feelings existed. I miss it dearly and dream about alot.

[noregrets]

This may sound strange, but when I feel passion, my "heart" gets so happy, the whole top of my body (stomach and above) feels over-oxygenated, and I have a desire to become that thing/person - sort of like melting into them/it. (Similar to Brida in Paulo Coelho's novel) Clearly I am not metaphysical, so this is impossible, and in the end I am sad because I can do nothing with that passion. Sexuals make it sound like sex can fulfill this, but I experimented and was devastated. My passion happens with many things: beautiful scenery, music, exciting events, people I love, my pets (occasionally), certain dreams, etc. It does not happen that often, but it is a most interesting feeling when it does. Perhaps I am confusing it with love or something else. Oh well. Time to eat cake.

In regards to relationships, I suppose I really don't express much passion. I don't see the need to. I am happier to experience the stability and trust that a good relationship provides than to be filled with irrational emotions.

[emberwing]

I've never actually been in a relationship, but when I think about people I have a crush on I imagine spending time together, having fun, having deep conversations. Physical touch isn't my strong suit, but I would appreciate cuddling and just staying there, not saying anything, just...being.
Kissing has crossed my mind sometimes, but that's only happened after I feel I really know the person and acknowledge the emotional attraction. I've never had fantasies about sex. Normal girls look at pictures of 'hot' guys on the internet, right? I don't. If I happen to be there when this is going on, I feel nothing looking at the picture. It's just another dude. The guys I've had crushes on I've gotten to KNOW, they're people I feel comfortable with.
It's the same for girls really, though their physical appearance catches my attention more. I might think 'huh, she's kind of pretty. I wonder if she wants to be friends.' Nothing serious ever starts until I know a person.

[notready]

Sex is fine, the problem for me is, not having that feeling naturally. Maybe I am just bad at sex talk. But I really dont feel it.
If I could feel sexual with my partner, I guess It wont be a bad thing.

[Ace Amoeba]

Like virtually everyone else has said, cuddling is very passionate. I would even go a bold step further a suggest that it is the cuddling aspects of sex that make sexual activity so passionate.

I don't even feel that being passionate is limited to physical activity. Enjoying something common like music of art with a person can be passionate, as would any number of activities. Where there is intimacy, there can be passionate. We are passionate about aspects of our lives and when people share that passion with a partner <nightmaremoon>THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED</nightmaremoon>.

Passion is something that is felt and physical touch is not required.

[dilruba]

Passion can b of different kinds, n ya, there is asexual passion:)) emotions, feelings, deep love! But no need in sex, just hugging....

[Adriannu]

Many people equate passion with sex when talking about relationships. I just wondered how other AVENites express passion in their romantic relationships without sex.

Cuddling can get pretty passionate; I can attest to that. Any other input?

I have never really felt passion... The closest I ever came to that was when my (now ex-)boyfriend kissed me on the forehead when we first started dating, before I knew about asexuality. And that was more awkward for me than anything.

[eee]

I am in a asexual or demi sexual marriage with another avenite. We have an intense cuddle/snuggle life. Sex can occur once in a blue moon but our cuddle life is highly valued. We cuddle for hours at a time or many times a day!

[DagonX]

I am very passionate it just my nature.
Its not really dependent on sex, it just who I am inside.
Yet I have sex without passion too, sometimes the two doesn't transfer well.